Adieu.

안녕하세요. I'm Allison. MN, SD, AL. I love Jesus. I'm 27 years young. 저는 한국어를 배우고 있습니다 - J'apprends le français!

[justcatposts]

He ‘buries’ coffee because he doesn’t like the smell. 

(via)

[allibunni]

My cat does this to any food left behind. I can’t tell if he’s trying to save it for later or if he hates the smell of everything... he even does it to cat food that’s on the floor and he doesn’t want to eat apparently. 😂

[allibunni]

My dad is a police officer, and I’ve felt so many things these past couple of weeks. I’ve done “research” (not the academic definition), and I’ve aimed toward being an informed individual. I’ve recognized my privilege, and the clear racism in the hearts and actions of many (including myself). I’ve soul searched, and done some uprooting of false beliefs and mindsets. I cannot understand what it means to be who I am not. However, I do know that all citizens should have fair and just treatment, and it has not been so for far too long. Going back to my dad being an officer, I know what the job has done to him. I know he “chose” his career, but I know that he has seen and experienced life altering, earth shattering things. He’s cleaned up after murders, done foot chases to find wanted and dangerous criminals. He’s sat with children in their homes until their parents could return. He’s cheered on those he had previously arrested to complete programs to help put a halt to drug addictions, and has fought for the lives of citizens that others have given up on. He’s cried tears for those in whom he sees potential, but keep making poor decisions. He’s gone out of his way to make sure people were safe. He’s dealt with all of the Karens and all the “Kevins,” (male equivalent of Karen) and has worked to diffuse situations that might have turned to extreme violence. Though I’m listing the small fraction of what I know, he’s experienced a list that is so much longer than I can grasp. My dad also worked as an EMT for years. He’s brought attempted suicide victims to the hospital and despite the lack of hospital support, has tried to get people the help and protection they need. Is my dad perfect, absolutely not. Is he a hero? In my eyes, yes. In much the same way as the teacher who believes in you is a hero. A person who advocates for you is a hero. NONE of what I’m saying is to take away from any of the events happening these days. Not at all. And it’s not just to get attention or for people to pat my dad on the back. No. It just breaks my heart that now my dad is under the umbrella of his career and is stereotyped by some as evil. I do believe that the justice system, including police/policing laws and practices must be changed. I don’t have all the answers brainstormed up to list here for how to improve the system. I do think that frequent evaluations, psychological and others should be held, mandatory vacation (for mental health, as some officers will not use up their alloted vacation times), and laws, training, and regulations must be updated. Officers should be held accountable for how they deal with individuals. They should not get away with anything, and should always have their body cams on (if the department has them available). These aren’t fool proof solutions and these changes would definitely take time, boards of approval, and so on. But these are not unreasonable nor unrealistic ideas. I won’t comment on the defunding, because I am not educated enough yet to comment on it. I’ve looked into it, but I’m not at the place where I can make a very non-biased opinion about it at this point. I’m mostly writing this for my own journaling. I’m writing this because I love my dad, and I can’t imagine if it had been him who died for his skin color. It’s also very heart sinking to think of all the many many human lives that were lost. Black lives, that had been ignored and disrespected by police and the law. The fact that many police officers had gotten away with murder and other awful crimes is terrible and needs to be much more strictly regulated. I hope their trials are reopened for further investigation. I also believe we have a Just God, and I pray He instills the wisdom to leaders on the best way to enforce truth and life, love and passion, and all the fruits of the spirit that we all so desperately need.

[oumaimas]

Of Power and Time, Mary Oliver / Liana Finck for the New Yorker

[margesimpsonannoyedgrunt]

[allisonjournals]

I’m Engaged! I am so excited, but...

