[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

Don't reblog!!! I think people highly underestimate how being way too rude and disrespectful is damaging to sensitive people I took my heart meds twice today but my heart rate is still 181 because of how bad my anxiety is I'm so bad at confrontation and I can't stop crying and my hands keep shaking and I don't feel safe anymore Even this blog is not safe I'm just going to delete my account I don't have friends but I thought I could have friends here Evidently not My only friend is pills and blades and death My psychosis-induced voices are nicer than real people and that's the fucking saddest thing I've ever said in my life I can't stop crying

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

Some NT: if you're sensitive to abandonment you're abusive Me: but I didn't tell them I was hurt by th Them: ABUSIVE Me: but I internalize m Them: A.B.U.S.I.V.E !!!!

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

Me: *has a popular text post* yay life is happy and all sunshine and butterflies and I'll never be sad again! Lol what mental illness? I am thriving!

Some NT: *calls me abusive and insults me on my text post*

Me: time to fucking kill myself 🙃

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

Neurotypical: You’re so abusive I hope your friends leave you Me: I leave everyone because I’m scared of hurting them or being hurt by them Neurotypical: YOURE SO ABUSIVE I HOPE YOUR FRIENDS LEAVE YOU!!! Me: i just said I have no friends Neurotypical: ABUSIVE!!

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

It's funny how I can't feel safe on Tumblr to express my emotions. Its funny how people yell at me and blame me and I'm the one in my room shaking and crying holding a blade wondering why I survived my last attempt and somehow I'm the abuser. Like thanks for proving my point about you being a piece of shit. It's funny how the voices in my head telling me to die are nicer than real people.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

It annoys how much neurotypicals ignore bpd symptoms because they’re symptoms. Like yes I’m too angry because you didn’t text back but it’s still your own damn fault for not texting back!! A lot of neurotypicals take mental illness as an excuse to abuse the people struggling (who, usually, develop their mental illness as a result of abuse!!) and then blame those people for “overreacting” to that abusive behaviour.

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

You also sound like a selfish bitch when you say to the person that couldnt or didnt want to text back that they brought your abuse on themselves. It isnt their fault you have a disorder just like it isnt 100% you fault how you react but you are still responsible for you reaction. Your disorder is not an excuse for you to abuse and then blame the other person. You are an abuser yourself for saying that your abuse was only the other persons fault..mental illness is no excuse for abuse. No one should put up with your shit because you have a disorder

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

How exactly is it abuse to be hurt and feel abandoned when someone ignores you? People who know their friend has bpd should know about the fear of abandonment and it’s selfish to ignore that friend. Sometimes people tell me “I’m at work I’ll text back soon” and that’s enough for me. But if someone doesn’t answer me for 7 hours knowing damn well I’m gonna cry for hours, they’re the abuser, not me. I never asked anyone to put up with my shit. They chose to put up with it when they decided to be my friend and my disorder and I are a package deal. I have no control over my emotions. When I’m hurt I can’t control myself. 99.9% of the time I react inwardly and hurt myself but sometimes I react outwardly and yell at that person if they don’t realize they hurt me. What I’m saying is that yes I overreacted but I overreacted to something..something hurtful that someone else did and it is their fault for hurting me.

“Studies show that 90% of people with a mental health problem do not exhibit violent behaviour. In fact, these people are 15 times more likely to be the victim of violence instead of the perpetrator. - Anne Crocker, PhD, 2010”

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

It is abuse to scream and bitch at your friend for not texting back. It is abuse to make them feel like shit for my texting back. And it is abuse when you make them feel like they either text you back or are abusive. Not texting you back is not abuse and you are one clingy chick. Your illness isn’t an excuse. Most abusers dont want to admit they abuse and you seem to be in the denial stage and unwilling to look at your actions. That “yeah i emotionally/mentally/psychologically abused you but it isnt my fault cus illness and i wouldnt have done it if you didnt make me” is the same things as “i wouldnt have hit you if you didnt make me” you are being abusive to your friends by blowing up in their face and blaming them.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

buddy you’ve never met me! Literally the only thing you know about me is that I have bpd. I haven’t been rude to you at all but so far you’ve called me “abusive”, “clingy chick”, “using my illness as an excuse”, and compared me to physically abusive people. I wasn’t even talking about myself because I also have avoidant personality disorder so I self-isolate. I literally have no friends because I avoid everyone. And people who are bothered by someone with bpd’s actions can do easily stop talking to them. It is that easy. You can walk away and get rid of your biggest life problem. I don’t have that luxury because I am my biggest life problem. My biggest life problem lives in my head and you can’t understand that. You should be really grateful for that. I wish I had the luxury of thinking people can always control their emotions.

