Requests are closed❌

I have a name, but I won't mention it. Call me Ana or A. I am so in love with Evan Peters it's sick. Most of my stories are about. I am also madly in love with Kit Harington, and James McAvoy. For masterlists( outdated ) type in anaomynous.tumblr.com into your search bar, or type that into your mobile browser instead of the app :] and please, don't steal my stories or I will be your worst nightmare :].

[anaomynous]

Hello,

I know it's been years since I've posted anything and I hope you all are doing good! I am posting to let everyone know I am on Wattpad now too and have finally started to post stories there. I am writing a Kylo Ren story that I am working so hard on haha, and if anyone misses my writing wants to read it I'd love that so much 😊. I'm trying to make it fit into the Star Wars universe by staying somewhat accurate to the existing stories there are with a lot of research. I want it to sound like it would piece right in with everything else, being a view of someone who was in love with Ben Solo before he turned into Kylo Ren and coming to face him again years later.

I'll perhaps go back to this Tumblr sometime soon since there are so many of you on here still, but for right now I'm really digging Wattpad. I was in a terrible relationship for years, so all my writing had to be under wraps since I write fanfictions anonymously. It means a lot that I finally am able to do this again.

Hope you like it!!

[anaomynous]

James March P7

"Mrs. March, Devil's Night is upon us, let us go adventure as planned, I am even already dressed for the occasion!" Exclaimed James, his hat in his hands, before placing it on his head. I laid there, staring at the wall and sighed. "My dearest love, though I appreciate the gesture I want to stay in. Go enjoy Devil's Night with everyone." I said, not moving from the spot I was in. James sighed deeply, removing his hat; rubbing his thumbs over the rim. "Well, alright, whatever your heart desires. I do believe you should get up, and accompany me. I've felt so lost without your constant presence beside me. We have so much time, might as well enjoy it," He said softly. I watched him through the corners of my eyes as he began towards the door. He stopped for a brief moment to look back at me, before closing the door. Something about the pain in his voice, and the disappointment of his demeanor felt like someone hitting me in the chest. He was hardly ever emotionally unnerved like this.

James' POV

I knew that it was selfish of me, to feel forlorn in such a way, however I could not help, but feel as if I had failed my darling wife. As I walked to meet them for Devil's Night all my mind could think about, was her. Her pain, her confusion, her suffering. In hurt me as well as it hurt her. I stayed silent for a long time, dissociated in my thoughts. "Mr. March!" Yelled out Richard, running his fingers through his dark, curly, hair. "What's wrong with our master? You're not acting like yourself," "Yeah, we're all noticin' you always tell us that emotions are a weakness!" Exclaimed John Wayne Gacy with a chuckle. I sighed deeply "Nothing my friends, just enjoy your meal," I lied with a smirk. I stirred my cup, looking at my Randy, my swirling thoughts all so similar to it. Ms. Evers placed a hand on my shoulder. I grabbed her hand in frustration, and then realized what I was doing, angry that my emotions were being brought up. "Please, forgive me." I stammered, before I pushed my chair out. "I apologize my friends, but I must be excused," "Mr. March you've hardly touched your food," Ms. Evers said, showing me the plate. "I said, I must be excused," I said through gritted teeth. I wondered down to the bar, where Liz was cleaning up. "I thought it was your famous Devil's Night?" Asked Liz. I sighed deeply "You understand how women think," I said before sitting down before her, she handed me a whiskey on the rocks as I sat down. "Problems with the Mrs? You two never have problems, you're too perfect." I held my glass and looked into it for a moment, hesitating to answer. "I feel like I am losing her, she is far inside of her mind, being consumed in her thoughts of her eternity being here, and Elizabeth not truly making a mends, she's becoming lost in her own mind. I do not know what to do," I spoke honestly, allowing my calloused self to be vulnerable, hoping she would give me some answers as to what it is I needed to do. "That's a hard one James'. She's a beautiful, mind. More intelligent than she should be. Unfortunately when we realize how life really is, we lose sight of who we are. Just keep being kind and understanding, she'll come around. Do your best to not get mad at her, that's an asshole thing to do." "Liz you're wise beyond your years," she smiled and snapped "Honey, you have no idea,"

I chuckled and finished my whiskey, before leaving. I walked down the steps of the hotel, Iris watching me as I walked towards the doors, and venturing outside. "What can I do," I whispered, watching the life outside, children dressed up in masks, running around in the streets, getting candy in their bags, decorations filling the buildings, these little beasts. Completely oblivious to the pain the world was yet to bring them. I had to figure out what to do, I needed to bring life back into her.

[punkdaddyphil]

😇😇

[ilovemovieposters-blog]

Evan Peters in AHS

[akamatthewmurdock]

[anaomynous]

James March p6

"Come in, Jewel," She said, her tone soft, and her expression gentle. I walked into her suite, and watched her sit down. She patted the spot next to her, and I obliged. "So, I want to make this up to you as I said before. I am willing to correct the history of this to say you weren't murdered by James, however, I will leave it anonymous as to who it was." I stared at her, "You're still not taking responsibility?" She chuckled "Who would believe that I did it?" She maintained eye contact with half lidded eyed, drinking down what champagne she had left. "On the condition you leave me alone, you can stay here of course, but I dont want to see you, I dont want to hear you, I want you far from my presence." I chuckled, "Bitch... You extend me an offer as if you cared about my feelings. As if you truly wanted to make it up to me." I laughed lightly, "And here I wanted to believe you did, but you still won't take responsibility for what you have done to me, you took everything AWAY FROM ME!" I yelled, slapping her hard across her face. "I was foolish to believe that this was an offer of peace, when all you wanted was to correct a lie you started, that a man who worships my existence, murdered me then killed himself from the guilt." I began to walk to the door, as she walked towards me, and spun me around. "Life isn't fair, and neither is death. All creatures on this Earth meet their end in a terrible way, alone, in the darkness, being swallowed by it. I wanted what I didnt have; power. Do you think I would still be here, without it? Me killing you was necessary, I only wanted to make it right, so you could move on." She said softly, ending with a gentle smile, her sociopathic ways, surfacing. I shook my head. "Get off me," I said, pushing her hands away. I opened the door with force, giving her one last look before I ran back to my room. "My dear where have you been?" James asked in a confused tone, as I rushed in. My heart was pounding, as I looked into his eyes and shook my head. "What's happened?" He asked gently, before walking over to me. "Elizabeth wanted to meet with me to try and make peace, and her offer was just a passive aggressive, waste of time. She wanted to hurt me, and she did." I walked passed him and to our room, laying on the bed. " Why did I have to die this way?" I said, laying my head on my pillow. He sat down by me, and with a gentle stroke, put my hair behind my ear. "My love, no use feeling this way, we're both dead dear, and that is all there is. You have been fixated on these things for months, what is it that changed?" "Realizing I'm a murderous monster, when the person who deserves it the most, is still living a luxurious life, while I take innocent lives," I said my voice cracking. I sighed deeply, and buried my face into the silky pillow. James continued to touch my sea of black hair until I soon enough fell asleep.

I hardly left the room, for months, I couldn't sleep, I could hardly speak, and my eternity with my one and only became us living in hell. I was a good person... And I was condemned to this. "Jewelia," James said as he walked in, I looked over to him, and didnt say a word, before looking back to the wall. My hair was greasy, dark circles around my eyes, only wearing a tone instead of my usual nicely done appearance. "My love, I brought this," He spoke holding a beautiful diamond necklace, with emeralds. I smiled a closed lipped smile, and laid my head back down. "Thank you, darling," I said softly, pulling the blanket back up over my shoulder. He walked over to me, the bed creaking from his weight, resting his elbows on his knees, and hanging his head in his hands. The necklace clenched in his fingers, sparkling against the sunlight. "What can I possibly do, to console you? It hurts me when you hurt," He said, pulling his face out and resting his chin on his hands. "I just want you to be okay, my moon and stars," He turned towards me, and looked into my sunken eyes. "Mrs. March," He said with a sweet smile. "Yes, Mr. March?" "Oh how I love when you say that to me." He kissed me passionately, before he sat back up. His shoes hitting the hard wood, he took one last look at me before leaving. I was a mess, I wanted nothing to do with this any longer. If I wasn't already dead I would kill myself to make this suffering go far away from my body and mind. I was in pure and honest agony, wishing I could end it. This was my forever.

