"SURVIVING"
Oh this isnt normal, huh
hello vonnie
Not today Justin
Today's Document
YOU ARE THE REASON
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@anachronisticmayhem
"SURVIVING"
Oh this isnt normal, huh
Hi,
I’ve sent asks before talking about how much it means to me to see someone be so visibly queer.
I want to say that I also really appreciate your posts about being fat. Especially the ones you’ve made recently about doctors & fat phobia.
I think I fall into the realm of small fat, because people can’t really tell my weight just by looking at me. But I have had years of doctors telling me I’m obese, and suggest losing weight/healthy eating/exercise to help with my blood pressure and cholesterol. The blood pressure is definitely a combination of genetics and white coat syndrome, and I suspect the cholesterol is genetic too.
Basically, I am currently dealing with so many internalized biases because of the treatment from doctors, combined with the way people talk about weight and health. But I really appreciate seeing someone say that it’s not right to treat fat people like that just because you view their health as a moral failing on their part, even if their health problems stem from something they can control. And it just gives me a bit of hope that, even if all my health problems were directly my fault, it still wouldn’t mean I deserve to be treated bad for it
You don't deserve to be treated as unworthy of care by a doctor. Ever.
It doesn't matter how you got to where you are. What matters is that you are a person, and because you are a person, you are worthy of care and respect, especially from people who go into a caregiving profession! That's totally the job!
I've been having some really really long and deep conversations with one of my cousins recently - she's a cardiothoracic surgeon & her insight into why doctors can behave the way they do has truly opened my eyes. She doesn't try to justify any of it, to be clear, but understanding that people can shut off in defense or retreat to a defensive authoritative position when they don't know an answer has been helpful.
And hearing her way of addressing patient fears and talking them through the way that other doctors have treated them helps affirm to me that it is both possible and necessary to treat patients as though they deserve good, non-judgmental care. No matter what.
You deserve good care. It doesn't matter if you think it's "your fault" or even if it is 100% "your fault," you deserve good care, if for no other reason than a stressed-out patient doesn't heal as well! Doctors should turn down the judgment if only so they get better outcomes. Heh.
I don't want to make ““doctor’s appointments””and ““schedule a follow up.”” I want to be coaxed gently into a crate and taken to the vet.
Can I also get in on the part where the doctor patiently bears with me as I scream the entire time and then gives me some spray cheese on a tongue depressor?
The lemoniest of all lemon cookies 🍋💛
Sorry I'm late, I got added to the Wild Hunt last night and ran and reveled with them for what felt like 100 years plus a day until I landed the killing blow on a stag with bronze antlers then suddenly woke in my bed, willow leaves in my hair, a nameless song echoing in my ears, and my hands still bloody, so yeah, totally missed my alarm and stuff.
Seeing the notes on posts about the Burning Man Debacle™ and for fucks sake I am taking the phrase 'eat the rich' away from y'all until you can CORRECTLY IDENTIFY the rich
Rich is 'arrived by way of their private jet', is 'dropped $500k on a submarine ticket', is '$500 is a rounding error'.
'$500 dollars for a nine day event they must all be rich white people' no you reactionary rotten potato that is actually an entirely reasonable price for an entirely normal person to pay for an annual event! $500 over the course of a year is approximately equivalent to one big takeout a month! Being able to afford that doesn't make you rich it makes you probably not poor! The 'rich or poor' narrative is a false dichotomy that completely excludes the fact that 'richness' or 'poorness' is a SCALE! It's not fucking categorical! You don't one day magically flip a switch and go from 'poor' to 'rich' or vice versa you see incremental changes over time! Wealth distribution is a (these days, admittedly, rather wonky) motherfucking BELL CURVE! . The fact that capitalism is driving more and more people to either extreme of said curve is just evidence of a broken system, but it doesn't change the fact that most people should have a decent amount of disposable income!
The fact that many people don't have said disposable income doesn't magically make the ones that do 'rich' it makes everyone else poor. And the people at fault for the massive and growing percentage of people living below the poverty line are not the ones managing to stay above it, it's the fault of the actually rich, the ones stealing our time and our health and our wages and our future in pursuit of a number on a screen. And the rich are the only people you're helping by hating the people struggling slightly less than you.
When it comes time to 'eat the rich' you're going to be murdering dentists and librarians and scientists while the actually rich point and laugh from a safe distance as you solve their problems for them.
Some of you don't care about change, you're just hurt and bloodthirsty and want a soft target without having to learn anything.
squeeful:
#think of it this way #poor people can't go to burning man #or maybe could every few years #not-poor people go annually #working wealthy get paid millions to perform there #the actual rich? #can buy the festival #but yeah that last line
When it comes time to 'eat the rich' you're going to be murdering dentists and librarians and scientists while the actually rich point and laugh from a safe distance as you solve their problems for them.
