dicked and ditched the wrong person; cursed to remain youthful until true loveās kiss, at which point he will start to age rapidly :(((
dick too good to die - heās slept with quite a few gods/goddesses and they wanna keep him in prime shape
unknowingly stumbled on a fountain of youth when he was wandering through some woods one day; he has no idea and never thinks to connect his suspiciously youthful looks with that lovely bath that one time
is the personification of chaos just here for a gr8 time; this greatly pisses yennefer off when she finds out
heās like a shark - if he stops moving heāll die; canāt stay in one place for more than a few months before he starts looking a little ragged
only has one very specific weakness that no one has figured out yet
emotional vampire
made a deal with death where they meet up once a year and jaskier has to entertain them with stories and hot goss for the entire night to renew his life subscription
actually a grim reaper
simply refuses to acknowledge the authority of time
body took a screenshot when he sneezed with his eyes open once - heās actually died many times but he just keeps returning to that biological save point
he is the Beginning of all things and he will be their End when he gets bored please keep him enriched
as long as thereās one person still singing his songs he keeps on kicking
heās eaten so many aƧaĆ berries. so. many. all the berries. his immune system is jacked. any form of disease or deterioration even looks at him funny and theyāre immediately consumed by antioxidants
imaginary friend geralt accidentally called into being because he was so lonely :(
blood of his enemies face masks
exchanged his self-preservation instincts for immortality; when he fills up his āalmost died againā punch card the universe gives him a free smoothie and ages him one month; the smoothie is worth it
literally gave away his heart in a small posada inn
cheated in a game of cards against the fates and buried his thread of life deep where no one will find it
destinyās pawn that keeps trying to circumvent her plans and break free but everything he does is like a self-fulfilling prophecy straight from a greek tragedy :(
is actually ebony darkāness dementia raven way and everybody is in love with me and why couldnāt satan have made me less beautiful?? im good at too many things! WHY CANT I JUST BE NORMAL? ITāS A FUCKING CURSE!
Aziraphaleās Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheenās Morality
Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.
Iāve had time to process Aziraphaleās choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphaleās character. I think what happened was also Aziraphaleās own conscious choiceāāas a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.
Since November 2022 Iāve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,
We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. Itās sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and āoh itās nice.ā And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the lightā¦. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think thatās a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.
I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think thatās what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphaleās story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed thatāātruly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.
Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didnāt understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)
Thatās why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.
Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.
But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.
And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.
I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didnāt, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)
But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasnāt influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasnāt a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.
Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something heās very good at it).
Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heavenās armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.
(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)
At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didnāt have Godās ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He canāt take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. Thatās why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Jobās children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldnāt get through to God, and heās not going through that again.
āWe could make a difference.ā We could save everyone.
Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing goodāāand having to ālook the dark in the face to be truly good.ā Thatās what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. Thatās what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lionās Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.
Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphaleās change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphaleās courage.
But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they donāt need Heaven. And heās right. Aziraphale knows heās right.
Aziraphale doesnāt need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just donāt know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)
Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.
Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, thatās exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. āYouāre exactly is different from my exactly.ā
____
In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.
Sheen: āI felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] ā which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.ā In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.
Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.
And thatās why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldnāt understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.
And heās still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.
So there's a lot to unpack here but I want to start by talking about the ending and specifically about the Metatron and the calculating moves made at the end of episode 6.
Every single piece of what happened there was a manipulation technique being employed against Aziraphale to an almost brilliant degree and I'm honestly a little obsessed with what this says about the Metatron in particular.
Let's go in order.
First of all. We see him order coffee. In a human body. Something sweet and sugary. He talks to Nina and asks her about her shop name. Does anyone ever ask for death? And when she tells him no they don't his response is to say "so predictable". Our introduction to him here even when everything about him reads like a sweet old man is presented to show us someone who reads the world in terms of being predictable to him.
He then shows up in the middle of Aziraphale's existence being threatened. He immediately cuts down the threat's authority (using outdated language like Az himself would favor) and reemphasizes his own connection to Heaven. When Michael doesn't recognize him and he puts her down and then directly engages Crowley. Crowley who, to Aziraphale, has for centuries at a minimum been someone he thinks is smarter, better, more Good than these other archangels. The Metatron validates these beliefs. Crowley is more Heavenly than these archangels who couldn't even recognize the voice of God when he was standing right in front of them.