But believe me I’ve never hurt or abused anyone. I cry myself to sleep every time I even wonder if someone was hurt by me. I’m the opposite of an abuser.

That text post wasn’t even for myself, I’m the “quiet borderline” but many bpd people express their feelings outward like my best friend that I spent 4 years thinking was abusive because of how attached she was to everyone but she was never the abuser, she was just overly sensitive to things others wouldn’t notice.

Think what you like but no one owes you an apology for being broken.

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

1st of all you have no idea my mental state. And 2nd of all you are clingy and abusive. You literally said in your post you fly off the handle and abuse (not physically) your friends and then blame them for setting you off much like an abuser. And how convenient for you and your special snowflake mentality when someone points out your flaws and how you are actually abusive when you snap at your friends and then blame them for your abusive behavior you get to suddenly go to la la land and pretend your 3rd self was talking about some other person. Mentally ill people can be abusive and you are abusive. Have a nice day in la la land i really hope your friends stand up to you one day because you do sound emotionally abusive. One minute your snap their head off and the next you will be apologizing because their set you off and you will hide behind your illness or in la la land…little snowflake will somehow always get off easy AND keep hee victim complex in talk. Lucky you baby girl.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

Buddy I literally just said I have no friends. Who are we even talking about here?

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

It annoys how much neurotypicals ignore bpd symptoms because they’re symptoms. Like yes I’m too angry because you didn’t text back but it’s still your own damn fault for not texting back!! A lot of neurotypicals take mental illness as an excuse to abuse the people struggling (who, usually, develop their mental illness as a result of abuse!!) and then blame those people for “overreacting” to that abusive behaviour.

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

You also sound like a selfish bitch when you say to the person that couldnt or didnt want to text back that they brought your abuse on themselves. It isnt their fault you have a disorder just like it isnt 100% you fault how you react but you are still responsible for you reaction. Your disorder is not an excuse for you to abuse and then blame the other person. You are an abuser yourself for saying that your abuse was only the other persons fault..mental illness is no excuse for abuse. No one should put up with your shit because you have a disorder

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

How exactly is it abuse to be hurt and feel abandoned when someone ignores you? People who know their friend has bpd should know about the fear of abandonment and it’s selfish to ignore that friend. Sometimes people tell me “I’m at work I’ll text back soon” and that’s enough for me. But if someone doesn’t answer me for 7 hours knowing damn well I’m gonna cry for hours, they’re the abuser, not me. I never asked anyone to put up with my shit. They chose to put up with it when they decided to be my friend and my disorder and I are a package deal. I have no control over my emotions. When I’m hurt I can’t control myself. 99.9% of the time I react inwardly and hurt myself but sometimes I react outwardly and yell at that person if they don’t realize they hurt me. What I’m saying is that yes I overreacted but I overreacted to something..something hurtful that someone else did and it is their fault for hurting me.

“Studies show that 90% of people with a mental health problem do not exhibit violent behaviour. In fact, these people are 15 times more likely to be the victim of violence instead of the perpetrator. - Anne Crocker, PhD, 2010”

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

Mentally ill people can be just as abusive as everyone else. You are using you illness as an excuse just like wife beaters use their wifes behavior as an excuse. You are not a magical fairy perfect fucking princess that isnt abusive because you have a mental issue. You are describing in your post MENTAL EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE AS WELL AS BLAMING HOT VICTIM FOR YOUR ACTIONS much like a wife beater blames his wife for his actions.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

Oh my god are you saying I'm like a wife beater because I cried when someone intentionally constantly ignored me to cause an outburst then blame me for it?

Of course mentally ill people can be abusive but that's not what I'm saying.

I'm talking about actual abusers who intentionally hurt people with a mental illness because "no one's going to take them seriously". This is about actual abusers, not ordinary people who were busy just one time and forgot to text back.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

It annoys how much neurotypicals ignore bpd symptoms because they’re symptoms. Like yes I’m too angry because you didn’t text back but it’s still your own damn fault for not texting back!! A lot of neurotypicals take mental illness as an excuse to abuse the people struggling (who, usually, develop their mental illness as a result of abuse!!) and then blame those people for “overreacting” to that abusive behaviour.

