Let's do this bro

Knitter, student, occasional rambler. Marvel enthusiast. Getting through college. In and out of the internet.

[eif1e]

[alpaca-bro]

Lookin at you, Frenchie

[sizvideos]

A pediatrician shows how to calm a crying baby (Video)

[ladycreep-deactivated20201127]

Babies are weird. I don’t like that they cry a lot. I cry a lot and I can’t have that kind of competition in my life right now.

[kween-geetaaa]

I do this to my son and it works lol

[sharmakeswife-deactivated201809]

Reblog to save a parent

[the-headless-king]

Reblog to save a concerned uncle who has no idea what the hell they are doing. (E.g. Me)

[johnfkennedaddy]

What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”

[farashasilver]

Honestly I just want an AU where Harry approached all his magical problems with muggle solutions. Nobody knows how to handle it because he’s supposed to be there learning magic but you know what, it fucking works.

Give me Harry Potter who is like fucking MacGuyver up in this shit, creating his own non-magical solutions to magical problems.

“Potter how did you get past the enchanted keys to the Sorcerer’s Stone?”

“I used a fucking net.”

[octoberreads]

“How did you get past the dragon?”

Harry shines a little red light on the wall “works on cats, why not a dragon”

“How did you get through the hedge maze?”

“Weed-b-gone, it’s like a pound. Nothing will ever grow there again”

[inspectorclarke]

“How did you kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?”

“Shotgun.”

[petits--oiseaux]

😂😂

[soma-prime-incarnon]

In the Chinese localisation of Overwatch,Reaper is predictably named 死神 (si-shen),which means grim reaper/shinigami/death god/what have you

However,a common nickname for him as a result is 屎神 (shi-shen),which instead means “shit god”.

Or more precisely,”shitlord”.

[femonologue]

@block-of-writers @faun-songs I feel like you would get a kick out of this

[alpaca-bro]

OMG Gabbie have you seen this?@itselliebrown 

[nyctosaurid]

vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special

[alpaca-bro]

My sister was reading a really shitty werewolf thing and the dude randomly whispered, I shit you not, “I’m a werewolf and I’m hungry.”

It wasn’t the full moon, it wasn’t even nighttime yet, like.....

My response was “What, you want Taco Bell? There’s a Burger King up the street, or we could go out someplace and sit, hit up the grocery store... what, what you want?”

[obviousplant]

I have cured your fear of public speaking

[maxvalentine420]

calling asexuals

ok do any of y'all really Dislike shirtless pictures of guys?? like you see an attractive guy with a shirt on and it’s nice but as soon as his shirt’s off you’re OUT I can’t be the only one idk if this is an asexual thing or not but

[alpaca-bro]

IDK, since I’m in the medical field, I just switch to a mindset of analyzing the form and health of tendinous inscriptions and serratus anterior and where pectoralist major inserts onto the humerus. That, or I switch to the same view that I have at an art gallery. Oh, that is a neat example of the marvel of the diversity of the human form and experience, that is a super neat and unique human form, coolio! 

I get super enthusiastic about a lot of things, sometimes in weird ways. I hope this is a different way of thinking about it? Or maybe a different opinion?

But yeah. A guy is more attractive if he’s clothed. Preferably in something that would be super comfy to lay my head against (shoutout to thick cushy sweaters!)

[spitandvinegar]

New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up

- that man really salts my melon!

- you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken

- a louse will live on any head it lands on

- don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows

- there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big

- like digging a pond and hoping for ducks

[faedex-blog]

This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

[alpaca-bro]

Wait these were jokes? 

...

oops. Lowkey was gonna use some of these.

(PS i love the southern way of using innocuous sounding analogies to drag someone. It is an ART if done properly. They can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you’ll look forward to the trip!)

[awpayne]

tag yourself i’m cactus

[alpaca-bro]

Lampshade. Maybe Santa if I’m in a Mood. 

[d-mnitfrankenstein]

[otterandterrier]

@alrightanakin

[marisatomay]

DELETE THIS

[ohmyvengers]

When you see your best friend

[imaginexhobbit]

Why are flies called flies? Isn't that the dumbest thing ever? If we started naming things after their abilities, why are fishes called fishes and not swimmies? Swimmies sounds much more adorable.

…………….swimmies oh my god

[fortheyestosingalong-deactivate]

People who “don’t understand” trans, nb, & generally people who aren’t cis make me laugh because fuck i don’t understand Korean but I still know it’s a real fucking language

[theverge]

[iscoppie]

so here’s my original flavoursaurs! these animations are almost 3 years old, and i cobbled them together entirely on photoshop… woof! but i’m still proud of them :)

[kuhli-fr]

citrusheart-fr!!!!

[alpaca-bro]

OH MY HOLY GOOD GRACIOUS SOMEONE CALL THE MEDICAL AUTHORITIES I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE

[cheeze225]

I agree with both these statements immensely.

[thebeardedsith-deactivated20240]

I totally had to do the thing

[whoneedsoptimism]

You know what really fucking bothers me about school in general?

It took away my passion.

Before high school I loved to read. I devoured books over and over, stayed up reading with a flashlight when I needed to know what happened next chapter, cherished every book and refused to crack their spines.

Now I can’t remember the last time I read a real book. In English class they would assign us Great Gatsby and Frankenstein and Heart of Darkness and Grapes of Wrath and I couldn’t bring myself to read a single one. Too many things to do, not enough time. Reading became a burden, not an escape.

So I just stopped. I stopped reading every second I had free time. I stopped picking up books in the bookstore. I gave away half my collection. I keep saying “I’ll get back into it soon” but it’s been years.

I stopped reading because I was being forced to read books I wasn’t interested in, and now I’m being forced to read 200 pages a week from textbooks to not fail my classes. I stopped reading because school killed that passion.

[alpaca-bro]

My reading survived until 11th grade english class. I thought i liked that class, because I had never disliked any english class before. It started okay, and we read Devil in the White City (highly creepy and disturbing, 7/10 would recommend), but then we got to Native Son by Richard Wright. I remember it because I would cover the designs on the cover of the book with white-out and then doodle them back in, rather than participate in class discussions. I hated that book. We had to write a character reflection/analysis, and my opening line was “Bessie is a cow’s name, and it fits because she is as strong-willed and intelligent as a cow.” That was the opening salvo in a page-long analysis. After that we dove into the Vietnam War era with a teacher that was so openly against it, she railed her opinions down our throat. Oh, and those were just the books. In between, we had a Beat Poet section. We had to pretend that the drugged-up ramblings bordering on incoherency were real art, just as meaningful and comprehensible as any of the other works, and we had to perform at our own “beat cafe”, where i shit you not we were graded on how random our poems were. We literally had to pick words from a magazine out of a bowl at random, but if it wasn’t random enough, we would lose points. And if we didn’t talk with the words on the vocab list of “beat slang” that the teacher gave us, we would lose points. 

After that, I’ve never touched a book. I’ve wanted to, I’ve checked out a few from the school library even, but i just can’t read. And it sucks.