Alysoun

She/her, 22, masc straight woman previously on T. Also had top surgery. Not a terf. Actually detrans but not weird about it.

[alysoun-archive]

Intro

Alysoun ◇ 22 ◇ she/her ◇ straight ◇ masc/gnc detrans woman

Hello! My name is Alysoun. I'm a 22yr old gnc/masc detrans woman who was on T for years and had top surgery. I'm a non-religious daoist, vegetarian, nature-enthusiast, and natural skincare and haircare enthusiast. I believe in mixing natural ways of living and natural remedies with modern medicine and technology.

Though I consider myself a detransitioner, I feel more like trans x2. I transitioned before I ever hit adulthood so I was never really a woman before. I feel like I'm transitioning again, but in a different way this time. I don't regret my initial transition and still support the trans community.

(To be clear, I do not consider myself a hippie. Thats a specific subculture with beliefs and practices I do not share)

All original posts can be found under the tag #alysoun speaks

[nonbinarymlm]

Hot take maybe, but you can go off of HRT without detransitioning and you can detransition without going off HRT.

YOU get to define your identity, especially in terms of whether or not you’re detransitioning. HRT does NOT define trans identity so it shouldn’t define detransitioning.

[detransitioningisvalid]

FYI: its okay if labels don’t feel like they fit. You don’t owe the world a neat identity package with a pretty bow on top.

[detranspositivity]

I really dislike the narrative that detrans people were “never really trans”…really? how do you, an internet stranger, get to decide what someone’s identity “really” was? being trans means many different things to many different people, so to say that someone was never “really trans” because they changed their mind at some point kinda implies that you think there is a “right way” to be trans.

well, newsflash, there is no “right way”. If someone believed they were trans, lived as a trans person, experienced the ups and downs of gender dysphoria/euphoria, went thru the trouble of social and medical transition and through that journey, that person said “wait…I don’t think this fits me anymore.” seems pretty trans to me.

and that’s okay, it’s okay to change your mind. you were trans.

or if you want to say “I wasn’t trans I was x thing instead” that’s also okay.

what isn’t okay is to police other people’s language about their journey. to police someone’s identity because it makes you uncomfortable. like it or not, real trans people detransition. whether they decide they are actually cis, trans but in a different way, or another identity that fits them better is up to that individual person and doesn’t invalidate their previous LIVED EXPERIENCE as a trans person.

If your knee jerk reaction to someone saying they were trans for a period of time, then decided to detransition is “well you were never trans at all!” mayhaps examine why that’s the first thing you think to say, instead of something a bit more constructive or positive. Like what happened to “oh I’m glad you were able to find an identity that worked for you” as an example.

For those who are detrans reading this, if you needed someone to tell you this. you were really trans. you weren’t faking it and you weren’t deceiving anyone. you don’t deserve to have your experiences devalued or seen as unimportant. Whatever your situation or circumstances were/are, it was real, because it was real for you. and that’s all that matters.

[solarprominence]

I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up

[velvetvexations]

Briefly breaking my exile from discourse because I think I'm ready to say feminism and transfeminism are both obsolete concepts that don't help anyone and aren't designed to past something like twenty years ago.

Like, it's not about the "state" of transfeminism, it's like that because feminism in general is an outdated, conservative ideology that can't change because it's core principles weren't built to handle progressive changes in society. Continuing to attempt relying on any of it will hold trans people back for the rest of eternity. It is necessary to forge entirely new ideas.

[velvetvexations]

Even the problem with Men's Rights Activism has more to do with what it has in common with feminism in it's methodology and fundamental philosophy than it being for men.

[keebiecoo]

i think i understand you here, i think this is partly because feminism & mra both are both implied by design somewhat binary, treating sexism as a thing that only happens to one of the two binary genders & the "opposite" gender is assumed to be treated "oppositely" & so privileged, when traditionally both are actually discriminated against in different but not even opposite ways, & gender diverse people are, further, discriminated against in complex ways that are not only just the "you can't be like that" discrimination but also in that they experience a mix of sexisms.

exclusive focus on feminism instead of gender & sex equality is especially missing the point when looking at sexism from a non-white, non-cis angle, feminism is supposed to fight for women, femininity, femaleness, specifically, & position men, masculinity, maleness, as the oppressor, how then does that encourage you to see those you perceive as more masculine or feminine? under this framework, racists HAVE & DONE lynched black men for being dangers to women, they HAVE & DONE excluded black women from sufferage, transphobic bathroom bills are constantly justified by & extentions of laws that see "women" as a restrictable, protected class

tl;dr: i am so militantly pro gender & sex equality & against sexism that feminism isn't enough for me

[kosmogrl]

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

[detransitioningisvalid]

Do you think it’s possible that someone genuinely identified as trans for years of their life, and instead of the realization being like "oh, i was never trans to begin with", the realization is just that you identity has shifted over the years? Like, i don’t feel like i was wrong about identifying like that, i just feel like i am a different person now than i was 6 years ago

I think that's fully possible! People can be very fluid. Your interests six years ago are probably different than they are now. You've since discovered new things about yourself. That doesn't mean that six years ago, your favorite tv show wasn't your favorite tv show, or what you were studying in college wasn't your major, or the job you had wasn't what you did for a living - it just means it's changed in the past six years.

For me, I didn't feel like I had never been trans, just that it was no longer something I identified as. Over time I came to realize that for me, it was a mix of internalized misogyny and a disconnect from gender that led me to identifying as transgender - but that doesn't mean I didn't identify as transgender and I'm not going to say I was wrong for doing that, or misled, or anything like that. I learned a lot about myself from the experience. You probably did too.