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

You also sound like a selfish bitch when you say to the person that couldnt or didnt want to text back that they brought your abuse on themselves. It isnt their fault you have a disorder just like it isnt 100% you fault how you react but you are still responsible for you reaction. Your disorder is not an excuse for you to abuse and then blame the other person. You are an abuser yourself for saying that your abuse was only the other persons fault..mental illness is no excuse for abuse. No one should put up with your shit because you have a disorder

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

How exactly is it abuse to be hurt and feel abandoned when someone ignores you? People who know their friend has bpd should know about the fear of abandonment and it’s selfish to ignore that friend. Sometimes people tell me “I’m at work I’ll text back soon” and that’s enough for me. But if someone doesn’t answer me for 7 hours knowing damn well I’m gonna cry for hours, they’re the abuser, not me. I never asked anyone to put up with my shit. They chose to put up with it when they decided to be my friend and my disorder and I are a package deal. I have no control over my emotions. When I’m hurt I can’t control myself. 99.9% of the time I react inwardly and hurt myself but sometimes I react outwardly and yell at that person if they don’t realize they hurt me. What I’m saying is that yes I overreacted but I overreacted to something..something hurtful that someone else did and it is their fault for hurting me.

“Studies show that 90% of people with a mental health problem do not exhibit violent behaviour. In fact, these people are 15 times more likely to be the victim of violence instead of the perpetrator. - Anne Crocker, PhD, 2010”

[psychoactive-starfish-deactivat]

I think twisted-survivor may have misread your post. Or maybe I did. Idk.

When I read it, I took it as “when they ignore you, it affects the part of your emotions that came up as a result of abuse,” like you are hypersensitive to abuse, for good reason, and although it’s not abusive for them to not text back, it *feels* like abuse to the person being ignored. And if the person not texting back KNOWS it upsets the other person and PURPOSELY does it over and over again without instead trying to work things out and create boundaries because they think “well it’s just a symptom so it doesn’t matter if I upset you” THEN it becomes abusive to the person being ignored.

Whereas I think twisted-survivor read it as “I am abusive towards you because you ignore me and that’s okay bc I have no control over my symptoms” which isn’t the way I read your post at all.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

@twisted-survivor this is explained better than how I said it. This is what I meant. It's about people who intentionally constantly ignore texts then blame the person for 'overreacting' about it/ being hurt by it

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

It annoys how much neurotypicals ignore bpd symptoms because they’re symptoms. Like yes I’m too angry because you didn’t text back but it’s still your own damn fault for not texting back!! A lot of neurotypicals take mental illness as an excuse to abuse the people struggling (who, usually, develop their mental illness as a result of abuse!!) and then blame those people for “overreacting” to that abusive behaviour.

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

You also sound like a selfish bitch when you say to the person that couldnt or didnt want to text back that they brought your abuse on themselves. It isnt their fault you have a disorder just like it isnt 100% you fault how you react but you are still responsible for you reaction. Your disorder is not an excuse for you to abuse and then blame the other person. You are an abuser yourself for saying that your abuse was only the other persons fault..mental illness is no excuse for abuse. No one should put up with your shit because you have a disorder

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

How exactly is it abuse to be hurt and feel abandoned when someone ignores you? People who know their friend has bpd should know about the fear of abandonment and it’s selfish to ignore that friend. Sometimes people tell me “I’m at work I’ll text back soon” and that’s enough for me. But if someone doesn’t answer me for 7 hours knowing damn well I’m gonna cry for hours, they’re the abuser, not me. I never asked anyone to put up with my shit. They chose to put up with it when they decided to be my friend and my disorder and I are a package deal. I have no control over my emotions. When I’m hurt I can’t control myself. 99.9% of the time I react inwardly and hurt myself but sometimes I react outwardly and yell at that person if they don’t realize they hurt me. What I’m saying is that yes I overreacted but I overreacted to something..something hurtful that someone else did and it is their fault for hurting me.

“Studies show that 90% of people with a mental health problem do not exhibit violent behaviour. In fact, these people are 15 times more likely to be the victim of violence instead of the perpetrator. - Anne Crocker, PhD, 2010”

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

It is abuse to scream and bitch at your friend for not texting back. It is abuse to make them feel like shit for my texting back. And it is abuse when you make them feel like they either text you back or are abusive. Not texting you back is not abuse and you are one clingy chick. Your illness isn’t an excuse. Most abusers dont want to admit they abuse and you seem to be in the denial stage and unwilling to look at your actions. That “yeah i emotionally/mentally/psychologically abused you but it isnt my fault cus illness and i wouldnt have done it if you didnt make me” is the same things as “i wouldnt have hit you if you didnt make me” you are being abusive to your friends by blowing up in their face and blaming them.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

buddy you've never met me! Literally the only thing you know about me is that I have bpd. I haven't been rude to you at all but so far you've called me "abusive", "clingy chick", "using my illness as an excuse", and compared me to physically abusive people. I wasn't even talking about myself because I also have avoidant personality disorder so I self-isolate. I literally have no friends because I avoid everyone. And people who are bothered by someone with bpd's actions can do easily stop talking to them. It is that easy. You can walk away and get rid of your biggest life problem. I don't have that luxury because I am my biggest life problem. My biggest life problem lives in my head and you can't understand that. You should be really grateful for that. I wish I had the luxury of thinking people can always control their emotions.