Not to be an extra downer, but OP is entirely correct and moreover, when you notice people from former communist bloc countries or for that matter from currently communist countries or those of us with more knowledge-base than a poorly educated squirrel violently recoil from your "eat the rich" rhetoric?
It's because this isn't hypothetical to them. It happened. It is literally what fucking happened.
This is not an obscure risk. This is historically what has happened. And as with most things, the second that you add any other kind of axis of Otherness (the Black doctor; the queer dentist; the GNC librarian; the Jewish architect), the usual thing happens and the targeting becomes disproportionate.
Again. This is not hypothetical. This is literally history. Literally. The real meaning of "literally" in the case of some of those links. (Yes, every one of the wiki links above has hefty sources in the claims that you can follow back to the primary sources of the survivors and subsequent researchers.) This is "dekulakization", aka "we will distract everyone from our own failures by targeting farmers who have slightly more comfortable lives than the other farmers and convincing everyone they are the problem" aka "one of the many USSR atrocities committed significantly on Ukraine."
This is "round up all the PhDs and ship them to farm-labour concentration camps in the country because they are Enemies of the Revolution". And even in the cases where the "actually rich" do die (instead of escaping and disappearing into comfort), shockingly it seems a new hyper-unequal elite arise, as untouchable and disproportionately powerful as the old "rich" were, because the second poster is also right and there have been times when that group became the dominant one and swept everyone in its wake and we have the fucking body counts.
And finally: while yes, the fee is in fact a barrier for many, if you think there are no poor people at Burning Man you have in fact not met that many Burners. Of the ones I know, that 500$ fee is often the largest chunk of money they have in their hands in the year, and two of them go based on crowdfunded "sponsorships" because Burning Man is their psychological home and they do better going, and their friends and acquaintances care.
The cost as barrier of entry is an active and continual conversation in the community as I understand it (one of many, many active and continual fights conversations) because it's a pretty damn large group of people whose only uniting feature is "they go to Burning Man". Some of them are insufferable smug comfortably-off twats playing at Primitive Artist; some of them are quite unnerving individuals whose touch with reality one often worries about; many are marginal artists whose only privilege is a sufficiently unstable life that they can uproot and head to the desert for the duration on the regular because it's not like they could afford to keep that apartment at home anyway; and then many are just . . . ordinary people who like that kind of thing.
This isn't fucking Fyre Fest, people.
*waves* hi I am a scientist and while Burning Man isn't my thing, I knew at least two similarly-precarious scientists in grad school for whom it was, plus a number of their friends who were *checks notes* the same kind of nerdy hippie leftist twonks as me. There are lots of people who go in order to test things like "how good can we make a medic system?" or "can we build a functional city if we try X new thing?" or all manner of other things, because that's the kind of thing people do there. For fuck's sake, it's a huge anarchist crowd draw.
I am also a scientist who eyes the "eat the rich!!!" stuff and the related "scientists don't CARE about REAL people like ME, or CONSIDER the experiences of REAL people like ME, a QUEER/WOMAN/DISABLED PERSON/BIPOC/insert-group-here" anti-establishment vein that is quite popular on tumblr and flinches just a little.... because, yeah, what you're saying right there, Feather. Like, I'm over here working to stay in this fucky system because I want to use its power to shape it to work alongside known structural issues: I'm just one little fat queer autistic, me, but I spend a lot of time talking about how to make fields sit down and pay attention to viewpoints that don't always get the most airtime. and the thing is, I am not remotely alone: I work alongside whole networks of people who want to build a better world this way and are willing to sacrifice quite a lot, personally, to do it.
and that gets totally elided in these kneejerk desires for blood and vengeance, when we assume that "the rich" are the people in the neighborhood next door with a little more stability than we have, rather than the very few extremely wealthy people who... yeah, could buy Burning Man outright if they wanted. That's not say we shouldn't be angry and that this anger and desire for someone to pay isn't potentially productive, but you know the saying: friendly fire isn't [friendly]. It is critically important when we are stoking anger to be careful about exactly where that anger goes so that we can minimize spillover.
And I wonder: where do we draw the line on bloodshed? If you murder a king, the people who loved that king and what he represents turn him into a martyr and a hero. If you murder one of these wealthy oligarchs, some fraction of their people--their children, grandchildren, extended family, people who they've employed for years, people who imagine they could be that wealthy--those people will set their hands against you in their own vengeance. Should they be marched to the guillotine blades?
If you instead make them fear you so badly that they dare not lift a hand in response to their hearts filled with hatred and sorrow, does that build a better world? What stories will their children and yours hear about your terrible power? How tightly would you ferret out the secret, poisoned terror and grief and rage among the hearts of your people?
