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@aleswiftgron
Sounds about right
"It's okay. I can wait." Erin Quinn and James Maguire DERRY GIRLS (2018 - 2022)
DERRY GIRLS — 3.01: The Night Before (2022)
my favorite part of derry girls was just how accurately it portrayed being a normal person in a time of crisis. obviously the events in derry are very much real and ireland has experienced decades of political conflict, and this DOES impact the main characters in a lot of ways, but they still also…. go to school. worry about their friends and birthday parties and being together. because they’re just teenage girls (+ james) and that resonated with me a lot, especially now
Lately Ilya has spent ninety percent of his time thinking about Shane Hollander. This is a low estimate. And something he would never acknowledge to himself, or even consciously realise or conceptualise of.
Shane on his knees. Shane on his hands and knees. Shane and him fucking in front a fireplace with Shane riding him slowly while they’re sat up chest to chest, real romantic shit. Shane’s mouth open and plush. Shane begging for it. Shane crying for it. Shane saying his name. Shane saying goodbye. Shane saying hi. Shane’s eyes and his neck and his baby rabbit soft ears and his strong forearms. The bend of his elbow. Taking Shane to some stupid resort in the Bahamas or something where they would just lie in a private cabin in the middle of the ocean and hold hands and sunbathe and have cocktails appear in their hands. Where Shane would let him have him on every surface. He thought about Shane’s eyes and his eyebrows and the space between his eyebrows that would crinkle when Ilya said something to rouse him on purpose. The way Shane said what. The way he said what do you mean. All earnest like all honest and vulnerable. The way Shane could look at him in a way that made Ilya feel like he was being pierced through the skin. He wanted to lie awake and watch Shane sleep and whisper just loudly enough that it was heard by the world. I would die for you I would die for you I would I would. Shane holding a baby. Shane’s trim waist roped with muscle, Ilya’s big hand wrapped around it. Mine, mine, mine. Shane’s shoulders and back, rippling through water. Shane drinking a glass of water. Shane drinking a glass of beer. Shane wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Shane’s pinched brow. Making out with Shane open mouthed. Fucking Shane up against a wall. In fact, every surface became a place he could fuck Shane. Every song became about Shane. Every conversation thread had by other people something he could spin into Shane.
It got so bad he simply had to talk to someone about it. Luckily Marley had just met some new chick of the month as well and it was easy to transpose Shane onto some nebulous type girl. They weren’t super sharey in general so he kind of got away with being unspecific, never saying a name. Just any excuse to talk about him. They traded lovesick comments between them like tween girls and sexual fantasies like perverse men. He never said the truly damning shit out loud though. It was just a pressure release. A way to keep from exploding, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person.
Ilya imagined taking Shane into his arms rough and ready in the doorway and saying I missed you. Did you miss me? And Shane admitting I missed you and Ilya would get to smirk into Shane’s smiling mouth and Shane would be overcome with it and kiss him like he was air. Shane in shorts. Shane in briefs. Shane in a jock. Shane completely naked in his bed. Waking up to find Shane naked in his bed. Returning from a shower to find Shane naked in his bed. Returning from practice to find Shane naked in his bed. All dark hair and sweet eyes, sheets tangled around his limbs and hands grabbing at nothing, grabbing for Ilya. Shane and him touching chest to chest with nothing in between. Shane holding him under the covers. Shane complaining that the carrots are overcooked. Or the glass isn’t clean enough. Or the fabrics not organic.
Everytime he stopped at a red light while driving he imagined Shane sliding into the passenger seat, smiling and saying “Hi” shyly before throwing himself over Ilya, Shane’s lips all over his face and neck, hands running like water, and Ilya would chuckle and say “Okay easy. Easy now” which was ridiculous because it was Ilya’s fantasy and so he was the one making Shane act like this. And he would say “I missed you, did you miss me?” and Shane would murmur “Well, obviously” and Ilya would feel like a fucking lottery winner for affecting the man who can’t be moved, for making him admit to his being moved. Shane wearing his hat backwards. Shane blushing from the bridge of his nose to his belly button. Shane folded in half gasping and moaning into Ilya’s mouth. Shane across from him at a cafe or a restaurant or in the seat next to him at a bar. He would know exactly what to order for Shane, for Shane to roll his eyes and then say thank you and Ilya would say show me how thankful you are and Shane would roll his eyes and kiss him even though there were people around.
All things absurd and mundane. But if you asked him, even to himself, he would’ve responded he spent minimal amounts of time thinking about Hollander.