The Metatron draws attention to the fact he's in a human body. The kind of body Aziraphale has been in and loved for nearly 6000 years. He then banishes the archangels, implying their morality is in a gray space, and validates Muriel someone we have seen Aziraphale react positively to and someone outside the current power structure. Look at me, he's saying. I see and validate the little guy.
He then tries to talk to Aziraphale. Aziraphale says "I've made my position quite clear." And then the Metatron offers Aziraphale the coffee. This bartering chip, consuming sustenance, is a thing that Aziraphale and Crowley have used as their connective tissue for centuries. It's an olive branch for them. It's giving Aziraphale bodily pleasure and the Metatron implies that he himself has partaken also - a thing we know that Aziraphale has struggled historically with moralizing. He is seen by the closest thing he has left to his parent and he is having old fears validated as safe and old habits being played upon to make him feel secure
He then REMOVES Aziraphale from his home turf. Not only does he remove Crowley from the equation but he takes Aziraphale from the place that has stood as a place of sanctuary throughout the entirety of the season. The shop is Safe and Aziraphale is leaving it and he is leaving the one person who might be able to smell the bullshit coming from the Metatron. The music notably turns absolutely dire here.
The next time we see them the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he doesn't need to answer instantly. He can take his time, if he likes. All the time he needs. And then tells him to go tell Crowley. Once again bringing Crowley in as a valid part of this while manufacturing a scenario where he can't possibly be.
Az ends up in a place where he's overwhelmed and confused and he wants so badly to believe what he's being told. It's an appealing thing from his perspective! He feels off kilter like he's made a mistake in judging the Metatron. He can't even fully articulate what happened to Crowley at first and he's had absolutely no real time to actually think it through. He's running on sheer reactive energy.
The Metatron starts their conversation by asking Aziraphale's opinion. Who should rule Heaven? This is once again playing into making Az feel validated and like he's a part of this decision making process. The Metatron corrects him, complimenting Aziraphale and making him feel capable and in control. He reassures Aziraphale's bafflement. And draws attention to some traits that, while true of Aziraphale around Crowley, are not his defining traits in the eyes of Heaven. You don't just tell people what they want to hear I find particularly notable in this regard given Aziraphale spent most of his time on earth actively lying to Heaven and doing just that. But it fits into the narrative Aziraphale has built around himself, especially post Apocalypse. The Metatron then says I need you (a phrase Az will use much more painfully here in a minute).
And even after all this Aziraphale says no. He says flat out he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He says this!!! And then the Metatron sweetens the pot. He swaps tactics. Not once has this come up until Aziraphale pushes back against the idea. If the Metatron could've gotten him without using it I have no doubt he wouldn't have bothered with it. Come to Heaven and we can save Crowley. Aziraphale loves Crowley. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is better than any of the angels he's interacted with. Crowley is Good and Nice and Kind and always saving him and now he's being presented with a way to return that. He can Forgive Crowley - a thing Crowley has always presented to Aziraphale as something he struggles with. All of these things Aziraphale has watched Crowley react to in a way that belittles himself or distances them from one another. Of course he wouldn't consider that maybe what he was actually saying is "I'm unforgivable and I don't want that forgiveness."
The Metatron offers Aziraphale a Dream Offer for the pre Armageddon Aziraphale. You can keep your Crowley. You can heal him like you have always thought he deserved. You can have power and control the people who for your whole existence has beaten you down. It can go back to how it was but BETTER.
When Aziraphale leaves he still hasn't answered. He goes and has the conversation they have. It's intense and emotional and the Metatron comes in after the Moment all casual and asks how it goes, knowing fully well the shitstorm he had just set up to get created. And then he turns around and says "always did want to go his own way" which is not only true of Crowley but framed as a bad thing despite the fact that he has just spent twenty minutes or so telling Aziraphale that he's done his own thing and that is Good. He is playing both sides of this perspective as it suits him. And then he cuts down Crowley asking questions, pressuring Aziraphale to avoid doing the same. He then proceeds to ask Aziraphale not if he's made up his mind but if he's ready to get started. He is one by one closing off exit routes to this thing as Aziraphale starts to look more and more panicked and indecisive. He makes sure the bookshop is in good hands and asks Aziraphale if there's anything he needs to take with him. Letting Aziraphale have the illusion of choice while cutting down "I don't want to" as an option altogether.
