✨Ray ✨ @alloutofdecency - Tumblr Blog

loveridden1999

girl whatever

killxbunnyyy

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

myfairynuffstuff

Mitsuru Koga (b.1987) - Black Cat. 2015. Pencil, gesso on panel.

omtai

Lolll *washes up unconscious on the shore* Yaaaaayyy

skys-archive

The more I read about the "treatment" for amplified pain disorders and the guy who created it the more I think no this is fucking insane.

"Put them (usually children AROUND 12 YEARS OLD) in as much pain as possible through 6 hours of daily pt for up to 6 or more weeks"

"They do not talk about their pain or pain level at all, we only ask if the activity is easy, medium, or hard"

"Not everyone is a good fit for this program because it can further traumatize them"

"They cannot take pain medication or anything related like nausea medication during the treatment"

The guy who created it says that the invention of the pain scale has caused more people to develop chronic illnesses "because they're thinking more about pain" and by not thinking about it you will be cured.

Treatment for amplified pain disorders doesn't focus on treating the pain or making you feel less pain, it focuses on putting you in enough pain and desensitizing you (and almost surely traumatizing you) to the point that you just do everything through the pain.

And if you're teaching , again, CHILDREN that because the pain won't injure them they should just push through it even though supposedly it's one of the most painful disorders to have, what do you think is going to happen if they do get injured? If they get ulcers, or strain a muscle, or have chest pains because of a heart issue, or any other problem you can't obviously see? What are they supposed to just assume it's nothing?

And of course this isn't just children because adults have AMPS too they're just usually diagnosed with something more specific like fibromyalgia or CRPS, but this is especially horrible for children who's brains are growing and don't have the capacity to understand as much that this is wrong.

Why is your "treatment" to put usually children in as much pain as possible for up to months on end? So, what? That they essentially give up and assume they'll always have to push themselves far beyond their limits because, "it won't injure you", right? "It's just pain", right? Even though they're in excruciating pain?

Do you understand how unbelievably fucked that sounds?

heyatleastitsnotcancer

There's a famous amps program where I used to live. The hospital would incorrectly diagnose a lot of patients with amps when they had stuff like juvenile arthritis, eds, etc. It did permanent damage to these kids and is known in the community to be straight up abuse. The stories that came out of it are terrifying.

alloutofdecency

I was in one of these programs and I’m still fucked mentally today. My wife, friends, and family members have such a hard time understanding why I can’t allow myself to rest or respond to my medical concerns and I only realized recently where this all came from.

I struggle to differentiate pains and even connect to any sort of issue in my body without dissociation. As one can imagine, I also developed substance misuse and abuse problems because self-medicating was the only way I could keep up with the demands of emulating my “able” bodied. Although using my cane prevents me from falling, I can’t use it without feeling immense shame for “giving into my body.”

Our parents were told to never ask us about our pain because then they’d be giving us too much attention. I was also told I can’t nap or lay down at all during the day (parents were also told to enforce this strictly) and to this day, I still can’t take a nap unless I’m heavily medicated because of the stress I start to feel about “falling back into being dysfunctional.” It also prevented me from getting diagnosed with Juvenile idiopathic arthritis and EDS which caused years of unnecessary damage to my joints. I’m more advanced educationally and professionally than my able bodied peers but only because I was traumatized to believe I was worthless if I gave into my “incorrect” pain perception and the idea of rest sends me into panic.

Felt good to say all this!