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adventurelandia

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

ulibeanzz

happy friday the 13th yall! just some reminders:

be sure to mind cracks in the side walk (only organic ones matter, the straight separating lines dont count)

black cats are tremendously lucky, but you should be kind to one just for the hell of it

dont look in mirrors today.

if you see ladders obstructing walkways, going underneath it is indeed passing through a portal but it just leads to a separate dimension where everything is the same except a lot more people have been named Frank. Don’t recommend. just walk around it

Don’t make eye contact with the suspiciously normal looking people manning said ladders. theyre Franks.

be sure to make your midday tea and stir counter clockwise with a knife

usually youd have to catch a spider in your home and release it outdoors in order to receive a free answer to any question, but today all spiders will give free answers to questions you didnt know you had, but in obnoxious riddles, and it’s more hassle than its worth. avoid

it is perfectly valid to levitate in your room for 10 hours while shouting ancient hymns in an unrecognizable language and then pass out and not remember any of it. you are valid

say hello to any ghost or ghoul you see today! its only polite

however, if you see a doppleganger of yourself, you must follow it, but from a distance. dont let it disappear from your sights before youve had a chance to spot the one difference between you and it and please do remember that slight changes in hair length is usually just the wind moving it in a strange way.

if your doppleganger approaches you, then you’re the doppleganger this year. run

if you happen to catch a glimpse of your reflection and the movement seems off, dont panic! the system will be lagging a bit, nothing serious

candy will be extra sweet today so if you’re into that then by all means

ok keep it sexy, keep it classy, and most of all have fun

fifties-sixties-everyday-life

rhv

seduce me with ur history knowledge

simaraknows

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

danray002-deactivated20241205

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

lapisbitch

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

sirl33te

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

verysadskeleton

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

stitch-n-time

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

kanthia

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

spockyykins

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

obaewankenope

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

nat-20s

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

aphony-cree

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

naphula

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

givemeunicorns

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler) nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

queerstorian

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

lianabrooks

After the Battle of Shiloh in the American Civil War wounded soldiers were going back to camp when they noticed their wounds were glowing. They called it Angel’s Glow and it was dismissed for many years until someone realized that there was a a bacteria in the area called Photorhabdus luminescens which, like the name suggests, glows. The human body is usually too warm for the bacteria to grow, but in the cold temperatures on exposed wounds the bacteria was able to breed and make the soldiers glow.

tsarbucks-deactivated20190812

One time a pope (Pope Stephen VI) exhumed the previous pope’s (Pope Formosus) corpse, and put it on trial for blasphemy in full papal regalia—after which point he was convicted because he didn’t speak up in his own defense. They cut off three fingers of his right hand and tossed him into the Tiber, where he was found by some Roman fishermen. When they brought the corpse inside, they saw the frescoes of their house come to life, and reports of these miracles turned a mob against Stephen. They found him and dragged him to prison, where he was strangled 3 weeks later.

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demiiwhiffin

cannot ! be ! bothered !

twinwillows

january 2015

please do not remove caption

pinkmisspiggy

being touchstarved makes u absolutely buckwild when someone does smth simple like .share a chair with u

pinkmisspiggy

like having someone touch your hand with the tips of their fingers shouldn’t feel like So Much it shouldn’t feel like your whole body is going into anaphylactic shock but here we are. here we are.