The only thing better than thinking about Shane was having him. Real and in the flesh it was like a dream. No, not like a dream. Like everything made sense. Like waking up. Again, this was yet far from a conscious observation.
the shane by fleetwood mac
hi we are on the post apocalypse bus together can we hold hands
ngl it's pretty funny being me rn because i see every sort of take about the finale of good omens going around, and somehow, i manage to be ALL OF THEM.
"they didn't even kiss" I KNOW RIGHT??
"a kiss is not that important tho" yea i agree :/
"but IT IS" EXACTLY!
"i HATED the finale what do you mean everyone DIED??? it's literally the story of job all over again" ykw HELL YEA EXACTLY oh my god I HATE THAT >:(
"i loved the finale, i think they did a great job for solving everything in such little time" oh my, me too, i absolutely loved it, i'm so happy we got to see a human version of them, even if in such terrible circumstances :") <3
They found each other in a universe they're not supposed to exist in
Bringing this one back because the girlies are discovering the ancient texts again.
beelya
Sexy Golf Caddie Shane AU
Golf Caddie Shane Hollander being assigned to a rich and bitchy Ilya Rozanov.
Golf Caddie Shane knowing full well how the short white shorts of his uniform hug his ass. He makes sure to bend over just right to give Mr. Rozanov something to tip him about.
Ilya Rozanov playing all 18 holes and turns out he is less bitchy and more so fucking hilarious. Shane is under no impression that this connection is anything special. Rumor has it Mr. Rozanov had fucked 4 of their cart girls already.
Ilya Rozanov repeatedly asking for Shane as his Caddie weekend after weekend.
Shane not being born yesterday and fully knowing he was being aggressively flirted with but he is not going to give in - he is going to milk Rozanov for tips until the man gets bored.
Ilya praying to all of the gods above and below for a chance to take a bite out of Shane. That man is so fucking clean and smooth and innocent and has no idea of what terrible things Ilya wants to do to him.
Ilya bribing and tipping everyone that works with Shane to drag him out to a fancy bar for his birthday so that Ilya can 'accidentally' run into him.
Shane knowing exactly what Rozanov was doing because one of the shift managers told him. "Whatever happens off premises is not my business. Be careful"
Shane deciding that the teasing gig has come to an end and Rozanov is pretty close to giving up altogether. The few shifts with the man that he likely has left would not yield that much more cash. It would be worth it to put out - the man was fucking hot.
Ilya thinking the plan was working as he gets Shane alone at the bar and flirts with him more intensely than on the course. Shane is all bashful looks and blush and "Mr Rozanov". His eyes are hungry and desperate and everything that Ilya had not even thought to dream of.
Ilya being absolutely royally fucked because Shane Hollander, his fucking Caddie, knows exactly what he is doing. He takes all of Ilya like it's easy and orgasms twice hands free. What is Ilya supposed to do with himself? He is absolutely gone for the man.
Shane does not expect Rozanov to keep on asking for him on the course. Ilya fully and openly simping and letting himself be wrapped around Shane's finger.
Ilya slowly but surely managing to lure Shane out to a date.
Shane is convinced Ilya would loose interest because he is not really from the same walk of life as the man but they get along even better one on one than they do at the golf club. Shane's kinda grift turns into real feelings and then they move in together and then they live happy and horny forever after.
List of Shane Hollander's crushes:
Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid.
Patrick Swayze, specifically in Dirty Dancing because his mom would watch that movie whenever it came on and nine year old Shane would join her, watching with an innocent but fixed fascination he usually only ever showed for hockey related things.
Li Shang in Mulan.
An 8th grade classmate who occasionally told the other boys to knock it off when they made jokes at Shane's expense. He had that 90s popular boy curtain bangs haircut and Shane would sometimes fantasize about brushing the hair away from his face.
The boy who was the Captain of his U15 team the year he joined. Confused it for hero worship. He had a habit of ruffling Shane's hair and of teasing him in a way that sometimes crossed the line from affectionate to mean. Both gave Shane butterflies.
Scott Hunter, also confused for hero worship.
A 12th grade classmate who was on the basketball team and who always stood just a little bit too close whenever he talked to Shane, forcing Shane to crane his neck to look up at him.
Ilya Rozanov, unfortunately.
Carter Vaughn. He's cute, he's friendly, and he throws his arm around Shane's shoulders whenever they meet.
Ilya Rozanov, still.
