Revenge of the Jewfro

he/him • 25 • queer • no minors pls

[casualfruit]

orang3lover —> casualfruit

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you get a breath weapon like a dragon, and the options go from fire to things like gravel or bees

you have this breath weapon! (also you're a dragon)

are you happy with it?

yes!!!!!

a little

it's okay I guess

no.

NO.

result/other

Remaining time: 5 days 10 hours

[hangsawoman]

shirley jackson casually asking the pharmacist how much arsenic would be necessary to kill a family

from on fans and fanmail, a lecture by shirley jackson

[lotad]

handjobs are fuckin lame i can do that myself

[therealhamster]

you can scratch your own damn back but that doesnt mean it feels the same yo

[lotad]

i honestly tried to think of a witty response but i cannot damn that is a very valid point

[nintendads-deactivated20140116]

this is the most civil ending to an argument i have ever witnessed on the internet

[joshlovesyou]

[salmonballer]

a masterlock? bro you are practically free-use

[pancakeke]

*bashes it with another master lock*

[ellynneversweet]

1,372 votes and 251 comments so far on Reddit

Go cheer yourselves up, ladies. The comments are absolutely inspired.

[ruimtetijd]

[evilsoup]

Jesus Christ

[initiala]

As much as I think it would be fun to have emotive anthropomorphic ears, I also recognize I can barely control my facial expressions. Like hell can I keep from Angry Ears-ing during meetings

[initiala]

This is who you’re having a meeting with, by the way.

[lesslaivyy]

[vitchuatlocalhost-deactivated20]

[senatortedcruz]

Wonderful photo

[poobletoods]

i am no longer fucking asking

[poobletoods]

for all your no longer fucking asking needs

[geyfrog]

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

[mxsentienthouseplant]

Spoiler alert: adulthood is 96% of you going “well, I hope this is how it works and I’ll keep doing it till someone yells at me”

[battlships]

and the other 4% is crying 

[bakasara]

I like these posts because you read them as a teenager and you think, ‘surely these people are blowing it out of proportion’

AND THEN YOU REACH ADULTHOOD

[junior-theabgshark]

[paranormal-taters]

[nitw]

*jumps up and down waving my hands and yelling in a crowd* DISCORD WAS NEVER MEANT TO REPLACE FORUMS AND WIKIS!!! IT'S JUST EMBELLISHED CHATROOMS WITH MULTIPLAYER GAMING FEATURES AND LOOTBOXES AND SHIT!!! PLEASE PUT FAQS AND MESSAGE BOARDS OR AT LEAST A DIRECT EMAIL-BASED SUPPORT SYSTEM ON YOUR WEBSITE!!! 1GB NEOCITIES DOMAIN ZERO DOLLARS

[comegetyoursister]

BOYS. DONT. KNOW. THIS.

[audible-smiles]

When people get a little too gung-ho about-

wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?

ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.

That’s…wild. What was I talking about?