And Az, as soon as the Metatron is out of shot, tries to express this. And then he falls back right on old coping methods. The Metatron pats him on the head. Reassures that he's the right one for this. That he is Good. That his particular skillset is needed here.
It is a masterstroke of manipulation. A very dark twist on what we see Crowley do time and time again with Aziraphale throughout the millennia. Familiar in a way that makes Aziraphale feel safe. Except this time this is being used to put him back in line. It's brilliant and painful and it fucking hurt and I need a season 3 to see the Metatron get what's coming to him stat.
Donāt get me wrong, I love all the āimmortal Jaskierā theories but honestly credit to Joey Batey because even thought Jaskier doesnāt appear to physically age, thereās so much about his behaviour in every scene that makes me feel how old heās meant to be.
Heās energetic and naive and cocky when he first meets Geralt. All of that energy and curiosity is still with him at the betrothal feast but itās more controlled, deliberate and self-aware in a way he wasnāt before. Then, when we see him just before Geralt finds the djinn, heās not only more reserved (which, sure, heās had his heart broken so that makes sense) but heās also more mature in how he interacts with Geralt. His ātalk to meā shows genuine concern and thereās nothing teasing about it. Itās only afterwards, once he knows what Geralt is doing and realises/decides the witcher is being ridiculous, that he returns to that sort of behaviour. And even after heās been cursed and cured, his interactions with Yennefer and Geralt are still tempered by that maturity.
And then the dragon quest.
Yenneferās comment about Jaskierās ācrowās feetā might a be intended to convey his aging but the way Joey plays his reaction to the comment is far more effective. Think of the difference between āYeah, well, youāre jokes areā¦oldā and āYou donāt want to keep a man withā¦bread in his pants waitingā. In both cases heās trying to be witty in an attempt to break the tension. And while in the first instance Geralt hadnāt insulted him, the sense of discomfort is comparable. In response to Yenneferās comment, a younger Jaskier would have been annoyed by his own inability to come up with a witty reply. But thatās not how it plays out. Instead his tone is sad, deflated. His joke doesnāt land but he doesnāt care. Thatās not what itās about.
Then, thereās his asking Geralt to go to the coast. When they first met, Jaskier was drawn to Geralt by his desire for adventure. That man wouldnāt have tried to convince the witcher toĀ āget away for a while,ā he would said something about how there are other monsters to slay, more people to help, other adventures to be had. And, true, this also speaks to how their relationship has changed and Jaskier has come to see Geralt as more than just his abilities.Ā But it also speaks of growth - the kind that only comes with experience. The desire for peace and the understanding that life canāt always be danger and adventure and excitement.
And then, when Geralt turns on him, blames him for everything and tell him he wants him gone, Jaskier doesnāt engage. He saysĀ āthatās not fairā (soft and heartbroken) but thatās it. Thereās no fighting, no yelling, no accusations or corrections. He takes it and he walks away. That energy, the one that used to bleed into every word and movement, the one he learned to control and channel where he wanted it, disappears. When he says his goodbye and leaves heās deflated and heartbroken but, notably, not exhausted. Heās learned when thereās nothing words can do, when something isnāt worth the effort, and (most importantly) when he deserves more than what heās given.Ā And walking away hurts like hell, we see that so clearly in Joeyās performance (here and in season 2), but itās also such an important show of his strength and maturity. No argument, no begging to be taken along, no jokes or snark, just acknowledgement and retreat.Ā
This got longer than I expected and thereās still so many other things I could point out but you get the idea. Despite his lack ofĀ āaging,ā itās so clear that we really are seeing Jaskier over years, decades even, of his life and thatās not an easy thing to show. So shout out to Joey Batey and his excellent performance.
Jaskier being a centuries old immortal is so funny to me, because like think about his first episode. Jaskier is hit by a tiny metal ball, and is instantly knocked out. Would a thrown metal marble be enough to actually knock anyone out? Probably not. But immortal Jaskier is just like, shit I've been hit in the head. Does that kill humans? Well I don't want to act dead so I'll just act asleep. How long should I go for? Oh great now the Witcher is unconscious too. And there's some elves taking us somewhere. Well it would be awkward if I woke up now, so I'll just let them kidnap me, and tie me up. The Witcher still isn't awake, should I wait for him to wake up before I wake up because humans are weaker than Witchers? Nah fuck it I'm bored, and I got a joke to say
āBard? Are you eating feainnewedd?ā asked Vesemir.
