bi-furious

existence is pain

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[star-mom-selkie]

happy pride month

[halobats]

this has reduced me to tears

[redstonedust]

sticks my finger in the barrel of your gun so it backfires on you looney toons style but the gun moaned and now none of us know what genre we're in.

[heron-knight]

Vampire girl explaining that vampires don’t necessarily have to kill someone to drink their blood, but she did kind of kill a lot of people back when she was all depressed pre-transition: “when I was an egg I ate four dozen lads”

[kosmogrl]

september was practice… in october I’m getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in november I'm getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in december I’m getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in february I’m getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in march I’m getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in april I’m getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in may I’m getting my shit together

[simplyjustfucked]

[counterpick-me-irl]

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

[viralfrog]

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

do things you “grew out of”. jump in puddles, bake cookies with your mom, build something from legos, have a disney movie marathon, draw without any final product in mind, read a cringe-worthy YA novel, finger paint, sword fight and cast spells with sticks, chase after fireflies and butterflies, write dramatic diary entries, build pillow forts, sample multiple flavors of ice cream on the little spoons, roll down hills on sunny days, go sledding when there’s snow, never stop dreaming big.

[parakeet]

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

[tastylemonbread]

daddy wants to see yall on yall baddest behavior. lend me some sugar. I AM your neighbor.

[thatnoulguyorsomething]

I genuinely cannot tell if this is supposed to be a horny post or House of Leaves inspo. Great job, op.

[tastylemonbread]

secret third option actually. now, don't have me break this thing down for nothing

[rustingbridges]

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

[do-you-have-a-flag]

[xaveria]

noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”

[xaveria]

this is the correct response btw