A Written Process Of Getting To The Love & Other

Love, shows up in many ways, and below is my process to love, which I’ve decided to share with all of you. I mostly “love bomb” by appreciating and publicly celebrate love when I recognize and feel it. When I’m not loving, since I’m human, I’m trying to get back to that place. All of my feels are repped, honest, and honored. I honor your process as well. Here’s to finding our collective love, and staying there as often as possible. -Kari Keillor (Above background photo: Heaven and hell album cover from Black Sabbath. 💕)

[theuniversalscat]

In every way, shape, and form.

Because I’m being stalked by more than one person, I had to block all of my current followers.

I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused honest, kind, and respectful people. 

[alovevigilante]

Still under construction…

[alovevigilante]

We humans, are like cars. We need tune ups and constant maintenance. Although we don’t depreciate with time, although some don’t see the value in older people, my theory is we’re like cool, vintage priceless models. (Not America’s best top, but, our own classic versions of ourselves, but only better.) only we don’t always feel that way. My personal process to feeling better, is like how one would drive a stick shift. You are in control of the acceleration, and how smoothly you transition from one energy to the next.

The way we think, is like how we accelerate in a car. (I’ll write more later, so the transition to my next part of this blog is clunker, like my car analogy without completion. Just consider this upcoming transition, “the car’s in the shop”. Thanks!) car 🚘 😉

Starts with undesired conscious/subconscious streaming thoughts.

1. Choose to feel better by interrupting the thought/thoughts by (sometimes literally) saying “stop” and “shift” in my head.

2. Then, the word “blank” to create space from the former energy flow, to reboot, and go neutral.

3. Then feel into my body for a better thought that supports the better feeling. (Not literally, but hey, whatever works for you…)

4. If all else fails introduce a fast action to interrupt the undesired thought flow, ie getting up and moving to another room, exercising, doing something that jars the mind to another thought track.

5. Deliberately deciding to feel for better after the action, and starting from 1. again.

6. Thinking the better feeling thought. Could be a neutrally charged non sequitur, usually is… ie. boy, I sure love avocado toast… Let me see if the ones I bought from the store are ripe. Maybe I’ll make guacamole… etc.

Don’t like avocado toast? Choose something neutral that does it for you. It should be a topic or subject you introduce into your thoughts that do not remind you of your former subject you were just thinking about, and feeling badly experiencing. Pick a topic that allows you to feel even.

Neutral energy is the through point to better. You must hit neutral first before you go to ok, good, great then stellar. It’s like an accelerometer, only measuring emotional energy.

Inadvertently you may be triggered into a negative thought process that can affect your mood by things you encounter during the day that can upset you into this non healthy momentum of thought. And it can pick up and snowball faster than you can sometimes become consciously aware of. Just stop, shift, go blank, reboot, and feel.

This process takes daily practice and may feel clunky at first. But clunky is a judgement as well that will eventually subside by sticking to the process, and feeling your desired results.

How do you, actively choose to feel better? Entertain that as often as you can. All better results will not vary. 😉💓

[alovevigilante]

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☺️

[alovevigilante]

“Morning has broken

Like the first morning…”

When you allow love to infiltrate your thoughts first thing in the morning, it sets you up for your entire day.

I usually wake up with anxiety, full of generally unhelpful thoughts. But my choice to move, both physically and emotionally past the thoughts of past opens the path to enjoy and be fully available for my present moment I’m experiencing. And nothing feels better than that.

Every moment you choose to align with your own well being can be like your “first morning”; a fresh start to feel something better. It’s a new opportunity to choose to express love not only to yourself, but to the world around you. 💓🌅

-"Morning Has Broken" is a Christian hymn first published in 1931. It has words by English author Eleanor Farjeon and was inspired by the village of Alfriston in East Sussex, then set to a traditional Scottish Gaelic tune, "Bunessan".[1] It is often sung in children's services and in funeral services.[2]

Made pop culturally known by Cat Stevens.

