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@amongthesebarrencrags
Please. Help.
The girl I'm dating and I both think that we sleep on the left side of the bed. I'm coming to terms with the fact that she may be a psychopath and I don't know what's real anymore.
Which option has the sides of the bed correctly labelled?
#1
#2
Neither #1 nor #2 but a secret third thing
Well this @prawnblem didn’t agree with me on labelling sides of beds, but she did say yes to marrying me, so. I kinda won? ♥️
the really crazy thing about cooking is that once you practice it enough (for all the gamers reading this: "grind enough exp") your threshold for wuat counts as a low effort / depression / I Dont Really Want To Cook meal rises steadily and you can feel yourself becoming the kind of person whose "chill dinner" takes 1h45 and involves three pans
ok but how do I get there from "assembling a sandwich is too much work"
As someone who went through this and struggles with chronic pain and fatigue, add 1 thing semi regularly. And I do mean just 1 thing.
When I first moved out most my meals were instant ramen. Then I started adding 1 egg to that ramen to get a little protein in. In a couple months, 1 egg became two. Then it was 2 eggs and 1 chopped green onion. Then a couple months later I was adding carrots and other vegetables. In about two years I was able to skip the instant ramen part altogether and now use chicken broth and noodles and I’m basically making a ramenesque soup from scratch when I’m craving ramen. It took 2+ years total of just gradually, one at a time, adding one ingredient. Over a period of months/weeks.
Start with where you’re able. If a sandwich is too much, maybe try just a piece of bread and some meat or cheese. Focus on where you can be gradually introducing more nutrients into your body. 1 slice of deli meat. A couple weeks later, that plus 1 slice of cheese. Then 1 vegetable. Maybe they don’t all make it into sandwich form and that’s ok. But if you keep what’s the most basic and simple for yourself and slowly add 1 thing that’s not too much of a hassle, over a couple months you might start toasting the bread before putting cheese and meat on it. Then one day there’s more vegetables. Years down the line you might find yourself owning a panini press or slicing your own bread.
Most of us will never be gourmet chefs and that shouldn’t be the goal. You might not ever get to the point where you own a panini press. But the more important thing is that you’re finding ways that work, for you, gradually, in order to make your meals more nutritious. The expectation to cook a full, unique meal every night for dinner is a relatively new phenomenon and completely unrealistic for most people. Having the same 3 things you can make consistently and keep on rotation is plenty fine, especially if you get to the point where you can mix it up a little bit by adding ingredients in the method stated above. Feeding yourself should be the #1 goal, getting more nutrients in #2, and stepping it up to the next level #3 when you have the capacity to. Like with a lot of things, it’s really just about consistency. Start with where you can be consistent. If that’s 1 meal a week you cook yourself and the rest is hot pockets, but you can do that 1 meal consistently, then that’s where you start. Then when you have that down, maybe try two (of the same) meals a week, or ask what you can add to your hot pocket to make it a little better for you. (Some vegetables on the side for instance).
Don’t try to jump in from 0 to full course meal all at once or you’ll overwhelm yourself. Building a meal outward from bread and butter over a period of weeks is incredibly possible. No two peoples’ timelines will be the same, but it is entirely possible and that success will look different for everyone, and that’s also ok. As long as you’re feeding yourself, that’s what’s most important.
this is so helpful. too many times when I ask how to do something, people tell me to "just do it" like I'm supposed to already know what steps to take. and I almost never know what steps to take. someone actually telling me is so refreshing
For me, it was a matter of simplifying the process as well. Like, there's some merit to acquiring tools meant to reduce prep time/effort. If I had to hand chop an onion and mince garlic every time I wanted to cook, I would literally never cook anything that needed those and practically everything I cook needs those.
But this thing does all the work. I can quarter an onion half in like five seconds, and have it chopped into small pieces in 15 seconds by slapping this bad boy on the hood.
Pre-prepared foods can help, too. Jarred minced garlic isn't quite as good as fresh imo, but saving myself 15 minutes of peeling garlic and mincing it by hand means I actually use it and cook stuff because I don't have to mince garlic by hand, so it's worth it. There's even whole cloves like this now, if I want to mince but not peel, or if I need cloves not minced.
I also think that like... Finding actually simple recipes (difficult, but possible) helps. I just recently had to sift through a ton of recipes to find just one that was simple enough pickles for my taste. I just wanted to pickle some cucumber. Nothing fancy! I picked up cucumbers and dill at the produce market and wanted pickles. But every recipe I was finding had all these extra steps and ingredients that made it seem like so much work and complicated. But it wasn't! When I finally found a bare bones recipe, it was "put water, vinegar, salt, and sugar into a pot, bring to a boil and cool, pour into jars with cucumbers and dill, refrigerate 1-2 weeks" and I added garlic, because I had garlic. It didn't need to be more complicated than that. But everyone was making it seem really complicated and if I had to do all that crap I would never have made pickles.