A photographer who takes Shane's pictures for one of his many brand deals and is a little more hands-on than most, without touching Shane in any way that could be construed as inappropriate. Tells Shane "good job, kid, you're a natural" once the shoot is over, his voice warm and deep.
His boyfriend, Ilya Rozanov.
J.J. Boiziau, after J.J. takes him out to a gay club post Shane coming out and forces him onto the dancefloor with him. This crush is swiftly snuffed out the next week when J.J. tosses his socks at him in the locker room and the smell nearly knocks Shane out cold.
His husband, Ilya Rozanov ❤️
if we get an irina foundation hockey camp montage at any point in s2 i hope it includes a clip of a three year old dropping gloves on ilya and him fully committing to the bit. just straight up dramatics as the kid pummels his kneecaps, dropping to the ice, rolling around calling to the ref (shane) to intervene already (spoiler, he doesn't).
i just think it would be neat.
Do you guys think that one night at the cottage they fall asleep on the couch together too tired to make it to bed? Maybe they ran in the morning and then spent most of the day in the water because it’s like a mini heatwave at the moment, the next 2 days are meant to be sticky thick hot.
They’d raced each other out to the long tree to the left of the dock, swimming hard and fast, competitive here too, in the water- anywhere they could be. Shane had won by half a second and Ilya had argued he cheated and when Shane had asked how on earth he could have cheated Ilya wined about how short his swim trunks were and that they were an obvious distraction. Very dirty play from Shane, as per Ilya.
Ilya and Shane hadn’t gone inside until the sun was slowly starting to dip and go orange warm, the air still thick with heat and Ilya complaining about his pruny fingers, while simultaneously trying to shove said wrinkly fingers down Shane’s swim trunks.
They’d showered and eaten, salad and chicken breast because it was too hot to face anything heavier or what required more than just the grill to cook. They’d packed away and cleaned, Ilya asking for a kiss every time Shane passed him a dish to dry. He explained it was payment for his labour. Shane thought it was a pretty good deal, considering how well he likes to be kissed; and how well Ilya kisses.
Shane had been tucking yawns into his elbow by the time they walked to the couch but it was Ilya’s choice for movie night tonight and he was very excited to watch Die Hard and Shane does like Die Hard. He can make it through a movie he’s sure. They make themselves a nest on the couch, the aircon on to make the room nice and cool so they can get cosy, because Shane doesn’t want to let a heatwave stop him from getting to cuddle with Ilya. There are enough things that keep them apart already.
They have just one blanket, a waffle knit that isn’t as warm as the others, but still lovely and heavy like Shane likes and Shane is leant back against the arm of the couch, fucking around on his phone- clearing out some emails and texting his dad back as he waits for Ilya to come back from the bathroom. Shane isn’t paying attention really as he waits so suddenly he just has a big lapfull of Ilya.
Ilya draws the blanket up as he lays on top of Shane, his head on Shane’s chest turned to face the tv, lying between Shane’s legs. Shane just scoffs a laugh and tucks his phone down the side of the couch and reaches to fix at the blanket where Ilya had just half heartedly pulled it over him.
Shane clicks play on the movie and his next yawn makes his eyes go wet with the depth of it and he turns his head away to muddle the sound. He tilts his chin down and rubs his mouth over Ilya’s soft curls. Eyes half on the tv and half drooping. Ilya’s hair is half damp from the shower and he smells like his body wash and hair products and he’s such a nice weight on Shane. Shane takes a greedy deep inhale through his nose again. The smell of Ilya is home. His baby. He hums under his breath as he continued to nuzzle his lips over Ilya’s soft half dry curls, the comfort of it enough to make his limbs all heavy.
Ilya rubs his cheek against Shane’s chest, over and over until Shane grunts out a “what?” and grabs at the back of Ilya’s neck. “You are going to put yourself to sleep like that my Shane” Ilya groans and Shane huffs out a laugh. Ilya knows him well. Fucker.
Shane tightens his hand on the back of Ilya’s neck and turns his head to his cheek is resting on top of Ilya’s head, facing the tv. “I’m watching” Shane sighs and he feels Ilya’s smile against his chest.
“Good boy” Ilya mumbles and Shane smacks the back of his head gently with a cupped palm.