my closest friends were not excited with me. He flew overseas to see me during my semester abroad in France. We went to San Sebastian, Spain and spent a lovely day hiking, walking by the ocean, eating amazing food and adventuring in a new and exciting place together. He proposed by the ocean at 10:30 p.m. on March 10, 2019. I shed a small tear of joy in the sweetness of the moment. I was so happy to say yes to him, the man I love dearly. We decided to spend at least one day in our happiness together as a newly engaged couple without telling our family and friends. I loved it! It was stress-free; we were so happy, and I could not believe that I was actually engaged! By the second day, we were still in bliss! We were in France, so I had a pleasure showing him my “hometown” whilst being there. I wanted to tell my family, but I was nervous about telling them from overseas and over the phone - not because I did not think they would approve, but because I did not know how to break the news (I mean, it’s not every day you get to tell your parents that you’ve gotten engaged!).  I told my sister first, she was so happy for us! She said that she anticipated it coming soon. I asked for her advice on how to tell our parents since she had already done it herself more than five years ago. It was fun; I was excited; we were excited. Then we told my parents over FaceTime. I had a hard time finding a good transition into “Hey mom and dad, we got engaged!” but my fiancé helped me in the end (he had to do it; he did it so well, too!). They were so excited and happy for us. We were both joyful that both of our families were happy to celebrate with us. But - after a few great days of bliss with the excitement on the ideas of marriage and our love story, I began to get nervous. I knew that my closest friends might not be excited and happy along with us. I questioned it because one of my two closest friends had talked to me about concerns in my relationship with my now fiancé. It had been a rough journey for me just to date him peacefully because I struggled (more then than now, but I still struggle) so much with caring about what other people thought. Caring about what people thought of my decisions/life, etc. held me back from making my own decisions using my own opinions. I was more like a robot allowing myself to only decide on anything if all of the people around me had decided for me. Of course, there is wisdom in asking for advice from people we trust, but I blindly took advice without really asking myself what I thought or felt. My friend had cautioned me against dating him. She told me that she felt that it might not be right and at one point told me that he and I “don’t look right together.” After multiple conversations with her on the subject, I decided to just stop giving her details of my relationship with him. I knew she felt negatively about him, but I did not agree with her. She did not know him, and I felt like she judged him wrongly. I felt awkward telling her about him when I knew it might make her uncomfortable or milk some negative words from her mouth, so I continued my relationship with him without feeling free to talk about him to my closest friend. It kept me anxious all the time, with no peace. About two months before I came to France for study abroad, I had realized the issue of my actions and thought processes, so I started to back up and evaluate myself, my life, my mindsets. I in no way blame anyone for my behavior. My actions were entirely my doing, but I knew it was a problem that had to be changed. So instead of hesitating to let myself get closer to my then, boyfriend because I was afraid of what my closest friend might say, I decided that I wanted to be close with him. I realized that I wanted to, so I did. During this time frame, there was a new distance between me and my two closest friends, who are also my roommates. Academically, I had the hardest semester of college I have ever had in my almost 8 years of being an undergraduate student, but I made it through to winter break! In the past, I had decided to hold back and be afraid of my relationship with my boyfriend. I was afraid because I cared about what my friends thought. I knew one of my friends was unsure about him - which I understand to a degree. Everyone that cares about you wants to be sure that you are happy - that’s a given. Since my boyfriend does not live nearby, it was hard for my friends and him to get to know each other. When he visited, we mainly spent time together or with my family, since my friends live in other towns. My friends may not feel like they know him, which I understand as well. But I am confident that if they did know him closely, they would love him and discover the good that I see in him. I do not need to prove it to them, though, and I wish they could trust my decision. So when the time came for me to break the most exciting news I have ever had to my closest friends, I had major anxiety. Once again, after I thought I had improved my ability to not care what others thought, I was back in the hold of the fear of man. I anticipated the response was not going to be very positive, which made it easier for me when I actually did it. But it breaks my heart that I knew that my closest friends would be shocked and may even say something negative or intrusive on behalf of my very happy news.  When I told people in France, I got hugs; I got people jumping up and down in excitement; I got people asking to see the ring and asking to hear the story. I got excited that they were excited. I was happy that they were so happy with me! They got to meet him too, which was so fun and nice, especially since I had told them about him before he came and proposed. But I knew that I would not get that response from my closest friends, which made it harder for me to be excited to tell them. I tried to tell them naturally, I wondered if it would be better over text or on video. I really wanted to do it on video because it just feels so much better than a text. I wanted to see their faces. I tried to gather us all up with our time differences and our busy schedules. I had my other close friend and roommate gather them together. After two weeks, I finally told my closest friends that I was engaged. I was nervous. I did not present my news with excitement. I presented it with fear and hesitation. I read their energy, which, at the time seemed overwhelmed and impatient. I felt like a burden on their time by asking them to video call. After getting the courage to say it, I remember saying it in a monotone voice. I announced that he came here and visited, and while he did he proposed. I told them that I said yes! There was silence and confused faces. I said it again in slightly different words. There was more silence and maybe a few mutters of “oh, wow…” and after some time “I am just so shocked.” My friend’s mother was there, and she asked me: “How do you know he’s the one?”. The question felt like an interrogation. I was caught off guard. I tried to think freely without trying to impress anyone. I just said that I feel respected by him and that I can respect him because he is wise. But I also mentioned that there are many reasons and that it is difficult to pinpoint why or how I know. She continued to tell me that she is praying for me and wishes me the best. I thanked her. But I still had not heard from my closest friends. I saw that they had very solemn and almost disgusted faces. One of them asked, “So, are you going to do premarital counseling? Because I hear that’s a good idea”. I answered that I was planning on it, and she did not make any more comments until the end of the conversation when she said, “Thanks for calling, bye.”  It mostly pains me that there were no smiles, no congratulations, no positive reactions at all from my two closest friends. Instead, I got questions that had judgment tied to them.  I still do not know how I will act in the future from here. It pains me to think about it. These girls have been my closest friends for years. I always imagined them being in my bridal party. Now I am not sure if I want them there; I am not sure if they even want to be there… which hurts more than I’d like to admit. I keep hoping that I will receive a message in the coming days. I keep hoping that there will be more closure, more words exchanged. I reached out to tell them exciting news - even though I did not present it with a lot of passion and excitement, I do not understand their reactions. People have told me that they are not real friends. I try not to think that way. Up until these actions, these girls have been good friends. No one is perfect. I have no plans on keeping anger stored up toward them for their actions, but I have to be honest with myself that it really hurts. I will forgive them and work through the steps it takes for me to do so, but it does not mean that I will invite them to be in my bridal party. Things have to feel more resolved for me, I think. Maybe I will change my mind later. I do not know for sure.

