Alchemy of Vida

Pre-blog about trying new things, learning and growing.

[alchemyofvida]

New Life

I bought new bed sheets and changed it today. I am in the bed with dark blue sheets and love it! I can feel new winds in my life. I should probably close the window because it’s cold outside... 

New life... What does it mean to me? How I imagine my new life?

1) More freedom to do what I love. Read and write. 

2) More money from doing what I love. Independence.

3) Travel in places I never been and writing about things I never have done before but did while on the trip.

4) Meeting new people who teach me in all areas of my life. Meeting new people and becoming real friends.

5) Fall in love with men of my dreams.

6) Inspiring others with things I know. Helping people find themselves and fulfilling their lives with happiness. 

That’s my list. That’s my new life.

[alchemyofvida]

Shit happens

Do you know what I am feeling right now? 

That it’s not going to work... Nothing going to work... It’s pathetic dream and I am going to work on this forever... What I am talking right now? I didn’t even start it. 

I missed two days writing here... I don’t really try anything anymore because I am too tired. I just want to lay in bed and watch TV shows... I am so tired. And I am beating myself for that. And I forgot about my tea and it’s cold now...

I am so tired but I have to do much today. And I am even beating myself right now because I could do something instead of complaining. 

And still... I dressed up, and ready to go. My feeling is not me. I never going to stop. Never! Even then I missed some posts. Every day is an aspiration, but if it’s not working at the moment, well, shit happens. :) 

[hismami]

[alchemyofvida]

He was walking back and forth for like ten minutes. His mind was spinning and he couldn’t stop. The garage with his trophy cars was his only escape. Sadly, he couldn’t connect with his sister anymore. Not after everything that happened. She was his everything, but know, he couldn’t think about anything except that little girl he saved. He was rich, spoiled kid with no ambition in life. But death just puts different perspective in his life. He looked at his cars and didn’t care about it anymore.

- Once you save someone, you can’t stop. You want to save everyone.

He said that to himself. It was the words his father used to say. And finally, he understood.

[alchemyofvida]

Moving Forward

Finally, I am moving forward!

Finally, I have been able to put some smooth touches on my website. I am not launching my website today and there is so much work ahead, but I am already moving forward and it makes me feel better. 

Too bad, that then I just start to move, I have to go to work. I know it’s going to be an interesting day, and I do love my job, but it pisses me off. I am tired and I want to have more free time. I want to do something that makes me want to get up in the morning. I want to help people to achieve something. And of course, I want to make money while doing it. I can feel that I will do this, but it would be nice to have money now.

Not giving up!

[alchemyofvida]

Website Problems

Why it’s so hard to make a website? 

I did make website once, but it was fun and it was easy. Now, when I trying to make it for real, to create some sort of business from it, it’s impossible. 

Okay, I am exaggerating but the more I trying to do it right, the more I learn about right and wrong ways, the psychology behind it, my head starts to hurt. I am lost in this. 

Good news for me, that I want to do this for a living eventually, so I have time to learn. I gave myself till New Year's Eve to start a blog.

Sadly, my perfectionistic side of my just not letting me do it. I have to me it right. Good thing is, that more I come to my deadline, the less perfectionist in me dictates the rules.

And that’s good I think. Till then, I actually learn alot about websites. So when I actually going to sit and finish it, I know how to do it. Well, at least a little more than now.

[alchemyofvida]

The lesson I learned

Apparently, I learned a lesson about myself last night. 

If I want to do something, if I believe I should, I will do it. No matter what.

My goal is to become a writer, blogger, author. And every writer knows that you need to practice daily. You can’t skip a day because if you skip once, you will skip again. 

Consistency. The word I never truly understood till now. Actually, there is a lot of words I didn’t understand... Like “believe“. I never believe in anything compare to this goal. And it’s such a new discovery for me. Seeing myself, my vision and truly accepting what’s going on, letting things happen, letting The Universe make things happen. 

Life often tests us with doubt, uncertainty and stuff like that. And no ones fault if you gave up something because it was hard or you felt pathetic or stupid. How many times I gave up? Oh, my... I gave up again and again. If I think about it more, I can say with certainty, that I am a professional quitter. But here lies new concept. Did I stop? Am I not quitter anymore? 

Will see.

[alchemyofvida]

Battle between two

I am already in bed, one eye already sleeping. And then my heart started pounding. It's just second day, and I already forgot to write. Is this, how I am keeping promises to myself? Especially, then I know it's good for me.

I had a small battle between two sides of me. One side really wanted to keep sleeping. It was a really long day.

But another side reminded me, that I promised myself to become better at writing. At one thing what makes me truly happy.

So do I really want to skip my second day? Do I really don't want to miss few minutes of sleep over longer happiness?

Well, now you know which side won...

[alchemyofvida]

Hooked up...

I know I just posted something and selected a new theme (it’s on the test run), but I really want to write something. 

It’s like you on the roll, it’s like you have so much energy inside that craves to do something you love. You did something for the first time and it paid off with good feelings and you hooked and want to do it again and again.

That’s how I feel right now. And I love it. 

Although, I have no idea what to write. My mind has so many ideas right now, but in ten minutes I have to go to sleep.

It’s 10:25 pm and that means that I have 6:30 hours to sleep.

If You did the math, I wake up 5 am in the morning. 

But don’t be fooled. It’s not because I want to or I am productive or something. 

I wake up 5 am in the morning because I start my job day at 6:30 am.

And I am not that happy about it, but I am not complaining. I chose my job and the day I will be sick of it I am going to quit. 

Enough rambling... 

Good Night...

[alchemyofvida]

Let’s try this

I have a dream. 

And it’s a newly developed dream about my being a blogger. 

Yeah, I know, it’s on now, but I don’t really care. 

I starting this little project on Tumblr because I need to practice. I need to practice writing every day, I need to found my own voice in a writing business, I need to practice putting my mind in the right mindset. And that’s a lot of work.

At the moment, I am working on my website, but for some reasons, I have so much trouble with it and I can feel that it’s going to take a while. 

But not like other projects I started and failed, I can see myself in this. I want to have a lifestyle blogging can give and I can see myself in it. 

And this time, my feeling is completely different. 

So today, I am starting this mini blog or pre-blog where I can practice writing, share my ideas and struggles. 

I need to starts this because if I don’t, I might never will... 

So here we go!!