[fairlystupidcrow]

It's absolutely ok if you as a person who thinks about going on testosterone don't want bottom growth. You should be able to do with your body what you want, forever and I fully support you.

However, you do not get to say that it "looks disgusting", "is icky", "is just a clit", "is ugly" or "doesn't even look male". That's being an asshole to people who want or have bottom growth. You do not get to call other people's genitals ugly. You do not get to police what other people should look like or be comfortable with. You have absolutely zero authority over other people's bodies.

Same goes for bottom surgery. If you have nothing nice to say, just shut the fuck up.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

How some of you on here fucking act

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Can't call it misogyny because then you'll be "misgendering yourself" and "holding onto your AGAB"

Can't call it transmisogyny because well, that's only for trans women and transfems

Can't call it transandrophobia because that's a "made up word" and "stop co-opting transfeminist language"

Truly no language is allowed to discuss this issue.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

It's a type of transphobia, yes. Same as how transmisogyny, transmisogynoir, and exorsexism are all types of transphobia.

And the term for transphobia against transmascs/trans men, is called transandrophobia.

[velvetvexations]

It's not something I'm even into but I wish people would stop saying things like incest kink are a White thing. Generally speaking any time a minority is underrepresented in subculture, and especially those of a sexual nature, it's because they're actively excluded, have no representation, aren't targeted, and are overly punished for participating compared to White people. I promise you there are people of all races who want to roleplay taboo scenarios.

[pingintech]

biggest issue especially for black ppl specifically and asian people is that whenever they are openly black or asian in kink spaces suddenly everyone tries to make it a raceplay thing poc have a really hard time be represented in kink as just normal ppl who are into xyz kink as opposed to, like,,, raceplay bait thats into xyz kink

basically everything is a "white kink" when poc only exist in kink to the extent their race is commodified

[velvetvexations]

And when PoC DO want raceplay even that comes with a million complications that serves to keep them out of it and unable to more indulge those kinks than White people are. It's depressing to see happen over and over, but PoC are not welcomed or sought after in kink spaces, and this severely affects the demographics involved.

[alysoun-archive]

I had actually recently noticed only white people participating in a particular kink (I dont tend to move in heavy kink spaces anywhere, it was only the one kink on Tumblr specifically for like 2 years, and in hindsight I should've noticed the lack of poc people sooner) and never thought about it being tied to people pushing raceplay, being racist and exclusionary, and just generally being Weird about poc. This particular kink also has some pretty heavy forcefem elements and I imagine that also plays a role in the lack of poc representation. Afterall, you can only be feminine and attractive if you're white (sarcasm).

Though I do wonder how many of the people I came across were actually just pretending to be white in order to be accepted/avoid racism, raceplay-pushing, etc. I've heard some black people speak on creating "whitesonas" as kids, and in a similar vein pretending to be white online in kink spaces would offer a good amount of safety and respect.

I do also wonder about the real-life applications. When a poc has a taboo kink, especially black people, they're considered morally corrupt. But for a white person, it's "just fantasy" and "non-harmful." I think in many cases it might just be too risky for poc to indulge in certain kinks, no matter how safe, sane, and consensual.

[holyurtadamn]

Katara and her (looking at palm) trophy wife

[dragon-in-a-fez]

obliterate the concept of "spoiling" a child. excise it from your lexicon like a cancer. that is some "the opposite of sin is suffering" Puritan ass bullshit. it is not possible to ruin a person through an overabundance of kindness.

[lilcowzia]

why is it that ppl hear "fetish" and immediately think "devoid of morals" like ur genuinely not making sense. ppl dont actually become inhuman and beast-like when theyre turned on, thats something we are told bc it aligns with christian patriarcal values, u know that right? desire isnt actually bad. it doesnt make you evil, or incapable of having/respecting boundaries

[lilcowzia]

i got a response to this abt how men get horny and "lose their minds" and "causes" them to behave vile. i rlly rlly neeeeed ppl to understand that men behaving inappropriately when turned on is something they are *choosing* to do, and when you equate that to human nature you are enabling them and diminishing the seriousness of that choice

[alysoun-archive]

I hope y'all know none of my detrans posts are kink-related or horny in any way.

When I use those tags, I'm just trying to reach a wider audience where what I say might resonate with someone. I've known a few detransitioners who started thinking about it due to a kink, including myself, and then went on to detransition for legit reasons and not kinky reasons (no one should be making big life decisions based on a kink). And when I talk about the kink, it's in a generalized sense, never horny.

[alysoun-archive]

have you started to feel dysphoric about your body and "masculine" features?

Sometimes yes. But it's not constant. I've always had things like a sharp jawline and a broad nose and even a bit of a decent eyebrow ridge before I started T. So thats always just been My Face. I'm fine with those features because of it. But sometimes my lack of breasts is upsetting. Or my fat distribution, but thats slowly reverting now that I'm off T. Though tbf, I've always been a rectangle, so I don't expect to get curvy in the slightest. Before I thought I was trans, I thought my lack of curves made me too ugly to be a woman, and it was definitely distressing then. I don't know yet if it will be again.

I also don't like my voice. I feel like it's clocky and very noticable that I was on T. I honestly rather sound like a cis man if I must keep my deep voice. But obviously sounding like a cis woman would be preferable. I just really hate how my voice is now.

[myrthena]

i finally drew something…