Hoarding recipes like a dragon hoards treasure.

I run a WoW recipe blog called Warchefs.

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[allysdelta]

When the Tumblrites cry "it's that chocolate guy!" that's Amaury

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[chaoticconstellation]

On this day one year ago, I was fired from Crumbl Cookies because my grandfather suddenly died and I cried when I found out and was on the clock. They make you sign a waiver to not talk about the recipes that lasts one year after your termination. Well guess what babes. That day, is today. RIP Nanu, you’ve been missed. But for anyone who likes the Chocolate Chip Cookies or the Iced Sugar Cookies, check out the recipes in the links. Feel free to ask about other recipes, it’s been a year but some things are just reskinned versions of these lol. Good Luck and Happy Baking.

Edit: Here is a Master List of all the recipes I have been able to remember thus far; I will be updating it as I am able!

[livingincolorsagain]

okay everyone sound off

pineapple

belongs on pizza

does NOT belong on pizza

Voting ended onMar 27

[knitmeapony]

Someone mentioned this book in a post about rice cookers, and I found it Dirt Cheap on thriftbook so I had to have it. My mutuals will immediately recognize the multiple soup chapters as part of the reason. And yes, that's the Rodger Ebert you think it is.

[knitmeapony]

Unsurprisingly this book has quotable genius right out of the gate.

This is a little book for people who would like to be able to prepare meals simply and quickly in a very limited amount of space - not even necessarily in a kitchen. I am thinking of you, student in your dorm room. You, solitary writer, artist, musician, potter, plumber, builder, hermit. You, with a corner of your desk or table free. You, parents on tight schedules with kids. You, who are beginning to believe you should pay more attention to breakfast. You, night watchman. You, obsessed computer programmer or weary Web-worker. You, lovers who like to cook together but don't want to put anything in the oven. You, in the witness protection program. You, nutritional wing-nut. You, in a wheelchair. And you, serving in uniform. You, person on a small budget who wants healthy food. You, shut-in. You, recovering campaign worker. You, movie critic at Sundance. You, factory worker sick of frozen meals. You, people in Werner Herzog's documentary about life at the South Pole. You, early riser skipping breakfast. You, teenager home alone. You, rabbi, pastor, priest, monk, nun, waitress, community organizer, nurse, starving actor, taxi driver, long-haul driver. Yes, even you.

[knitmeapony]

Roger Ebert on his Aunt Mary: When she was in the kitchen, she was on automatic. She had two speeds: Cook and Serve. She did not know how to measure salt. "Just throw in about enough, honey," she told me. This was her poetic wisdom about how to estimate the number of potatoes sufficient for a meal:

One potato

For every member of the family.

One potato for the pot.

And one last tater, honey,

For fear of later company.

[alshalyn]

I don't know if anyone cares, but this is the best sourdough loaf I've ever made and I'm inordinately proud

[alshalyn]

... Okay, I laugh every time I see the "Kale'thas Sunsalad" item, so I guess that's gonna have to be a Warchefs entry now.

Maybe a kale slaw with orange pieces?

[t4timekeeper]

people have the audacity to equate vanilla with “plain”. the fruit of a delicate orchid pollinated by hand. worth its weight in solid gold and beyond. the fussy black-and-cream jewel of the american continent. you sick son of a bitch. imagine a world without vanilla. no blondies. no pound cakes. no crème brûlée, no coke floats. no cream soda. no satiny new york-style cheesecakes. no warm apple pie à la mode. no velvety complexity to bring out complex notes in chocolate desserts. no depth of flavour in your cakes and cookies and milkshakes. all in just a few precious seeds or grams of paste or perfumed teaspoons of liquid black platinum. what you don’t understand could fill the library of alexandria seven times over and then some. you ungrateful bastard i’m going to kill you

[nemo-in-slumberland]

[gallusrostromegalus]

JESUS TEA

So it’s Flu Season again, and this recipe for Tea To Fix What Ails You was given to me by a Christian friend, and I’ve taken to calling it JESUS TEA due to it’s miraculous properties.  Even though it, technically, contains no tea.  This tea is as caffinie-free as anything processed in a US plant can get, but be sure to check the provenance and all ingredients in case of allergies.

You will Need:

A Bigass Pot, becuase this is something you make in large quantities

working stovetop

those lil cloth sachets you use for wassail/empty teabags/those lil reuseable loose-leaf tea steepers.

Recipe:

about a quart of water

1 cup apple cider

about half a lemon’s worth of juice

a shitwhack of honey- try to get as local as possible and generally the less-processed the better if you want to build a resistance to local allergens. If you have allergy concerns or don’t like the taste of honey, go ahead and use more processed stuff/another sweetener instead.

three tablespoons/three bags chamomile tea

three tablespoons/three bags rooibos tea

teaspoon crushed cloves

1 cinnamon stick (more if you like it spicier)

¼ tsp nutmeg

1/8 tsp cayenne or white pepper

Bring water to a simmer in the pot.  Add the chamomile, rooibos and spices to steep about 4-5 minutes or longer if you like tea-flavored tar which given you have the flu you probably do.  Add Cider, Lemon Juice and Honey until dissolved.  Drink all of this in the course of an hour to stay hydrated, make more pots as needed or until you pass out. 

