Ally

I'm 20 and I live in Luton. I like sleeping all day. Send me anons.

[paramoresongs]

Visit Original Link

[pokemonsnap]

[c3po]

what's your type?

type of what

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

Blood

[c3po]

oh red

[juansendizon]

“The people who are still asleep at 3 pm are either heartbroken, depressed or dreamers who stayed up talking to the moon all night.”

— Juansen Dizon

[chacoco]

[okay]

do you even realize that your parents are getting older too?

[spacedlexi]

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

[topsiders-tanlines]

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

[dashaibo]

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

[frowningfox]

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

[altonzm-deactivated20170213]

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[thirdtimecharmed]

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

[svynakee]

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

[orriculum]

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

[digitalfare]

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

[jamesandlilys]

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

[monsterhighalumni]

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

[wereyoulookingforsomething-deac]

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

[moldychesee]

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

[dixon-arrows-deactivated2018052]

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

[beckyhop]

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

[visionssofgideon]

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

[onceuponamirror]

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

[jumpingjacktrash]

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

[piedude]

Irish recipes:

[olivialovesleggings-deactivated]

Close your eyes and listen

[g00d-vibes-g00d-times]

I wish this video was 6 hours long

[motherofsquids]

this is literally my favorite video ive ever seen on tumblr

[kerstin1864]

…it’s hypnotic…

[olivialovesleggings-deactivated]

ALSO- I’m glad this is my second most successful tumblr post. A little background about this video: I took it the day there was the nuclear missile threat while I was on Oahu. That morning, I thought it was my last day on earth and I was about to meet my impending death by nuclear missile. After the island was notified that the alert was actually false (mind you it also took them THIRTY-EIGHT minutes to tell us it was fake) my friends and I drove to Costco, bought a bunch of snacks and fruits, and spent the entire day at this beach. We didn’t talk much, as the concept of life and death was all across our minds. I swam in the water during the sunset, and had just gotten out to record the last light rays that remained. This video reminds me how precious life is and how I will always remember that feeling

[bloodytales]

Teach boys about periods

My mother also talked about periods to my brothers.

When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once was camping with my family and a few of my big brother’s friends when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave me a full pain killer ( I was 13 and before that she only gave me pills cut in half).

I literally laid down on my parents’ air mattress and cried in pain for an hour before the pill kicked in.

My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen as just “a little girl.” So my brother’s friend was confused to see me openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what was wrong with me.

My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike. During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table when my brother’s friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I said I was better, and he said good.

When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me well supplied with chocolate.

Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers, and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly accuse a woman of “being on her period” if the woman is in an argument.

Raise better sons Teach them about normal bodily functions.

[queerlysad]

[babyanimalgifs]

[withinevening]

I think we could all use this on our dashes.

[madzlucemxiv]

Pure post

[coffeefrenchandhistory]

This is the kind of quality content I enjoy and demand

[thegoodvybe]

[waaytoopoor]

I feel so worthless and I just want to mean something to someone.

[ufco]

get fucking satisfied

[ecto-archivist]

@cursedstim here’s the thumbtack video

[cursedstim]

HHHHHH

[megamindmutual-deactivated20191]

[chongoblog]

This video caused my soul to exit my body only to die anyway

[jasper-rolls]

do they just procedurally generate stim video concepts now

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

this is the most viscerally terrifying video under 5 minutes long that ive ever seen

[whatshouldwecallinfertility]

My reproductive system

[curlsandstems]

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

[thewanderingnegro-deactivated20]

“Whats your safe word?”

[curlsandstems]

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

[paninimami]

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

[trashg0d-deactivated20180217]

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

[justcariii]

Lol i need to be his friend

[southernbitchface]

“Every strong man got a sensitive side”

[h3llraizer]

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

“Ooo that’s cute”

[decolonialtheoryandweed]

Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?

[portiasdegeneres-deactivated201]

[elfinmirror]

This right here, ladies and gentlemen, just might be the best beauty-and-beast-story ever.

Because any little girl (or boy for that matter) should grow up knowing that you could be a giant green ogre, and you’d still be bloody gorgeous to the ones that matter.  And not in the “oh, I can overlook your flaws” -kind of way. But in the “those aren’t flaws, they are beauty spots!”-kind of way.

Rant finished.

[ponvboy-deactivated20140316]

the donkey fucked a dragon