Spinning Madly On @allltheinternets - Tumblr Blog

eztehaim-deactivated20210718

I really don’t know what crowd I expected to be in the theatre for carol at 1:20 in the afternoon on a friday but it was probably 85% old people, old het couples and halfway through the movie this old lady in front of me turned to the old dude next to her and just said “harold they’re lesbians”

lerayon

Honoring 10 years of “harold they’re lesbians.” Many happy returns to all who celebrate.

xyrm-deleted-deactivated2018080

escaped medical leech

shadybacon

There are medical leeches!?

jesus-lizard-journal

Yes! They work very hard to get their medical degrees.

roachpatrol

not this one, though. this one’s trying to ditch class.

apathy-tied-in-knots

what was the class, color theory?

yugirl

WHY THE HIFL WOULD YOU HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS!?

definitelynotaminion

Also important to note they’re not random leaches found outside obviously. They’re “sterile” or as sterile as an animal can be, bred in specific environments and kept clean in the lab.

sith-shenanigans

except this one, which is escaping

kosmogrl

november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good november will be good

linusbenjamin

Portal 2 Chapter 9 — The Part Where He Kills You

hellshee

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

sushi1056

deactivated

So thoroughly nuked that there isn’t even any record of their original blog url

ivys-garden

The Forbidden Knowledge

the-post-crow

The notes are broken too…

pastelchaos12

Truly the most Tumblr, Tumblr post

unpretty

“villain attempts to go back in time to kill superman as a small child, gets shot in the face by ma kent, who buries him behind the barn with the others” would probably have niche appeal as a comic but i don’t care, i want it

unpretty

The first time a man from the future showed up at Martha Kent’s house, Clark Kent was two years old.

According to his birth certificate, anyway. She just kind of accepted that the details were a little fudged. Relativity, and all.

Maybe the stranger would have succeeded in whatever it was he wanted to do, except that he really did just show up. Appeared, like a ghost made flesh, right in the backyard. Clark, thank goodness, was out in the fields with Jonathan. He couldn’t bear to be alone, that boy, and they could never bear to leave him.

Which left Martha free to shoot the ghostly intruder in the face.

Martha had not always considered herself a shoot first, ask questions later sort of a person. But that was before she found a baby in a spaceship where her corn was supposed to be.

They’d switch off, Jonathan and her, who got Clark and who got the shotgun. Martha got the shotgun more often than not. Guns made her husband uncomfortable. She was hardly a fan, but she’d always been a terrible pacifist. Too determined to defend herself.

The sight of all that blood and brain and bone was still nauseating. She compartmentalized, told herself it was no different from slaughtering a cow; didn’t think about riot gear or tear gas or the friends she’d lost or all the things she’d moved away from when her heart couldn’t take it any longer. This was different. This was her son.

She prodded the corpse with her foot. It remained a corpse. A real nasty looking corpse, all big and burly and holding a gun much too large. She didn’t like making assumptions based on appearances, but she didn’t imagine he’d been coming for anything nice. She bent down to search his pockets, found a metal wallet and flipped it open.

Born 2018.

Well, hell. Wasn’t that just a kick in the pants?

Probably she ought to have been a bit more unsettled than she was. But she’d been waiting two years for someone to show up on her doorstep, men in black or UFOs or something. Hell, she’d half expected her sweet little boy to hatch into something worse.

Just because she brought home space babies didn’t mean she was a damn fool.

Jonathan had rejoined her in long strides, was holding Clark in such a way that he couldn’t see the corpse on the ground. “Well, shit,” he said.

“Eyup,” Martha agreed.

“Don’t look government.”

“Nope.”

“We burying him?”

“I’ll bury him,” Martha said, standing up. “You get Clark inside and read him a book or something. I don’t want him seeing any of this, getting him messed up in the head.”

“You sure? Looks heavy.”

“That’s why we have a wheelbarrow. I’ll stick him out behind the barn, might as well keep all our secrets in one place.”

Martha had a long time to think as she dug a time traveler’s grave. There were a lot of reasons someone might travel back in time trying to kill her kid. The first was her instinct as a mother, which was: he was a fucking asshole. Who killed a kid? Fucking assholes, that was who.

Now, it was also possible that her sweet little boy grew up to be some kind of space Hitler. She didn’t think she’d raise that kind of a kid, but she didn’t suppose there was any parent who set out to raise a Hitler.

Still didn’t sit right with her. She didn’t much like the idea of killing baby Hitler, either.

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fratboykaradanvers

Thank you so much to @plastic-pipes for doing such an amazing job in making my supercorp dreams a reality :’) I can’t get over how cute and soft this is & I’m so grateful to have been able to have something commissioned by one of my favorite artists!

romanceyourdemons

the clone wars is kind of crazy just from a practical pov. bc as far as i’m aware jedi martial arts were kind of a shaolin thing, taoist temple thing, partially a spiritual-physical exercise partially for self defense. and now shaolin temple has privately contracted an army of one hundred million mercenaries and appointed themselves to be the army’s generals, which is insane from a religious perspective, but ALSO imagine the intensive crash courses on military strategy the jedi temple must have been slamming behind closed doors. everyone memorizing the art of war as fast as they humanly can while simultaneously watching holotapes of nap bimbo’s defeat at Space Waterloo 24 hours before they deploy. frankly it’s amazing they didn’t get wiped out in the very first charge

romanceyourdemons

jedi who had been on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough before deployment and does not want to be here: so we’ll sneak through blunklel pass under cover of darkness, which takes us right into the enemy camp

world’s most patient clone lieutenant: did the general maybe mean a different pass? because blunkel pass is too narrow to use transporters which means we’ll be going through on foot, and it takes us so close into the enemy camp that only the first few are going to have the advantage of surprise before the clankers start picking us off like space fish in a space barrel

jedi: so that’s a bad idea :(

clone: maybe if we made the enemy come through blunkel pass instead….

jedi: so if a small strike force snuck through and. kidnapped their generator?

clone: that could probably work

jedi: yayyyyyy i volunteer to do that :)

clone, very quietly in his comms: you guys need to triple my space booze rations for doing this i swear to the force