Without my memory, who am I?

There wasn't a before for me, only an after. After I woke up here, wherever here is. If the file I awoke with is to be believed, my name is Alexandra, but I don't have a clue who she might be. Someone who's nightmares plague me, someone I can't ever be again. I've moved on with my life now. I've gotten married and recently had a child, a daughter named Stella. All I can do now is try and and be happy, and live life as fabulously as I can.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Do you have a moment sweetie? I'd like to speak about something with you.

I always have time for you. If you don’t mind that I’ve got Wills with me I’m free now.

[arthurapparently-blog]

"Of course it’s what I want." He said quickly. His throat was burning and the tears were threatening not to stop so he chose his words sparsely and carefully. "It’s all I ever wanted. The two of you are all I ever wanted. I thought we’d broken each other. I was trying to salvage what was left. "

He shifted the wiggling baby in his lap before continuing.

"I’m sorry for my part in all this, I realize I’m so much to blame but the idea of being given another chance, makes me happier than I can even put into words. You’re still my wife, Alex. That is if you want to be."

[alexandra-who]

Alex shook her head, it wasn't all on him. They had poor communication skills on top of bringing the past back into everything no matter if it was settled and done or not. They were so insecure sometimes and it bled out in so many ways. Not to mention that their timing was terrible at best, but they had love. Even if she wasn't sure of anything else she knew that she loved him.

"Of course I do, I always will want that. Even when I left I still wanted it, I just didn't know how to make it work with the way things were then." Logically she knew not much had changed except their the level of determination. They still had done everything they had before, they couldn't change it now. But she hoped this time they could really put things behind them, leave the past in the past, start over. They deserved it, to be happy together.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Do you have a moment sweetie? I'd like to speak about something with you.

I always have time for you. If you don’t mind that I’ve got Wills with me I’m free now.

[arthurapparently-blog]

He couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing and he was more than likely dreaming. Or at least that’s what he figured. Too often he had gone to bed and imagined her coming to him, coming to them both and saying these words. 

So David had laid the groundwork. He had to admit that was a surprise. It seemed as though Arthur was the one trying to pull the disparate pieces of their relationship together. Or at least he was when he wasn’t the one breaking them apart. 

"All I’ve ever wanted is my family back." He said softly as Wills babbled on his lap. "This is what I’ve wished for since we split. I could not bear us being fractured apart like this. I don’t even know what to do with myself anymore." The tears were coming out of nowhere now. Well not nowhere, more like out of a hot spring that he kept sealed off as best he could. "Almost everyone that every mattered t me had disappeared and I couldn’t bear to have lost you too. I mean really lost you. I want you back. I want us back."

[alexandra-who]

Alex could feel the tears welling in her eyes, though sadness was the last thing on her mind. She reached a hand out to cup Arthur's face and brushed a thumb across his bottom lip. She wanted to kiss him but she held back, she wasn't sure what they might be ready for, so much was undiscussed. Even if she hadn't been slightly hesitant to kiss him, the babies in their respective laps would have made it awkward.

She opened her mouth to say something, but her initial words came out more of a choked up sob. Trying again with teary smile she said,"You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that, I wasn't sure what you'd want." She hoped, he had after all fought for her to stay when she'd walked out of their marriage, but she had still worried. 

[arthurapparently-blog]

Do you have a moment sweetie? I'd like to speak about something with you.

I always have time for you. If you don’t mind that I’ve got Wills with me I’m free now.

[arthurapparently-blog]

The hand on the knob was soft and tentative and there was hesitation as it turned. There was a time when she would have just entered. But not now, not anymore. 

He stood up with a smile as she entered the room, both of them were shifting a baby on their hip and they grinned at the similarities. Leaning in he kissed her on the cheek and motioned for her to have a seat on the bed.

"It’s so good to see you. Both of you." He said touching Stella’s little cheek. I’ve missed you, ‘Lex, a lot. It’s been so strange…not seeing you. But, I’m sorry, you wanted to speak to me. What about?" He asked, he and William sitting next to her on the bed.

[alexandra-who]

Alex smiled, her skin warming as Arthur's lips touched her cheek, and she inhaled his scent. She settled onto the bed, setting Stella upright and blocking her in with a pillow. "We missed you too. It's been...awful if I'm honest. Worrying and then being so close here in the house, and yet so far away."

"I..." She trailed off for a moment, collecting her thoughts as she glanced at the babies who were both making quiet noises. "I spoke with David, we want...we want to give it a go again. At a slower pace, leave the past behind." She honestly doubted there was any other way to do it.

"I know this wasn't just about him and I though. There was more to it and that, and I'd like for there to be still. I want to know that you're okay with that."She glanced nervously at him before continuing. "Because I want that for us too, all of us. I want my family back," she finished, a near whisper.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Do you have a moment sweetie? I'd like to speak about something with you.

