Tell me something sweet

system blog

[amanitaonthebrain]

.+:｡ what a lovely thing, to see you today ﾟ.+:｡

🍄 Amanita Muscaria System

🍄 Body: mid 20s, intersex, white

🍄 Wheelchair user, disabled since birth

🍄 Dx polyfragmented DID, working closesly with mental health services

🍄 On disability and does not work, mostly taken care of by friends and partners

🍄 Survivor to the kind of trauma they talk about on podcasts, but not at parties

🍄 Stability- 🟩[🟨]🟥‼️

system info under the cut

systems layered on top of each other like soil (i suppose), with each system having a host and then a runner who can go between systems for communication needs

Current hosts:

Outer: Allora

(runner: Lola)

Inner: CasperDoc

(runner: Greta)

Deep: Elena

Control: Sarai (since doc is busy)

each system is separated by heavy amnesia, either by distance or actual walls and gates with other little gaps to get through throughout the other systems

cannot go down, can only go up (except for certain alters)

the deeper in the layers the closer to the memories, but farther from the front (body/voice control) and vice versa- shallower/front alters are more seperated from memories

complex and deep inner world with intense relationships and memory seperations, our memories shift between people and different kinds of inner drama happen

[amanitaonthebrain]

weve been noticing switches- when in relation to our beloved butch

we know when we switch to diffferent people in how we interact with them, we can tell when chesed comes in, or its more casper or beatríx or even lavender! allie! i wish we could better explain when Sarai is holding them vs them holding maia

[literallyaflame]

i have a secret third opinion about self dx discourse which is “why are you guys treating the DSM like it’s the fucking bible”

[literallyaflame]

the amount of leftists who uncritically support the DSM-5—wielding it online in battles against random individuals who might be “faking” a disorder—boggles my fucking mind. you guys realize that the DSM-5 isn’t the only diagnostic manual on the planet, right? you realize that we place it at the top of the global hierarchy because it’s american, right? has it occurred to you that the APA shouldn’t have so much authority over what counts as a “real” mental illness? has it occurred to you that perhaps there are other diagnostic manuals? in fact, there are dimensional models that don’t rely on sorting individuals into “disorder/no disorder” boxes in the first place. food for thought, lmao

[respectissexy]

One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.

(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)

This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”

Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”

It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)

[respectissexy]

I love doing notes for therapist-posting on tumblr because I get tags like this.

[stuckinapril]

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

[softwaring]

by tucker

[fromhersoul]

[heatherwitch]

Artist is Richard Claremont: (website) (instagram)

[wetheurban]

May you have the courage to disappoint people who benefit from your self-abandonment.

[free-my-mindd]

[macklesufficient]

i have too much joie de vivre for this

[macklesufficient]

i’m so serious when i say excessive fear of being annoying/creepy/taking up people’s energy etc holds us back. it seems like it’s just little things but they add up. over the past month i’ve ordered food and drinks almost exclusively by asking “do you have a favorite?” and i know if i said that on twitter or wherever ppl would dogpile me for demanding emotional labor of servers or w/e but every single person i’ve asked has seemed genuinely psyched to answer! i don’t ask if it’s busy obvi, and use a phrasing that gives them the easy out of “i don’t have one”— but no one has taken it! the girl at the cafe confessed to me with something like conspiracy in her voice how everybody raves about the gluten free chocolate chip cookies and sure, they’re great, but the delicious, fluffy homemade waffles are RIGHT THERE. the barbera the bartender recommended was actually kind of awful but it broke the ice and we ended up talking for like 45 minutes. the bodega guy declared that he usually makes himself a burger but tonight was “a breakfast sandwich night” and tbh he was totally right. it WAS a breakfast sandwich night

[macklesufficient]

thank you tumblr user @saw5. tumblr user saw 5 gets it

[wetheurban]

I hope you forgive yourself for the ways you coped when you were hurting.

[paper-wounds]

[hillbillyoracle]

New Free Minizine: "Recovering from Reactivity"

[[ get a printable and read only version here (it's free) ]]

[thesweetiepienovels]

Actually, you are enough. Even if you don’t work. Or study. Or go out. Or have friends. Or have family. You’re enough because you exist and your existence is enough to be enough because you are not a product. You are not a sum of output. You are not a task to complete. But because you are something the universe wanted and put here even if you’ll never understand why. Somewhere in the cosmos your existence makes a difference, even if it’s not the way others existences do.

[crippled-peeper]

sorry to the people I hurt with my anger!!!

[titsay]

[tranxio]

We don’t have to be miserable. Being afraid doesn’t make us smarter, or safer. We can’t say, “Things are bad, so this is the right way to feel.” There is no right way to feel. We can be alert to dangers, we can take reasonable precautions, we can seize on opportunities to make proactive improvements. Those are actions; we can take them no matter how we feel, and reacting from panic or fury helps no one. It’s okay to be afraid, to be angry, to be sad—our feelings tell us a lot about ourselves, our own beliefs and values. But they do not tell us anything factually definite about the world. And no matter how bad things might actually be—whether or not they’re as bad as we think—there are still, always, things we can do to feel less awful.