Terrible Screenplay Ideas and Other Nonsense

An amateur scriptwriter in Wales, obsessed with niche art, odd movies, and supporting the little guy. I write the TRASHIEST stuff you will ever read. Also fair warning: this may turn into a Mikako Ichikawa appreciation blog at any time. PRONOUNS: What you will. Who fucking cares? If you must ask: "Firepower" by Judas Priest, and "Action" by Sweet. Also: I have a blog I've run for years, if you wish to see my reviews. http://anarchicmiscellany.blogspot.com/

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"Dead Island 2" has no right being as fun as it is, with the hellish development it had. Also, weirdly, of all games it's this one with the most diverse choice of fun protagonists I've seen: Amy the Asian-American Paralympic force of nature; Jacob the black Cockney stuntman who loves his mum; Dani the queer Irish rollerderby agent of chaos; Jacob the Latino con artist with a heart of gold; Carla the buff Mexican motorcross adrenaline junkie; and even token burly white dude Ryan is a himbo stripper out of his depth. Top tier character work there guys, honestly good job. It's fun.

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Difficult to think, off the top of my head, of a horror film as simultaneously awesome and fucked over as "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre": This incredibly ominous, horrifying, grinding, dread-inducing film all about meat, and build up and suspense and the horrors of discovering the American Ideal becoming a mystery left to rot and turn primal in the abandoned hollows of the nation in the 70s; with a harrowing score and iconic performances, scenes and cinematography... Then we get God-knows how many movies going "let's talk about the lore! Who are these cannibal folks? Man they're scary! Ain't that fucked up!" ("Texas Chain Saw Massacre" fucking rules, still)

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You could be listening to Shonen Knife right now

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Rejoice! Pushkin Publishing have returned to the matching art of their previous books for the Seishi Yokomizo novels! Finally I can resume collecting, as my shelf will match

[slimegirlwarlock]

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Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I reported your account when I meant to report someone else. It was a mistake, and I hope it didn’t cause any problems. If you want to see the ticket Tumblr sent me, let me know I can’t message you directly for some reason.

Holy hell I got one! Fuck yeah! I'm honoured!

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The Boss Fight Books entry on "Soft and Cuddly" is fantastic. It's funny ("Clive Sinclair was like an inverse Steve Jobs in that everything he touched turned to shit") and well researched (always lovely seeing British culture through a foreign lense, especially when he manages to get so much of it right), whilst also being an ode to making post-modern art, punk art, and explaining the difference between art and schlock elegantly and succinctly: "Schlock is schlock because there is no mystery to the thing. The heart of Soft and Cuddly is mystery. What is this? Who did this? What is happening? What the fuck is going on?" I also am any sucker for somebody taking the time to despise Jeffrey Archer, good job! And I'm sorry that you had to gaze into that void long enough to learn about Jeffrey fucking Archer. I just want to leave it on this from the last chapter, a fun and poignant encapsulation of the art I enjoy: "Most games are forgotten. There's always some discussion of Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards, but decades pass without one word on Harley Davidson: The Road to Sturgis or Quadralien or Joan of Arc: Siege and the Sword. That's the nature of the beast, the creeping shuffle of an industry dedicated to the thrill of the new. There's always another console and one more installment of Assassin's Creed. The world spins on and everyone forgets everything unless some nagging memory pulls them back. And then there's John George Jones. A creator whose games, having no impact when they were released, now inspire no thoughts of historical significance or nostalgia. A creator whose titles were doomed to be forgotten. Flotsam destined to never become jetsam. And yet here you are. Reading this book."

Good work, Jarret Kobek.

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Only knowing Mike Flanagan for his fucking excellent horror films and being a big fan of his work, and finding out that there's an entire group of rabid nutballs calling for his death over perceived slights in a well-regarded television series I've never seen but heard good things about (I don't have Netflix) is akin to poking my head into a thread about Brie Larson in a comments section of a forum. Just let them writhe, self-care is best practiced by logging off the internet for a while. I love being offline. You do you, Mike, keep making good stuff

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Shoutout to the boyfriend, Bret, in "Lights Out": supportive, asking sensible questions, and getting the best part of the movie with the car.

[mellodyevangeline]

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Sam Neill was a fantastic actor, a steady pair of hands in any project. I love "In the Mouth of Madness", but you'd do well to check out "Hunt for the Wilderpeople".