 Right now, I cannot see them being a part of my wedding willingly, especially with no further discussions or words shared. If neither of them reaches out to talk more about how they feel, or what they think, or to ask me any details, I do not think I would feel comfortable with them standing behind me at the altar. I wished they asked me how he proposed, asked to see the ring, asked to help with wedding planning. I wish they had been excited to help me and be in my wedding. I wish they had been my friends in that moment, but instead, they acted more negative than would a complete stranger. They acted as if I had betrayed them or hurt them. Instead, I have been hurt. But I refuse to play a victim. Okay, I have been hurt - I can heal and move on. I will not act as if the wound never heals and keep remembering it as if it happened yesterday if bumped again. My feelings are real and they matter to me. I hope that my friends also care about my feelings. I truly hope these issues become resolved. If not, I know that there are many other friends and people out there who are supportive of me. I also have a wonderful fiancé who supports me and loves me through this painful process. He is so understanding and patient with me. He could feel annoyed with me because I focus too much on what my friends think. Instead, he understands me and gives me wisdom on how to respond. He encourages me to stay satisfied and happy in our exciting engagement instead of focusing on the negative things around me. Our families support us, which is more important than friends’ support - since the two families merge and become connected. I am just tired and a little upset that there are times when I think of my wedding I am left in tears because those who I considered being my best friends seem so absent, judgmental, and aloof.  I hope they come around. If not, I have found that those I thought were my closest friends truly were not. Which is also painful, but I am happy to find out now rather than later.