[anaomynous]

James March P5

As Halloween approached, the more excited I became. James and I would finally go on a date, and be as though we were alive. James was out in the hotel, stalking people to kill like prey. Usually I would go with him, but something inside me was changing. My guilt was coming back, and so was my empathy. "Jewel," I heard behind me, I turned around, to see Elizabeth standing behind me. "Elizabeth," I said coldly. She approached me, coming closer, more than I was comfortable with. "Listen," she spoke softly "I have no time to listen to the words of yours," I scowled, turning away from her. "If I could go back in time and change what I did, believe me, I would. For decades you've made sure to remind me of what I did, and I-" "Please, save it for someone who honestly has compassion for you, because I do not." I said "You deserve it, you deserve all of it, you deserve the reminder of what you took from me, and nothing will ever change that." I hissed, walking past her to my bedroom. "I want to make this up to you, I want to make this right. And you're right, Jewel, I deserve this, but I want to see how truly sorry I am. " "I do not trust you," I said with a smile. "I want nothing to do with you. Nothing at all." "Please, Jewel, let me make this up to you." "Nothing you can do will make up for taking an innocent life of someone who wanted to help you. I am not forgiving anymore. What so ever, and I will not fall into your spider trap, for you are just like me. Your heart is black, you have no mercy, no compassion, no forgiveness. I'm not stupid enough to fall victim to you again," "You deserve your revenge, Jewel, and I know that to be true," I sighed deeply, feeling a sense of wanting to believe her, but not being naive enough to think she really wanted to make a mends with me at all. "Fine," I spoke "I'll give you one chance, this one time. If you do something to me, you know what will happen." I said walking closer to her. She nodded her head, her face made of stone.

She had me meet her alone in her suite, me not telling James, because of the reaction he would have. I knocked on the door and she quickly opened it, she smiled at me, holding a glass of champagne between her fingers. She gestured me inside, and I slowly walked in not knowing what to expect.

[anaomynous]

James March p4

It was a long night, unable to sleep, I ventured down to the bar, hoping Liz Taylor could be of company to me. "All these fucking ghosts and vampires, I lose track of them all," She said pouring me a drink. "I have seen it all, murder, suicide, what made you decide to start killing people? I know you are an unrested woul, angry about your life taken from you, and well, the countess taking your fortune, and... Well, I guess I can understand mama." She said, propping herself up with her elbows, leaning over the bar. "At least someone understands," I said, drinking the martini she had made for me. I often thought back to the good times I had, the romance, meeting James, my father's blessing, and then being drowned in a sink. Of all things to die by, in a sink. Then everyone assuming my dear husband killed me, and then killed himself. The papers called us Romeo and Juliet, except Romeo was a murderer. How I wish I could go back, and discover who I was. "I was a good person once," I said, a brief wave of guilt splashing over me. A feeling unfamiliar to me now. "I loved everyone, I was a gentle soul." I stirred my drink, doing my best to hold my tears back. I was a monster, a murderous monster. "I should return to my chambers, Liz," I said, clearing my throat, and composing myself. "Okay, Jewels." She said grabbing my glass off the bar.

I walked into our room, unable to sleep, stuck on the fact that I used to be different. I was driven to insanity, but what was the point of all this? Do I want to spend eternity as a killer, and doing the same old thing as I do every day? Some say, spirits repeat the same things, and get stuck in the same routine, over, and over, and over again. I thought back to the moment I met James, celebrating the Hotel Cortez, Elizabeth and I still friends, before her mind was corrupt. Him watching me from âcross the room, smiling at me as I looked over to him. Him opening a bottle of champagne and drinking excitedly from the water fall. Not giving a damn about my reputation of being unmarried, and the rumors of me being a Jezebel. He looked past that, looked into my soul, looked into my heart. "Darling," Said James in a tired tone, draping his arm over me, as I laid down. "Why are you up at this hour?" He asked, kissing the back of my neck. "I am pondering," I responded, lacing my fingers between his. "Pondering about?" He asked sleepily. "Its nothing, my love, sleep," I said softly, "Please, just tell me dear," I didnt know where to begin, reminiscing on the life I had. "I want to go back in time, relive our life, change the circumstances that led us to be stuck here. I am growing bored of taking the lives of the innocent, and I feel guilt for my actions, I know not what I should do," I said softly, holding back my tears of grief for the life we lost. James woke up more and leaned over me. "It's okay, this is our life now, instead of focusing on old memories, let us make new ones," He said caressing my lips with his thumb before kissing me. "We do the same things every day, we make love, we murder, we torment. I'm growing tired of all of this, James." I felt a sense of panic come over me. "Have I gone mad?" I whispered, for the first time in decades I began to feel bored, and empty. "Oh yes, but I am also delightfully mad, my love. We are mad together, just you and me forever." "Forever of doing this same routine is wearing me thin, James, an eternity with you is fine, I couldn't be happier of that fact, but I long to enjoy our life we have, in other ways. I crave long carriage rides on the cobblestone streets, walks through the parks, parties, showing our love to the world," I said sadly, my heart broken that I could not have this. "Halloween approaches, meaning we can leave and enjoy our time," He cooed, running his fingers through my hair, "oh but that dreadful dinner," I said thinking of Jeffrey Dahmer, who I detested to my marrow, "We can skip that, or they can do it without us this year," he spoke, comforting me calmly. I smiled jubilant at the idea that I could feel alive once again.

[anaomynous]

James March P3

We walked into our room, practically running to our bed as we giggled. He aggressively began tearing off my tight, fitting dress, peppering my neck with kisses. "My darling, all I could thing about was you beneath me," He spoke into my ear his lips grazing my skin as he spoke. His fingers dragging against my skin, he pulled off his suit jacket, gently folding it and placing it on the nightstand, showing the muscular detail in his arms. I undid each button slowly, un- doing his tie for him, and pulling down his suspenders; then his trousers, revealing his desire for me. He chuckled, aggressively pulling me closer by my neck. He pushed me onto the bed, slowly moving over me, his unbuttoned shirt still lingering. I looked down at his chiseled, god like body, looking as though that he was a walking piece of art. His mouth met mine passionately, his arms wrapping around me. He began pulling down my under garments, "You know my dear how much I love lace against your snow white skin," He said in a low voice. He quickly pulled down his own, and positioned himself. He trusted hard into me, each motion slow, and hard. He leaned down kissing me softly, latching onto my neck. My arms and legs wrapped around his body, wanting to keep him there forever. His motions quickened, before a door flew open. We both looked over and saw the same man who robbed me of my jewels standing in the doorway. "What is the meaning of this interruption?!" Yelled James as he covered me quickly. "Have you ever heard of knocking?" He spoke as he buttoned his shirt back up, as well as his under garments. "Ghost sex, I didnt know ghosts had sex," he said with a laugh. "You scoundrel!" I yelled. "Get out of here, now," "I know who both of you are, Mr. And Mrs. March, the original owners of this Hotel, murdering your own wife bro, pretty sick," He said with a slight laugh. James face turned red "I DID NOT, MURDER MY WIFE, GOD DAMN IT!" His perfect hair, becoming undone. The room went silent as he huffed loudly. "I would have rather died than ever touch her in an manner such as that, I murdered hundreds of imbeciles, my wife would never be one of those numbers, I love her with a roaring fire, that no one can possibly comprehend," The man chuckled "Then who did?" "Elizabeth, or as you know her: The Countess," I spoke coldly. He laughed "Whoa, I mean shit, I believe anything now, seeing as I Googled both of you, and saw your pictures." "Google? That sounds obscene!" Said James, as he pulled his suspenders over his shoulders. "Yeah, my name is Tristan Duffy, I'm a fan," he said, trying to feed James' ego. "You're a fan of a murderer?" Asked James with a puzzled look. James looked over at me, and sighed "Get out now," He spoke, walking over to Tristan, shoving out before shutting and locking our doors. I stood up finally, finding another dress to wear that was more comfortable. "So sorry my love, I was careless in allowing him to stay so long," He said as he walked over to me, and pulled me into a hug, putting his chin on the top of my head, and running his fingers through my long, black hair.

