Arlaune

I'm mostly here to look at art and read headcanons. I might throw some of my story ideas for whatever fandom I'm obsessed with at the moment.

[akikkobara]

Don't look back. And don't run. You must never run from anything immortal. It attracts their attention.

[kushblazer666]

[casualfruit]

[the-hawks-rye]

ID 1: two tweets from “young rich and tasteless” (@year3008) reading: “mpreg fics forget abortion exists / like kill that thing patrick”.

ID 2: screenshot of 3 tumblr tags. user mytestosteroneromance said "stump?" in all caps with 6 question marks, user shephoun said "bateman?" and user redhotarsenic said "star?" with 4 question marks

[is-this-mpreg-joke-funny]

This Mpreg joke is: Funny!

It is less so a joke about mpreg, but a joke about the conventions of works fetishizing it.

Additionally, the joke relies on who 'Patrick' could be. Especially important is Patrick star, as starfish are not mammals and therfor cannot get pregnant.

Instead, starfish typically reproduce through releasing sex cells into the water, which can then fertilize with those of other starfish

[draconym]

I'm at a convention for the game of Go with a friend who is almost 84 years old, and he is constantly being accosted by elementary schoolers who want to play him because every year there is a prize for whoever plays a game with the biggest age difference between players.

So every time I go to look for him, I see this:

[draconym]

People in the tags pointing out that this is a great way to get communities to interact: you are extremely correct. There were a lot of kids at this year's go congress (many of them extremely strong players) and it's very funny to watch them roving in packs looking for old people to challenge. At one point when my friends and I were sitting in one of the side rooms, a trio of elementary schoolers marched in and shouted "IS ANYONE HERE OVER FIFTY?"

Presumably so that they could compete for the Elder Slayer award:

[etirabys]

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

[argumate]

hello, fellow apes

[spitoutthedaisyhoratio]

The lead up to that sentence is gold:

[consistantly-changing]

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

[roach-works]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

[obeliskthetormentorsfeetpics]

Addition approved

[ariesrin]

I love characters who would die for each other but will not, under any circumstances, communicate a single honest feeling.

[the-rebellious-one]

[jackhawksmoor]

[Batfam member finds out Tim Drake figured out Bruce Wayne was Batman because Dick Grayson Robin did a quadruple somersault]

Batfam: lol Dick only did that because he is so extra

Me [vibrating]: trapeze artists tried unsuccessfully to nail the quadruple for 70 years because the flyer picks up enough velocity on the spins that they reach 80 miles an hour and hit with so much force it can dislocate the shoulders of the person trying to catch him and rip the skin off their hands in big flaps 

the flyer would hit so hard the people attempting it would box and slap their hands against wooden blocks to toughen their skin and hitting a quadruple in the air magnified the power behind tiny nine-year-old Dick’s strikes to the point where it could have probably stunned a metahuman and this was probably a large reason behind his ability to be a crimefighter at an earlier age than any other person in the DC universe and in this essay I will

[river9noble]

How dare you leave the emoji somersaults of doom in the tags

[fluorescentbrains]

this lab safety training module is sending me

[fluorescentbrains]

I feel like whoever wrote these questions was speaking from experience

[only-cat-memes]

[gobigorgoextinct]

Steve Irwin in a Jaeger would be entertaining.

Look over there. There’s a Catergory 3 Kaiju. Biggest one yet. 

Ah’m gonna wrassle with it. 

[owl-recluse-deactivated20150626]

#yeah but who’s his drift partner. a crocodile. just a crocodile. its not a special or humanoid croc its literally just a croc strapped in.

[lledra]

[frauleinninja]

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE REBLOGGED THIS BUT I DON’T CARE BECAUSE IT HAS IMPROVED EVERY TIME

[mothnem]

Croc Brain: Bite and death roll.

Steve Irwin: Bite and death roll it is mate!

[chaosfetti]

Oh to be a little chimecho blowing in the wind

[leaff0dil]

There goes my babyyy….

+ Zoro and Sanji doodle crumbs

[yorgen-sh]

The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes

[scarlettohairdye]

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

[teaboot]

This is Peak Yuri media and I hope my beautiful feral daughters love each other forever

[lenacraft]

The action movie heels made real

[nicoyarobin]

Monkey D. Luffy + taps (& boops)

[loish]

This one started as a drawing in my sketchbook, and then she blossomed into a digital painting 🌸 Still on my lifelong quest to paint the roundest, chunkiest, most squishable roses.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[catboygirljoker]

(via orc-sign-language)

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[thememedaddy]

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

also-

[ancient-string]

And also

[llamagoddessofficial]

It sure would be a crazy shame if you right clicked on the page, went to inspect, used Ctrl + Shift + C to select an element on the page, then pressed the three dots next to the highlighted element and deleted the element. Especially if the element you were highlighting was, say, an annoying ad covering your view. Or an overlay asking you to sign in before looking at something. That would really suck.