🌅

[alovevigilante]

Love, comes out in all kinds of unexpected ways… 🙈🤷‍♀️💓🤣

[alovevigilante]

Just another reason to go to Starbucks (besides the fact that they put something extremely addictive in their tasty in their lattes… 💓🤔😉🙈 ☕️ 🤷‍♀️🤣)

[alovevigilante]

“She’s shameless.”

“She should be ashamed of herself.”

“Of her behavior.”

“Of her looks.”

“Of her writing.”

“The way she presents herself in public.”

“Her filthy house, her filthy mouth, her demeanor.”

“The way she carries herself. The way she dresses, her weight. How she interacts with others… She should be ashamed…”

I have endured this internal badgering long enough. This judgmental energy lingers long after I’ve experienced it on the outside of me. Sometimes energy lingers, when you have a memory like a steel trap, and are afraid of being judged so harshly like that again. My internal judges have taken over for my external ones, and have labeled people I no longer have in my life forever the perpetrators of the very thing I do to myself on a daily basis. They,unfortunately, have no way back in, even if they wanted to.

I have a very tight leash on my fear. On my hurt. On my way of coping with failed expectations and disappointments in relationships. The last time I let someone in? Good question. I am practicing on people I am able to trust more easily. But the practice has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with my allowance of love.

If I listen to the loud voices in my head they usually are reminding me of past experiences I don’t want to repeat. “Did you notice how they excluded you? Remember when he/she said this or that?” And it was hurtful. Not just the experience, but the recollection. And I have complete control over that, right?

Sometimes your inner voice is as callus as other people can be. And when you’re accustomed to feeling pain, your thoughts can immediately pattern your fears subconsciously. And that patterning sets me up for the expectation of the same to occur in every subsequent situation thereafter.

Sometimes it’s hard to go back to people who have hurt you. So how do you reconcile it within yourself? What about when you hurt you? By entertaining shame and self loathing, you are. And the person I need to get honest with, and tp heal things with first, is me.

I’m going from “shameless” to “shame-no”. (Cut the word “shame” off when you begin to say the word, “no”. And be pretty forceful when you say, “no”. Here, put an exclamation mark after it.. So it’s “shame-NO!” Like you would yell it in a self defense or Krav Maga class. Like “shame” is going for your neck to choke you, but you grab that crap by the thumbs, peel back and knee it in the balls really fast while yelling it.) Because if you put the negative in front of the noun, it won’t interrupt the thought, allowing you to be affected by the activation of the energy of “shame”in your mind by the mere mention of, or in this case writing, it, and your attention to it.

My goal is to be “without internal shame affecting me and my life in any negative manner”. Because why hold that energy? It holds me down and back, and doesn’t allow the “me” I want to be to feel safe enough to reveal myself due to internal and fear of more external judgement.

No more self opposition. No more focus on this. Sisyphus out. (Boulder drop)

[alovevigilante]

More. 🙈🤷‍♀️

[alovevigilante]

Tiny pickle knows what’s up… I’m having a “Sisyphus” kind of day… 🙈🤷‍♀️🤣 🥒

[alovevigilante]

All the beauty in this world, is divine guidance in action, because someone chose to feel into it, and to follow. -Kari Keillor

[alovevigilante]

To whomever wrote this… 🦄 🦖😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸🌈 🍀 💎💓 🤔 🙈🤷‍♀️🤣

[alovevigilante]

Current fach

[alovevigilante]

Aaaahhhhh Ahahaha!!!! (Sigh)

[alovevigilante]

I needed this… 💓 🐑

[alovevigilante]

Happy love day to all. 💓

[alovevigilante]

Heart.

Everyone has one, but not everyone uses it to it’s fullest capacity. It’s a killer rock band, yes, but it’s also a way to describe the presence of love. Why is the heart usually so closely linked to the energy of love? Why is it the symbol of that wonderful feeling? And the word “heart” has so many charged idioms. Hearts can be broken, and hearts can be healed, and hearts can be full…. The list is endless. Let me feel on this for a moment…

The heart, anatomically speaking, is basically the center of your body. Moving down from the top, you have a head, a neck that houses your throat, an esophagus, lungs, rib cage and there, nestled securely, is the organ that is attributed to massive happiness. Americans even dedicated an entire day to celebrate it.

