i was king

max eli | 26 | he/they | part-time disaster

[starlight-tav]

Hi everyone,

I'm an autistic trans man and a full-time library assistant. I had to replace my 25 year old car recently, and am struggling.

I'm at $8.49 in my bank account right now. I can survive on a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter until I get paid on Thursday (10/9/25), but I can't let my account reach $0 or lower, or else my bank may close my account for too many overdrafts.

According to my last receipt, the bread I buy is $3.97 and the peanut butter is $5.77.

Below is my AO3 and ko-fi accounts. If you happen to read one of my fics and want to tip me, I'd be super grateful. I write fics for BG3, Dragon Age, and DC comics. If you don't have the means to tip me, if you could reblog this, that would help too!

Thank you for reading!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

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[lilacremes-deactivated20220714]

cabin fever

[wondrous-art]

"How beautiful. It’s different than I’d envisioned. Whatever happens next, I do not think it is to be feared."

Played Outer Wilds with my bestie and it has to be one of the emotional experiences I've had in a game.

[primadxnnagirl]

[whatyousyeiswhatyouget]

Sometimes I think if nobody spoke to me, I'd never speak again.

- Radio Silence, Alice Oseman

[vida-imensa]

Shawna  

[she-waves-at-cats]

I think it needs to become common knowledge that "inability to read social cues" can show up as overcompensating.

You don't know how much misbehaviour is allowed, so you become the perfect child who never tests rules.

You don't know if someone is irritated with you, so you'll be extra generous and self-effacing.

You don't know how much is expected of you at work so you'll kill yourself in a minimum-wage job and not notice that nobody else is working like this.

"Hardworking and quiet" should be as much of an autism red flag as "ignores rules and doesn't know when to stop talking". Or why don't we just start using words to communicate so i can stop tracking everybody's eyebrow twitches, that would be great.

[lamignonette]

[jaubaius]

Bioluminescent ghost mushrooms, Bournda National Park NSW Australia (Photo by Andrew Larkin)

Source

[jetix]

2021-06-05

[g-inspirationstudies]

14.07 || 28/100 days of productivity

I love studying at library.

📖dissertation (3 hrs)

📝writing (1 hr)

📚reading

[coji0117]

2023.07.23

小室山

｜Instagram ｜blog｜

[alrightlittleastronaut]

Isaac Henderson from Heartstopper is one of the most important characters to me ever.

[alrightlittleastronaut]

TW: childhood abuse, neglect, loneliness, depression, suicidality, internalized aroace-phobia

Being a survivor of childhood neglect and being a dating-repulsed AroAce adult is just growing into the devastating realization that all you want is to be someone's priority. But you're completely incapable of finding a partner because you lack the ability to feel the feelings 99% of people need to develop that kind of loving relationship.

I find myself thinking that if I had just been taken care of, if just a few of my needs had been met, if I'd been loved... maybe I'd be able to make peace with all of my friends getting married and starting families. Maybe I'd be less lonely.

I love romance. I love the idea of being in love. But no matter how hard I try, I can't develop an attraction. There are days when I don't think about it at all. It doesn't matter. But then I begin to feel unseen. I begin to feel like there's no point to my existence. It feels like all of my people are forgetting about me. I never know how to handle that pain. I just wait and wait and wait with my hand outstretched until one of my people finally reaches back. And I'm happy again. But I know I'm not their priority. I know their partners are more immediately important to them. And soon I find myself back in that isolated space.

I'm tired of always taking care of myself. I'm tired of self-soothing. I'm tired.

[belovedapollo]

reading, writing, reading again and writing again, truly a kind of happiness | reblog is ok, don’t repost

[llovinghome]

[robert-hadley]

The World of Interiors, November 2021. Photo - Katya de Grunwald