[allibunni]

I wrote this about my engagement almost a year ago now. A lot has changed since writing this, filled with pain, during my time abroad in France. I just wanted to put an update out there - for myself - for anyone interested in reading, or anyone who could maybe, possibly relate to my situation. After feeling betrayed by some of my closest friends, I realized that I had many MORE people around me who supported my future marriage. I had so much love and joy in some moments, and then when I wanted to turn to my friends and be excited with them it would vanish. I had to refocus. My emotions were being rollercoastered by external events that I couldn’t stop replaying in my head. I decided to stop, although, admittedly, I never truly stopped wondering about why my friends reacted in that way. I tried my best to stop caring about it, and it worked - but only to a degree. After finishing my amazing semester in France, I had to go home. I was filled to the brim with mixed emotions. Sad to leave my new-found home, new-found friends, beautiful landscape and people, yet so happy to return to my family, a familiar and open landscape, a predominantly English speaking place that I called home. I was also fearful to return, as I was not necessarily back on “good-terms” with my close friends. My friends had messaged me while I was still in France. In their messages, I felt blamed for their negative emotions. I felt like they were telling me that I was wrong, that I was making a mistake. Both of them started their sentences with “I love you and want to be happy for you but...,” which broke my heart. I’m an English major - and if you don’t know the function of the words “and” and “but,” let me give you a little lesson. When you put two phrases or words with “and” it means they’re connected. For example, when you say “I like pizza and tacos” you are saying “I like pizza. I like tacos.” So, when both of my close friends used similar forms of that sentence I understood it as it was written, “I love you but...” and “I want to be happy for you but...” The meaning of “but” is a contrast with whatever comes before it. However, when I told one of my friends how that phrase broke my heart she informed me that it wasn’t what she meant. To this day, I think her heart meant it at that time. She was loving me conditionally. It was exposed in her writing, whether she could admit to it or acknowledge it herself. We eventually talked a little about the whole situation. I wrote my honest and raw feelings, knowing they might make her feel “bad.” I told her how I wished she could have at least said congratulations, and how she was selfish in my moment. She decided not to respond to my message with another message. She asked to call me. I never replied. I couldn’t reply. How could I? She messaged me first, and when I opened up to her in a message - she didn’t want to message anymore. Suddenly, it had to be a verbal conversation. My friend knows me, she knows that I express myself much more clearly through text than through spoken word, where, she tends to be the opposite and finds it easier to communicate through speech. I prefer writing my thoughts, writing messages, because I can organize them, reflect on them, and slow down my brain for a moment just to write them down and analyze. However, I felt that she didn’t want me to keep writing my responses because I had finally had the chance to clearly write out my true feelings about how she reacted and she wouldn’t write her response back. I had finally gotten the guts to stand my ground, and she just wanted to switch over to a voice chat. These were my real, honest, and ugly feelings at that time. So, I refused to respond to her. She never messaged me again, until I was back in America. The other friend, which tends to be more peaceful in all situations almost hurt me more than my very forward, and obviously disappointed friend. I felt more hurt by her because she had always talked positively about my then, fiancé. I had told her that I thought I loved him. She knew more than my other friend did. She knew how amazing of a person he is, she knew that I cared deeply for him, and she had told me that she saw me marrying him. So why did she respond so negatively? So shocked? My honest explanation is that she was with our other friend, who clearly didn’t support me at that time - and she didn’t want to support me openly with that friend around risking their friendship. I believe she was somewhat of a coward, or possibly, she had been lying to me the whole time. Either way, I was hurt by her response just as much, if not more than my other friend. Before I talked to my friend who was clearly against my decision, I was nervous. I didn’t know if she was going to be cold, if she was going to ignore me, if she was going to say anything at all. I didn’t know if she even cared enough about me to ask how my four months in France was. 