I always have time for you. If you don’t mind that I’ve got Wills with me I’m free now.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Arthur waited patiently for Alex to arrive. He didn’t know what to expect. He knew she and David had spoken but he wasn’t entirely sure just what had transpired. He bounced William on his knee worry creeping down his spine. It seemed like it had been so long since they’d seen each other on cordial terms. And so much had happened since then, He’d devoted almost all his time to looking after David. Any free moment he spent with his son or holed up in his room, essentially shutting off what remained of the island. He had wondered how she’d been but had almost been afraid to ask. Afraid to open any of the up to that hurt again. But now it seemed that no matter what, something was about to happen

[alexandra-who]

Alex knocked quietly at Arthur's bedroom door, shifting Stella on her hip as she did. That was something she hadn't done in ages, knocking here, and it seemed so foreign to her now. She'd done her best to not dwell on the way things had been these past few months, but nothing had seemed right. She hadn't realised that she'd been as truly upset as she was about being apart from both Arthur and David until she had been faced with the possibility that they may no longer be there at all.

David had agreed to discuss things calmly, and together they had come to the conclusion that they wanted to try again, really try properly this time. She had been relieved to find they were on the same page, she could only hope that Arthur might be as well. Having only half her heart was still a broken one.

She turned the doorknob, knowing he likely had his hands full with William, and that he'd be expecting her. "Hello darling," she said, stepping into the room and smiling.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Do you have a moment sweetie? I'd like to speak about something with you.

I always have time for you. If you don’t mind that I’ve got Wills with me I’m free now.

[alexandra-who]

No that’s fine really, we can talk in your room if you prefer, or whatever is best for you.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Yeah, my room will do just fine. Is everything ok? Is Stella alright? Are you?

[alexandra-who]

We're fine, better than fine maybe. I'll see you in there in a minute.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Do you have a moment sweetie? I'd like to speak about something with you.

I always have time for you. If you don’t mind that I’ve got Wills with me I’m free now.

[alexandra-who]

No that's fine really, we can talk in your room if you prefer, or whatever is best for you.

[surprise-capaldi]

[davidonanisland-blog]

Have dinner with me tonight love? It’s been a while since we spent time together and I feel like we need to maybe get back what we had before…properly this time.

[alexandra-who]

I'd like that very much.

[davidonanisland-blog]

It's sort of nice....I mean...

[davidonanisland-blog]

  Come up to my room love. I think we need to have a proper conversation, you and I and iron a few things out together.

[alexandra-who]

I... alright yeah. You're right. I think we do need to don't we?

[orlandobloomslc-deactivated2015]

  We’re good thanks, Lena had a 24hr bug a couple of days ago buts she’s over it now, thank God. I never went up to the main house, I prefer it here.

[alexandra-who]

I'm sorry to hear that, I'm glad shes better now.

I moved out ages ago now it seems. I was just worried about being alone after so many people disappeared. It's more than a little frightening to think that anyone could disappear at any moment. I'm know I left, but I still love and worry about David and Arthur both.

[surprise-capaldi]

[davidonanisland-blog]

It's sort of nice....I mean...

Less people means less drama yeah?

[alexandra-who]

I have noticed. Lonely though, or maybe it just seems that way because I know people have gone.

[orlandobloomslc-deactivated2015]

  I can imagine, how are you by the way and Stella.

[alexandra-who]

We're good, though I'm really starting to wonder what the sense of moving back into the house was. It seems like I don't see anyone any more often than I did. I often wonder if  people aren't just still disappearing.

How are you and Helena doing?

[alexandra-who]

It's very strange to be in the main house again.

[the-lady-isolde]

I haven’t. I haven’t really seen anyone lately and it’s terrifying with people going missing so suddenly..and in the numbers hence why I’ve stayed inside alot with Wills..to be honest I though Arthur was one of the disappeared. William is fine, I’m good yeah. How many have gone?

[alexandra-who]

Oh god, no...no he's fine. He came down to help move Stella and I back into the house for the time being. With so many people disappearing all at once like that we figured it was just a little safer. I mean not that it probably really is, but it feels that way. Being able to know where the important people are is important right now.

I have no idea, I didn't count. Too many though.

[jlc-oleman]

I wake up on the beach in my nighty.

- slowly starting to rule out surprise romantic getaway. Where am I?

[alexandra-who]

Unfortunately that happens here. The waking up and not knowing where you are I mean, or who you are for that matter. It's happened to everyone here at least once. It's an island, we know that much. Though nobody really leaves, at least not on purpose.

[the-lady-isolde]

Oh dear. How have you been, haven’t seen you around in a while.  How is Stella?

[alexandra-who]

Miranda!  Have you spoken to Arthur yet? About the disappearances I mean, everyone's been worried, not knowing who is still here. I've been good for the most part. I've been around just, out of site I suppose. We've been fine, Stella's good. How about you and William?

[arthurapparently-blog]

I just wanted to check on you, to know that you are alright. I thought it was just quiet today and then I realised that it wasn't just quiet, it was empty. People have gone missing, not just one or two, but several. Please tell me that you haven't disappeared.

No, darling, I’m here. I’m still here. David came round looking for me earlier, he was worried too. I didn’t even notice until he pointed it out. Thank God, you’re alright.

[arthurapparently-blog]

Absolutely. Do you need help?. In fact, damn whether you do or not. Stay where you are, I’m coming to get you and the baby. Don’t you move an inch, understand? I’m on my way.

[alexandra-who]

Yeah, alright. We'll get her things together when you get here. Arthur?... Thank you.