got coke?

You might wanna stay on my good side.

[farsfarley-blog]

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[ferristhebrain]

You gotta’ have some Oprah in there! Think about how happy people will be when they hear the words, “You get a lawn set, and you get one too! The gentleman over here is going to get a vacation to Hawaii for three weeks!”

[andrew-mathews]

I don't think you understand the reality of the situation. I'm not that generous.

[ferristhebrain]

Nicely done, I guess you truly are the next Dr. Phil. You should become a combonation of Oprah, Dr. Phil, Ellen, and Conan O’Brien; now that is something I want to see!

[andrew-mathews]

My goal is to be a lovely mixture of Ellen, Conan O'Brien, Dr. Phil and Jon Stewart with a little Andrew mixed in there.

[ferristhebrain]

I’ll be supporting you from the live studio audience! Make sure to fake a really sweet southern accent.

[andrew-mathews]

Who says I need to fake it? I am from East Texas, after all, I can pull it off if I stop trying to sound like a yank.

[hostagesrpg-deactivated20150610]

Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up- was looking for something.

[andrew-mathews]

Um, ok. What were you looking for?

[ferristhebrain]

Great talk! It was like Dr. Phil. Getting me to admit my asshole personality.

[andrew-mathews]

It's official, I'm running away to become the next Dr. Phil.

[hostagesrpg-deactivated20150610]

M’ I really that bad of a sight to wake up to?

[andrew-mathews]

I mostly just wasn't expecting to wake up to someone in my room.

[ferristhebrain]

Alright, then I just added to it! Also you’re welcome, sorta, kinda, not really.

[andrew-mathews]

Good talk.

[aspen-wtf]

Wow. That was good. I saw it as someone’s tattoo. 

[andrew-mathews]

Told you I was psychic. That's a pretty badass tattoo.

[hostagesrpg-deactivated20150610]

[andrew-mathews]

FUCK

[ferristhebrain]

Fine, I’ll let you have a little bit of pride. I’m a sorta, kinda, not really, asshole.

[andrew-mathews]

I have enough pride already, but thanks for sorta, kinda, not really admitting the truth.

[aspen-wtf]

What kind of butterflies? Once you tell me, you can be a psychic okay. 

[andrew-mathews]

Monarch butterflies, but in your imagination they have purple bodies and green wings.

[ferristhebrain]

Andrew, you definitely don’t know me then. I’m not the biggest asshole out there. I’m an asshole for reasons.

[andrew-mathews]

Maybe not the biggest one, but don't deny it.

[aspen-wtf]

#if someone used those science lines on me my clothes would probably just fall off

[ferristhebrain]

all of us should get together and just find more science pick up lines bc YASSS.

[andrew-mathews]

i just want people to use them in real life. this is how im gonna start picking up chicks from now on

[aspen-wtf]

Okay, do it. What am I thinking about? 

[andrew-mathews]

Butterflies.

See? I'm like psychic or something.

[ferristhebrain]

Actually incorrect. I’m not a cocky asshole, I just have a boasted ego, therefore making me appear like an asshole, but not a true one at heart.

[andrew-mathews]

Sometimes it can be tough for assholes to realize what they are, it's ok.

[ferristhebrain]

Try me.

[andrew-mathews]

You're a cocky asshole and your IQ is most of your personality. That was easy.