this mystery machine kills fascists

send me picture of moss

[penandinkprincess]

parenting commitment level 3000

[penandinkprincess]

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

[noah-wyles]

she's the best of us

[sightofsea]

love when cats hear that you've woken up even just a little bit and they're like hiiiiiii oh my god oh my god!!!!! i wrote some poems in the night let me recite them for you. this one is called: screaming and knocking your water bottle off your nightstand

[downwards--spiral]

[goodsmeller]

this is SO REAL i’ve been saying this

[goodsmeller]

i’m just saying, the substances scene in gotham would be unlike anything else . a fucking minefield. joker gas weed

[plantfunerals]

smokin on the shit that made harvey dent

[tastylemonbread]

smokin the shit that made that boy wonder

[corporationsarepeople]

[fellator]

doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something

[animentality]

[james-p-sullivan]

the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????

i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.

so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.

[james-p-sullivan]

this post was up for like five minutes and already im being told how wrong i am

fuck you, you can kiss my 30 year old ass

[feanor-the-dragon]

You know what? I needed to read this today

[nonaferatu]

This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace

[nonaferatu]

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

[adz]

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

[adz]

nods serenely

[fungalfaggot]

self-care phrases to boost your confidence

this shit ain't nothin to me man

I'll fucking kill you

.

[sacred-portal]

[atlasisreal]

they already peaked with the lighter lighter so. it's all clowns and hardware from here

[socialistexan]

I've never seen trad wives explained so perfectly. "Non-nude fetish content for sexist men"

[mothermara]

what if orpheus was butch and she unclipped her carabiner and held it out behind her and then eurydice clipped it onto her belt loop and then orpheus didnt have to look back because she could hear eurydice jingle jangling behind her. follow me for more dyke solutions to famous tragic literature

[dogpuppy]

[frenzyarts]

I’m a magician in the sheets 😏 *pulls a rabbit out of my pussy*

[give-grian-rights]

-Mary Toft, 1726

[the-dumb-smart-friend]

Hold on I need to look something up

[the-dumb-smart-friend]

What

[give-grian-rights]

yeah. sorry