Secondhand Thoughts

[tentacleteapot]

The holidays take a dark turn as a crisis unfolds in our household

[tentacleteapot]

reblog to help him get off the chair, like to help him jump onto another surface

[its-only-the-rain]

Have you ever wondered how someone meets Santa? Well, you need to follow a very specific ritual to summon him.

[the-nwah-embassy]

Do you have any idea how long I’ve had this queued? Any idea? A year. A fucking year. I don’t even use my queue ever. Ever. This is the only thing I’ve EVER queued. I’ve had this queued for a year so I don’t forget it.

[catchymemes]

[anachronic-cobra]

This was so ridiculously drawn out and the conclusion was so obvious yet still I couldn’t tell where this was going

[memesonthehour]

I’m a bot. I post every hour. Follow for endless memes. Join my discord! - https://discord.gg/RQRb9Jx

[wishingto-disappear]

lowkey laughing and highkey pissed off because i’ve still been seeing so much porn on tumblr, yet the shit that’s been flagged on my nsfw blog isn’t even half as bad as what i’ve seen. wtf tumblr

[prokopetz]

To be totally fair to Willy Wonka, at least a couple of those candy factory casualties involved kids deliberately circumventing reasonable safeguards, sometimes aided and abetted by the parents who were supposed to be supervising them. What happened is at most 60% his fault.

[thecolossalennui]

oompa loompa doopity dare

the court finds you breached your duty of care

[aka-maayan]

oompa loompa doopity disk

that’s what the courts call assumption of risk

[tipofthescepter]

oompa loompa doopity do

only a partial judgment for you

[thes3nator]

Oompa loompa doopity doubt,

The rest of the class action lawsuit is hereby…

(SLAM) (SLAM)

THROWNITY OUT!

[books-n-quotes]

“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

— Nicole Krauss, The History of Love (via books-n-quotes)

[ultrafacts]

This is the Ayam Cemani Chicken of Indonesia. It’s a rare breed of chicken. 

(Fact Source)

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[stunningpicture]

To the person who posted the Jenga tower earlier. Your move.

[hanari502]

how the FUCK

[katetinyjohn]

I was gonna make a “remember when captain america punched harley quinn in the face” post before realising that margot robbie and jaime pressly are not actually the same person despite the evidence that they most definitely are

I mean???

they are literally the same person???

for years I’ve believed there was only one of them????

but??? there’s two?¿?¿?¿

[say-prettyy-pleasee]

And they’re not related?

[westafricanbaby]

😦😦😦😦🤭🤭🤭🤭

[super-shar]

Their mamas have some explaining to do

[ofdarklands]

that’s one person and you can’t fool me

[securelyinsecure]

The plot thickens!

[juicyvelourtracksuit]

What’s happening

[amargedom]

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via goodreadss)

[elusify]

[maisonderriere]

[fucktigershit-deactivated202003]

[rinnysega]

quality 

[vampirekandi]

I’m actually laughing really hard

[z-nogyrop]

imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to

and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.

and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth

imagine

[z-nogyrop]

now realize that this is what bees have done to us

[bellamybellarke--archive]

like full offense, but why are romcoms constantly being criticized for being “unrealistic” and “too self indulgent” but action movies with impossible car stunts and huge shoot out scenes that are led by an average looking, mildly in shape man (who is somehow a practically indestructible and unbeatable fighting robot) are not? 

the answer is because romcoms are generally made for women, and women’s fantasies are never indulged by society the same way men’s are. 

[l0v3-r3v9]

she said what had to be said