Love, figuratively, is housed in the heart. And a belief in love, is what gets us through life in a more balanced and peaceful way. The thought of love conjures all kinds of excellent feelings within the body from a physiological perspective. Love is complex, and comes in many ways and places in your body.

When I feel love, I feel a warmth in my chest cavity, that emanates outward to my torso and other extremities that I won’t go into. It’s a physical manifestation that I can explain and experience. And there’s all different styles and types of love to feel.

One love, is commonly called “puppy love”. I love my dogs, and when I see them, I start speaking in tongues in a very high pitched voice. But even though the words are utter nonsense, my dogs know that it’s love, and it’s all for them. It is transferred in a very direct way. And it is always appreciated and returned by them.

Another kind of “puppy love”, the collective “they” also call having “a crush”. I’m too old and tired for that kind of love, and I don’t feel that crushing puppies is kind, no matter how much you “love them and squeeze them and call them George…” (ala the overly exuberant monster from the old bugs bunny cartoon) and is not my cup of tea... anymore. 🙈🤷‍♀️😉🤣 https://youtu.be/jPdHaNr0OAY

Unconditional love is a love you can experience that feels freeing, and open, like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. You may experience this after you had something wonderful happen in your life. You may be so overwhelmed by the feeling of that amazingly stellar event, person, experience then feeling thing from the outside of you that it will wipe all of the crap feelings you’ve been holding clear away.

So much so, that you may be inspired to call up an old friend you no longer talk to, cause you have been holding a grudge for years cause they got your same new haircut, or bought the same outfit as you and wore it to the prom, so everyone thought you were the unoriginal copy cat, but in actuality you showed it to them first all excited about it, and they went out and bought it after you, and since they were prettier, thinner and more popular, so you looked like the Dufus and they became prom queen, so you got mad, and the pig’s blood fell on your head making your dress even uglier than it was before because late 80s/early 90s and not flattering, and you snapped, and systematically burned them and the gym down figuratively (in your mind) forever after that. (This was a made up story, partially by Stephen King, but it proves my point…whatever you take from it.)

But this great thing that happened to you was so fantastic, that you forgot all about that terrible situation of 80s/90s fashion and high school bs, and now you love the entire world, but unfortunately because of your past upset, you don’t have anyone to share it with, cause you held grudges, and listened to Urrrsher when he sang to everyone and you to listened. And he sang “Let it burn” and you took that piece of advice WAAAAAYYYY too literally, and proceeded to burn that shit, and all your relationships for the last 30 years WAAAAAYYYY to the ground. What do you want from you? You’re an overachiever in that regard only. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but Urrrsher doesn’t know you, and how far you’d take that advice cause you went nutball cause of your former, more sensitive emotions and upsetting feels that felt so big at the time but now with time and your more deliberate more positive focus doesn’t feel quite as bad anymore, so you can’t blame him. Just love and learn.

But this love feeling you feel right now feels great! And it even outweighs your current situation of being friendless in the present. You may even be so in love with the feeling of love at this point, that you say, “the hell with it! I’m ok with myself, and not mad at anyone or anything anymore!” And you may even be so inspired by the feeling that love brings that you decide to make a pilgrimage to the highest pinnacle in your neighborhood and yell for the 4 old ladies that are home during the day (because it happened before Covid) to hear, “I’m so in love with what just happened to me, that no one or no thing can get me down! Wheeeeee! I love the feeling of love!” Its a great feeling, that comes from the heart, or so “they” say.

So wouldn’t it be fantastic if we can control that feeling, by entertaining better more stellar thoughts the majority of the time? We can, actually. That’s a really solid and consistent way to stay “heart” healthy. Since we all have one, that may be of interest to everyone. 💓😊