Ilya nips at his chest through his tshirt and it makes Shane squirm but then they settle for a while. A few minutes. Then Ilya is shifting against Shane again, wriggling and Shane just lets him, assuming he’s getting comfy, but then Ilya grunts and says “scratches” and Shane smirks, ah of course. Shane puts his hand under the blanket, and sets his nails between Ilya’s shoulder blades, over the thin fabric of his tshirt. He starts slow long scratches of his nails gently up and down Ilya’s toned tall back.
Shane feels Ilya go heavy with the pleasure of it, the extra weight of him on his body, the way he groans soft and content on every few exhales. Affection bleeds heavy through Shane’s chest. There’s nothing he enjoys more than making Ilya feel good, feel safe, settled. He loves seeing Ilya relaxed, feeling him relaxed. Shane can’t believe he gets to be the one to give him that. Boyfriends. His boyfriend. His love. Shane’s.
“You can’t fall sleep either” Shane says after a few moments of slow heavy breathing from Ilya.
“I am so awake” Ilya says after a thick swallow voice rumbly.
“You better be” Shane gruffs and he feels Ilya’s belly shift against his lower body, moving with his sleepy laugh.
“Yes boss” Ilya nods
“We will both stay awake” Ilya confirms
“Definitely” Shane agrees and his next yawn cracks his jaw a little.
Shane keeps the slow tickle of Ilya’s back, and lets his head lean back against the arm of couch, watching John Mclane on the screen. His blinks are heavy but he’s got this, he can keep himself up and then he and his big sleepy log of a boy can crawl into bed for the night, they have fresh sheets on the bed. It’ll be so good.
The next thing Shane knows, he can hear the soft rustle of fabric, his body is heavy in the wrap of sleep and he feels movement around him, he frowns, only very a little bit awake as he tries to orientate where he is.
“Shane” Ilyas voice is low and warm, and Shane turns his face towards it. Ilya. He’s too tired to make his tongue work but he hums, draws in a deep breath as he tries to draw himself up into consciousness. Closer to Ilya.
“Ah. Sonnyy zaychik” Shane frowns, too half asleep to even try translate and he gets his eyes a tiny half blink open, heavy arms moving, tugging the heat on his chest closer, tighter, Ilya.
“Come on, we need to move, you’ll be very mad zaychik if I let you sleep on couch. Neck will be sore and back will be sore, too sore for yoga. This is not good” Ilya’s voice is warping around him and sleep is so nice and heavy and he’s so warm. Why would they move? Ilya is crazy and sleep is here.
Shane whines and shakes his head. “Sleep” Shane mutters, tilting his head down to rub his face into Ilya’s hair. Soft.
“Soft” Shane exhales, and squeezes his arms firm around Ilya, pinning him to his body, tight.
Ilya grunts and Shane turns his face down more, burrowing, trying to find Ilya’s face with his, he wants to be closer.
“Super human strength to crush poor boyfriend” Ilya grits and Shane whines again when heavy warm is pulled away from him, squirms and blinks hard to get his eyes open.
“Nooooooo” Shane looks in the low light, the room dark besides a light shining in from the kitchen down the hall and the dark light of the tv screen running credits.
“Ilya” he asks, and Ilya’s heart pinches.
He’s stood at the end of the couch and Shane is a fussy little mess, tangled in his sweat pants and the blanket, face pink with sleep eyes heavy and bleary and a deeep frown on his face. His grumpy grumpy boy.
Shane repeats his name and holds a sleepy arm out toward him. “Cuddle. Sleep” his boyfriend/caveman requests monosyllabically, mouth mostly closed still.
Oh god. What is Ilya going to do with him. Do with himself. Shane might kill him, really. The picture he makes and Ilya feels mean for pulling back from their cuddle but he know how annoyed Shane would be if he woke up with a crick in his neck and couldn’t do his usual yoga flow.
“Yes zaychik, cuddle, sleep” and Shane lets out a low tired “yessssss” and Ilya pushes his smile into his mouth with a press of his lips and leans down over the couch, gets an arm under the back of Shane’s head, thread under his knees and Shane is trying to turn into the warmth of his body already, squirming toward Ilya’s chest with a sleep drunk determination.
“But in our bed” Ilya whispers and Shane’s sad little “noooo” is smushed against Ilya’s chest as he lifts him up off the couch. That seems to wake Shane more, he flinches and his hand comes to grip at the front of Ilya’s shirt. His eyes blink all the way open and Ilya thinks this has to be what newborn kittens look like. Must be. No other way. His nose is wrinkled hard, and brows set in and his pretty cheeks are all pink. Ilya needs to bite his face. As soon as feasible. And maybe find a safe place for Shane to exist, like behind his ribs or between his fingers. Where Ilya can keep him safe and warm and fussy like this always.