So if you're struggling, take something you have to do and are struggling with and 1) ask if there's a tool/method to make this task easier, 2) ask if there's a pre-made version of ingredients or even a base item, and 3) ask if there's a simpler recipe.
For example your Sandwich is too much- 1) there's not really a tool to make this easier but 2) there are some frozen premade sandwiches/burgers that you could always thaw/heat and later on add something to and 3) like the person above said, you can just eat the ingredients, you don't have to put them into sandwich form. It's basically a charcuterie board at that point, and if you 2) keep some eating-ready nuts on hand you can add a handful of those and maybe later on 2) fruit that doesn't take prep like grapes (or very little prep, like an apple you can 1) cut with an apple slicing tool), and now you've gone and turned "a sandwich is too much" to "fancy little dinner involving sandwich ingredients." For less effort than a sandwich.
So that's where I started. Figuring out what part was holding me up and sneaking past it with tools and tricks.
All excellent advice. Just wanna share something I found out about a year ago that has absolutely revolutionized cooking for me. Trader Joe’s sells frozen minced garlic and ginger. It comes separated into little blister packs, each square is about one clove of garlic, and because it’s frozen it’s not preserved with oil or other preservatives for room temp pre-minced garlic. It’s absolutely amazing.
Now I need to get one of those onion chopper things up above because that’s my other cooking bane….
Use the shortcuts. Jarred minced garlic, frozen chopped onion, frozen veggies that are already sliced. Pre-made sauces and mixes if you want. Spend slightly more for thin sliced chicken or tenders or whatever. Look for recipes (on Pinterest mostly) that are variations of "dump all the ingredients together and cook" like crock pot or sheet pan meals.
I CAN cook well. (Mostly cause I like it and I taught myself from shows and books.) But I had gotten to the point of only cooking from scratch and then I broke my foot and had to relearn how to half-ass it. The result is almost as good for most things.
All of the above is great tips. For me personally, it's also been about subtly changing the mentality or aesthetics of what a "simple meal" has to look like, because I think a lot of us who are struggling have a tendency to unconsciously "punish" ourselves by reinforcing the depressive vibes. It's a DEEPLY Puritan kind of mindset: "Poor/ill/mentally struggling people are poor/ill/struggling because they're Bad or Failing somehow, so therefore you should just eat grey porridge until you stop being a loser."
But it doesn't have to be like that. "Stuffing a few slices of deli meat or cheese in your wretched mouth while standing at the fridge" is a simple meal. So is a charcuterie board. It's substantially the same thing, but the vibes are different. I can tell you that I have gotten so much more joy and mental/emotional nourishment out of meals when I have taken a little extra time to make them beautiful and "fancy".
Eating ramen? Arrange your toppings like they do in nice ramen restaurants instead of just slopping them in any-which-way. Oh, and get yourself a really beautiful bowl to eat it in. This doesn't have to be expensive--keep an eye out at thrift stores or at the clearance section of stores that sell dishes. Every time you use the bowl, it adds a tiny little piece of beauty to your life, and over time those experiences of scraps of beauty (little moments of things that give you a grain of happiness) contribute to a much more positive and healthy mindset. If you get your hands on a bowl you love enough, then every time you use it will feel like a treat. Give yourself that treat as often as possible.
Eating a sandwich? Cut it diagonally. Why? I don't know, it's prettier that way, and it makes it a little bit nicer to eat. You could use a little ketchup or mustard or creamy sriracha to do those fancy dots/swirls/elegant smears on the plate like they do at really upscale restaurants. (The way you do the elegant smear is to put like half a teaspoon of your sauce or condiment in a little puddle, then use the back of a spoon to drag it out while rotating the plate. Ta da!)
Eating deli meat at the fridge? Get your beautiful plate (presumably you bought a beautiful plate when you bought the beautiful bowl, or use a clean wooden cutting board), and take an extra minute to arrange the meat and cheese nicely. Add a handful of baby carrots. Add a sprig of parsley or a dandelion flower that was growing outside your door, or a maple leaf. Add a spoonful of jam and some crackers. These are all cheap or free, and a charcuterie board is REALLY fast and low-effort to put together. But then you lounge on the couch and tell yourself, "This isn't depression food. This is Fancy. This is Special. Look how lavish and decadent I'm being right now." For me, my brain immediately perks up a little and goes, "Oh! Special treat! :)" Then I'm happy about the food, I'm smiling while I eat, and for a little time, I feel a bit better.
