- Give us a Batfam animated series that follows them all in their day and night lives. Can it be ‘gritty’ or whatever words you like to use to describe those New Jersey bat/bird furries while fighting crime.
- But also just give us Dick driving Damian to school and Jason insisting he tags along just to embarrass the kid at drop off/pick up.
-Give us Tim with the biggest fucking bags under his eyes deadpanning while Dick teaches Damian how to hang from the chandelier while Alfred is hitting them with a fucking feather duster trying to get them down.
-Give me Jason and Cass talking about classic lit completely unfazed while Damian chases Tim around the manor with his katanas.
-Give me Steph threatening to eat Batcow when Damian makes fun of her.
-Give me Bruce getting scolded by everyone when he puts his feet up on the coffee table despite it being “my own damn house.”
-Give me Alfred having the week off and Bruce goes shopping and Duke decides to tag alone because he is convinced Bruce is going to make a fool of himself after they had this exact conversation:
- Give me Babs, Steph, Kate and Cass having a girls night and all the brothers get jealous and try to sabotage it but the girls are always one step ahead and by the end of it they invite everyone in to hang with them. Dick and Jason painting each others nails the most garish colors they can find, Damian eating the cucumbers off of Tim’s eyes just to piss him off, and Babs, Steph, Cass, and Kate immediately regretting inviting them to join. Duke was invited from the get go to hang with them but declined to go patrol because “the goons are less crazy than y’all I stg.”
- Give me a halloween special where Dick enters a nightwing costume contest and comes in 2nd place because “while your costume is pretty spot on, you just don’t have nightwing’s ass.” He was fine with this until he finds out the winner was Jason and has an identity crisis over whether or not he has the best ass in the family. Jason proudly puts his little trophy on the mantle for Dick to see every time he comes to the manor.
- Give me Tim getting angry at Jason and every time Jason tries to talk to him he pretends Jason is dead again. “God, it’s like I can still hear his voice.” “Dickhead, tell Tim to stop. I’m the only Robin who can make dead jokes.” “I died too, Jay.” “Shut up, Dick. You died for like 2 minutes before Luther revived you and then lied to us about being dead.” “...” “Todd, you buffoon, I died too.” “Fuck off, demon.”
- For the love god, give me an episode where they all have to go to a gala and all the shenanigans that ensue while they’re there and Bruce just looks utterly exhausted.
- Jason Todd is still technically ‘dead’ but decides to go to the gala anyways and at one point Dick pulls him to the dance floor as a joke but the media has a fucking field day thinking Dick has this mysterious boyfriend and Bruce has to pull some press conference bullshit where they’re like “.... Dick isn’t dating that man. It would be weird considering that’s my dead son Jason.” And Jason, instead of taking any of the questions or telling the doctored story of why he isn’t dead, just adds on “Yeah, why would I date Dickface? Have you seen him? He’s a man whore, I need someone loyal. And preferably not related.”
- Give me Dick keeping a scrapbook of all the patrols him and Damian went on where there are pictures of Damian labeled things like “Robin’s first joker venom ❤️” and it’s Damian glaring under a ventilator mask or whatever looking eerily like Bruce.
- Give me a beach episode where they never actually get to the beach because this whole family, for being known for being prepared for anything and everything, apparently does not know how to pack for free time. Bruce tries to bring the shark repellant and Cass just face palms while wearing the widest brimmed sun hat known to man.
- Give Steph and Dick interrogating potential perps vis a vis this scene in B99
- Give me an episode where Bruce is on patrol being a little too rough and gruesome (even for him) and pushing everyone away and it takes the entire family to pull him off of someone who they assumed did something particularly nefarious but when they finally pull him back they see it’s a petty thief clutching a string of pearls and they all decide to bench Bruce. They all force Bruce to go home for the night and stay with him and watch a movie. Bruce puts on The Mask of Zorro and when all the kids look uneasy, he goes on to say “This is the last happy memory I had with them... ___ years ago today.” And it all comes crashing down on them why he was so adamant on the jewelry thief with the pearls today of all days.
- Honestly this is just my tl;dr way of saying “DC, let me be in the writing room for an animated series surrounding the Batfam”
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