[Insert Title Here]

I'm a hot Mess™ they/them, mid 20s (icon by the lovely @honeysuckle-knight )

[c-a-k-e-deactivated20170914]

i hate those posts that are like “hes tall, handsome, funny… i didnt say a name but he popped into your head didnt he ? :)” like no? he didnt. who the fuck is he 

[katana-kind-blog]

he is here

[c-a-k-e-deactivated20170914]

oh!! hes everything hes been made out to be!!

[mizuthe-cat]

it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”

[crabussy]

senior/elderly nonbinary people. I adore you and you make the world a better place. whether you've known for multiple decades or you just found out last year. thank you for just Being. so much love from me.

[crabussy]

GAUGEHAHAH????

[gobusto]

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[fallout-lou-begas]

[yaoiblackmold]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[yaoiblackmold]

Im going to shoot you people with a fucking gun

[televisionenjoyer]

Everyone has an accent it came free with your language 🙄

[audliminal]

Congrats to every reply like this for failing to understand the fundamental definition of an accent. Of course you think you sound normal! It's the way you speak!

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

no worse feeling that going on some subculture fashion clothing website and seeing the size chart runs from extra small to petite to pequeño to microscopique. yeah here at DeathKillFuckShadow Fantastique Cloth Imaginations i think you’ll find that we see the world a bit difference… we have bleak brutal imaginations… what if blood and fangs were COOL… but we cannot in our most tortured imaginations picture a woman who has a stouter frame than the fucking Insulindian Phasmid

[prokopetz]

While mutual grooming operates within a social hierarchy in many mammals, domestic cats are unusual in that subordinate cats receive extra grooming from their superiors, rather than vice versa. It's been hypothesised that this behaviour reinscribes the group's hierarchy by having dominant cats "parent" their subordinates.

This, of course, implies that in fictional settings which ascribe the instincts of real animals to their anthropomorphic counterparts, catgirl BDSM may well involve heretofore unconceived-of innovations in mommy kink.

[gaytommykinard]

"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg

[calvinandhobbescomic]

[justadreaminghufflepuff]

This comic is genuinely how I remember which is which.

[galahadwilder]

D&D character idea: Wizard, but Chidi Anagonye

[artsekey]

“Is it more ethical to cast fireball at these goblins (of which there are twelve) OR let the goblins kill my three companions?? If we consider the utilitarian view, I should let the goblins win, but if I consider contractualism I did agree to adventure with these people and should protect them. But is any violence truly just? Must we enact harm to further our goals???”

Meanwhile Eleanor’s killed them already and Chidi’s actually a bard who confuses people with his long tirades on hypothetical ethics (he’s SURE he’s a wizard)

[fluffyblue-multifandommess]

#the good place#crying#chidi has studied so much magic. he has an entire spellbook. he understands the THEORY down to the exact consistency of chalk he needs#he has never (on purpose) cast a single spell in his life#he has no idea he is casting Confusion and giving inspiration almost constantly#(also: I think the others are up for debate but Jason is 10 000% a wild magic sorcerer)#(I think my pulls for the others would Eleanor as a rogue#almost certainly multiclassing with something. maybe she’s a roguelock and Michael is unintentionally her patron 😂#tahani……. hear me out. tahani is a barbarian#tahani is a barbarian who is DESPERATELY PRETENDING she’s a sorcerer or a wizard#depending on which of those is more respectable in the setting#through a feat or a subclass or something she can do like two cantrips#and she buys crazy expensive magic items that let her cast spells through them#but at the end of the day it is her simmering rage that her natural talents have NEVER BEEN ENOUGH#that really fuel her#and she so BADLY wants to kick someone’s head in about it) tags via @thatgirlonstage

[thatgirlonstage]

it would be very funny if michael was a paladin but im too tired to take the thought all the way (via @fluffyblue-multifandommess)

No no come back because I love this. I left Michael and Janet off initially because I feel like at the beginning of the series they're more akin to magical creatures/NPCs than PCs with classes BUT if you're willing to get a little homebrew-y with me, I could imagine them as the sort of NPCs that get adopted into the party and then taken over by new players added to the campaign between S1 and S2 (or like, maybe midway through S2 for Michael). So they have a bit of a funky homebrew build where they maintain some of their earlier innate abilities but lose some others and in Michael's case shift alignment.

But here's the thing: if Michael is accidentally Eleanor's warlock patron, then Eleanor is—equally accidentally—Michael's paladin oath. Not so literally and directly as he's her patron, but she's the thing he believes in. She's the source of his certainty that something in the system needs fixing, because if Eleanor Shellstrop can consistently, repeatedly make the decision to become a better person, then just about anyone can. They build each other up and make each other stronger and that is ABSOLUTELY resonant with their dynamic in the show in really fun ways.

