certified mess

[vamptits]

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

[halberdbooks]

Yeah

[ruinedchildhood]

[barbreypilled]

when I tell u I had to scroll a week back in my twitter likes to find this video bc I genuinely couldn’t sleep until I did

[naamahdarling]

I love frogs so much

[taraljc]

he has so much to say! clearly he was cat in a past life

[gamoraswonder]

happy pride month<3

[mrsterlingeverything]

Society should forgive the occasional diva moment

[haunted-skitty-doll]

Sorry to post shit I found on reddit but this video has been on my mind for like 3 weeks now

[mevil]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[manipulated-pieces]

Why is it easier and more comfortable to sit in a position that actively damages my joints than it is to just sit with okay posture. Why does my body crave its own destruction

[foreveriallyzombified]

i had a nightmare last night madonna lady gaga (all one person in this dream like a fusion) released a single called “PUNANI” and it the music video was just her squatting in different places across the world with the exact same framing with no underwear, with everything shown but the like. inside labia part was painstakingly and specifically censored with huge white lines. but the clitoris and holes and everything were perfectly visible and the video was playing on all TV’s constantly during the olympics. i was on a date with a guy i like and it turned on in the restaurant and the lyrics were like “infected punani sweet punani sour punani” just listing different adjectives some of which were really disgusting or medically concerning and i was like Hey man can you turn this off? and the waiter did but then like. later in the dream (we were walking around in hollywood and holding hands) the song came on again and i had to pretend to think it’s fine to not come off like. a prude.

the thing is PUNANI (2021) by madonna lady gaga was an extremely minor part of the dream. the main thing was i was trying to take the guy around town but there was a Blackwater type independent contractor army protecting almost every store and would point guns at us and they were also wh*te supr*macists and would make comments about us as we walked along. punani was just like. completely unquestioned in-universe lore. that ther song was released and everyone was ok with it

[foreveriallyzombified]

the song itself kind of sounded like technologic by daft punk

[museumticket]

Paul Ferney (American, b. 1976), Night Swimming: Electric Blues, 2024. Oil on canvas, 11x14 in.

[kosmogrl]

[alexorcism]

Nobody asked but I made a Wandavision Playlist in the year of our Lord 2026. It's a blend of selections from the show soundtrack and songs that I connect with Wanda. ALL in chronological order. The "real world" songs staggered with soundtracking from the episode of their respective decade. Please clap

[mortalityplays]

if you spend your life bitching and complaining about the fact people are 'expected' to engage in the dreaded pointless banal '''small talk''' instead of learning to trade pleasantries with the people around you, you will never know the true and heady joy of doing a dumb bit with a complete stranger and as a result your soul will remain small

[x-i-l-verify]

#my favorite bit is when i wear my wrist braces in public and someone asks if I got hurt#and I tell them something patently insane #'I got into a Kung Fu Battle with the local canada geese' insane #and realizing that We Are Playing A Game #they will Yes And me #'Oh yeah they've been taking lessons from the squirrels' they nod #and within two minutes the lady cutting my fabric at the quilt store and I have a whole bit about the urban animals all being in rival dojo #The grandma behind me chimes in that the fat raccoons under her porch must be doing Sumo

[fatjovan-deactivated20131125]

[xlec]

this vine is one year old but everything about this is art. the camera rotates a full 180 degrees around a point. the child in the background misses an easy basketball shot then gets hit in the face in the face with a basketball. the fact that this kids name is semi. the fucking beat is three notes and semi kills that shit with one of the hottest bars dropped in this decade. ‘money add then multiply’ means that semi knows his fuckin shit but he doesnt know how to say mathematics. put this fucking vine on a cd so it can be looped by aliens 3000 years in the future

[wangdude2006]

you missed the kid’s genius - he can spell mathematics, he goes an extra step, it’s (M)oney (A)dd (Th)en (M)ultiply, I call that MATHM-Mathematics

[xlec]

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[syrenki]

possible career paths for me:

1. matching pearls in pairs for earrings

2. msn butterfly

that's it probably

[theehorsepusssy]