What if, in a wild twist of events, it turns out that there is no Valdo Marx? Or rather, there is but he has never been seen in the same room as Jaskier. Because, being the dramatic fool with a penchant for attention, Jaskier knew that every greatest person in history had an arch nemesis. Being young and foolish, he had decided that he was too lazy to find someone who is worthy of being considered his opponent so…Jaskier created Valdo Marx.
It was amazing how a fake goatee and a change in accent seemed to fool people. To start with, it was great fun. Jaskier got to exercise his worst ideas and songs in public without having them attached to his name. Problems started later though, as both Jaskier himself and him as Valdo Marx began to gain fame.
Invitations started pouring in and Jaskier could avoid them as a travelling bard and, while Geralt was out on contracts, he could sneak to do performances as Valdo at courts. Really, the trouble only started when both Jaskier and Valdo Marx were invited to the same banquet. Not an issue as such, Jaskier wanted to do it as Valdo and replied, accepting the invitation. Unfortunately, Geralt got invited too, half to enjoy himself and half to work. And, considering Geralt was going, Jaskier was assumed to be going too.
Turning up at the banquet, Jaskier nodded and greeted people, explaining that yes, he had the good fortune to have the banquet and his travels line up. Yes, it was almost as if the stars had aligned to make it happen. In his lute case was Valdo’s outfit.
Thankfully, while Geralt was distracted, Jaskier slipped off and changed, making a grand entrance as Valdo. He just had to hope Geralt didn’t pay much attention. Valdo played a few songs then announced he needed a break. Cue Jaskier’s magical reappearance. He laughed, claimed he needed to leave so his ears wouldn’t bleed while his arch nemesis assaulted the ears of those in attendance. People asked him to play and, for a not so modest fee, he hopped up onto the stage. Twice the pay for the same amount of play was so worth it.
He alternated between Valdo and Jaskier for a few hours, laughing, drinking and having a merry time. Throat strained from all the singing, Jaskier hopped off the stage and made his way to Geralt.
“Fucking hell, this is a crazy crowd,” he sighed and leaned against Geralt’s arm. What Jaskier didn’t expect was to be coldly shaken off.
Hand coming up to dramatically cover his mouth and cheek, Jaskier felt the fake goatee under his palm. Shit. He nodded to Geralt.
“I wouldn’t call that talentless wastrel who panders to the masses a bard.” Before he could say more, he flounced off and cursed his own idiocy. Hopefully Geralt hadn’t cottoned on.
Once again in the correct attire and sans fake goatee, Jaskier sidled up to Geralt with a cheeky grin.
Geralt stared at him for a long second, obviously, finding something about Jaskier to be amiss. After a blink, Geralt grunted.
“It’s better when that warbling peacock isn’t strutting around like an embarrassment to bard culture.”
Jaskier sighed in relief that Geralt hadn’t realised he was Valdo Marx. However, his chest puffed up indignantly. As much as he decried Valdo Marx’s skills, only he was allowed to do that. He was not an embarrassment to bard culture!
Torn between agreeing and arguing, Jaskier missed the teasing smirk that played on Geralt’s lips.
areudirty
kianamaiart
yousharknotpass
kaledo-art
tangentwithtanner
annaxmalina
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
turnnoffyourmind