Janet is the hardest to pin down for me. Spiritually I think she's the party cleric but that doesn't really match mechanically. Maybe she's something like a multiclassed cleric/artificer.

[pangur-and-grim]

length of a weasel…… face of a weasel…. heart? also of a weasel

[galactic-queen-of-bullshit]

Please please tell me this is a real cat and not an art doll

[pangur-and-grim]

I think it’s real, but I’m not really sure

[hylianengineer]

There is one very important thing I need people without major dietary restrictions to understand: the distress caused by allergies, celiac disease, and other food restrictions is largely not about the food.

Do I miss some foods I can't eat anymore without getting sick? Sure, but that's not what really bothers me. What bothers me is being excluded from a huge portion of human social life of which food is a crucial component. What bothers me is the stress and social stigma of trying to figure out what I can safely eat. What bothers me is the amount of extra work and cost that is required of me to identify, obtain, and prepare safe foods. What bothers me is people treating my needs like a nuisance, as though I chose to be like this - as though their brief inconvenience to check an ingredients list is unreasonable, when I deal with this every day of my life forever.

I don't miss the food that much. I miss not having to worry about what I eat. I miss freedom. I miss when trying new foods and new restaurants was fun instead of a minefield. I miss not having to plan my entire life around the need for safe foods.

Food is such a basic human need, and a lot of people don't really need to think about it. When your danger foods can be anywhere and everywhere, suddenly your entire life revolves around avoiding them, and it massively sucks. You get used to it and it's not a big deal most of the time, but then you go to a new restaurant, or your office has a potluck, or you've been invited to a party and suddenly it feels just as miserable and exhausting as it ever has.

[explodingsilver]

I've seen some posts trying to make fun of former gifted kids by comparing them to former student athletes who insist that they could have gone pro if not for a specific injury, and those posts always backfire, because my reaction to them is "You're right, we should treat former student athletes with more compassion than we currently do"

[self-loving-vampire]

I went from being very physically active to getting the "your body doesn't make energy properly anymore" disability so I can completely understand the grief that comes with circumstances outside your control destroying parts of you you were once proud of and locking you out of the life you could have had. It's not a good feeling.

[myjetpack]

my latest cartoon for New Scientist.

[elftwink]

can i say if you, like me, work and play On The Computer 90% of the time and you find yourself thinking "i gotta get outside more" the simplest and most effective way to do this with the highest success rate is not to try to change all your hobbies to be outdoorsy. it's to take computer outside.

[mothric]

thinking about the time a former housemate said to me "hey I put these box fans in the living room because it's hot" while gesturing to the fans that I was actively sitting in front of because it was hot. and I said "okay thanks." and she kept standing there like she was waiting for something else so I said "am I blocking the airflow? do you need me to move?" and she said no I'm just letting you know they're here, in the living room, for circulation. and I said well yes, I did put that together. I am enjoying them. thank you. and she looked confused. so I asked "am I meant to do something with this information or are you just informing me?" and she said no I'm letting you know they're here because It's Hot In Here. she seemed a bit aggravated, and her emphasis seemed deliberate.

it took me asking three more times before she finally told me she wanted me to leave the fans where they are instead of moving them to my room or something. and I said oh! I had no intention of doing so but thank you for letting me know what the expectation is.

about a month later she brought up that conversation as the moment it actually clicked for her that I Am Autistic And Will Not Magically Intuit The Unspoken Request You Didn't Ask Me.

[mothric]

I have observed enough allistic communication to know that generally, if somebody points something out to you that you can already see or are already clearly interacting with, they are making an indirect request. but as I don't know what the request is, the only way forward is for me to guess (and likely get it wrong), or prompt the allistic to tell me clearly what they need.

however, allistics don't realize they do this, so asking them to say the unspoken surprises and confuses them. this is not their fault. allistics can be quite emotionally fragile and perceive directness as confrontation, so they habitually rely on indirect speech and coded language to preserve others' feelings. this is why they may find it difficult to be direct, even when asked. I have found that with enough gentle encouragement and reassurance that they are actually helping you, you too can achieve successful communication with your allistic friend or loved one. :)

[homunculus-argument]

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

[quite-possibly-haunted]

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.

[homunculus-argument]

I'm not religious in any christian way but the thought of Biblical Jesus having a whole gallery wall of pictures of every single grandma with a jesus on her wall is cute.