bernard dowd would be a swiftie. look at that boy and tell me he wouldnāt love the easter eggs and theories. that man would never miss a single hint taylor dropped.
Bernard summed up by little things I found cute/ haha/ Interesting because we all know about the cult and sh$& parents by now:
He likes video games. He's been rizzing Tim up with video games for YEARS, btw. He flirts through conspiracy theories and his video game skills. Look at him. He pulled Tim this way. He's so proud.
Also. Just. Tim's reason for wanting to survive some horrible thing is because he wants to see Bernard get to the next level of his dumb stupid game... Just... Don't talk to me for the next twenty business years... Ugh...
Bernard: #1 Distraction, #1 "I can fix him" guy, also he holds Tim every chance he gets like Tim is gonna be snatched away by an eagle and has done this since high school. I love him.
He made a home made bat signal and summoned Bruce just to go save his wet cat boyfriend who got kidnapped. Love how he isn't scared or intimidated at all, like he is totally chill with the fact Batman knows his name and is towering over himā he does this to the detective guy Tim knew as ROBIN, and the entire marina, and the entire batfam, he showed up at Cass and Steph's apartment, btw. Which, I wanna point out, either means Bernard has hung out with the batgirls to know where they live OR HE LITERALLY IS TIM DRAKE STALKER LEVEL BECAUSE HOW DID HE KNOW WHERE EXACTLY STEPH AND CASS LIVED?! ToT
Also Tim Drake has no secret identity, be so fr...
I just find this funnyā
Plot twist: Bernard is also horrible at talking about his feelings and traumas and bottles them up, ignores them, and becomes angry when someone tries to bring them up and resorts to punching a bag as hard as possible to cope in am excuse that he's "just trying to move on"! :D
He's perfect for the Batfamā
Also he totally nearly brained Tim with a baseball bat... At least he would've if he wasn't ready to shatter his window and probably still brain Tim.
How long has he been trying to sneak up on Tim and scare the sh$& out of him? ToT
I love him. He made it his personal mission to sneak up on Tim and scare him. He chose to do this in Gotham, at night, where Tim lives, following him home, and I love him for that.
His hyperfixation is cooking, includes all cooking related things and celebrities. My proof? This panel, where he rambles about this specific chef at this specific restaurant that Bruce got Tim and Ber reservations for (we love supportive Bruce.) While also showing he has read internet conspiracies about said specific chef who works at this specific restaurant.
I love him.
Also, in this panel we can see he's noticeable fidgeting / stimming(?) with his coat, it's either closed in his fists, or he's just got his fists in front of him (I do this when I stim in public so lemme have this), and he's excited and I headcanon him as either autistic or he has ADHD. Or both. Fun thing I noticed :)
#1 Cause of Tim dropping his iced coffee. He is THE "Tim Drake Loves Caffeine" hater. /j
Extra fun things!!!
ā He gets motion sickness, as seen when he's on a rollercoaster and looks visibly sick. R.I.P. Bernard, you wouldn't survive Tim's driving.
ā He considers Tim his lucky charm, that just being around Tim makes him lucky. He makes me sick /joke
ā He cooks with Tim. I just. That's cute. They cook together in the s#&$y little houseboat...
Hey Alice! Just cause I love learning more about the characters, who do you think would be Nickās favorite formula 1 driver? Thought it would be a fun thing to know!
I have absolutely no knowledge about Formula 1 except I'm 99% sure Nick would have a crush on Charles Leclerc
#24, maybe mixed with #35 with nick and charlie? šš
24. wanting to hug but youāre ignored
35. hug after a fight
Charlie feels fidgety. Flighty. It would be easy to imagine himself drifting away, apart, into specks of dust and bone and nothing much else, if he wasnāt so firmly overwhelmed by his surroundings. Itās harder to escape the feeling when it doesnāt seem to have an obvious root; it sprouts through Charlieās chest without a sensible source, spreading and growing jagged edges that scrape at his nerves.Ā
Thereās no easy way of plucking it out or cutting it down. The best Charlie can do is attempt to blunt the thorns and stop any further growth. The easiest way to do that is to seek out the quiet, melty fire Nick lights in him without fail.
