My Goodbye to Tumblr, and Invitation to Live.
This is my last “recents.” When I close doors, I don’t open them again, and this site is something I’m leaving behind in 2016. It was nice to be able to channel energy into writing here at times when I couldn’t train or move or just needed extra bandwidth for my mind to let thoughts wander. Nothing even had to make sense because I wasn’t really writing for others; it was more for the sake of seeing all my thoughts in front of me so I could then organize them in my head. And it has served its purpose well. I’ll come back many years from now to see who I once was and possibly reminisce (maybe, if I remember, idk, or I’ll hire someone to permanently delete everything on here to avoid hellish nostalgia). I’m grateful for this, for those of you few who have kept up and interacted, for those that I’ve gotten to know and some that I even have met in person.
The semester was crazy but full of growth. The semester drained part of my work drive because of the huge load of classes filled with meaningless work. It just made me restless to put even more energy into what matters, and that’s my training and in cultivating meaningful friendships with people. It’s the perfect time to get back to the grinder that I’ve always been. I’m starting to feel hungry again like I was before these major breakthroughs that came this past year. I worked for those too, but it gave me an unnecessary feeling that I can take a breather for now. And that’s not who I am. There’s the reason I can’t sit still. And being a firm believer in being able to tell a lot from the way someone literally moves about their personality, it’s true that I can’t stop moving in any aspect in life.
Some close calls, but I definitely got through the toughest semester of my undergrad career, overachieved on firm requirements and have secured my family’s future. This next semester, although just as packed with 21 credits and full training schedule, won’t bother me at all. It can’t, and I’ve worked hard this semester to ensure that. I’m going to cherish this semester. It’ll be the last time I see a lot of these people for years as well since I’m always so ready to put things behind me and move on to the next phase. It’ll be my last round with a uni that I worked nail and bones to get into after hitting rock bottom. No one can take this away from me.
As a martial artist this year, I’ve grown leaps and bounds and hearing it in passing conversations between my instructors does my heart good since it’s been a rough year in terms of doubt and progress. I was promoted in all three of the arts that I practice. I wasn’t sure if I was growing the way I could be, but a lot of doubt was put to rest recently with some testings and meaningful conversations with friends, training partners, and instructors. I’m sprinting into this next year head up and swinging.
This coming year, I’m going to move away from a region where I’ve started to feel like home, and that nomadic pattern of my life has caught up with me and is saying “it’s time again.” And I’m answering that call. I’m going to start over in seclusion in a new city and cultivate my character and life for a year or two before I come back to the region I’ll call home, better than ever before. I’ll be able to take care of my small family from a distance that I need to keep for a little, while we all grow through that. And I’ll keep attacking life there between my visits and adventures, striving to make a positive impact everywhere I go, working with the best, training with the best, and chasing the best that the city has to offer before I outgrow it and come back.
I’m going to make everything that I’ve done in life so far look like a warm-up for what’s to come. I haven’t even scratched the surface of the person I can become, the martial artist that I’m to become, the impact maker that I aspire to be in the communities I involve myself in. I’m nowhere near my prime in any aspect of life and I’m shaking with the excitement of it all. I have years to go, and I’m just warming up.
This is my goodbye. If you take nothing else from me, just take that life’s short. Laugh, bond, call that upset friend, bring your mothers peace, meet new faces, forgive, laugh some more, chase growth, find your passions and let them drive you. Then share those and impact others positively with them. Wake up everyday remembering that everyone wants the same basic things out of life. Everyone wants happiness. Everyone means well. Everyone wants to live the most enriching and meaningful lives possible. Remember that nothing is lost in enriching someone else’s life, in pulling up someone else, in wanting the same for someone as yourself, in being more vulnerable, more raw, more empathetic. The differentiating details between us all just save us from boredom and banality. These sentiments echo in every religion, body of philosophy, and culture in one way or another because these constructs are for (if not by) humans, naturally. So let’s be a little more human. Let’s live consciously, and fully.
P.S: If any of you are ever in D.C, Philly, or NYC, feel free to get in touch to hang, shoot, eat, and adventure through my cities with me! Instagram is actually a fantastic way to get in touch with me and I promise I’m hella responsive!
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