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[quality-ctrl-blog1]

can someone tell me how assuming a girl with short hair and wearing ties is a trans woman or a lesbian ISN’T phobic???? or harmful? at all??

like ur sorta also setting these types of standards that may make people feel invalid cuz these arent something they wanna conform to, though the bigger problem lying in the fact that its bad to encourage the nature of assuming things about strangers based on how they dress and also is a bit of a callout and a danger to those who are closeted and just trying to be comfortable in their appearance but they just keep getting called this or that.

also, these headcannons are essentially saying “oh they dress like this so theyre trans. nope, no cis person could dress or look like that at all. nice job passing buddy!”

this mindset some people have is actually very harmful

p.s. butch isnt reclaimed for everyone and is still very often used as a slur so be careful where you use it.

[allosbian]

butch isn’t a slur. and if you’re a man (read: not a lesbian or a trans woman) you probably shouldn’t speak on things like this.

[goobra]

i believe the d slur is used on lesbians bc of their lack of attraction to men rather than for their attraction to women, which is why bi women can't use it

oh worm

[exyclusionist]

just a fair warning, as you're the only online (good) exclusionist i follow, @thousandxarrows is a terf / possibly truscum. they believe trans women are only trans if they transition fully, and constantly reblog from "radfem" / terf blogs.

thanks so much for pointing this out, yeah they’re a terf 

they constantly reblog from radfems and have made their own posts about how they don’t believe that trans women are women and focus a lot on people’s genitalia when having any kind of interaction with them

@ other exclusionists: don’t listen to this fucker

warning for transphobia, transmisogyny, misogyny, homophobia, r*pe mention, and murder mention in links and screenshots under the cut

Keep reading

[exclusionistrowlet]

please boost this! @slimecourse @dare-i-say-asexual @goblincourse @fairyaphobe

[luvivivi-deactivated20170831]

Things that are not okay

-slut shaming

-racism

-homophobia

-bi ppl and ace ppl being in lgbtq+

[rosiemutual-deactivated20180308]

“aphobes aren’t similar to biphobes”

[goobra]

kjsfkasjfdk this person is an inclusionist, they only included the “ace ppl” part to see if people see if people would disagree with the bi part but not the ace part

they’re a blatant biphobe, but are very clearly an inclusionist, as seen in posts like these (x) (x) (x)

anyways, this just continues to prove that inclusionists have a biphobia problem that they refuse to address

[transidentsafe]

PSA

I have noticed that some terfs and radfems use new identifiers, such as “femfem” (female feminist) and “lesfem” (lesbian feminist), in order to not be identified as terfs / radfems anymore.

[bewilderbeast-moved]

its a more well-established term afaik, but “febfem” (female exclusive bisexual) is used by bisexual radfems/terfs so keep an out out for that too

[estroqueen]

Make sure to watch out for these terms everyone, keep your trans woman friends safe!

[maia-roberts]

PSA

[blue-diamond-protection-group-d]

REPOSTING THIS AGAIN, The question i got was just about why i do not allow LGBTQ+ stuff on the blog! (Admin Girl Speaks)

I won’t go into to much detail as to why since i really don’t want to start a fight since most misunderstand me and get very angry with me when i bring it up, but to cut it short i’m a Christian and by my own choice i follow the Bible whole heartedly and follow God’s and Jesus’s word fully!

And due to that i think the LGBTQ+ community and anything to do with it is wrong due to it clearly saying in the Bible it is wrong and i refuse to see “Christians who think LGBTQ+ things are ok or who support the community.”

As Christians since they agree with somthing the Bible has said is wrong. But do not misunderstand me to be the type who goes around with a sign saying that “Oh you guys are all wrong and your life choice is bad!”

No, i don’t seek to anger that community nor can i change anyones view on the world thus i just go on with my day, but if anyone were to ask me if LGBTQ+ is ok in my opinion i would calmly say no and move on with my day.

(Admin Girl Speaks)

(NOTE: THIS IS ALL MY OPINION SO PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME AND GET ANGRY, THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WAS TYING TO DO!)

(EXTRA NOTE: I WILL NOT BE AWNSERING ANYMORE ASKS LIKE THIS ONE! OR MESSAGES RELATING TO TOPICS LIKE THIS!)

[allosbian]

op do you realize that the show you're basing your blog around has a whole cast of lgbt characters

[discourse-wizard]

Seeing blogs take asks like “i want romantic relationships but i’m aromantic” and replying with like “you’re quiromantic, cupioromantic, etc” is so frustrating.

You shouldnt just brush someone’s complicated feelings towards relationships with “i have a word for that” people need to question why they feel that way and if they are okay with feeling that way.

In the example above it could be that the person actually isnt aro, or they have trust issues or internalized homophobia to work through. Slapping them with some obscure label makes potential issues never resolve.

[littlealienproducts]

[hatemedaddy-blog]

Alright this is just offensive

[gaypitbull]

how

[allosbian]

cry us a river hetty spaghetti

[sleepyaphobe]

“so gay” “asexuals-” uh asexuals aren’t gay unless they gay aces but okay

[candid-corvid]

Give it up for ace phobia y'all. Alive and thriving you fucking walnut.