As the night began to hit 3 A.M I walked slowly to Elizabeth's suite. She was not inside yet, and I felt it would be a nice surprise to laugh, at the fact she was losing our wealth, and her sanity. I sat down in her chair, pouring some of the wine she had set on the table. The doors opened soon enough, with a man who was not Donovan, but Tristan. I laughed as they stopped and stared. "Get out, Jewelia," She said coldly. I sat there continuing to stare "Get out!" She yelled. "Now now, no need to be rude, I just wanted to pay you a visit, this room is getting uglier by the days," I said getting up and picking up a horrible vase. The room was modern, and hideous. "Why are you here?" She said walking over to me. "I wanted to congratulate you on losing all your money, or should I say, mine and James' money. You never were that intelligent to know how to handle such a fortune," I said setting the vase down. She didnt say anything as her cheeks turned red under her pounds of makeup. "So, what's going on here?" Asked Tristan, still standing at the doorway, Elizabeth chuckled. "Nothing, just an old ghost who doesn't know her place," She hissed as she walked past me. I grabbed the vase and broke it against the wall. "No! That was priceless!" She stammered, as she rushed to the glass pieces. "Fuck you," I said, before walking away towards the door and past Tristan. James' waited in the hallway, and walked with me back to our room. "It went very well," I said in a cheerful tone, loving every second of tormenting her, my spirit always will, until someone drives a wooden stake through her vampire heart.

[anaomynous]

James March P2

I gracefully walked to the elevator, holding onto James' arm. He smiled at me, as we arrived to the party. The dreadful music so loud it was deafening. "Are you sure you want to come down here?" "Yes darling, the mere presence we will bring is enough to irritate her." He said with a smile that was devious. We made our way to the bar, where Liz was overwhelmed with drunkards, completely taking up the bar like parasites. "Hey mama," Liz said in a yell, so I could hear her voice. "Could we just have a glass of red wine, and Brandy on the rocks Miss Taylor?" Spoke James with a smile. "I got you," She said with a wink; before presenting our drinks. We both smiled at her, before examining the repulsive look of the hotel, our hotel. James had built from the ground up. All of that work, being desecrated from the inside out, in order to gain more attention, be more "modern," The Countess often said or should I say, Elizabeth. I walked over to the balcony, looking down at her. She locked eyes with me immediately, her eyes smoldering with hatred and anger, a gaze that was often directed towards James and myself. I often made sure I terrorized her, haunting her for the murder she had committed, my murder. Then trying to take my devoted husband away from me, the hurt it felt for my very best friend to try and take my place, was unlike any other way that I could describe in mere words, only feelings. I was untested, unable to ever forgive her, she took my life away from me, I wanted a family, to grow old with my soulmate, however we were stuck here as spirits forever, dammed in our Hotel Cortez. I was kind once, an innocence I no longer had in my heart. It was bleak, I was driven to insanity, becoming a serial killer, just like James. The world is an ugly, disgusting, chess pool of shit. I smiled and blew a kiss towards her, before swallowing a big gulp of my wine maintaining eye contact. She shook her head at me, before a man beside her, squeezed her arm, talking to her and looking up at the bar. She smiled at him, and caressed his face, turning his head towards her. I retreated backwards, before going back to my seat, finishing what was left of my wine. "Nice costumes," a man who was very intoxicated said, his breath reeking of alcohol. "I love old stories of serial killers, James March was legendary, I was hoping to see his ghost, that's why I came to this party," "You're a fan?" I asked with a smile, before looking back at James. "Of course, he was a genius, for him to kill his beautiful wife though, that was cold," my expression changed, and I cleared my throat "He never murdered me, my best friend did," I said coldly "She wanted everything I had," he began to laugh "Oh my God, you're so good! Did she hire you as impersonators," "I can assure you dear boy, we are as authentic as you will get, what if I told you we're the real Mr and Mrs. March?" James spoke, stirring his glass with his hand delicately. "I'd say you're both full of shit," He said before laughing. " "Then you are obviously, not a real fan, to not recognize him and I right in front of your face, kid," I said with a wink. "Can we leave please, I hate this party," I pleaded with James. He nodded "Of course my lady," he grabbed my hand and kissed it, before leaning to my ear. "How else am I supposed to make ravenous love to you like an uncaged animal anyways," shivers went down my spine as I looked at him with a smirk "Then let's get to it then."

We ventured back to our hotel, James grabbing hold of me, before pressing me against the wall, hungrily kissing my neck. "Could you please go to your room before you fuck? You're making me sick," commented another ghost in this hotel, named Sally; a heroin addict who was pushed from a window by Iris, because she had caused Elizabeth's lover, Donovan's death, who just happened to be Iris' son. She slammed her door behind her, both of us looking at each other. "Let's go to our room then, my love," I spoke with passion in my voice, ready to jump on him, and wrap myself around him.

[anaomynous]

James March: Hotel sequel. P1

Hello! I am making a part 2 to my original Hotel story, I hope you all enjoy this as much as my older one. Masterlist coming soon.

Music played, my favorite song: Moonlight Sonata. I drank wine my red wine, moving my fingers to the beat. I folded my legs, and felt the velvet of the chair on my skin. "Ah darling," I said looking at my beautiful husband. He turned around, a cup of brandy in his hand, and a cigar between the fingers of his other hand. His black hair perfectly styled, wearing his best suit. He winked at me, putting his cigar in his teeth "A vision you are, my one and only," he chuckled as I batted my eyes towards him. I watched him walk into the bedroom, before I continued losing myself in the music. Suddenly the door flew open, and I watched as some imbecile came in, his hair cut in a ridiculous manner. He began to go through my jewelry, pocketing it and rummaging through my vanity. "EXCUSE ME!" I said loudly, he shockingly turned around and stared at me. "What do you think you are doing, going through a women's things is quite rude, put my things back this instant," "Oh yeah? What will you do if I don't, old Hollywood?" I lifted my dress and pulled a glock out of my garter, pointing at him as I cocked it. He began towards the door, as I shot the wall in front of him. He stopped stunned, petrified. I laughed "I'm just fucking with you," I said getting closer to him. "You are a star aren't you? I've seen you down stairs at that party full of people who want to tarnish my husbands hotel. Just like any star before you, you will grow bigger, consuming all before you, before you implode and die. Then no one will ever know you existed." I said taking a sip of my wine. "Listen, psycho bitch, you don't know what you're talking about," "A bitch you say?" I heard from behind me. James walked up from behind me, his lips touching the tender skin on my shoulder. "Do you know who you're calling a bitch?" He said with a smile, the man shook his head nervously "He took my jewels," I said, my tone obvious to my irritation. "Now now, my love, we can't shoot our guests," I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I can get you more jewels, darling, you know that," "I think you forget we are dead," I said, keeping my gun on him. "Dead?" He said, looking at James and me confused. "Mrs. March," James whispered in my ear. "Let me handle this," he said, kissing my cheek, caressing my jawline with his index finger. I sighed deeply, looking at him one last time. Before lowering my gun. I walked to the room listening as best I could, before there were gunshots. I excitedly ran out, hoping he had killed the thief. That's when I saw Mrs. Evers' scowling at me, and a dead girl in the spare bed. "James!" I exclaimed shaking my head. He looked at me, coming down from his high. Composing himself, before looking at me. "So sorry my dear, I had to let him go. I see potentional in him, very impressionable." I sighed deeply, before walking into our bedroom. He walked in, closing the door behind him. I stared outside the window, and looked at him over my shoulder. "Please don't fret my dear, soon we shall kill the fool." He put both hands over my shoulders, goosebumps rising from my pale skin. He moved my long black hair, out of the way of my neck and kissed me. I giggled, as he peppered me with kisses, his hands still on my shoulders, as he playfully nipped at my skin. "James," I said with a giggle. "You know I love this red dress on your figure. Very ravishing. I like taking it off even more so, my darling." "James, you're so perverse tonight!" I said biting my lip. "And that lipstick," He kissed my hand and up my are. "The way your green eyes look against your dark makeup," kissing until he was back to my neck. He spun me around, and kissed me deeply. Music began to play loudly from downstairs from the party the Countess was having. "Oh the nerve of that fucking woman. That noise, that infernal noise! Every weekend, nothing, but that horrible noise." Complained James "She does not care about the dead, especially us," I said rolling my eyes. We both sighed, the mood now ruined. "I will tear your clothes apart later my love, for now, let's go crash a party,"

[anaomynous]

Oh hai!!