Wind time back. Return to the present. Consider: what if we fantasized not about murder, but seizure of property and redistribution? What if we simply think "we need to pick up these motherfuckers, shake out their vast heaps of wealth, and distribute it fairly so that everyone including those fuckers can access comfort and safety?"
Do their retainers harbor the same hatred for you? Oh, the money is gone, but everyone shares in the same comfort, even the screaming billionaire. (Vast wealth rots your brain: the billionaires are probably even more upset than they'd be in the timeline of the guillotines, and they are certainly around to enjoy their new humble circumstances, but when they are objectly also provided the freedom and enough resources to maintain the same comfortable lives as everyone else, it's hard for their families to be too resentful--especially when the children ask what happened, when those children are next born.)
Which world would you rather live in?
Personally, I think it's another example of people lifting taglines and not understanding the actual rhetoric behind them.
Folks are very quick to hit back against well-off snobs who are furious about the Unworthy Poor enjoying a lil luxury, right? We've all seen the responses to the sort of person who, for example, says they got a job in a food shop and they decided they were going to look the other way if someone stole bread, but instead people tried to steal cake and cooked meat, how dare they (real Tumblr example who got rightly tarred and feathered). We understand that "Bought a Starbucks because living in crushing misery is awful and unnecessary" is a fully morally defensible option. We understand that "Struggling to pay rent but bought avocado toast as a spirit- lifting treat" is perfectly logical.
So... why is it so outlandish that maybe someone saved up all that Starbucks and avocado money to buy the one big event in their year that makes them happy? That's how some people work. They save for one big thing rather than splashing on many little things. Charity shop clothes, but one real designer bag. Walking everywhere and making lunch, but a top of the line gaming computer. This is totally normal.
Why is it less fine than a feel-alive-again latte?
So incredible. 😍
I've watched this about 10 times now. Absolutely mesmerizing
Spoopy Season Safety
Oh my god reblog to save a me thank you
Reblogging even though it's way past Halloween bc this is an important reminder!
Stay away from anything with charcoal during this season if you are on ANY medication!!!
Good to know, as it is always at least a lil Halloween around here.
fun fact: any policy on drugs that isn’t harm reduction is going to cause addicts to suffer and die
fun fact: Drug addiction is a public health issue, and approaching it as if it were a law enforcement issue is prejudicial to addicts and will result in their suffering and death
if you just assume addiction is a method of self-medicating, you’ll pretty much never be wrong.
now, not everything people self-medicate for actually has a proper treatment. i’m pretty sure the reason my uncle made sure to be slightly drunk at all times ‘to round the sharp corners off of things’ was sensory processing disorder. i have that too, and i just kind of accept that i’m going to randomly get my brain sandpapered from time to time. there is no medication for that. all you can do is dull your senses. i’ve chosen not to, but i can’t blame him for his decisions. when a ringing phone feels like getting hit upside the head with a frying pan, liver damage sounds like a fair price to pay.
anyway, it seems really self-evident to me that people don’t enjoy living the life of an addict, they do it because the alternative looks worse. people don’t get addicted to substances just for funsies. they start making a habit of taking something because of insomnia, or grief, or headaches, or depression, or seething undirected rage and terror they can’t put a name to – something that they can’t ignore or shrug off. and for whatever reason – lack of access, lack of knowlege, lack of money, or it just plain doesn’t exist – they aren’t able to apply the Approved Correct Remedy. they use what they can get.
addicts aren’t some weird otherfolk who inexplicably just Do Drugs because they’re Bad. addicts are you with a problem you can’t solve.
these facts aren’t fun but they are pretty important
ADDICTS ARE YOU WITH A PROBLEM YOU CAN’T SOLVE
"I've been thinking about" something I've thought of for 5 seconds
"it just occurred to me" this has been bugging me for 11 years.
As someone who's spent half her life in the Gaming and Entertainment industries, let me tell you how FUCKED everything is.
For context, I'm a 34 year old trans woman who spent the last SEVENTEEN YEARS of my life in these industries. So half my life has been in this.
I'm currently 9 months out of work after being laid off from a huge well known company due to them "selling off half the company's outside studios so the core company could invest in NFTs and Blockchain."
Unemployment has fully run out for me at this point and I'm struggling.
This is not new. I'm not the only one. And what's more is that it's been happening to gaming and entertainment studios for years and it continues to get worse.
Day after day, week after week, month after month I've seen studios both big and small laying off workers and then announcing "AI! NFTS! BLOCKCHAIN!" shit constantly.
These companies have posted record profits and then have used those profits to... cut their staff and pay their execs more.