- Iām, indeed. Iāve been eating these flowers since I was a child. I found them behind Lettenhoveās Manor. My ancestors tried to burn every flowers but they kept coming, in even more numbers. So they decided that maybe a forest would smother them. The forest became eerie. I think the first time I entered it was after my family boasted about the cleansing. I met a very pretty elf there. She offered me the flowers to eat and I have since.
- She could have killed you, Jaskier" added the White Wolf.
āNah. She was kind but sad. Poor Lara, she died and her baby was stolenā¦ Lettenhove is the human word but it was Loa'then A'vean, which mean "our rageā. Quite fitting, if I say so. She said Iāve the means to right the wrong she did when dying.I never understood what she meant.ā
Triss and Yen looked at the bard, then at each other. They thought the same thing. Lara regretted her curse and she put this silly human on a mission: to make sure that Ciri unit humans and elves, like Laraās baby should have.
Geralt x Dandelion (Jaskier) in The Witcher books Masterpost
I thought I would make a masterpost for my "I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon" (otherwise known as..."facts that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up but are, in fact, book canon") series.
I will add to this post, so rb it and keep an eye on it. I have at least one more big post coming up.
Geralt rescuing Dandelion from kidnappers (and slaughtering and threatening a bunch of people for him)
Geralt plays it cool, but secretly loves Dandelion's singing
Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (sharing beds and clothing)
Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (pooling money and Dandelion bullying racists)
Geralt is Dandelion's specialest boy (Dandelion defending Geralt)
Dandelion is Geralt's Most Important Damsel (Geralt defending Dandelion)
Geralt and Dandelion patching up each other's wounds
Geralt learning Dandelion's real name
Sweet quiet moment of Geralt asking Dandelion's advice (and Dandy begging him not to kill a dragon)
A doppler turns into Dandelion to protect itself from Geralt and it gets more interesting from there.
So the tag is I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon, and I also do a series called Canon or Fanon in response to asks. But since the tag system on tumblr isn't great, there are the biggies. Just thought I'd make it a little easier on you guys.
Ok ok but generally the elements in tad songs are fascinating. There's such a big water theme (the boats in King, the pirate thing in Not Yet/Love Run, the ocean in Chords, the rain and the river in The Calling,...)
But then we also have a lot of fire (the lighter in Secret Worlds, the New York Torch Song, burning the theaters in Ruin,...)
I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't think I have a point but I just need to scream about the water/fire thing
*Opens Google Doc of all TAD lyrics* LET'S GO
Based on some keyword searches, here are my findings:
Water/Ocean:
King, Not Yet, Welly Boots, Battle Cries (briefly -- we sunk into water no creature can know... out of the depths came an army) Chords, Inkpot Gods
Fire:
King, New York Torch Song, Wild Blue Yonder, Secret Worlds, The Calling (a little bit, possibly just as a follow-up to Secret Worlds), The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace (at the beginning), Ruin
Air/Sky:
King (briefly), Elsa's Song, Two Mintues, The Rockrose and the Thistle, The Calling, Blossoms (briefly)
Land/Earth:
Love Run, The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace, Ruin
Plants and animals:
King, Elsa's Song, The Rockrose and the Thistle, Secret Worlds, The Calling, Inkpot Gods, Ruin (if you count the birds in the background)
I have no idea what any of this means, but it sure is fascinating!
It just occurred to me that Not Yet is focused on water (sing me awake with a song about pirates) while Love Run is focused on land (let the land come at you love / with all its sand and sin a-singing). It's also interesting that King has such strong associations with both water and fire!
Knowing whether or not a person identifies as asexual, gray-asexual, demisexual, or anything else doesnāt tell you how they feel about having sex. It also doesnāt tell you anything about what they think about other people having sex!
There are a lot of words that are used to describe peopleās attitudes towards sex. Sex-repulsed, averse, indifferent, and favorable are all used within the ace community to describe oneās own feelings about personally engaging in sex or sexual situations. These words can be very fluidāsome people may use one word to describe themselves in one situation, and a different one in another.