Oh, also: You're gonna buy a wine glass from the thrift store for a dollar and you're going to pour your can of Diet Coke into it. Or water. You're going to float your dandelion flower in the water. You're going to find a mug you adore and drink your tea/coffee out of your favorite special mug as often as possible.
You have to feed your soul. Beauty is a vitally important part of your daily nutritional intake. Don't skip it -- even if it feels silly and pretentious at first, over time it will start to teach your sad, tired, burned-out, weary, heavily-burdened heart that you deserve nice things, that there are small opportunities for precious tiny joys every day, and that the energy it takes to give yourself this supposedly-unnecessary little gift is a small investment for the amount of energy and pleasure it generates in return. I know folks who were straight-up suicidal who started doing things like this, and over the course of a few weeks or months, they realized that it had given them One Good Thing in their day that they could ALWAYS look forward to and to keep living for. This shit WORKS.
Bread and roses, friends: "Hearts starve as well as bodies: Give us bread, but give us roses too."
You do not understand how important it is to me that Homer does not include elysium in his version of the underworld from the Odyssey and how every one of the dead heroes Odysseus talks to says that it was not worth it
@bright-thehawksflight tagged me in another lovely ask game, so I'm posting 6 non-selfie photos from my camera roll :3
⛪a village in France where I am currently staying for work
🛬a stunning view of Venice from the plane. Last time I landed, the pilots decided to take a detour because there were some delays, so we got to enjoy a wonderful flyover
🐱My girlfriend holding Casper, my friend's cute kitty cat, while we're at her place for dinner. He bites a lot but he's so precious.
🏡 San Lazzaro degli Armeni, an island in the Venice Lagoon home to an ancient Armenian monastery. The island in the distance is the Lido, one of the 2 islands in the lagoon with a beach!
❓a very confused woman in the ads of a tabloid my grandma reads. The added question marks are really what made me laugh
🪧 A sign on lake Porovesi, Finland. It says: "Enjoying the view is allowed".
Thanks a lot for the tag and for reminding me to have some fun today :D
Tagging @lestogrifoni @thecreativepoppy @ley-med @caffeinateddiscoverer @amongthesebarrencrags @liquid-luv
and whoever else feels like sharing some stuff!!
Oh no. Can I come back to this? The only new things in my camera roll are how-to-find-things guides for hospital systems (cos hey, started a new job!). Nothing confidential, but hardly interesting. 😅
Please. Help.
The girl I'm dating and I both think that we sleep on the left side of the bed. I'm coming to terms with the fact that she may be a psychopath and I don't know what's real anymore.
Which option has the sides of the bed correctly labelled?
#1
#2
Neither #1 nor #2 but a secret third thing
"left" and "right" are both relative terms determined relative to a person. The correct answers are port and starboard.
the headboard is the stern
Yeah this one seems pretty straightforward. I'm sure there's some exceptions, but every depiction I can think of, including IRL race car beds, agrees.
i spent too long on this and regret nothing
Nor should you, this is glorious
can't believe missed my entire life having something trivial to playfully argue over all because my bed was always up against the wall so I would say inside or outside 😞
And I can’t believe I’m going to end up marrying the weirdo whose playful argument with me about the trivialities of bed sides did the rounds on The Tumblr Website. But here we are. 😅
oh god I got a picture of the moon you tumblr bitches are gonna LOVE
LOOK AT HER!!!! CRESCENT MOON DURING A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET!!!! SHE’S BISEXUAL!!!!!!
The Bisexual and Transgender pride flags colour picked from literally the most beautiful image of the moon ever
Second half is even better
Its supposed to be one of the best days of her life-
Her main color is pretty Clytemnestra’s one but more mute and gentle, because, well, what mother would not personally dress a daughter for her supposed wedding?
we seriously need to stop conceding to the personhood trap when it comes to abortion rights. is a fetus a person? thats a spiritual question. i dont care about the answer. should another person dictate what someone can do with their body? simple answer: no.
like if a fetus isnt a person it has no right to my body and if a fetus IS a peson it also has no right to my body because there is no other context in which we are required to put ourselves at risk of physical harm to preserve another persons safety or even life.
you dont have to save someone from drowning even if youre a strong swimmer. even in death youre not required to donate organs and that could save several people. you can kill someone if you truly believe your safety is at risk. we dont mandate preservation of life over autonomy in any of these circumstances.
