Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

[2rsquared]

I want a new character

[theprettyboysclub]

Then make one.

[just-yet]

[zuw]

🎄

[dykecosette]

OP died before they could finish recording

[earthstory]

[tree-uprising]

Is this heaven?

[onetrillionthoughts-deactivated]

all good things are wild and free

[marvel-blog2]

so the only two white actors in black panther are martin freeman, who played bilbo baggins, and andy serkis, who played gollum.

so I guess that means…they’re the Tolkien white guys.

[everywitchway-deactivated201905]

I literally screamed

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you make less than $72,000 or $36/hr, it is worth your time to take a second and pick up a penny.

[polyglotplatypus]

my weirdest hobby is re-creating memes in html so i have a crisp, HQ version of them to use and edit whenever i need

[hell-and-pepsi]

you’re doing god’s work here

[polyglotplatypus]

meme restoration. my hobby is called meme restoration

[dankmemeuniversity]

[ain-t-bovvered]

[amateur]

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

so in 2010 i made a facebook event for my birthday party for this year, because i thought “haha wouldnt that be funny, 2018 is forever away!”. but now it is 2018, and my birthday is in 2 days.

people have been building the hype for the past 8 years

and now im stressed cause i gotta deliver, i had 8 years to make plans and i procrastinated to the last minute. time makes fools of us all

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

The big day came and went. I knew I had to do something special so I turned the party into a SURPRISE MURDER MYSTERY! It’s long so check my twitter post for the whole thing but here are the highlights:

At 10:48pm, I called everyone into my room. There had been a murder, and everybody was a suspect. Next to the body was a gun, and the party goers were quick to find the red fingerprints on it 

They found red fingerprints on a balloon and popped it to find a receipt for gum inside. Someone had been passing out gum all night, however they claimed someone else gave them the gum first.

the argument was going nowhere so we contacted the victims spirit. she led us to the REAL murder weapon: a 100% very real bottle of poison. my roommate claimed he saw someone earlier with that bottle, but before he could tell us…

the power went out! and when it came back on…

my roommate had been murdered! following the clues, we tracked down the true culprit to the bathroom, where he was trying to escape through the window

with the murder successfully solved, the party goers were treated to this congratulatory message on the wall to forever commemorate their success. the other prize was that they didnt have to listen to my fake Savannah accent anymore

[swarnpert]

just like malware is short for “malicious software”, delaware is short for “delicious software”

[bellygangstaboo]

what the hell is going on in this country?!

[tontonmichel-deactivated2022021]

Well damn

[justcariii]

Shit has been bad for a while

[fatcr0w]

Right so this lady was smart, if you’re ever in a sedan-style trunk there’s a little pull tab that you can use to get yourself out that is STANDARD in cars built after 2001. It’s the law just like headlights and seatbelts.

if you are in an SUV style vehicle or newer model car you may be able to find the automatic trunk release wire, pull on it, it will pop the trunk

if you can’t find any of that stuff,look for the brake light housing. You will need to pull back the trunk carpeting and feel about. It’s probably bolted in, but some careful wiggling will dislodge it. If people see a goddamn arm waving out of a hole in a car while they poke along I-95 they likely will do something about it

[msleoduh]

Reblog to save a life….

[davvic]

My cat Bishop sits outside my door every morning once she hears the alarm clock go off.

[pandaflavouredcookies]

The morning murps

[breaktotheotherside]

Someone has waited HOURS to tell you all the gossip.

[thegravelbro]

this is like the cat version of the professor clip of him going “hello!” every morning the same way

[just-shower-thoughts]

There are literally 100s of photos with you in the background, but you have no idea who took them, has them or seen them

[a-luchadork-deactivated20191020]

[schazardous]

birbnana

chickita birbnana

[the-dalm]

!!!!

[imperfectandrecycled]

thepacificparrotlet

[flock-talk]

How does a birbnana fly, do the peels spin around like a helocopter?

[malkavianacts]

New pokemon confirmed

[brucebocchi]

headed to target for a dick appointment

[karnalesbian]

was claire’s closed