Sorry I am so terrible at keeping up with my followers, and updating my masterlists 😭. I love Evan, but I still continue to lose my drive for it. I will keep writing Kai's story, and promise to update it soon. My life has also been insane the past few months. Anyways, for my Star Wars lovers, I have a new, 2nd blog that is for Star Wars related things, of course me being a terrible, cliche, 20 something year old, I have one I am writing about Kylo Ren. If you are interested, give me some love on that! Paranoid-poet12.tumblr.com thanks for the love!!!

❤/A

[anaomynous]

Kai Anderson P4

Kai’s POV

The past few weeks I spent a lot of time calling Kat, visiting her frequently, and taking her out places. In my unfeeling heart, I could feel something, having to keep my mind on the one thing I needed to get to: World Domination. People either are obstacles or stepping stones to that goal. I need to use them, or have them be part of my following. “Kai, will you come down stairs, please?” Winter called from the basement. “In a second!” I yelled from the bathroom, I looked at myself, actually caring if I looked indecent or not, trying to get political gain was truly an eye opener to how homeless I allowed myself to look, I also wanted Kat to see me as put together. I looked at myself in the mirror, my face shaved, my hair clean, wearing a dark, grey, cardigan. A black shirt under that, in tight fitting jeans. I was starting to look more like my old self, which channeling my inner pussy was part of the plan. I walked down into the basement, and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw everyone sitting in a circle like a fucking drug addicts intervention. I looked around trying to hide my blinding anger, of how they congregated behind my back. I smiled, then clapped my hands together “Okay, what the fuck is this?” I said with a laugh. Winter stood up “Kai, I like Kat. I have always liked Kat, but you are investing yourself too much into one person. All of our plans keep getting pushed back further, and further. All you do is talk to her, and want to be around her. Look at you, Kai. You’re changing, for 1 person. Aren’t you supposed to recruit as many people as possible to our movement? Not just her?” She said with concern. Meadow, stood up after her, and gave me a shy smile “We are all worried that you’re falling back in love with her, which is a distraction from what we are doing. Are we not all here, because of you? And what you want to achieve?” I started to laugh now. “Fucking, Meadow. You’re fine with having me fall in love with you, but if I find love elsewhere I’d be getting ‘distracted,’ ” I said, using air quotes as I mocked her whiny, pitiful, voice. I cleared my throat, before talking again. “Listen, I understand that you are concerned, you are my people, and I value your opinions, however, when it comes to this shit, you can fuck right off. How dare you all have the balls to talk about me, behind my back, about something I am doing. If you have a problem with me, you can tell me to my face. Now, since all 8 of you are showing me tremendous disrespect, I will trust that you will stay out of my way from here on out!” I scolded, all of them backing down quickly on their idea of helping me. “Kai, we are all here to follow you, but as people who follow you, you cant just expect us to follow blindly, if you’re making us worried.” Harrison nervously said, keeping himself seated on the couch “That’s exactly what I expect you all to do. You think this is a democracy? And “you the people,” can decide shit? No,“ I said, starting to laugh, trying to keep myself from murdering all of these mother fuckers. "We just care about getting you to your goal, you can chase pretty girls all day, but you are distracted, and we need to make sure you keep your mind where it needs to be,” Commented Winter, adding to what Harrison’s point was. I took a deep breath to keep myself composed. “Okay, maybe I misunderstood the intention with this bullshit meeting, but I will listen to you, I promise I am not leading you in a bad direction, but you have to trust in your leader. Now, don’t fucking talk about me behind my back again, or else there will be an outcome, that is much worse. I’ll murder every fucking one of you,” I said with a smile. Everyone grew incredibly tense at that statement. I started to laugh to try and ease it, to which everyone kind of joined in nervously, relaxing a bit more. “I’m leaving, and will be back later.” I said, starting up the stairs, before Winter scoffed “Really, you’re just going to go out with her when we just told you it’s distracted you?” I stopped and turned around to look at her. “That’s exactly what I am going to fucking do!” I could feel the vein in my forehead, popping out. My face turning completely hot, as I stormed out of the house. I cracked my neck, before going to meet Kat at the park for some late night conversations on the swings. I felt myself getting excited thinking about seeing her. Once I arrived, I picked a swing to sit on, feeling the cool, night, air hit my face, gripping the chains with my hands, and shifting my weight to give myself momentum. I hadn’t actually gotten in a swing in a long time, when did I start to take life so seriously? What was the point of being so serious? Life was too short. “What are you doing here?!” I heard her voice, cracking as she tried to make it sound deeper than it really was. She jumped on the swing beside me, falling off of it with a shierk. I laughed loudly, stopping myself with my feet, kicking wood chips everywhere. “Are you okay?!” I laughed, helping her up. She held out her elbow and pushed out her bottom lip into a pout, showing me a bloody, cut. She wiped off the dirt, and tiny wood chips off of the cut. “It stings,” She whined, holding it gently with her free hand. “Aww you poor thing! Now you know not to do dumb things, like try ro run and jumo into a swing, when you’re a clumsy Kat!” I teased, directing her to a near by water fountain. She held her elbow over the fountain and pushed down on the lever to the fountain, spraying a stream of water over her cut. “There, should feel better now!” I said with a wide smile. She smiled and chuckled at me, “You’re too good to me, Kai,” She said, before going on her tippy toes and kissing me on the cheek. My face burned, turning red. Am I… Blushing? Here, I just genuinely threatened to murder my entire group of followers and here I was fucking BLUSHING. I got embarrassed and turned around immediately, I was afraid of being vulnerable around her, when I was vulnerable around her once. I was happy once, with her. I knew she would never hurt me… I couldn’t be afraid. Wait… Wait wait wait. Wait. Why… Do I care? This is supposed to be me, wanting her devotion to my cause, I knew how devoted she could be to me, I could use it to my ultimate advantage, but… I loved spending time with her again, she made feel like myself, she brought out all the good that was left in my soul, she was… Absolute happiness. Why was I so conflicted? Maybe everyone was right, I was letting this get to my head and spending too much time letting her consume my world, but… I liked it. I cared about another when I was with her… Fuck, get a hold of yourself, Kai. She’s just another woman. Just another hole to fuck if I wanted. Another mind to corrupt, another follow to manipulate and bend to my will. She would be so perfect… What if I could have both her… And her devotion, and allow myself to care for her, to love her, to fuck her, and manipulate her? I could have her by my side, commiting crimes, and atrocities. I could do it… “Kai,” She spoke, breaking me from my deeo thoughts. She gently hand touching my shoulder. I turned around to look at her and smiled, she looked at my cheek, and giggled “I got lipstick on your cheek, I’m sorry!” She exclaimed, going to wipe it off. I grabbed her chin and she looked at me in confusion. I put my thumb to her lips, gently smearing her lipstick off her lips slightly. “I’d rather have it on my lips than my cheek,” I spoke bravely, watching her melt before me. I pulled her closer to me, and smashed my lips into hers, passionately. Her body trembling, and knees buckling in my arms, I used my strength to keep her standing up. It was just like it had been, the same passion, same steamy, sexual, tension within each movement of each other’s lips, rhythmatically moving together. Nothing had changed, but my feelings felt intense, a fire in my heart that she was igniting. I was okay with the idea of allowing her entrance into my circle, into what was left of my feelings. This wasn’t about manipulation anymore, this was allowing the most genuinely, kind, woman to love me without fear.