Judith Jarvis Thomson’s A Defense of Abortion using assumption of fetal right to life has been published for 54 years, and the anti-abortion camp still acts like no-one’s ever once considered fetal personhood when arguing for abortion.
ive recently been able to get over my sensory issues regarding moisturizer by literally just saying "im going snail mode"
the grief of growing
okay fuck it, I was curious and bored so here's what happened
TLDR it was a prank on OP all along but the friends bonded so much that they actually started dating and somehow it got more fanfic-y
If you're feeling anxious or depressed about the climate and want to do something to help right now, from your bed, for free...
Start helping with citizen science projects
Public participation in science is increasing, and citizen science has a central part in this. It is a contribution by the public to researc
What's a citizen science project? Basically, it's crowdsourced science. In this case, crowdsourced climate science, that you can help with!
You don't need qualifications or any training besides the slideshow at the start of a project. There are a lot of things that humans can do way better than machines can, even with only minimal training, that are vital to science - especially digitizing records and building searchable databases
Like labeling trees in aerial photos so that scientists have better datasets to use for restoration.
Or counting cells in fossilized plants to track the impacts of climate change.
Or digitizing old atmospheric data to help scientists track the warming effects of El Niño.
Or counting penguins to help scientists better protect them.
Those are all on one of the most prominent citizen science platforms, called Zooniverse, but there are a ton of others, too.
Oh, and btw, you don't have to worry about messing up, because several people see each image. Studies show that if you pool the opinions of however many regular people (different by field), it matches the accuracy rate of a trained scientist in the field.
--
I spent a lot of time doing this when I was really badly injured and housebound, and it was so good for me to be able to HELP and DO SOMETHING, even when I was in too much pain to leave my bed. So if you are chronically ill/disabled/for whatever reason can't participate or volunteer for things in person, I highly highly recommend.
Next time you wish you could do something - anything - to help
Remember that actually, you can. And help with some science.
Yup, these are actually *really* important. And a small bit of work helps, so it’s doable even if you’re snowed under with survival work or in too much pain to concentrate for longer periods.
It’s multiply-checked by more than one person, so don’t worry about fucking it up because your concentration is fucked. Your input is valuable but not the only input.
I find Zooniverse very good, and it does Citizen Historian work too - I spent time digitising concentration camp records because a) families still don’t know what happened to some of their loved ones b) this makes the records available for historians without travelling to archives in person, which I can testify is *invaluable* for disabled historians and helps cut the need for overseas travel to do vital historical work.
It unexpectedly helped me with learning how to decipher premodern handwriting too, which proved really useful in my academic stuff. You *will* pick up valuable skills doing this. Put it on your CV.
Other places you can go to do citizen science, from the notes
(Thanks to everyone who left these in the notes! If you know more, put them in the notes, and I might add them! And ty @enbycrip for the fantastic addition that covered a bunch of details I didn't get to)
Apps/Websites
eBird (birds
Merlin (birds)
citizenscience.gov (big project database, US-based)
iNaturalist (nature)
MapSwipe (collaboration between several Red Cross organizations and Doctors Without Borders, update vital geospatial data) Smithsonian archives (transcriptions, many subjects)
Cornell Bird Lab (birds)
FoldIt (folding proteins)
Fathomverse (sea animals)
Project Monarch (butterflies)
In person
Bioblitz (nature) Species watch (species) Audobon Society (birds)
Also:
Even if you don't have time to spend, but do have some processor cycles to spare, check out the projects available at BOINC's Compute for Science: https://boinc.berkeley.edu/
Bringing this back for the inauguration.
Don't spiral or doomscroll. Take a breath.
Then do something to help - both the world and yourself.
Hi! conservation scientist here! These are extremely helpful, especially the projects where you help ID species in camera traps! This can greatly help field sites work with local authorities to try to protect the land. By providing evidence of how diverse and active of an ecosystem there is living in a space (ESPECIALLY if one or more endangered species congregates), field scientists, local community environmentalists, and conservation minded politicians are able to better work together to try to protect natural spaces on a GLOBAL scale!
And you can do this with no background in conservation! We are all dying to get the public more involved in conservation (it takes all of us!) and these programs almost all have trainings on how to use them!
"Why is it a problem if students use AI to get through college"
Because if you demonstrate to me that you're willing to set aside concern for truth, evidence, and verifying things with your own eyes whenever it happens to be inconvenient for you, I have a solemn responsibility to make sure you don't get into medical school.
Polyamory book and worldbuilding book. Summer reading heck yeah.