Charlie picks his head up from where heās staring, unseeing, at his textbook, to where Nick is laying on the floor across from him, stomach down, brows furrowed at his laptop screen. Charlie slides his textbook off his crossed legs, tips his head back against his bed, and swallows in an attempt to even his breath.Ā
āDo you want to take a break?ā Charlie asks, tentative and hopeful.Ā
Nick hums absently.Ā
Charlieās fingers tremble and twitch. He twists them into knots. āCome sit with me for a bit?ā
Nickās eyes flicker to him and then back to his laptop, and the furrow between his brow deepens. He tucks the lid of his laptop down and pushes onto his knees, and a bit of tension slips out of Charlie in the wake of something more joyfully expectant.Ā
āActually, good idea. Do you want some tea? I mean, is it weirdādo you mind if I go make some?ā
Charlieās hopes dip slightly, but a mild warmth eases his shoulders. Enough for him to offer Nick a tinily amused, fully fond smile. āIf you want.ā
Nick flashes him a hint of his lopsided grin, and that expectant thing in Charlie flutters, but rather than dipping towards Charlie for a kiss of any kindāor any affection whatsoeverāNick pushes to his feet and is straight out the door.Ā
For the length of Nickās absence, Charlie floats further away, until heās holding himself here by pure force of will and still trembling like a leaf. Heās sure that now, like this, Nick will notice instantly.Ā
But Nick returns, hands Charlie a cup of tea, and settles back down at his laptop with barely a glance.Ā
Charlieās teeth grind. He sucks in breaths until his jaw loosens, swallows until he can force more words up his throat. āIs that so important you canāt take a five minute break?ā
He tries to make it light; heās relieved there are no cracks; heās sure he sounds flatācurious at the very best.Ā
Nick stiffens. āSort of.ā
Itās not the response Charlie was expecting. āReally?ā
āWell, the tea took a few minutes.ā
The words seem light; Nickās expression is blank, if still slightly furrowed; he sounds defensiveāflat at best.Ā
Charlie curls his hands around the cup of tea he canāt bring himself to drink. All he manages to say is, āNick.ā
āEveryoneās telling me Iām behind on these applications,ā Nick spits out, all in a rush, āand even though it shouldnāt matter and itās unfair if itās true youāre supposed to have a better chance if you apply by the early deadlines. So. Yes, itās important.ā
It takes a moment for Charlie to understand. His fingers spasm around his mug. The jagged burrs in his chest sprout into a dozen sharp-edged thorns. This time, āflatā is generous. āSo, youāve come to spend some time time with me to get your applications to leave me all ready. We shouldāve made it a proper date.ā
Nick stills entirely, and his gaze finally settles on Charlie. Instead of melty warmth, Charlie feels the burn of clenching an ice cube. āWhat?ā
Charlie looks down into his tea. His fingers curl until his nails scrape over the ceramic.Ā
āCharlie, donāt. Are you being serious? We talked about it. I thoughtāyou told me to do this. Itās not like I want to be away from you. You were the whole reason I barely considered this to begin with!ā
Itās not anger, in Nickās tone, not yet. But the barbed tips of frustration are there, prodded by confusion, incredulity. Charlie wonders how easy it will be to make them equally sharp. He doesnāt want to know and he canāt resist the urge to find out. āWere being the operative word?ā
Nick pushes onto his knees. His lips are pressed into a thin line. āRight. Is this what you really think, then? So what, you just said you supported me and I was supposed to know you didnāt actually mean it?ā
That cuts a slit in the curtain of Charlieās anger, and his fingers flatten around his mug again as he meets Nickās gaze. āOf course not! Iām always going to support you, Nick, but thatās notādid you think Iād be excited about being left behind?ā
āYouāre making it sound like itās about leaving you and not a decision I have to make to set up the whole fucking rest of my life.ā
āBut that decision is leaving me!ā
āJesus, Charlie, youāre not the only one who struggles,ā Nick explodes, climbing right up onto his feet.Ā
Charlie stares at him.Ā
Nick pushes a hand through his hair; from the state of the soft strands, it could be for the hundredth time today. Charlie hadnāt noticed, when Nick got here a few hours ago. āYouāre not the only one who gets anxious, or scared, or worried about being left. Youāre not the only one in this relationship.ā