Winter’s POV.

After Kai had went off to the part to do whatever the fuck he does, I was frustrated. Really hoping he would listen to reason with this. “Good job guys, really,” I said making my sarcasm very appartent. I slumped down into the couch, everyone going silent for a moment, all of us thinking of how we were going to get Kai’s head back into the notion of world domination. Meadow sighed deeply “Well, I have an idea, I mean… It may be extreme, but it may work!” She exclaimed with a smirk. I nodded in her direction motioning her to speak. Meadow smiled excitedly, preparing to explain. “She is really beautiful, why not get under our shallow, leader’s , skin and take that beauty away?” She said, excitement in her voice. “Uuuum, I don’t follow,” Commented Harrison shaking his head. “Oh my gosh you guys are slow. I have a friend who can get acid, we drive by, throw it on her face while she’s out walking, and boom. Goodbye, pretty face. Goodbye distraction.” Said Meadow with a confident smile. I nodded slowly “That is such a perfect idea, this could work and we can get him back. We have to take it a step further though, so she has no reason to stay here,” I said, picking up the picture that Kai had left on the table of her. “You mean like… Kill her family?” Asked Ivy in disbelief, having been quiet this entire time. “That’s exactly what I mean,” I said looking over to her, “I mean, it sucks they’re innocent people, but we gotta make sacrifices,” I said, coldly. Shrugging my shoulders, while shaking my head. “I think killing her family is taking it too far, so is disfiguring her. What do you think Kai will do when he finds out?” Ivy stammering, getting visibly stressed out by the thought. “He’ll know it’s us that did it,” “He’ll thank us, for helping him come to his senses,” Said Harrison rolling his eyes at Ivy “You always get so worked up,” I nodded towards Harrison “He’ll thank us for helping get his impulses under control, then she’ll leave and never want to come back, dead brother and parents. No reason to stay, and her face will be horrible. Maybe she’ll kill herself,” Commented Meadow, will snickering to herself. She was clearly, incredibly, jealous of Kat. Which fueled this idea of fucking up her face. Maybe Kai would see this act of passion as our devotion to him, but it could also turn very ugly, very quickly. We had to execute this plan perfectly.

[gingepeters-deactivated20180313]

[anaomynous]

Kai Anderson P3

Kai’s POV

That next day, I was already making plans to see Kat again, part of my way of having her be part of my cause. People are only in your way, or they’re a stair to where you need to be. This would determine if she was an obstacle or an addition. Part of that would mean manipulating her into thinking I still care and want our relationship to continue. Which, no matter how mad she would try to act, I knew the truth, she wanted me badly. So, I will give myself to her, try to bring out the weak personality I had before I realized what I needed to do to get further in the game. Such an unfortunate thing, Kat really was a kind, gentle, good hearted person, and I was going to twist her around my fist, and fuck her into my submission. I got hard at the thought of it, truly poisoning the heart of a good girl and turning her evil. That right there should show the type of person I am now. Was I… Feeling disgusted with myself right now? No. I do not care about her, and I needed to prove that to Winter. “Hey Kai,” I heard at my bedroom doorway. I looked up to see Meadow standing there, Meadow was a woman I had manipulated as well, but the difference here is I cannot fucking stand her, where as Kat’s company is nice. Even when she is crying and screaming at me, Meadow’s pathetic, face, and annoying voice made my stomach hurt. When I kissed her, it took everything within me to not vomit. “Hi, Meadow,” I said calmly. I had been looking through pictures of us that I still had, trying to channel my inner, pussy self back out to make her fall right back in love with me. Though it would not be hard, she would always be devoted to me no matter what the circumstance, I was convinced. “Oooh looking at pictures, what’s this?” She said, rudely grabbing it out of my hand. I balled my hand into a fist, wanting to fit her in the fucking jaw, gritting my teeth against the urge to do so. “Wait… That’s you? You look so different without your hair being long ans blue. This girl, she… She was here earlier? Who is she?” She asked, I could feel her secret jealousy, which bothered me badly, so I was going to be honest. “She was girlfriend, we were together for a long time,” I spoke honestly, going to give her the full details, I wanted her to be jealous, I wanted her to hurt and be confused. To feel intimidated by Kat, because she should be. “She’s beautiful, how long is a long time?” “I will put it this way, she was my first and only girlfriend I have ever had,” I said watching her expressions change more and more “So… Like, how long was that?” “We were together since I was 15 and just broke up over a year ago. That long.” She shook her head, “Holy shit, and here I was thinking you were probably sleeping with everyone. What was she doing here?” “I invited her, she’s visiting from college. I have a lot of history with her, her presence is a reminder of my humanity. She was the first girl I ever kissed, fingered, ate out, fucked, tried anal with, how I discovered what I like, that I did all my experiments with, not to mention she’s the most beautiful person inside and out.” Meadow kind of shook her head, swallowing the lump in her throat, upon realizing what little significance she had to me. “Even prettier than me?” “Well, what did I just say? How do you want me to answer that question?” “Do you think she’s prettier than me? You told me you thought I was the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, Kai,” She said with a pitiful chuckle. “Yes, I think she’s prettier than you, than anyone,” Meadow nodded sadly and handed me the picture again. “I don’t think she’s all that cute, she’s fat, she cries too much, she is too sensitive, with me I’m thin, and can murder someone without feeling a thing,” I shook my head at her “How petty. Unfortunately, you have proven how much weaker you are, by succumbing to jealousy. She’s not fat by the way, she has big tits and a big ass, so sorry that you feel so inadequate to that. Get away from me,” I said shooing her. Putting the picture away. She hesitated for a moment, nervously putting hair behind her ear “Kai, I-” “I said out!” I yelled, causing her to jump, before stammering out of the room. I popped my neck in frustration, before turning to my wall and hitting it, pretending it was Meadow’s pathetic looking face. My fist put a hole through it, my hand immediately throbbing and swelling. I snapped out of it, realizing the stupid, impulsive thing I had just done. I couldn’t be the perfect, pretend, façade, gentleman if I was going to punch walls and break my fucking hand like a dumb ass. I thought to myself, was it Meadow annoying me that caused me to do this? Or was it Meadow talking shit on Kat? I shook my head, holding my wrist in my hand, looking it over, to see that ir had began to bruise. I got up from my bed, and walked down the stairs. My hand felt limp attached to my wrist, like it wad dangling. This was my chance to reconnect with her, it hit me. I went down stairs to my house phone, calling her cell phone number I still had memorized. She answered almost immediately, confusion in her tone. “Hey, it’s me, I got hurt really bad and I think my hand is broken. Could you take me to the hospital?” I said, trying to exaggerate the panic I was feeling. “Oh my god! Yes, I will be there in less than 5 minutes,” I smirked “Okay, I know we aren’t on good terms right now, but I have no one else,” I said looking behind me to see Meadow standing there. I continued to make eye contact with her as I spoke, before getting off the phone with Kat. “Kai, you broke your hand? Why didn’t you tell me, I can call her and tell her not to come, I will take you,” She said, picking up the phone and dialing *67. I immediately frustrated, and yanked it out of her hand, throwing it down on the receiver, huffing and trying not to hit her “Meadow, don’t make me break my other hand on your fucking face!” I yelled, spit flying out of my mouth in anger. She cowered before me, as I stared her down. “Get the fuck away from me,” I said, letting her run back down the stairs. This time, I did my best to calm down, before hitting another wall, and soon enough, her headlights flooded my windows. I ran out the door to meet her, she getting out of her car to open the door for me. I got inside, and shut the door behind me. I snapped my seatbelt into place, before realizing whose car I was in. As she sat down, buckled herself in, and started to drive. I examined her for a moment, makeup-less, messy hair, and in pajamas she was still so, incredibly, beautiful. I turned my focus from her to ask about the car “Is this your dad’s same station wagon?” She chuckled, “Yeah, I kinda, sorta, just took it without asking. My car is back at my college,” I laughed “I didn’t take you for a station wagon type of girl,” She laughed my answer and continued to drive until we got to the ER. Once we got in, and the doctor saw us. He looked at my hand and shook his head “Son, how hard have you been punching walls? This is a tremendous fracture. You had to have hit it very, very, hard. I don’t even need the Xray to tell, but I am still going to have them do it anyways, so we can see what needs to be done to heal it.” I looked over at Kat, her disappointed expression bothering me. If only she knew I was upset that someone said something impolite about her physique. “Kai, why would you hit the wall?” I shrugged “Didn’t think about it before I did it, had I been thinking collectively, instead of upon impluse, I wouldn’t have punched it,” She folded her arms and rolled her eyes. “It isn’t my place to tell you what you can, and cannot do, but don’t do stuff like that, your poor hand.” She said with concern, gently caressing my skin near my hand with her finger tips. She looked up at me and sighed deeply “Oh, Kai.” She said before letting my hand go. Goosebumps arouse all over my skin, in response to her warm skin. She was always warm. Just like her heart.

