certified dumbass

20s / Poland / any pronouns

[callali1y]

you dumb bitch

[dazeylily]

leaving this in the drafts really says it all

[willgrahamscock]

I can’t stop thinking about the fact that mads mikkelsen invited hugh dancy to the premier of men & chicken to watch him furiously jack off in it then took this picture and you’re telling me you couldn’t let their whore lips connect in nbc hannibal just a little bit 

[chiefkyiv]

sorry if i was a bitch i probably wanted to go home

[anaesthetizethisbitch]

I'M ALIVE AGAIN

[pluviofleur]

stretches my legs out so far with all toes spread out wide

[pluviofleur]

[bunney]

yes friends let us blaze the marijuana! four hundred and twenty haha

[teampunkrocket-moved-deactivate]

[calellon]

being on this app and also having a lot of bisexuals in your social circles will deadass make you forget 100% straight people actually exist sometimes

[megannfay]

That does not deserve to hide in the tags

[rainydayscore]

I think the historical treatment of left handed people is objectively the funniest form of bigotry mankind has ever displayed

[be-a-dandelion]

Bitches will create a binary and use it to oppress the other side for ANYTHING

[tpwrtrmnky]

The etymology of the word “sinister” having Latin roots that just mean “on the left” is easily up there with the origin of “bad”

[codebreakerblue]

Correct

[squirrelmop]

[smallerdelusions]

Had to do a double take when I first saw this; I thought the peel was a creature. May I gift you: pineapple dragon?

[alexaloraetheris]

@elodieunderglass

[elodieunderglass]

Enchanting! Thank you! The pineapple dragon would be so well-armoured against piercing attacks 🥹

[sufficientlylargen]

Putting the "eel" in "peel".

[ladymirdan]

[pochowek]

[slimegirlnuclei]

[cosmiccatboyfriend]

[should-be-sleeping]

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

[should-be-sleeping]

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

[justprettygay]

[should-be-sleeping]

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

[should-be-sleeping]

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

[aletheyass]

have you heard of this spray that makes you see hair on your face that is otherwise invisible so you can shave it with a dull plastic razor that comes in a 20 pack which will be on this planet for hundreds of years??? buy. have you heard of this single use sheet masks that does nothing different than a normal mask and you have to wear it overnight (it will come off) and on flights (you look crazy)??? buy. have you heard of this camera that makes you see your greasy scalp (normal) and dead skin (also normal) up close so you can purchase a treatment for hundreds of dollars and/or exfoliating scrub containing particles that are going down your drain and straight into the sea???? buy. have you heard of this special plastic gadget that

[lgbtranswoman]

Ice cold takes from a Transgender Woman:

Not all Men are evil

Everyone has the capacity for evil

Transgender Men are men

Transgender Women are women

Excluding Cisgender Men from your spaces requires Transgender Men to out themselves if they want to engage (Same for Women)

Anyone can be Non-Binary, there is no "look" or requirement

Non-binary masculine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces, many are just treated as men and predators

Non-binary feminine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces without being seen as "Woman-Lite"

[tzvi]

wait did something happen to Jesus

[cosmonautroger]

[mudwerks]

comedic timing

[were--ralph]

I just think its weird we live in a world where graphic murder depicted on television/internet is fine and shows glorifying serial killers is okay but showing a tiddie or a vagina is as bad as telling Jesus to fuck himself

[mxtomituck]

Kissing Jesus in order to betray him to the Romans? ✅

Imprisoning Jesus? ✅

Beating Jesus? ✅

Crucifying Jesus? ✅

Killing Jesus? ✅

Sticking your Nasty Unwashed Fingers into an Open Wound of Jesus’? ✅

Jesus Full-Frontal? ❌❌❌❌❌ JAIL!!