But believe me I've never hurt or abused anyone. I cry myself to sleep every time I even wonder if someone was hurt by me. I'm the opposite of an abuser.

That text post wasn't even for myself, I'm the "quiet borderline" but many bpd people express their feelings outward like my best friend that I spent 4 years thinking was abusive because of how attached she was to everyone but she was never the abuser, she was just overly sensitive to things others wouldn't notice.

Think what you like but no one owes you an apology for being broken.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

It annoys how much neurotypicals ignore bpd symptoms because they’re symptoms. Like yes I’m too angry because you didn’t text back but it’s still your own damn fault for not texting back!! A lot of neurotypicals take mental illness as an excuse to abuse the people struggling (who, usually, develop their mental illness as a result of abuse!!) and then blame those people for “overreacting” to that abusive behaviour.

[twisted-survivor-deactivated201]

You also sound like a selfish bitch when you say to the person that couldnt or didnt want to text back that they brought your abuse on themselves. It isnt their fault you have a disorder just like it isnt 100% you fault how you react but you are still responsible for you reaction. Your disorder is not an excuse for you to abuse and then blame the other person. You are an abuser yourself for saying that your abuse was only the other persons fault..mental illness is no excuse for abuse. No one should put up with your shit because you have a disorder

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

How exactly is it abuse to be hurt and feel abandoned when someone ignores you? People who know their friend has bpd should know about the fear of abandonment and it's selfish to ignore that friend. Sometimes people tell me "I'm at work I'll text back soon" and that's enough for me. But if someone doesn't answer me for 7 hours knowing damn well I'm gonna cry for hours, they're the abuser, not me. I never asked anyone to put up with my shit. They chose to put up with it when they decided to be my friend and my disorder and I are a package deal. I have no control over my emotions. When I'm hurt I can't control myself. 99.9% of the time I react inwardly and hurt myself but sometimes I react outwardly and yell at that person if they don't realize they hurt me. What I'm saying is that yes I overreacted but I overreacted to something..something hurtful that someone else did and it is their fault for hurting me.

"Studies show that 90% of people with a mental health problem do not exhibit violent behaviour. In fact, these people are 15 times more likely to be the victim of violence instead of the perpetrator. - Anne Crocker, PhD, 2010"

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

We were watching a documentary in my Psychiatry class and everyone was like "omg why is this 10 year old boy being given 4 medications?? That's excessive!! He seems Normal™!!" Like...friends...I don't know how to tell you this but he seems normal BECAUSE HE'S TAKING 4 MEDICATIONS!!!

[quotemadness]

What kind of writer am I? With all this love and no words for it?

Anne Sexton (via quotemadness)

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

Therapist: who do you go to when you need to talk to someone and need emotional support? (:

Me:........do hundreds of strangers on the internet count??

[bigfatphallusy]

[kiskolee]

THIS.

[professorbutterscotch]

I have never thought about it in this context

that’s actually really, really creepy.

[purplespacecats]

I… fuck.

[casuallystudious-blog]

Yeah, basically.

[avoiding-catatonic-surrender-de]

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

[rosefire]

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

[alwaysfighting-bpd-blog]

It annoys how much neurotypicals ignore bpd symptoms because they're symptoms. Like yes I'm too angry because you didn't text back but it's still your own damn fault for not texting back!! A lot of neurotypicals take mental illness as an excuse to abuse the people struggling (who, usually, develop their mental illness as a result of abuse!!) and then blame those people for "overreacting" to that abusive behaviour.

[sapphicgecko-deactivated2016123]

unfollow me if you use ocd as an adjective

[rottenbutrecovering]

Some people with delusions are fully convinced by them- nothing at all will sway them.

Some people with delusions are almost fully convinced, but with effort can be swayed.

Some people are mostly convinced, but have a small part of them saying it’s not true.

Some people will be aware their delusion is irrational, but still have it as a delusion.

All reactions to delusions are valid.