Some of Charlieās thorns wither. He leans to set his mug on his nightstand, then twists towards Nick. āI didnātāā
āDo you think Iām not constantly thinking about what it means if Iām going to uni somewhere else? It means no chance of going on and sharing housing with anyone I know. It means not coming home to mum everyday for the first time ever. Itās not even just you, even though thatās the worst part.ā
āNick, Iāā
āItās stupid, because I keep thinking itās going to be like when you were at the clinic, but worse. As if thereās anything in the world that could have been worse than that.ā
The pricks in Charlieās chest are slowly being swapped out for the prick of moisture behind his eyes. āHow do you mean?ā he asks hoarsely.Ā
Nick seems to get smaller, downward and inward as if heās shrinking and deflating at once. His voice has lost all its power when he answers, āI didnāt know I could feel that alone until I had you and then you werenāt there.ā
Charlieās prickly feelings die at the root. āNick,ā he whispers, thickly, and then he climbs to his feet and gathers his boyfriend in the hug heād wanted in the first place. Nick sinks into him in the way he always does, head dropping down onto Charlieās shoulder and arms wounding tight around his middle.Ā
āI always felt so stupid,ā Nick whispers, an admittance meant barely even for Charlie. āYou were really struggling and actually on your own and I couldnāt go a day without thinking about how lost and lonely I was. I never even had to worry about feeling guilty by telling someone that because you werenāt here to tell.ā
Charlie squeezes Nickās shoulders. āNick,ā he breathes, again, because what else can he say? āI thought you said you talked to your mum, and you spent a lot of time with the rugby lads and our friends.ā
āI know,ā Nick says, and it does sound guilty. But more than that, itās miserable. āBut theyāre not you.ā
For a beat, Charlieās heart stops, and then all he can say is, āI know,ā because he does. Out of everything Nick his said, nothing sums it up better in a way Charlie intrinsically understands.Ā
It doesnāt matter how many people Charlie loves or has loved or will love. No one else is ever going to be Nick.Ā
He canāt honestly say that it comes as much of a surprise to him that Nick knows this because he feels it just the same.Ā
āCome here,ā Charlie murmurs, giving Nickās shoulders one more squeeze before parting enough to guide Nick to his bed. Nick settles himself in by the wall while Charlie collects Nickāsālikely coldācup of tea and places it next to his own, then picks up Nickās laptop and takes it with him to the bed.
The aimless anxiety that had clawed through him since waking settles some as he settles into Nickās side and an arm comes over his shoulders. It means he only has to take one steadying breath as he braces Nickās laptop on his own knee and gets a glimpse of the various tabs, and the open application site.Ā
āIām going to sit right here,ā Charlie announces, āand weāre going to work on this together. Because thatās what itās going to be like later.ā He nudges the laptop onto Nickās knees and snuggles closer, wrapping both his arms around Nickās. āIām going to be right here, and any time Iām struggling or you are, weāll work it out together.ā
When heās met with silence, he tilts his head up to find Nickās lopsided smile making his eyes miles brighter and softer than they had been all day. āAre you sure?āĀ
In answer, Charlie presses his lips to Nickās shoulder. āIām sorry I never thought about how hard it was for you when I was away. Iām sorry I got bratty because I was feeling shit and I didnāt realise you were, too.ā
Thereās a weight against his head, a kiss pressed to his curls. Instead of enforcing their s-word rule, Nick says, āIām sorry I didnāt tell you. About either.ā
Charlie skims over Nickās wrist and eventually finds his hand; Nick laces their fingers together. āI meant it, you know. Iāll always support you. And that means I can be there for you as much as you are for me, when youāll let me. I love you more than anything in the world, Nick.ā
āI know,ā Nick murmurs, squeezing Charlieās hand tight. āI love you too.ā With a sigh, he lifts his head from Charlieās and steadies his laptop with his free right hand; the rest of them parts no further. āRight then. Where to next?ā