By the grace of God, moments before I met her in person - her eyes had been opened. Up until a few minutes before we met, she told me that she was going to confront me about the whole situation. However, she got guidance from someone she trusted who chastised her behavior and thinking. I was met with a friend who was sincerely apologetic for her selfish actions. She told me she was judging our “shorter than normal engagement,” and she thought we were hiding something. We opened up about our feelings, laid them all out, cried together for hours, laughed, apologized for what was necessary. I never expected that; I’ll be honest. I was completely prepared for some sort of coldness and judgment. I was prepared to tell her she was invited to the wedding but not in it. I let her know that every part of me wanted to forgive her regardless, that I hoped that she could also see how she had hurt me. Thankfully, God did that - just in time. Has forgiving her been easy? No. Did it happen overnight? NO. There are still times I feel my jaw clenching thinking about it. I have to repent again. I have to heal again. This friend also sincerely apologized to my, now, husband. He truly appreciated her willingness to admit her wrong and apologize. My other friend also apologized, but not right away. It was awkward for a while. Tense. Confusing. Indirect. However, I believe she was truly sorry and ashamed (not that I wanted her to be ashamed, nor that she should have felt ashamed), which broke my heart. I could not help but forgive her. How could I not, these are two of my best friends?  To be honest, this has been one weird journey. They were both in my wedding. I love them. I am now married - and I live 20 hours away from them. I got married! With my friends' support - after they didn’t trust me. It was the best day... really. And I got to have TWO wedding ceremonies. I am so blessed. Now comes the part that I love the most. A couple months after getting married, the strict friend face-timed my husband and me. She was excited. She announced that she had a boyfriend and said she wanted us to meet him. She turned the camera to one of our very close, male church friends. I laughed. “Good joke! Who is it really?” They laughed. I realized they weren’t joking. They proceeded to tell us about how they ended up together. They were the “couple” everyone thought would happen, but it “never” did... until now. They proceeded to tell us how they dated for a month, how God had been working on their hearts for each other. Then they dropped the real bomb. “We’re getting married.” WHAT? I was ecstatic. Shocked. I was so happy but so confused, however, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I was in taco bell... I annoyed quite a few nearby tables (sorry btw). They let us know the wedding would be soon... maybe April or May 2020. I was shocked, but it made sense. I knew it would be right if that is truly what the two of them believed was right. I never doubted it.  Throughout the process, this friend has kept apologizing to me. She judged our short engagement (a little more than 4 months), but now she’s having a four-month engagement! She even admitted to judging our wedding, and now, she says she understands so much more. She’d say things like, “I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t realize how much you loved him, and now I do. I didn’t realize how real it was. I judged you so much, and I’m sorry.” The list goes on, but to tell the truth - I am so happy for her and my other friend who is her fiancé! I just wanted to share my process of forgiveness. It’s not finished yet. My God forgives me so much, more than I could fathom. His forgiveness moves us to forgive. Moves us to love. Moves us toward working through the raw, painful moments. Sometimes forgiveness accompanies renewed relationships. Sometimes forgiveness accompanies walking away. In this case, I am so thankful that God has taught me and is teaching me how to forgive like He does. I’m still working on it, but I’m so glad I don’t hold onto the bitterness and pain anymore. I’m free!

[allibunni]

South Korea was amazing. I can’t believe God graciously gave me two weddings with the most beautiful man I know, and my parents (all 4 of them). South Korea has a gorgeous landscape, sweet people, delicious food, and I cherish my memories. I hope to return as soon as possible!

[gaelgarcia]

Congratulations to Parasite on winning 4 Academy Awards including Best Picture!

[reeejean]

If you NEED someone who will LISTEN to you, PRAY. GOD is waiting for you.

[allibunni]

There are much more important things to be concerned with than the pronouns we use to call each other. I wouldn’t be offended to be called any gender - because genders aren’t offensive.

[worshipgifs]

Words by D.T. Niles

[worshipgifs]

[alistairradley]

“The voice of sin is loud, but the voice of forgiveness is louder.”

— D.L. Moody

[miharusblog]

ㅇ°USEFUL KOREAN VERBS.

♡ 시작하다 - to start (시작해요, 시작했아요, 시작할 거에요…)

♡ 끝나다 - to finish, end ( 끝나요, 끝났어요, 끝날 거에요…)

♡ 살다 - to live (살아요, 살았어요, 살 거에요…)

♡ 죽다 - to die (죽어요, 죽었어요, 죽을 거에요…)

♡ 있다 - to have (있어요, 있었어요, 있을 거에요…)

♡ 없다 - to not have (없어요, 없었어요, 없을 거에요…)

♡ 먹다 - to eat (먹어요, 먹었어요, 먹을 거에요…)

♡ 마시다 - to drink (미셔요, 마셨어요, 마실 거에요…)

♡ 요리하다 - to cook (요리해요, 요리했어요, 요리할 거에요…)

