like every book there's a scene where murderbot has to explain something horrific that secunits are put through to its humans and it moves on (because it is functioning 90% due to denial and repression) while everyone else is horrified and each time it feels exactly like this:
"the governor module will freeze you in place at your client's command and force you to do nothing as they're kidnapped then will kill you terribly and painfully when they're taken out of acceptable range"
Murderbot just knows it as āthe way it isā. As it starts to break free the story follows its own journey to self-awareness and the beginnings of an understanding of the value of life. The story skims lightly over a deep sea of horror and abuse, because thatās the only way to survive until you can start to heal. Preservation is the mirror being held up to āthe way it isā. Humans donāt have to be like the way they are in the Corporation Rim. Murderbot has the genetics of its own oppressors built into itself, which it hates and wants to deny in the beginning. But it realizes that the ones oppressing it were the product of their own system, and they themselves were victims as well. Sanctuary Moon was its first look into what it means to be human. Or part human. What humans dreamed of being as well. Maybe Preservation was a window that allowed Murderbot to escape. But it had to first understand how to make a human connection.
I read a very formative article a number of years ago which said that every book a child reads, no matter what their life circumstance, improved their life outcome. The act of reading helped the childās brain to grow, gave them more ability to imagine something better for themselves, and increased their awareness and compassion for others. This, in turn, made the entire trajectory of their life better.
I think it was the same for Murderbot.
I wrote this all out in the tags but it turned into enough of an essay that, fuck it, it's going in the post.
I just reread Fugitive Telemetry and I think it's so interesting to see all the little moments like this with Indah and Aylen.
They both start out deeply afraid and suspicious of MB, in a way that MB doesn't want to acknowledge but is definitely very painful. But through the course of their interactions, they have enough Wendy's Lady moments that they start to change.
And I don't think Murderbot picks up on this much, if at all. I think it would be surprised to know how much both of their opinions of Murderbot have changed through the course of the events of FT. But MB just keeps dropping these little hints, little stories and anecdotes, little things about the CR that it just Knows. And they're both standing there like "what the fuck... Holy shit... That's so fucked ...." And they both soften up so much to MB. (Helped significantly by the extreme competency MB displays the whole time, but also just through its sheer... Well humanity isn't the right word. Undeniable personhood. They start to see past the scary Secunit and start to see the scared and hurt person that Mensah first saw wrapped up in a blanket in the cubicle.
The moment that drove this home most to me is the way Indah quietly supports it after What Happened with The People in That One Scene. When you know MB is devastated but not actually able to articulate why even to itself in any meaningful way. And Indah is just there, supporting it quietly and carefully and giving it space, but also affirming "you have just been violently dehumanized, and I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I do see you as a person and it sucks that this happened and I'll press charges against them if you want." (I think MB doesn't really process that concept. Imagine a SecUnit making a complaint about a human and it being taken seriously? It's definitely not ready for that yet.)
But the way that in the last chunk of FT she's just quietly affirming MBs personhood. She's seen the cruelty it's lived with all its life and now she can see the person who never deserved it. It's earned Indah and Aylen's trust, and probably most of the station security team, just by being itself, through its undeniable personhood.
Yes ā¤ļø
The *layers* in the writing.
Don't wanna lose these tags too