After a few hours there, and Kat refusing to leave my side, good news being I didn’t need surgery and that my knuckles would heal themselves. They put my hand into a cast, and we walked back out to the car. The sun was startng to rise, birds singing, and the blue hue, of the sun creeping up from the horizon spreading across the sky, we got to her car and as we both got in, Kat looked at me sweetly. “Let’s go get breakfast now, I’ll buy,” “Oh, Kat you’re probably so tired. You probably should take me home so you can sleep,” “Kai! Are you hungry?” “Yes,” “Then let me buy you breakfast!” She exclaimed, widening her eyes at me eagerly. “Well, I couldn’t pass up a free meal,” She was so excited, taking me to where I frequented, because one of the owns; Ivy, was helping with my cause. The Butchery, they weren’t too bad as well foodwise. We got seated at a table, Ivy giving me a confused look, seeing who I was with, but dismissing it and going on to act as if we’d never met. “So, why did you punch that wall?” She asked me with curiosity. I debated in my head, if I should really tell her why or if I should lie… “Well, if I am being honest with you here…” I didn’t know why it was making me nervous, thinking about if I should lie or not. “A friend of mine, saw a picture of us, and she made a rude comment. Plus she’s pretty fucking irritating, so the wall was an alternative to her face,” I said with a shrug, before sipping on my coffee. “What did she say about me?” She asked me with a confused expression. “She tried to say that you were fat, and tried to make herself seem more attractive than you, it just didn’t sit well with me.” She focused on my face, her cheeks turning a little red in offense. “Why… Why would she say that horrible stuff? I don’t even know her?” This was the perfect example of the genuinely good person she was… “You didn’t do anything, some people are jealous of each other. Not everyone has a good heart like you do,” I told her, not even trying to flatter or charm her, but being totally honest. “You… You think I have a good heart?” She asked with a chuckle, her modesty so charismatic. “I do, I always have. And you’re not fat at all, it’s a ridiculous notion that you would be fat, or unattractive. You’re beautiful,” I said with a smile, saying these things and meaning it, not trying to get something out of it, felt so awkward and alien coming out of my mouth. She laughed nervously, truly gushing and being bashful. How cute she was. She looked at me through her full eyelashes, and smiled sweetly. I smiled back her…. Really enjoying her company, feeling… Again. I did not know if I knew how to feel anymore.

[anaomynous]