“What” Shane manages to get out and he’s blearily looking around and Ilya has to look away from his sweet handsome face before he trips and kills them on the stairs from the way his heart is squeeze squeeze squeezing.
“We are going to bed, I am carrying you because your legs broke in your sleep, this is very sad” Ilya sighs, holds Shane tighter to his chest as he rounds the corner, watches carefully to make sure his head is clear of the wall.
Shane just sighs, like Ilya is torturing him, and the Ilya feels his face smush into his chest, warm and no doubt just as grumpy as before.
“I know. I am very evil man” Ilya laughs under his breath and then he’s stepping into their room, he manages to get the covers down on Shane’s side before he deposits him on the bed. Shane, in all his sleep haze rolls tighter into Ilya’s chest when he tries to pull back. “Cuddle. You said” Shane’s voice is pleading, young. Just for Ilya. Ilya’s heart surely can take much more.
“Yes, my Shane, cuddle” Ilya whispered and can’t help but to lean his head down to kiss over Shane’s soft warm cheeks. Tiny little pecks of his lips that he can feel Shane following, tilting his face up into each of them, nuzzling their faces together like those videos he’s seen of kittens cleaning each other with licks.
“Let me get us to bed yes?” Ilya whispers, lips on the corner of Shane’s pretty mouth.
“Okay?” Ilya asks and Shane nods, loosens his viper grip on Ilya. “Quick” he mutters and Ilya can feel something so horribly beautiful in the back of his throat his chest. This gorgeous boy misses him for a few seconds apart, Shane asks for him so shamelessly, in the way that Shane rarely openly asks for anything at all, he asks for Ilya. He wants.
Ilya makes good on his earlier wish and parts his mouth to drag his teeth in a gentle light scrape over the apple of Shane’s cheek, taking the meat of is gently in a feather soft bite, pressing his teeth once, twice before letting go.
Shane has a huge dopey smile and Ilya’s saliva on his cheek when Ilya pulls back. Ilya feels like he might of left his heart pressed to Shane’s chest somewhere back on the couch, the two of them beating together. It would explain the way his chest feels bruised.
“Top off?” Ilya asks, his hands already pushing at the bottom of Shane’s shirt because he knows Shane doesn’t like sleeping with a top on, sometimes he wants boxers or sweats or soft shorts but never ever a top.
Shane nods and Ilya eases the fabric up off his body, says a soft “arms up” that for some stupid second makes him miss home (home to him is still just only one room in his first home in Russia, his bedroom, the smell of mamas perfume, the weight of care). Shane flops his arms heavily over his head and Ilya folds the fabric once it’s off, places it on Shane’s beside table.
“Pants on?” Ilya asks and Shane nods, his hand moving back out trying to find Ilya again.
“Okie Okie hang on” Ilya says, stripping off till he is just in his boxers and then he’s peeling back the other side of the covers and climbing in next to Shane. The little leech beside takes all of two seconds to roll over into Ilya’s space with a whine under his breath.
“Sheets cold” Shane mutters and Ilya shushes him, strokes a hand down the back of his head, thumb rubbing at the base of his neck.
“I’m warm yes?” Ilya asks, pulls Shane up onto his chest and Shane sighs out heavy and happily, rubbing his face all over Ilya’s chest, like a sleepy milk drunk kitten looking for something soft to snuggle into. This vicious kitten deems him acceptable, his arm reaching up, hand laying over his pec, cheek pressed to the other one and his small frown finally smoothes out.
“Mmhm” Shane confirms on an exhale.
“Love your warm” Shane slurs and Ilya’s hand massages steady at the back of his neck, can feel how close his Shane is to dropping off to sleep.
“Love you” Ilya replies, leans down to kiss kiss kiss at Shane’s head, over his hairline, thinks into his kisses ‘rest rest rest’ his thoughts aimed at that gorgeous brain of Shane’s that he knows can tick on and on and on even in his sleep.
Shane replies, a jumbled “lubyo” that Ilya is sure is love you. He can feel it anyway, they don’t need the words, can feel the way Shane holds him, curls into him, in his half asleep state searched for ilya like he was his centre. Ilya could feel it all, see it all, even in the dark.
I’m rewatching The Game Plan and why did nobody do a hollanov au??? Like ilya as joe kingman and shane as the ballet teacher