Sex-positive, neutral, and negative are words used beyond just the ace community that communicate a personās political leanings when it comes to sex. In short, they describe how people feel about other people having sex.
Learn more about one of these words by clicking the links below, or click the read more below to learn about all of them!
Hereās a WIP that I decided to share because Iām not sure if Iām gonna finish it or not. With the Ahsoka series and the Tales of Jedi coming, it appears weāre going to be stuck with short adult togruta montrals as canon. So I wanted to make a chart comparing a bunch of different female adult montrals just to see the variation and differences.Ā
Headcanon: Ahsoka actually met Ezra when he was younger. Ahsoka heard of the Bridger transmissions and decided to meet the Bridgers and the day she met them, she saw Ezra and knew he was force sensitive right away. She promised Mira and Ephraim that she would protect him in the future and she until this day still does so that's why in Rebel Resolve she focuses on keeping Ezra safe.
the horror and the wild is just The Song of All Time, man, i don't make the rules. is there any way to express your love for someone that's as powerful as "think of all the horrors that i promised you i'd bring" or "fret not, dear heart, let not them hear the mutterings of all your fears"?? the tenderness of "'remember me,' i ask, 'remember me,' i sing"???
I love the cuteagens! Maybe cuteagens staring Eskel and Letho?
The fire crackled between them, the discarded skin of the trout they had consumed half an hour before curling in the flames, and Letho tasted the air. He wasn't sure what possessed him in the moment. Around others, he masked his impulses carefully, because they provided too much of an insight into his relative strengths and potential weaknesses. But with Eskel sitting opposite, illuminated in the flickering amber of the firelight, his body a little dirty, a little travelled, with pheromones and sweat lingering in the linen of his open-necked shirt, Letho found it difficult to control himself.
His tongue lacked tastebuds or scent receptors, but it did collect chemicals from the air for him to press against the roof of his mouth, and it was here that his brain could process the taste of the world around him. Earthy salt from the remains of the fish and the damp soil, the rich tang of mineral oils Eskel was using to coat his steel blade after their successful arachas hunt, and a unique, spicy perfume that was uniquely Eskel. He tasted different to Geralt; Geralt was horse hair, arenaria and bitter on the tongue; Eskel was treated leather, deep, musky, something to be savoured. It was that aroma that had drawn Letho's eye in the tavern where they'd met that morning, and now it made his serpentine eyes flicker closed for a fraction of a second, so he could--
"Everythin' a'right?" asked Eskel in his usual, laidback drawl.
Letho opened his eyes slowly. "Nothin' amiss."
"Just... you licked the air."
"Salt on my lips."
"N'aww," Eskel said, his scarred lips quirking up at the corner. Couldn't get much past this sharp-eyed blood hound. "You licked the air. Seen you do it a few times before, now I come to think of it. Thought I was just seeing things."
Hmm. Letho had not been as discreet as he'd first thought. He considered his options. A continued lie wouldn't earn much more than a dismissive snort from the wolf, further confirming Eskel's belief that Letho hid more than he shared, which meant he was untrustworthy, or he could share this one little tidbit. A tiny sliver of trust in a witcher that had walked the Path as long as he had. Eskel had his own code based on honour, neutrality and avoidance of conflict. The threat was relatively minor and, Letho reasoned, if Eskel knew, then he could taste Eskel more often. Even if only on the air around him.
"I smell things that way."
"Huh." Eskel appeared to consider the information. It would go one of two ways. He would either judge it not sufficiently interesting and continue tending to the sword across his lap or, more likely, he would want to investigate. That was one thing Eskel and Geralt had in common, by Letho's evaluation. Curiosity. But whereas Geralt's extended to politics and people, Eskel's was purely based in the natural world. Couldn't show him an odd looking mushroom without him snaffling it off for a little analysis. If pressed, Letho would admit it to be somewhat endearing. "How's that work then?"
