butt ugly martian

👽she/her👽bi👽I just post stuff I like👽18+ MDNI👽 34

[katliabitch]

[segamascott]

[wtpmmm]

[aceofpans]

”with shapes.inc you can talk to your ocs!!” Dumbass. I’m already talking to them. In my head. “B-bbut what about your favourite charac-“ skill issue. In my head as well. get fucked.

[chimaerakitten]

Look if a garment is like. Wool or silk. And it’s like, don’t put me in the fucking wash. I’m like yeah of course ma’am I shall lightly dab you with a damp cloth and air you out so you don’t get stinky. But when a polyester garment is like “hand wash only” I’m like who the FUCK do you think you are. You’re plastic. Get in the drum.

[roxey]

my favorite genre of post. if only I could find more

[natalioovski]

[feeshies]

Funny growing up in the late 2000s and seeing constant "don't text and drive" warnings, PSAs telling us to put our phones down behind the wheel, wait until you're home to send that text, a phone-distracted driver is a deadly driver etc etc

Only for modern car manufacturers to be like "we made the car a phone :) now you have to text and drive to change the radio station :)"

[5bi5]

Yelling “we got company” right before being attacked by a horde of enemies probably feels good as fuck for an action protagonist

[wordfather]

goodbye 2023👋hello 𓏏𓉔𓇋𓋴 𓇌𓅂𓄿𓂋 𓇋 𓅃𓇋𓃭𓃭 𓎼𓅂𓏏 𓄿 𓅓𓅲𓅓𓅓𓇌 𓃀𓅱𓇌𓆑𓂋𓇋𓅂𓈖𓂧 𓅓𓄿𓇌𓃀𓅂 𓉔𓅲𓋴𓃀𓄿𓈖𓂧 𓇋𓆑 𓉔𓅂𓂕𓋴 𓎢𓅱𓅱𓃭 𓅃𓇋𓏏𓉔 𓏏𓉔𓄿𓏏

[brightgreendandelions]

my egyptologist friend says this is a (very poorly) phonetically transcribed english phrase "this year i will get a mommy boyfriend"

[wordfather]

okay you werent supposed to know that

[itallstartedwithakiss]

[gumi-megpoidd]

"theyre giving he man pronouns" is one of the funniest things ive heard recently. i cant stop thinking about it. he man. the man with a pronoun in his name. he. theyre giving he man pronouns. incredible

[sandersstudies]

“They’re just looking for attention.”

Oh, a human being is seeking a social response? Human being, the social animal wired to make and track social connection? A human desires the vital blood that permitted their species to survive for millennia? The human being who was born completely helpless and primed in every way by nature to seek attention and help from their community?

Wow that’s crazy. How embarrassing. Humiliating even. Should we isolate them from community? Should we call Wire Mother?

[gonzos-humansona]

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[deceasedcardinal]

[eyexunt]