FOR MAXIMUM EFFECTIVENESS: gargle warm salt water first for as long as you can, it’ll break up the mucus in your throat and soothe the soreness.

[injuries-in-dust]

"It's transmogrifying."

[clairelutra]

some meals that make it a little easier to cut food costs:

pizza (no knead dough, tomato sauce, cheese)

homemade bread (no knead | hand kneaded | stand mixer) (flour, yeast, water, sugar, salt) (if you struggle to get through homemade (preservative-less) bread before it goes stale, know that it freezes very well as long as you slice it first)

rice pudding (milk, rice, sugar, spices)

bread pudding (bread, milk, eggs, sugar, spices) (good way to use up homemade bread when it goes stale)

chili (meat (optional), onion, beans, canned tomatoes, spices)

meal prep fried rice (protein, rice, frozen vegetables, egg, spices)

[clairelutra]

more:

mac & cheese (pasta, milk, cheese)

bean & cheese burritos (beans, cheese, salsa, tortillas, spices)

tuna salad (tuna, mayo, lemon juice) (eat on bread or with crackers)

egg salad (hardboiled eggs, mayo, mustard) (eat on bread or crackers)

the chili makes a big batch, and it can be frozen and/or repurposed in:

loaded baked potatoes

chili cheese fries

nachos

chili dogs

how to make...

beans (pinto, black, kidney, garbonzo/chickpeas)

lentils

white rice on the stove

brown rice on the stove

pie crusts

flour torillas

yogurt (+ greek yogurt; start with the first link, then skip to step 9 on the second)

oatmeal

bechamel sauce (aka cream sauce for baked mac & cheese, scalloped potatoes, and poor man's alfredo)

cheap(ish) thanksgiving/christmas staples:

the aforementioned mac & cheese, bread pudding, rice pudding, and homemade bread, plus-

scalloped potatoes (high effort but cheap + delicious)

candied sweet potatoes

green bean casserole

turkey (cheap this time of year!)

Dollar Tree Dinners (youtube | tiktok | insta) has a lot of ways to repurpose a storebought rotisserie chicken - and budget holiday meals! - and her thing is to only assume you have oil, salt, and pepper

Julia Pacheco (youtube | website) has a lot of good survival budget meals

TheWolfePit (youtube) also has a survival budget meal series

r/EatCheapandHealthy, r/Frugal, and r/MealPrepSunday are also good resources (r/MealPrepSunday isn't budget-focused but search "cheap"/"budget"/etc and there's stuff)

all of these should be doable with an oven and/or stove top + utensils you can get from dollar tree, no specialty equipment.

stay safe and stay fed!

[idiomagic]

As someone who lost my SNAP benefits thanks to the Republicans, this is all very very useful. Reblogging in case any of y'all need it too.

[injuries-in-dust]

"I am awake now! I am very awake!"

[dduane]

This leavening ingredient is also called "hartshorn", because in previous centuries, the only way to get it was by subjecting antlers to high heat. (More about that here.) In German it's still called Hirschhornsalz.

The reason this stuff is judged to be seriously superior for some baking is that—unlike baking powder and baking soda—in the finished product you can't taste that any leavening product has been used. The heat of the baking process drives off the ammonia (and you betcha, you'll smell it then!). But the final baked product will be light and beautifully risen, and will taste of nothing but the non-leavening ingredients. It's frankly kinda magical.

(More about the chemistry of leavening agents, and some discussion of the comparisons among them, is here.)

[passumbapper]

it's almost summer do you guys want my stupid hyperoptimized lemonade recipe that takes half a day to make and whips absolute ass

[passumbapper]

Fruited Lemonade That Makes You Reconsider It All

ingredience:

lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)

whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.

granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.

water as needed

equipment:

a few nonmetallic mixing bowls

a mesh strainer

a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth

a kitchen scale

a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)

a potato masher

juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds -  and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.

 Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.

Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).

taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.

citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.

some tried and true flavor combos:

straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic

lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)

lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)

lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)

some cocktail type combos, booze optional:

lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin

lime & mint + white rum

lime & ginger + dark rum

lime & cucumber + gin

lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila

lemon, orange & cherry + brandy, bourbon, or rye whiskey

[madgastronomer]

holy gods

[melgillman]

I just spotted my first acorn of the year on the ground, which means it's officially TIME to remind you that you can EAT THEM

I've drawn an instructional comic about foraging acorns, which is available as a free PDF or a not-free print minicomic here on my Ko-Fi shop!

