Random thoughts of the moment

I am a 22year old girl from Sydney, Australia, who is pretty awesome...just saying

[gardenstatetait]

government wants trans people to detransition so here’s them chasing me to hot glue my bazoinkers back on

[twerklina]

[its-the-blob]

oh my sinuses are like this because the horse plinko is in them

[elodieunderglass]

thank you @downtostars ! It's common for postnasal drip to give you a sore throat - this can make you sound a little horse

[spoekelse]

Value Pack

[ansitru]

I'm just saying, we could settle this with swords, instead of 30+ emails. 🤺

[swedishjazz]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[thememedaddy]

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

[foxgirlmindcrank]

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

[conspiracydeerist]

[blu3str1k3]

[aanxii]

Teeth of the Valley

[xenosaurus]

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

[thelittleblackfox]

Also drink water and eat a plant

[liz-squids]

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

keep on not working for startups

sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that's okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don't burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again

it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it'll be

related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you ... well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive

knees are bastards too

don't even get me started on ankles

there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I'm sorry

one day you're gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you

on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about

never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up

[covington-shenanigans]

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

"loving yourself" is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on

this will happen incrementally - be patient

along those lines, if you haven't started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it

no, shut up. do it. "but it's haaaaard!" don't care. do it.

whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup

stretch regularly - your future self will thank you

at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced

this will be infuriating and annoying

otoh, most other things just... will not matter to you as much

at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like "eh" and deciding to stay in. this is okay.

you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care

but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you'll never be irrelevant

your company still doesn't love you - don't give them more than they pay you for

get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine

[atlinmerrick]

Just turned 60 and let me say:

Find joy, every kind, it's always worth it

I'm talking that massive, never-ending Discord chat with your bestie? The one that makes you giggle through the day? It's not a "waste of time," it's what time was made for

If that's fanfic for your favorite characters who never even met on screen celebrate that!

If that's building a tiny fleet of snake villagers for your snake town and they just cover your mantel hell yes!

If that's collecting pillows and making a fort of them every weekend I'll be right over

Feeling and sharing joy is the whole point

[cricketcat9]

This is too tempting…, so, I’m 74, and: don’t fund startups

Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.

Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼

Enjoy that fucking hobby you’ve acquired in your 50, or find something new. Do try new things & adventures.

[shittymoviedetails]

me browsing Tumblr after trump cured autism

[maximumzombiecreator]

The nurse who prescribes my HRT is great, zero complaints, but he can put the ball a little too in-my-court. In my most recent checkup we were talking about adjusting my dose, and he asked what dosage I wanted, and like, that's not a question I am qualified to answer, my guy.

So I said, "My ideal dose is basically that I'm holding an erlenmeyer flask of pure estrogen and someone offscreen yells, 'Doctor, you can't!' and I say, 'Just watch me!' and then I drink it and contort violently around and then fall out of frame and when I pop back into frame I'm played by Anne Hathaway."

And he didn't give me that dose but he did up it, so, like I said, zero complaints.

[penandinkprincess]

i would love to go to bed early each night and get a full eight to nine hours, but that simply isn't realistic for the modern woman

the amount of time i have to spend doing absolutely nothing on the internet and delaying going to bed for no good reason is absolutely staggering

my schedule is BOOKED

[catboybreeder]

when your friend starts some drama and says “a little bird told me…” and you know full well you’re the little bird

[kleefkruid]

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

[humandisastersquad]

[kinsey-the-saiyan-deactivated20]

I too am having a bad time at the conference

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you too are having a bad time at the conference

[alexaloraetheris]

It's them. My Dysfunctioning Executives.

[byjove]

2025 boyfriend: I have been DMing instagram models and purchasing their OnlyFans content with money from our shared bank account. Also, I am a high value redpilled male and you should work your ass off for crumbs of my affection.

Iron Age boyfriend: help girl they’re cutting my nipples off with a ceremonial knife and throwing my bound corpse into a bog

[byjove]

2025 boyfriend: Despite cheating on you and leeching off you for 6 months, I am going to have a screaming crying breakdown when you try to leave me and piss myself and get so very angry when you call my mom to come get me.

Iron Age boyfriend: the crops would not grow, they are saying I have displeased the gods, this is the only way to save the people, my blood will sate this land I have dishonored. also I have 6 parasites and 3 serious infectious diseases so I was going to go soon anyway I think.

[byjove]

I’d like to issue a public apology for not making it clear I have never had a boyfriend from the Iron Age and this post is a hypothetical creative work about the stark differences in quality of life and dating culture in 2025 and 2 thousand years ago in Iron Age Ireland. I am so sorry for not clarifying that and potentially spreading misinformation about the 6’6" Irish dreamboat that must have been the Old Croghan Man.

[myzornaccount]

Now I know you're lying. There's no way an Irish could be 6'6"

[byjove]

Rude. Also, the crazy height estimate on Old Croghan Man isn’t so bizarre within the context of other Iron Age Irish bog mummies. Cashel Man and Gallagh Man were also very tall for prehistoric humans. Not sure what was going on in Ireland but there were a lot of tall 20 something guys being thrown in bogs ritualistically for several thousand years.

[candydandyorsomething]

there’s no tall irish men anymore because they were all taken by The Bog

[byjove]

Hozier is 6'6" because he crawled out of the bog after being placed in there in the late Iron Age.

[elodieunderglass]

(They let him keep his nipples.)

[summergoodwife]

In seriousness is this because of the documented preservation bias that makes larger bodies more likely to last in some form over time?

[byjove]

In all seriousness, no. We know this because a large percentage of bog bodies found in mainland Europe are those of children, adolescents and women of small stature. The 3+ weirdly tall and robust young bog men of Ireland are actually fairly unique and have been the subject of a lot of speculation and anthropological study.

[penandinkprincess]

"Why must we Madonna/whore the vegetables?" is a phrase I just felt super glue itself in my lexicon immediately

[mephistopheles]

sorry im not done gatsbyposting. the nyc celebrations for its 100th anniversary are so uniquely deranged. like here you have a book that absolutely scathes new york parties & dress-up & entertainment & alcohol & careless wealthy east coast elites. and the way the city is celebrating the 100th anniversary of one of the most beautifully written & personally devastating literary tragedies this country has ever produced is by. offering 10% off gatsby-themed cocktails at luxury bars. hosting pay-to-attend 1920s themed costume balls in the wealthiest areas of midtown. setting up penthouse hotel suites to ostensibly resemble locations from the book. a few hours ago at an exclusive private event they had the cast of the glamorous broadway musical, all in designer clothes, light up the empire state building green to advertise their show where tickets cost up to $670. one of them said the green light ‘represents the beauty of the american dream.’ i think you could power all manhattan with energy generated from the rotational torque of f scott fitzgerald spinning wildly in his grave

[mephistopheles]

anyhow i celebrated this international holiday by leaving work early & dressing up & driving north five and a half miserable hours to see the empire state lit up green because this was a true once in a lifetime event & this book changed my life & i wanted to celebrate a character i loved and mourned & see a glittering green light shining on the water & reach for it like dreamers do. but even though all the websites and blogs i could find told me it would be green on the 11th—that it would blaze green all night on the 11th, and i triple checked each one—by the time i got there at 8:15 pm they’d turned it off. and the parties had happened thursday night, not friday. so i ended up alone & exhausted & rain-drenched & freezing & quite frankly absolutely crying my eyes out on the shore across from the city, just fucking stupidly sobbing above the water, wishing i could go back just a little way into the past. and THATS how you do gatsby. ill kill you all

[mephistopheles]

if you don’t reblog this post im gonna explode

[mephistopheles]