These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

Taylah

[sassysaidie]

[unexplained-events]

Bigfoot Footage Stabilized

[dogcunt]

me walking to my room after someone makes fun ov somethin im insecure about

[mjalti]

when ur parents start talkin shit about ur personality

[hostilemuppet]

How many brain cells have you lost since joining Tumblr

Bold of you to assume I had any to begin with

[skyrlm]

that bald kid from avatar

[antivancrowsmoved]

bong?

[skyrlm]

water

[gayvian]

no he was an air blender

[whitepeopletwitter]

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

[so-doggone-funny]

gotta keep em on their toes

[yrfriendliz]

http://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-LB-51793 This is honest to god one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. The idea of giving a baby a theme party based on a local personal injury attorney is something i am so jealous of I dont know how to properly put it into words. Also the fact that the lawyer didn’t come to the party somehow makes it even funnier.

[tinseltownturkey-deactivated202]

this is the kind of content i came here for

[loving-women-is-rad]

he didnt come to the party because he sees the baby as a future opponent

[paxamericana]

[f1rstperson]

Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off

[princekarkat]

let me tell you about golf

i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die

the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago

there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world

let the golf industry burn

[ralfmaximus]

There are 15,500+ golf courses in the United States alone. 

Each one consumes ~312,000 gallons of water per day.

That consumption is equivalent to 55+ million humans per day in the United States… roughly 1/6 the entire population.

We simply cannot sustain this frivolity, especially for something 99% of us will never use.

[zooophagous]

Destroy golf courses and plant wild grasses and butterfly bushes in their place.

[damagedpetal]

i wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.

[blackpyrefly]

what the fuck was up with the icarly apartment

[blackpyrefly]

they really had an elevator directly into their apartment and like two or three discrete floors. their apartment was the size of a house and spencer was not employed.

[blackpyrefly]

you dont have to tell me guys i dont actually care

[snotdad]

spencer had an onlyfans

[pisskinkyaoi]

what a horrible, wretched thing to say

[setheverman]

what's your morning routine

suffering

[c-bassmeow]

[neontologist-deactivated2020100]

broooo i was kidding when i asked you to move to a rural italian village with me and start a new life lmao. deadass bro. unless…

[hunger-of-a-dreamer-deactivated]

Tom Hardy and Riz Ahmed are reading IGN comments and Riz read the comment that said “ Venom vs. Predator vs. Alien “ and Tom’s immediate reactions was to say “GANG BANG” and then make a face of REGRET™

he sure as hell is one of us

[edenwolfie]

[antifamutant]

I think he’s years ahead of us.

[ampervadasz]

[saiasus]

[sirfrogsworth]

Wholesome acceptable rat kissing.