Those deep amber eyes, so much richer in colour than Letho's own, widened a little, trained on Letho's mouth. Letho let his tongue poke out again, topping up the taste of Eskel against the roof of his mouth. "There's a vomeronasal organ in the roof of my mouth. Works through chemoreception, which is--"
"I know what chemoreception is," Eskel huffed, putting his sword aside to roll onto his knees. "Same way basilisks and slyzards smell. Never considered you'd've been given mutagens from those sources. Makes sense though, biggest vipers outside the ones in the grass, although I always figured you'd have had more wyvern, an'--" Eskel was shuffling over but hesitated when Letho raised an eyebrow. Eskel's propriety caught up with him, and he sat back on his heels with a quiet rumble, a chastened hound whose nose had wandered too close to the dinner plate, "can I look?"
Eskel looking meant he got closer, and now that Letho had conceded a little, he wanted to concede more, just to see where it led. It was a slippery slope, and he could hear Ivar's lecture about the duplicitous nature of other schools droning in the back of his head. They were a distraction from the mission, blind to the real purpose of the order. Letho packaged him away in the recesses of his memory and focused on the broadness of Eskel's face.
Hillfolk, Letho recalled. The witch had said as much during one of her many pontifications. As much of a pain in his arse as she had been, Yennefer had provided lots of intelligence on the nature of the wolf school. Letho traced Eskel's wide brow and nose with his eyes; his fingers itched to follow their path, but he kept them resolutely on his thighs as his mouth dropped open for Eskel's inspection.
"Minor warping of the palate, but not much," Eskel murmured, leaning in closer. Letho couldn't hide his body's reaction. His skin crackled like it had been touched by lightning, and the smell of Eskel's made his head light. His palm left his thigh and cupped beneath Eskel's chin to pull him away, but only far enough to meet his eyes. The deepest gold Letho had ever seen, richer than Toussaintese honey. Eskel grimaced, "Got somethin' to say?" Eskel's fingers tightened around Letho's wrist in mild warning.
It was then that Letho realised what he'd done. Lifted a wolf's head to expose his throat. But Eskel hadn't bitten back, hadn't shoved him away; his pupils were blown wide, two black suns highlighted in liquid amber. Letho tilted his own head, tongue darting briefly between his lips. Arousal. And not just his own. Eskel had intended this to happen. "You're playing a dangerous game," Letho said.
"Only play games when the odds are in my favour," Eskel replied, keeping his gaze steady. Letho tested, slipping his hand a little lower to the hinge of Eskel's jaw. He saw the flicker of appreciation even if Eskel tried to keep his gaze level. Eskel pushed against Letho's palm. "Your move."
Letho considered his options, measured the disadvantages of revealing this little crack in his facade, and pulled Eskel towards him. Letho made the wolf arch, stretching him off balance to keep the game in his favour, and brought their lips together. Eskel tasted just as Letho expected; like the divine come to earth. The scent of him washed through Letho's body like a tide, consuming his every sense, leaving quivering eagerness in its wake.
When the wolf let out a little whine, a trill of pleasure followed by a slump on his posture, Letho crowded him to the ground. He slipped a hand into that awful fucking haircut to force Eskel's head back, and licked a long stripe up his exposed throat. Eskel arched against him, strong hands gripping hard at Letho's shoulders. "If I'd known you were so eager to show me your belly, dog," Letho growled. "I'd'a offered sooner."
"Shut up and fuck me," Eskel snarled, or tried, his voice broke around the moan Letho forced from him with a sucking bite at the hinge of his jaw.
Letho smirked, teeth somehow sharper in the dying firelight. "Gladly."
OF COURSE Jaskier would fuck his own clone. OF COURSE he would. Like. Here are a few of the man's most relevant (to this question) defining characteristics:
Lust for life and adventure, including new sensations, and novel experiences. This is what initially gets him on the road with Geralt, despite his love for comfort and luxury.
Insatiable curiousity. The absolute life threatening, insane situations he gets himself into out of just plain old sheer curiosity is astounding.
Ho-ishness. Harlotry. He is literally charged with harlotry at one point in a legal proceedings. The man is a slut. *plays Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado ft Timbaland*
Vanity. Mans is always lookin his best. Geralt's like...Dandelion, look at my new outfit! Dandelion is like *sniff* not really up with the fashions are you? He's that bitch. He's pretty and he knows it and he shows it off. (of course he borrows the jacket later, so what is the truth here, Dandelion??)
If you add these up and do not get "would absolutely fuck a clone of himself" in the eternal question of "would this character fuck a clone of themself", you are choosing a position that is very difficult to defend.