[sleepyaphobe]

this just in pals saying aces aren’t gay is aphobia

[jevilcore]

Gay couple: *holds hands*

Cishet ace:

[ziathal]

framing the lesbian community as an unsafe place that’s full of bad people and immediately following that up by saying that you, a non-lesbian, flinch when you see ‘lesbian’ in someone’s url… is lesbophobic. sorry you don’t get to turn that around. if you wanna call out bad rhetoric or ways that you think subgroups of people have made the lgbt community unsafe then go right ahead

but there is a whole ass WORLD of difference between that and saying that ‘lesbian’ has somehow become a dirty or unsafe word and then trying to qualify your lesbophobia by saying that you feel sorry for lesbians for having a community that’s “infested”

there are people across the entire spectrum of genders and sexualities who are in the ace discourse. and there are bi terfs and straight terfs…. and yet you choose to specifically target lesbians (not that cishet ace exclusion is in any way comparable to violent transmisogyny)

and when people call out your lesbophobia you block them before they have a chance to defend themselves

how much more do lesbians have to put up with before people realise that it’s not okay specifically vilify us when you’re talking about things that are not inherently connected to the lesbian community?

@rapunzcorona

[earthmoonlotus]

Have fun reblogging from a fucking pedo apologist

…who? (And if you’re gonna say courteousmingler, please actually read her words. She has no sympathy for pedophiles whatsoever.)

[lemon-bunny]

courteousmingler reblogged a post about how stim blogs who are anti-dd/lg and anti-incest are ableist, despite many of those blogs being run by minors and CSA survivors.. calling being anti-dd/lg and anti-incest “SWERF behavior”.

 she’s friends with autismserenity who condones people consuming child porn.

she’s interacted with tenitchyfingers who has a side porn blog for incest and child porn art (major trigger warnings for link). and considering courteousmingler never reblogged one of the many callout posts for tenitchyfingers circulating both sides of the discourse..i have a feeling she sees nothing wrong with this.  

courterousmingler constantly attacks other survivors, trying to discredit their experiences, labelling many of them as abusers/apologists. (X, X, X, X). 

she claims pedophilia is a mental illness, despite the DSM-5 specifying that a paraphilia IS NOT a disorder, it’s the distress/impairment that comes from having intrusive paraphilic thoughts that can develop into a disorder. also, there’s no actual evidence that the method of therapy she supports is effective. 

not only has courteousmingler shown plenty of sympathy for pedophiles, she’s shown complete disdain for survivors.

and uh literally anyone who labels anti-dd/lg and anti-incest bloggers as ableist SWERS and defends pedophiles is going to get backlash! especially from survivors!!! this has nothing to do with with her being a trans woman. 

and considering this started with me calling you out in the tags about you deleting a post about not misgendering trans women, stop fucking pretending to care. considering you’re a cis person who loves comparing a bunch of trans people to TERFs, a hate group that targets us and literally influences our access to basic human rights (X, X) stop pretending to respect us.

[goobra]

stop fucking bullying @yall-artemis-was-asexual, they're a good person. you're dumb as fuck

really? you’re honestly going to try and say they’re a good person?

would a good person defend the idea of reverse racism ?

would a good person be simultaneously lesbophobic and transphobic by saying that trans men can call themselves lesbians ?

would a good person refuse to stop using a homophobic slur after being repeatedly told by actual gay people that it’s a slur (more than once) ?

would a good person lie about being a hellenic polytheist just so they could argue that they believe artemis is asexual ?

would a good person ignore how non-asexual lgbt people are targeted and abused by the homophobic and transphobic medical system ?

would a good person accuse a mentally ill person of lying about their mental illness, as well as accuse me of lying about my triggers (context here) ?

and as a bonus, would a good person try and police asexual identities ?

stop defending them. stop supporting them. stop giving them a platform. they’ve shown us their true colors TIME AND AGAIN.

[lesbiansforjohnnymarr]

lgbt people: *have safe spaces*

The Cishets:

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities

Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him

Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)

Picking a guy at random to be attracted to

Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing

Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them

Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with

Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them

Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them

Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man

Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness

Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic

Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually

Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends

Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals

Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless

After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted

OR: preferring to ‘be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore

Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred

Using sex with men as a form of self-harm

Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)

Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it

Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him

Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing

Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women

Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else

Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)

Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend

Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic

Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent

Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate

Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”

When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”

Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people

Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)

Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The ‘straight’ version of you

Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women

Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media

Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”

Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men

Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic

Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+

Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman

Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman

Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know

Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position

Really focusing on the women in het porn

Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’

Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that

Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian

Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy

Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian

Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you

Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian

Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man

Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be

Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy

Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly

Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men

Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you

Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake

Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

[whynotzoidbergdotorg]

I feel bad for the lesbian community because of the terfs and aphobes that are infesting it, like a fucking plague. Like I actually flinch a bit when I see someone with “lesbian” in their URL now because it feels like too many people with that in their URL are hateful and that’s fucking terrible cause lesbians don’t deserve that. Especially ace and trans lesbians :/ I hate all exclusionists.

[discourseful]

as a lesbian? fuck off. i don’t want your pity or your thinly veiled lesbophobia.

[exclusionistsideblog]

nice job comparing lesbians who don’t think cishets are lgbt to violent transphobes. this post is lesbophobic garbage

[lesbeans-on-toast]

* i flinch when i see someone with lesbian in their url because im a textbook lesbophobe and no amount of performative transparent commentary about ace and trans lesbians can cover it up

fixed your post

[homoethotic]

God just fucking delete op