All the while they pretend to still be "FOR THE FANS" and as more of the workers unionize and try to band together shun those workers saying "HOW COULD YOU!? THE FANS WANT THEIR CONTENT!" as if the content is worth people's lives and livelihood.
The biggest thing we, as workers, are fighting for is FAIR PAY and to not have our works or voices used for AI!
And these studios keep saying NO, and then making it impossible for us to work or live.
The studio heads have purposely stonewalled talks and contact deals because they KNOW we are all underpaid and want to WAIT US OUT until we are SO POOR we HAVE to make a deal.
So if you continue to see my post (and posts from others like me) saying "Hey, I'm still out for work, if you have some spare money I'd really appreciate it" - please consider helping us out.
We want to get back to work and they won't let us without us selling away our souls.
here's to men with big tits, and women with no tits. kissing every one of you on the mouth (if you want)
trans men are handsome and it's fine if you think we're handsome & attractive no matter what we look like. it's good to like men with breasts, men with soft features, men who are curvy, men with big hips & thighs, men with vaginas, men who don't have hairy bodies or faces. it's good to like men no matter what bodies, shapes and sizes we are. as long as you respect that man's boundaries, needs, and privacy, it's not bad to think they look good as they are.
understanding the individual's needs, not forcing compliments on them they don't want, avoiding language that makes them uncomfortable and ultimately showing the person respect in needing to be addressed and viewed certain ways are the keys to appreciating the way a trans person looks without being disrespectful. it's not inherently chaser behavior to like how trans men look. it's a good thing, it's a healing, beautiful, powerful thing. it's t4t love. it's a wonderful thing to love trans men for how we look, no matter what stage of transition we're in, if we choose to transition at all
Your daily dose of cat memes
Have I told y’all about my husband’s Fork Theory? If I did already, pretend I didn’t, I’m an old.
So the Spoon Theory is a fundamental metaphor used often in the chronic pain/chronic illness communities to explain to non-spoonies why life is harder for them. It’s super useful and we use that all the time. But it has a corollary. You know the phrase, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” right? Well, Fork Theory is that one has a Fork Limit, that is, you can probably cope okay with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you will lose your shit if one more fork happens. A fork could range from being hungry or having to pee to getting a new bill or a new diagnosis of illness. There are lots of different sizes of forks, and volume vs. quantity means that the fork limit is not absolute. I might be able to deal with 20 tiny little escargot fork annoyances, such as a hangnail or slightly suboptimal pants, but not even one “you poked my trigger on purpose because you think it’s fun to see me melt down” pitchfork.
This is super relevant for neurodivergent folk. Like, you might be able to deal with your feet being cold or a tag, but not both. Hubby describes the situation as “It may seem weird that I just get up and leave the conversation to go to the bathroom, but you just dumped a new financial burden on me and I already had to pee, and going to the bathroom is the fork I can get rid of the fastest.”
I like this and also I like the low key point that you may be able to cope with bigger forks by finding little ones you can remove quickly. A combination of time, focus, and reduction to small stressors that can allow you to focus on the larger stressor in a constructive way.
does this mean somewhere there is a knife theory?
Knives are traumas that require help to fix. Take a fork out and stress is reduced. Take a knife out and you better be prepared to stop the bleeding.
Have I told y’all about my husband’s Fork Theory? If I did already, pretend I didn’t, I’m an old.
So the Spoon Theory is a fundamental metaphor used often in the chronic pain/chronic illness communities to explain to non-spoonies why life is harder for them. It’s super useful and we use that all the time. But it has a corollary. You know the phrase, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” right? Well, Fork Theory is that one has a Fork Limit, that is, you can probably cope okay with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you will lose your shit if one more fork happens. A fork could range from being hungry or having to pee to getting a new bill or a new diagnosis of illness. There are lots of different sizes of forks, and volume vs. quantity means that the fork limit is not absolute. I might be able to deal with 20 tiny little escargot fork annoyances, such as a hangnail or slightly suboptimal pants, but not even one “you poked my trigger on purpose because you think it’s fun to see me melt down” pitchfork.
This is super relevant for neurodivergent folk. Like, you might be able to deal with your feet being cold or a tag, but not both. Hubby describes the situation as “It may seem weird that I just get up and leave the conversation to go to the bathroom, but you just dumped a new financial burden on me and I already had to pee, and going to the bathroom is the fork I can get rid of the fastest.”
I like this and also I like the low key point that you may be able to cope with bigger forks by finding little ones you can remove quickly. A combination of time, focus, and reduction to small stressors that can allow you to focus on the larger stressor in a constructive way.
does this mean somewhere there is a knife theory?
Knives are traumas that require help to fix. Take a fork out and stress is reduced. Take a knife out and you better be prepared to stop the bleeding.