Kai Anderson P2

The clock struck 7:50, as I approached Kai’s house, not being far from my parents house. As I approached the front door, I noticed the house looking more worn down than it used to, the weeds in the grass growing dominantly in the yard. I walked up to his door, giving 3 loud knocks. Kai, walked to the door, opening it for me before smiling. “You’re always early,” He allowed me entrance into his house, it was quiet and had a very ominous vibe to it, a lot darker it seemed… Especially where his mom had always been a home maker, and his loud, drunk, step dad wasn’t screaming about something. “Where are your parents?” I asked curiously, as we made our way into the basement “They’re here,” He said a reassuring smile, I thought nothing of it, they probably have been getting better, which would be great, seeing as Kai was miserable a lot of the time he was at home. We walked up to his table, and he pulled a chair out for me to sit, as he sat directly in front of me. He stared at me for quite a while, before resting his elbow on the table, and he held out his pinky. I gave him a confused look “What?” I asked, wanting to know what exactly was going on. “Kat, once you make physical contact with me, you are to answer my questions openly, and honestly as I will allow you to do the same thing with me, agreed?” He asked me, not blinking as he spoke. I shrugged my shoulders, maybe now I could get an answer on why Kai did what he did. I wrapped my pinky around his, and he smiled. “That’s my girl. Now tell me, Kat. What is it that scares you the most? What feels your heart with dread?” I sat for a moment looking away from him, before looking back at him. “Honestly, losing you. Now that is a reality, and my worst fear has been realized, I would say that it’s now living in a world without you being part of my life, I feel my worst fear everyday.” I said shaking my head, as I looked into his unfeeling eyes. He was being so weird, so emotionless compared to the Kai I knew. “I had to do what I did, because I didn’t want to bring you down with me, as I first went down the path I did. I also, wanted to show you how our fears strengthen us. You’re stronger now, having lost me, aren’t you?” I chuckled “So I was a human experiment for you?” I asked, laughing sarcastically. “That didn’t answer my question, Kat, and I told you, you ask me after,” He said disregarding my comments. I sighed deeply “No, Kai. I’m a husk of who I once was, existing is painful, breathing is painful, I hate the entire world, and nothing is colorful anymore,” “There it is! You did get stronger, building a wall around you, to toughen yourself. Now, if I disappeared again, you wouldn’t hurt nearly as bad, because you know what to expect.” I thought about what he was saying, understanding his point. “Did you fuck anyone else? Or date anyone else?” He said, a hint of jealousy in his voice. I chuckled “No, people repulse me. I don’t want anything to do with it. You’re still the only one I ever have been with. I haven’t even kissed anyone else.” “So, even though I disappeared, you stay 100% devoted to me, did you not?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I would say heart break left a scar on me, but I guess if you want to put it that way I stayed devoted to you the whole time. Which you probably didn’t do with me, huh?” He chuckled “Well, Kat, that must be another fear of yours. That I left you for some slutty, hotter, thinner girl, with perky tits. Who likes to suck dick and will let me fuck her in the ass? Isn’t it?” I didn’t answer for a moment, almost repulsed with when he get said to me, was being so weird. and he tugged my finger lightly to help get my attention. “You’re not acting like Kai,” I commented, my face getting red. “Answer the question, Kat,” He said, jumping over my comments. “Yes, Kai. I’ve been terrified of that. And if you found your little slut, and put your dick inside a bunch of girls, then it is what it is.” I commented, feeling the bitterness of those words leaving my lips like a penny in my mouth. “Well, I think this worked out well, you learned to relish in your fears, when they became reality, letting the bitterness consume you, until you were reunited with me, showing you are devoted to me, even if I break your heart. I would say you have proved yourself worthy.” “Why would I need to prove myself to you, Kai? Hadn’t you know and trusted me enough to know I wasn’t fucking going anywhere instead of torturing me mentally? You’re not even the same warm, person. You’re… cold, and unfeeling. What did I do to deserve it?” He shrugged his shoulders “Nothing, you’ve always been good to me, Kat, I just needed to see if you would stay with me no matter what, and to show you what strength you build during living your worst fears, then how you come back, like a fly to the light, to me, and you have. Here you are. That is what you want right? Me?” I chuckled “I don’t know anymore, Kai. You’re not even you! I don’t know who Kai is right now. Why are you acting so fucking weird!” I exclaimed, trying to fight back tears. He chuckled “I realized the fucked up world we live in, the shit and filth that surrounds us everywhere. I realized that creating fear, creates the ultimate power, with that power I want world domination. You can be part of that, part of me, you always have been anyways, I always have had a soft spot for you, yes it got hard, but I knew I had to do what I did.” That’s when he pulled out a huge stack of letters, from his inside jacket, pocket. “Look, I still have them. Every letter you ever sent,” My heart grew warm to see this, each one carefully opened and read. “Made it so hard to try and not respond sometimes, but I had to do it. You must understand why,” “Yeah, because I’m some fucked up experiment to you, I don’t matter to you at all, and thank you for giving me closure, I’m going to go now,” I said as I stood up, my heart beating hard against my chest. Who the fuck was this? This wasn’t Kai, my Kai Kai who wanted to watch movies and cuddle all night. This wasn’t Kai who loved me, or wanted to keep me safe, this was… Something else. Something happened to him… And maybe I was better off never fucking knowing what happened. That’s when Kai grabbed my hand, “Don’t go… I suppose I haven’t been sensitive to your feelings. You are more than just a social experiment. I want you now more than ever, knowing you would commit to me no matter what, and even you if you don’t want to believe it I stayed true to you as well,” Tears fell from my eyes. “We were going to get married, and run away together.” That’s when Kai’s face softened, seeming to listen to what I was saying to show him my point of view “We had it all planned out, fuck, had I known I would have been a lab rat, I would have stayed here. We could have been happy, always and none of this would have happened. You encouraged me to go, I wish I’d stayed,” “I wish… You’d stayed too,” He spoke, taking me off guard. I looked at him. “If you loved me, and wish I would have stayed, you would written to me, answered my phone calls, told me why you left, you can’t even begin to imagine what I have been through!” I said, my voice cracking, as I tried to not scream out the pain I had felt, 463 days of hell “I wanted to kill myself, I almost did, so many times,” I said, looking into his dark, cold, eyes. “Even now, RIGHT now, as you try and convince me that you care, you are looking right fucking through me, because you don’t care. I don’t know what game you are playing right now, or why you would do this, but god damn it, look at me!” I scolded. He gave me a confused look “I am loo-” “No! You aren’t! LOOK at me. Look at what you did to me!” I grabbed his face with both my hands and in that moment, I saw him. Saw that familiar, doe eyed expression. He stared at me for quite some time, examing my eyes, looking past whatever weird, controlling, thing he had going on, before finally speaking. “You’re right,” He whispered, my hands slowly dropped from his cheeks. “You changed too… That sweet, innocence, you carried within you so naturally, is… Not there. I wanted you to be stronger, but it looks like I poisoned you.” He said, his defenses dropping more. “Tell me, what this is about, Kai. Or I’m done. You gave me closure, now I can finally do what I have wanted to do for so long, and I will.” He held out his pinky again, “Not this shit, tell me without the pinky,” I said getting irritated. He sighed deeply “What do you want me to say? You are the only person on this god forsaken, shit show who brings warmness to my heart. The only person who could keep me from going too far over the edge. The only person who I care lives or dies. When you left, I forgot that. Now, it’s too late to turn back. I’ve been reborn, and now, there will be a revelation. I will take over this world, and the way to do that, is through fear and devotion.” I just stared at him as he spoke, sounding so alien from himself. “I will never hurt you, but I want you beside me. No matter what, you know my vulnerable side, you are my weakness. It most situations that would make me want to destroy you, but it only makes me want to have you around me. In order to do this, I need your hand in this. We could be together again, you want me, that’s what you want, I can give that to you, all I ask is that you help me,” he said while reaching across the table, and touching my face. “You sound crazy, Kai, like Charles Manson,” I stammered, every instinct in me, screaming at me to run far away, but my heart wanting me to stay put. He chuckled a bit. “You want to know everything, I guess I could tell you everything. Last year… My parents both died. My mom shot my step dad and then shot herself. Right in front of me. I held her while she took her last breath. Gurgling blood on me, her brains smearing all over my pants from the back of her head, and into my hands. I called my brother, he came from his office, and told me not to tell anyone about it. It ate at me… That’s when I stopped writing, or calling… Something about that night did something to me, Kat. The world is an ugly, filthy, piece of shit. I want to watch it burn,” I didn’t say a word, as I watched him grow increasinly familiar, from a complete, sociopathic, freak. To Kai. In seconds. He was still in there, and I wanted to save him. He began to break down in front of me, tears falling from his eyes. He burried his face in his hands, sobbing hysterically. I got up from the chair and walked behind him, wanting to console him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him there, resting my check on his head, he grabbed onto my arms tightly, keeping them around him. “Kai… I’m… So sorry, I wish I wouldn’t have left. I could have been here for you, helped you, this was my fault…” I said, caressing his head. He began to calm down after, sobs turning into silence as suddenly as they had began. We both stood there for a long time, before he broke the silence. “I need you, Kat. To keep me grounded, if I am to succeed, I need you.” He said, putting a warm hand on my cheek. I grabbed his hand back, and nodded slowly “I want to help you come back to where you were… Where WE were before I left. All I ever wanted, was you,” I said with a single tear falling from my face. He wiped it away with his thumb, before he pulled me into a deep kiss. My lips moving with his, all of the hurt, and pain being kissed out of me, and the world seemed to feel right again…

Kai’s POV

*Earlier that day* “Kai, was that Kat on the answering machine?” Asked my sister, as I stared at it. Contemplating if I should call it back. I nodded slowly without verbally answering her. “You care about her, don’t you?” She said with her condescending smile, always trying to find a flaw or weakness within me. “Everyone is either an obstacle or a stepping stone.” I answered, pressing play once more on the machine. “That’s very indirect to what I asked, you do care about her. You don’t care about me, your sister, but you care about her?” “Winter, have I ever told you that I find you to be, very intrusive and irritating as shit.” I said with a sneer. She laughed sarcastically and rolled her eyes. “I like Kat,” She said, keeping her eyes on me. “I always liked Kat,” “I know,” I spoke coldly. “Really? It’s okay to care about someone you were with since you were 15. Wasn’t she the first girl you fucked? Or your first girlfriend ever? God damn, she’s the only girl you’ve ever been with,” “Winter, will you shut the fuck up?” I said, getting really annoyed with how stupidly persistant she was being. “Kai, if you want this to work out, she needs to either be destroyed so she doesn’t distract you, from what we are trying to do, or she needs to be apart of it, so she can help you. You can’t let yourself be weak, or controlled by this girl. Even if you want to admit it or not, you fucking care about her, and probably even are still in love with her.” She was right. She was a vulnerability, a weakness, an opportunity for someone to hurt me. I needed to evaluate, see if she can be manipulated in some way… Into joining me. Or, I may need to take care of the inconvenience that she was. I got up from where I was sitting, and got dressed appropriately for the cold, Autumn air. Winter smirked at me and crossed her arms. “You’re making the right decision, Kai. We can’t let anything get in the way,”

[anaomynous]

Kai Anderson P1

I looked outside the window of my dad’s station wagon, watching the familiar city of my teenage years, and childhood approach. I was silent, breathing on the window and drawing a heart onto it with my finger. My dad sighed deeply “You haven’t spoken since we left the airport, love bug! Aren’t you excited to be home for nearly 2 months? A nice get away from college?” I looked over at my dad and smiled “Of course, dad. I’m just, tired.” I lied, my dad obviously knew what wad on my mind: Kai. It had been 462 days since he last spoke to me. We were together since 8th grade, he was my first boyfriend, and he was supposed to be my last. My heart was still broken, I didn’t want to even hear his name. We had a life planned together, a future, dreams. I watched them burn up in front of my face, dashing and dividing like meteors in the Earth’s atmosphere that I wished on, over and over again. Hoping I could have him again, maybe hear the reason why he left me like this. I was supposed to have came back home many times… But avoided it, because I didn’t want to remember that it was supposed to be spent with him. We finally got to my parents home, they had recently remodeled it, it looked so different. Hard to believe this was the same house. I looked over to see my brother and my mom. My brother having grown at least 6 inches since I last saw him, towering over my mom. He was dressed up, with a leather jacket sporting traditional goth bands, and punk bands all over. His hair in a green Mohawk, and a pair of Doc Marten boots strapped on his legs. He looked just like me, I could see I taught him well. He smiled at me and waved, as my mom opened the door for me. Embracing me into a long hug, before letting me go, her familiar smell of cinnamon soothing me. My brother came up after and hugged me tightly, “Wow, Kat, you’re so short!” He exclaimed, a man’s voice coming from his throat. I chuckled into his hug, then pulled away when my dad began to struggle with the luggage I had. “Dad!” I yelled, running to him “Stop, you’ll throw your back out again!” I scolded, grabbing my bags from his hand. “Kat, c'mon, you’re supposed to be on a break from college! You shouldn’t carry your own bags.” “Knock it off, I can carry my own bags,” I said begining to carry them up into the house. “Stop it!” My mom said, grabbing my bags from my hands as my dad and mom dragged them to my old bed room.