♡ 만들다 - to make (만들어요 만들었어요, 만들 거에요…)

♡ 사용하다 - to use (사용해요, 사용했어요, 사용할 거에요…)

♡ 하다 - to do (해요, 했어요, 할 거에요…)

♡ 주다 - to give (줘요, 줬어요, 줄 거에요…)

♡ 가다 - to go (가요, 갔어요, 갈 거에요…)

♡ 오다 - to come (와요, 왔어요, 올 거에요…)

♡ 만나다 - to meet ( 만나요, 만났어요, 만날 거에요…)

♡ 배우다 - to learn (배워요, 배웠어요, 배울 거에요…)

♡ 공부하다 - to study (공부해요, 공부했어요, 공부할 거에요)

♡ 가르치다 - to teach (가르쳐요, 가르쳤어요, 가르칠 거에요…)

♡ 읽다 - to read (읽어요, 읽었어요, 읽을 거에요…)

♡ 보다 - to watch/see (봐요, 봤어요, 볼 거에요…)

♡ 일하하다 - to work (일해요, 일했어요, 일할 거에요…)

♡ 운동하다 - to exercise (운동해요, 운동했어요, 운동할 거에요…)

♡ 쉬다 - to rest (쉬여요, 쉬였어요, 쉬을 거에요…)

♡ 일어나다 - to get up (일어나요, 일어났어요, 일어날 거에요…)

♡ 자다 - to sleep (자요, 잤어요, 잘 거에요…)

♡ 앉다 - to sit (앉아요, 앉았어요, 앉을 거에요…)

♡ 울다 - to cry (울어요, 울었어요, 울을 거에요…)

♡ 웃다 - to smile (웃어요, 웃었어요, 웃을 거에요…)

♡ 노래하다 - to sing (노래해요, 노래했어요, 노래할 거에요….)

♡ 춤 추다 - to dance (춤 춰요, 춤 췄어요, 춤 출 거에요…)

♡ 연습하다 - to practice (연습해요, 연습했어요, 연습할 거에요…)

♡ 놀다 - to play (놀아요, 놀았어요, 놀을 거에요…)

♡ 사다 - to buy (사요, 샀어요, 슬 거에요…)

♡ 주문하다 - to order (주문해요, 주문했어요, 주문할 거에요…)

♡ 팔다 - to sell (팔아요, 팔았어요, 팔을 거에요…)

♡ 내다 - to pay (내요, 냈어요, 낼 거에요…)

♡ 기다리다 - to wait (기다려요, 기다렸어요, 기다릴 거에요…)

♡ 찍다 - to take a picture (찍어요, 찍었어요, 찍을 거에요…)

♡ 알다: to know (알아요, 알았어요…)

♡ 모르다: to not know (몰라요, 몰랐어요…)

♡ 생각하다 - to think (생각해요, 생각했어요, 생각할 거에요…)

♡ 말하다 - to talk, speak (말하요, 말핬어요, 말할 거에요…)

♡ 전화하다 - to telephone (전화해요, 전화했어요, 전화할 거에요…)

♡ 얘기하다 - to talk, chat (얘가해요, 얘가했어요, 얘기할 거에요…)

♡ 채팅하다 - to chat on the internet (채팅해요, 채팅했어요, 채팅할 거에요…)

♡ 물어보다 - to ask (물어봐요, 물어봤어요, 물어볼 거에요…)

♡ 도와주다 - to help (도와줘요, 도와줬어요, 도와줄 거에요…)

♡ 필요하다 - to need (필요해요, 필요했어요, 필요할 거에요…)

♡ 타다 - to ride (타요, 탔어요, 탈 거에요…)

♡ 운정하다 - to drive (운정해요, 운정했어요, 운정할 거에요…)

♡ 태어나다 - to be born (태어나요, 태어났어요, 태어날 거에요…)

♡ 사랑하다 - to love (사랑해요, 사랑했어요, 사랑할 거에요…)

♡ 좋아하다 - to like (좋아해요, 좋아했어요, 좋아할 거에요…)

♡ 싫어하다 - to hate (싫어해요, 싫어했어요, 싫어할 거에요…)