Acorns are one of our most abundant and underutilized wild foods! Teaching yourself how to process them is a great way to learn more about the past and present importance of oaks in our ecosystems and our foodways. And you're gonna love the pancakes, seriously.

If this is the year you wanna try your hand at balanophagy, I've broken down all the steps for you into a beginner-friendly comic!

[kaity--did]

It's the internet's millennial mom back here again with an extremely unpopular opinion that I need you all to internalize:

There are no food rules, ESPECIALLY when you're just feeding yourself.

The internet (and specifically TikTok, Pinterest, etc) has become obsessed with beautifully plated meals that follow certain conventions. It's all bullshit.

Crack your pasta in half before you put in the pot. Put BBQ sauce on your salad. Do whatever the hell you need to do to get nutrients into your body. The only rule is you need to eat.

[kaity--did]

I can not even begin to explain to you how "heat the food until it's not poison" should just be implicit you absolute bubble frogs

[alshalyn]

From what I've heard, the idea of Three Meals A Day Cooked In Your Own Home is very recent in the grand scheme of things; most people throughout history either cooked for their communities as a whole, lived off pottage that simmered continuously in the hearths used to warm their homes, or just bought street food and ate at restaurants.

So, don't feel shame if all you can manage is a no-effort instant meal or takeout. Your ancestors didn't.

[layzeal]

ok I’m curious so put in the tags what country you are from and whether or not you own/use a rice cooker

[petermorwood]

@dduane’s tags:

don’t need a separate rice cooking appliance

as our household already has @petermorwood

who makes absolutely perfect rice every time

one of his many superpowers

:)

…oh yeah:

Ireland

Heh.

We’ve got a small enough kitchen that getting an air fryer / slow cooker / bread machine / rice cooker have all been considered, then abandoned for lack of space.

TBH, they’re also not needed.

We don’t deep-fry stuff often enough to need a dedicated device (the long-ago deep fryer was used just twice in 12 months, after which it was carefully cleaned and passed on to a charity shop); our oven has a slow cook setting; we make bread with a mixer or processor and that oven; I do the rice.

I searched “Why use a rice cooker” and got more or less the same info from several different sources. The writer of this Huffpost article said:

I tried cooking rice over the stove and ended up with a soggy mess, then tried making it with an Instant Pot and got uncooked grains. … Instead of having to boil water over the stove, stir in the rice, cover it and simmer (all while keeping your eye on a timer), all you have to do is put the rice and water in the cooking pot, place it in the cooker, and press a button. There’s no need to peek under the lid to make sure your heat isn’t too high or low, or worry about babysitting a pot to keep the rice at the bottom from burning.

This is from Tom’s Guide:

Anyone who cooks rice regularly knows it can often be tricky to get it right each time. Much like a science, if the water levels in the pot are not precise, or the stove temperature is not adjusted carefully, you’ll end up with either soggy, crunchy or worse still, burnt rice. … After all, who has time to stand by a pot of boiling rice, constantly stirring, and having to scrub it clean at the end?

Here’s my response.

I get it right every time.

Once, very early on, I ended up with soggy rice, but I’ve never had crunchy or burnt rice.

I don’t have to stand by the pot constantly stirring, in fact my method doesn’t involve doing either.

I don’t have to peek under the lid, in fact my method says Don’t Do That.

I don’t have to keep an eye on the timer, it’s got a loud beep.

My saucepan is as easily cleaned as the pot of a rice cooker.

Here’s my method:

Put 2 containers of water in a saucepan & bring to the boil (control dial Full On).

Add 1 same-size container of rice, stir, return to the boil.

Reduce to low simmer (turn control dial to one stop up from Off), cover and wait 12 minutes.

Do Not Peek.

Preheat oven to 120°C. This is optional, see (7)

After 12 minutes, check if water is absorbed.

If it’s all absorbed, fluff the rice with a fork, cover again & transfer the saucepan to the heated oven for about 30 minutes. Turn the oven off; residual heat is enough. Rice CAN be eaten straight away, the oven stage just improves things from Great to Excellent.

If it isn’t all absorbed, put the lid back and wait about 2-3 more minutes, then continue as (7).

I’ve been cooking white long-grain and Basmati rice this way for years, and It Always Works. Conclusion: even if we had room for a rice cooker, we don’t need one.

More Here.

A Lot More Here.

[dduane]

…I just wanted to take a moment to reblog this (before also finding space for it on the Mind Palate site) as it’s the last thing Peter ever cooked for the two of us before he left our kitchen for the very last time.

I just made it myself for the first time (because I never had to do it before. He always did it). And it worked perfectly. Because of course it would. After all, this is Peter we’re talking about.

Later on, when the rice is cold enough, I’ll make Maki’s fabulous Perfect Fried Rice In A Frying Pan recipe. P. always liked that one.