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It's important to note that Nigel Farage has already lost this. His goal at the beginning of the year was to market his assortment of scumbags, grifters, liars, weirdos, plagiarists, racists, wankers, losers (and in the case of MattGPT Goodwin: all of the above) and fuckholes into a "sensible future government", his biggest member other than him being "Consistently Wrong and Terrified of Children's Drawings" rat from a sinking ship Robert Jenrick. It was going to be an uphill battle. His second goal was to buy legitimacy with the public by stating that "the elites were out to get him, and he'd have the people on his side" by winning a by-election he called himself after an investigation into bribery was launched. Everybody, even shit-for-brains and back-up-against-the-wall Kemi Badenoch (having lost her "best" operative to a defection to Reform... that husk of a person being Robert Jenrick... she was also going to have an uphill battle) has seen this for what it was and stepped aside. Farage is claiming "harassment" of his family is causing him to throw this pissy fit. The "harassment" in question is a single journalist turning up at his 3rd property at lunchtime, knocking on the door, and leaving when nobody answers. When utterly debauched waste of life Jeremy Hunt - remember him?- (wheeled out of his den to be a vacuous talking head) manages to score a zinger by pointing out how fucking weak he is due to Hunt having to endure round-the-clock helicopters and daily reporter barrages (rightly so) in his tenure as a minister fucking the NHS raw, it fucking kills me to agree with the cunt. Would you want Farage in government if he folds like a fucking origami shit-bird? Nige is now taking the "fight to the establishment" and fighting a shit-poster in a bin. He's going to be remembered as the guy who lost votes to a bin. Even if he wins, he had to fight a bin to get the votes. Liz Truss will inevitably breathe some weapons' grade cringe into this.

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Unironically, Count Binface is restoring faith in democracy: Professional grifter and fascist Nigel Farage called a by-election to distract from his upcoming corruption investigation, only for everybody to step aside due to the farce it was EXCEPT for our saviour Count Binface (who no longer can go by Lord Buckethead due to a copyright dispute), running on a pisstake platform. BECAUSE he is the only other candidate, BBC News and other outlets have to give him the screentime they would normally reserve for the red carpet of Nige, and it's fucking amazing. A cretinous racist who wanted to start this year by showing his party is serious and has widespread appeal as "the party of the people" and that he is "the prime minister we need" is now going to be spending the next three weeks arguing with a bin, who put up 500 quid to run for a giggle, and the best part is that his party of fucking coat-tail riding dead-eyed goons are tearing themselves asunder demanding to know which "leftist agitator" and "establishment shill" is funding Count Binface. Clacton, please. Please elect him

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Glory to Count Binface: if elected he will save the British taxpayer £350,000 by doing absolutely nothing. He has stated his job is: "To celebrate and defend the wonders of British democracy." 99 Flakes! WHOO! Legend. You know what you must do, people of Clacton. (Sometimes we're the best)

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Shoutout to Burn Gorman and his weird ass fucking career: 1. Best known as the absolute worst character in the hit and miss "Torchwood", being one of those "guy from that thing" actors whose face you recognised but never the name, beforehand. 2. Suddenly popping up in odd American TV shows like immortal pathologist show "Forever" and as a cowboy Nazi-collaborating bounty hunter in "Man in the High Castle" 3. A stint in "Game of Thrones" (remember that show?) as was legally required for every British actor. 4. Appearing in a horror movie called "Watcher" where his reputation and face are so recognisable to me at this point that I went "Oh so he's the fucking killer then" the moment his name appeared in the credits. I was correct. 5. "Pacific Rim" having me sit upright in the cinema and go "what the fuck are you doing here?" when he appeared on screen. And NOT being the villain. 6. Subsequently becoming Guillermo Del Toro's lucky charm in all of his movies. 7. Being in the sequels to "Beetlejuice" and "Jumanji" for some fucking reason. Good for you man!

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Shoutout to "Drive" (the 1997 Mark Dacascos movie) for featuring my all time favourite goons/villains: smooth talking, dapperly dressed cowboy "Vic Madison" and dishevelled "Hedgehog" (the excellent Tracey Walter), who are hot on the trail of our bionic hero and his new unemployed hero, but bicker about what TV to watch in their camper van (Hedgehog wants "Walter the Einstein Frog", whilst Vic Madison is annoyed that his trashy fem-dom game show is no longer as good as it was) and discuss old jobs they did together, like killing a Governor in Georgia. Where did they meet? HOW did they meet? What's their deal? I love them. Great time, fun movie

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I went in knowing literally nothing about it, solely that the title was hilarious: "Nirvana: The Band - The Show - The Movie" is a technical marvel, a slice of post-modern outsider punk art putting mockumentary, riff track, internet show, prank show, real footage, and secret movie genre into a blender and hitting "puree" for glorious, delicious, creative results. It is a funny, charming, absolutely bonkers ode to the DIY era of movie making, the 2008 internet video era, and friendship. I was pissing myself with laughter.