As the night carried on, I laid on my bed, my mom hadn’t changed a thing. My eyes looked over to my desk that Kai had carved “ K + K ,” with a heart around it and felt a lump in my throat. I grabbed my phone, “Why am I doing this, nothing good will come from this,” I said before dialing his number, to my disappointment, which I didn’t understand why I would be surprised it went to voicemail. “Hey, Kai. It’s me, Kat. I’m in town for a while. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but I would love to see you. Um… I’ll be at my mom and dads.” I hung up the phone, and felt that familiar sting, like someone had stabbed me right in the chest. God damn it, Kai. Why the fuck would you do this to me? You were supposed to my forever. I began to sob into my pillow, that same sense of loneliness, overtaking me. Filling me with dread, heartache, and panic. Everything was bad, my grades, my eating and drinking habits. The thought that Kai may have met another girl, haunted me, I could not get the thought out of my mind. I hugged my pillow, dying to see him again. How could I allow myself to be this fucking miserable… I hardly recognized myself anymore. I was never the type to beg to die at night, and felt horrendous disappointment when I opened my eyes to feel absolute anguish. I would survive the day, by drinking myself stupid between classes, then pass out. Over and over again, my life was hell. With nothing, but a feeling of contempt for the people who were happy, or in love around me. I hated this world, but I was too much of a fucking coward to take myself out. Long I stared, at the bottles of bills, razor blades, cords, ropes. Even going so far as to walk to the top of the university, drunk off my ass, a vodka bottle in hand, looking down at the ground, letting my foot hang over the railing. It could be so easy… I could be free. But I was a coward… I grabbed my pillow and screamed as loud as I could into it, this pain… it was so intense and I couldn’t stand it. Why couldn’t he have stayed… Why did this happen to me? All I did was love, Kai.

The next day, my eyes shot open. I didn’t remember falling asleep, I rubbed my eyes, feeling that same emptiness that wouldn’t go away. “Day 463,” I spoke outloud, checking my phone to see no new notifications. I was still wearing the same clothes from last night, my boots still laced, my face itchy from my makeup being left on. I stood up, and walked down the stairs, the aroma of pancakes filling my nose. I walked into the kitchen, it recently having been remodled. The cabnits and floors, a stained hardwood. The stove a beautiful range top, and a high tech fridge. I sat at the table and rubbed my eyes. My mom, looked back at me with a smile. Her hair still messy from last night’s sleep, her tiny body drowning in a pink robe. “Goodmorning my gorgeous daughter! So lovely to see your face in my kitchen again.” I smiled at her softly, my mom was my best friend at one point. I am sure my distant behavior bothered her, but she was never one to pry. She walked over to me her slippers slapping on the floor, a plate in hand with 3 fluffy pancakes stacked on each other. She handed me a bottle of blueberry syrup and smiled. “I always remember your favorite, honey,” She said, grabbing a coffee mug. She sat down in front of me, taking a long sip of her fresh coffee, followed by a soft “Mmmm,” as she pushed up her shoulders. “So good on a cold day, makes you feel nice and cozy.” I nodded as I poured syrup over my pancakes, politely eating it. “You know, Kat. You can talk to me about anything?” I stopped what I was doing and stared at her, knowing what she was about to bring up. “Mom, don’t,” I pleaded “I’m just saying, I am here for you. We used to so close. I just… Miss you. I am here if you ever want to talk to me is all,” She said with a genuine smile, before reaching out and holding my hand for a brief moment. The kind gesture warmed my heart, reminding me that my mom did really care about me.

After breakfast, I decided to go explore the town I hadn’t seen in 2.5 years. Exploring the downtown shops, visiting places I hadn’t seen and familiar places I used to see. I arrived at an old book store, I used to go to after school. It looked exactly the same as it had before. I pulled open the heavy door, a chime echoing through the big store. “Kat!” I heard a familiar voice exclaim. I looked over to see Mrs. Wells, the book store owner. Her hair showing streaks of grey, tightly placed in a bun. Her half moon glasses, kept around her neck with a silver chain. She still looked eccentric, wearing her witchy dress that was a deep, purple, velvet. She pulled me into a hug, with that same smile. “Oh my favorite customer ! How is college?” “It’s fine,” I lied with a chuckle. “Well good! How long are you here for?” “Until New Years,” “Oh my goodness that’s while! I am so excited to see you here!” She said with a laugh. She walked over to the counter and smiled “Go ahead, pick a book ! I’ll be here if you need me.” She put her attention to her own book, letting me walk away. I walked up to see my favorite book: “Bram Stoker’s Dracula,” I pulled it out and smiled. This was definitely the book I used to read. A sense of nostalgia rushed over me, making me feel at peace for just a moment. I opened the book, to see my old signature, when horror struck me. I dropped the book like a hot plate, when I saw Kai’s name in the book, checked out not even a week ago. My heart pounded in my chest, my hands shaking. “Kat, are you okay?” Asked Mrs. Wells, looking at me from her desk in concern. “Yes, I’m fine sorry, I’m… Tired,” I lied with a fake laugh. I picked up the book and put it back, before rushing out of the store. “Bye nice to see you, I’ll be back,” I said before walking out “Okay, bye?” She said in confusion. I walked over to the alley way, right next to the building. I held myself against the wall, before starting to cry. I just wanted to forget him. Why couldn’t I? I slid down the wall to my knees, crying silently by myself. “Excuse me miss, you dropped something,” I heard a voice behind me. Fuck, how embarrassing. I stood up, rushing to frantically dry my tears. “Thank you, I’m sorry,” I apologized, as I turned around. “I’m a real….” I stopped what I was saying, as I stared up at the person who had came to give me back whatever it was I had dropped. Sporting long, blue hair. Different from his nicely kept, brown hair. He kept it somewhat longer than most men, however this was much different. His dark brown, sunken eyes staring down at me, his body now built and muscular. I held my breath as the world around me seemed to stop. “Kai?” I asked in no more than a whisper, a single tear falling down my face. He reached out his hand, and touched my cheek with his thumb, clearing the tear from my face. I stood there emotionless, not knowing what to say, as he acted as if this was entirely normal, or like I would be overthrown with happiness at the sight of him, his exoression smug, and smirking. I felt light headed, having to remind myself to breath. “Here,” He said putting a locket in my hand. I looked up at him, not knowing what it could be inside. I opened it, to see my most favorite picture of him. Immediately taking me back to the moment. The happiness, the hope, the feelings. I clentched my hand around it, and a flood of a million emotions ran through my mind. “Why?” I asked, choking on my tears, trying to speak. “To remind you that I still love you,” He spoke coldly. I scoffed, angry that he would lie like that. “That’s not true, at all. You wouldn’t have disappeared if you did.” I spoke, trying to keep composed. I kept my fingers on the cool silver of the necklace. “Listen, Kat. I want to explain more to you, explain why I did what I did, and perhaps even get your forgiveness, but I want you to come over to my house, so we can talk, could you do that?” I stayed quiet for a while, thinking about if I should walk away, even though I wanted nothing more than to embrace him, kiss him, hold him. Anything. Noticing my hesitation, he knelt down and put one hand on my cheek, and brought his lips to my ear. “However far away, I will always love you,” He whispered, before kissing my cheek. My whole body shook at his touch, after being so alone and aching for him. He pulled away from me, and looked down at me with a smile. “Will you be there?” I slowly nodded, and dried my eyes. Holding tightly onto the locket. “Very good, see you at 8:00,”