♡ 보내다 - to send (보내요, 보냈어요, 보낼 거에요…)

♡ 받다 - to receive (받아요, 받았어요, 받을 거에요…)

♡ 공유하다 - to share (공유해요, 공유했어요, 공유할 거에요…)

[allibunni]

As a future English professor I have a friendly reminder:

Just because someone does not speak a language as “well” as you or as well as most people does not mean you are better than them or that they are worse than you. Judging someone for not knowing grammar rules, vocabulary, pronunciation, etc. is not fair. People shouldn’t be shamed for not knowing what they don’t know. People shouldn’t be seen as “stupid” because they might not have been as fortunate as others in learning a language more thoroughly. I’m a future English professor, and it is easy to sit back and know the English grammar rules I’ve had drilled into my head and cringe and judge anyone who misuses them. That’s not fair. I could sit back and correct my friends each time they’re wrong or do it politely with a heart to just inform them (if they care to know). Language is fluid. It can be modified and shaped like clay. There are structures and rules, but they can be bent. Poets and artists break the rules ALL THE TIME and get away with it. Language is art and can be molded and manipulated. Communicating successfully and communicating with proper grammar are not always the same thing, but using proper grammar in writing and speaking does sometimes help make an argument or a story flow better or more clearly. I am talking about all language speakers, in every language. I’m talking about people who might not have “proper” grammar in their first language or their second, third, etc. Someone who speaks another language and learned your language is not stupid when he or she does not know every grammar rule. That is just silly. Most first language speakers who don’t “specialize” in a language “break” rules every day. Even as an English major, I likely have broken English grammar rules in this very post. I’m not an immaculate speaker or writer. I’m a creative human who likes to play with language whether it’s “proper” or not. So next time you feel like looking down on someone who posts the wrong “their, there, they’re” or something of that sort, don’t judge them. In fact, don’t judge anyone for anything (it’s a good habit not to do so). We cannot blame or shame others for things they don’t know or maybe have forgotten. As a second and third language learner, I have forgotten how to spell some English words. It’s frustrating and not always easy. We are not expected to know everything. Be kind, not judgmental. It will go further than you may think.

[agapewien]

[allibunni]

Going home

I’m going home in 11 days. I’ve been in France for almost four months. I did not keep in close contact with my friends back in the states. The main people I called and talked to were my parents, sister, nieces, and fiancé. I’ve made friends here whom I hope to never forget. I’ve met people from across the globe. Four months isn’t that long; in fact, it is only 1/3 of a year. I blinked and this semester was over. It truly does feel bittersweet to be going back home. I feel happy because I miss my friends and family, the food, the space. I miss what has been familiar my whole life, my comforts. Yet, I am not who I was before. Things have changed me here. My perspective has changed. My ideas. I have seen the world differently. I’ve made bonds with people. No matter if I stay or go, I will be leaving people I’ve met and grown to love behind. This leaving people behind is not a bad thing, but it can be painful. It can be hard, and it can be a confusing struggle. Now I’m finding myself both happy and sad to leave. The feeling is different from my excited, nervous and sad feelings whilst traveling here. I didn’t know what was to come. I didn’t know if I’d make close friends. Now that I’ve made these connections, as fast as I’ve made them, it seems as though they’re slipping through my fingers. This is life. Although I am going back to the place I’ve known as home my whole life, I feel like I’m leaving my home in France now. I feel like I’m leaving one home for another. I realize that it isn’t the place where we have our homes, but the idea of being somewhere where we feel “ourselves.” That place should always be wherever we are. Instead of making one place my home, everywhere can be my home. All of the places I’ve learned about the word, about myself, about others is my home. All of the places I’ve experienced anything at all becomes part of my journey and part of my home. Wherever I go, there, is my home. So, I’m coming home. I never left, but I’m coming home.

[allibunni]

Moi et mon fiancé le jour où nous nous sommes fiancés à Saint-Sébastien en Espagne. C’était très joli et nous sommes très contentes.

My fiancé and me on the day we got engaged in San Sebastián, Spain. It was so lovely and we are very happy.

[allibunni]

Carcassonne, France