&; [dick joke]

S̶t̶r̶i̶p̶p̶e̶r̶ / Linguist / Reedie / currently in the Bay Area. Theme: Pixelunion Background: Xia Sax

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Day 24093 This is my house. I won’t allow anyone to harm it. There should have been no more intruders after the last one. I do not want these people here. They will leave-

Day 24095 They are siblings. They are loud. Always singing and talking and stomping. As if they must be louder than anything else.

Day 24106 There are bolts on the door now. Bolts and hideous, gaudy new locks. How dare they-

Night 24112 I was going to fill the night with terrors. But he woke up screaming before I began. She came running from the other room. They sleep right across the hall from each other, with the doors on a crack. …they are young, are they not, to be living on their own. Was I ever so young?

Day 24129 She has fixed the squeak in the door at the top of the stairs. It never squeaked when I still lived.

Day 24121 The noise of the doorbell scares them. But they get so many deliveries. It is a good bell. It has worked all these years- I can see one of the men coming now with his packages, trudging up to the door. …perhaps if I knock before he is here, they will come and look before he can sound the bell.

Day 24114 He is planting flowers in boxes on my windowsills. I always wished I could have some flowers.

Night 24137 She is afraid of the dark. I could see it in her eyes when she got out of bed. …I lit the lamps for her.

Day 24142 They have moved the couch to the sun spot a little to the right of the window. That is where I used to have my armchair. It is the only sensible place for it.

Day 24163 Sometimes the noises of the world are suddenly too much for him. He winces and tries not to sway his head. This is my house. …I can keep it calm and quiet for a while.

Day 24178 She just got a phone call and now they are both laughing. Laughter is a good sound, isn’t it. They said this house has been good luck…

Night 24205 They are singing in our kitchen. He found my cookbook in the gap at the back of the kitchen cabinet and now they are trying to cook. They wanted to start with the soufflé. They don’t even know how to make béchamel! I turned the page to the casserole instead.

Day 24236 This is my house. These are my boarders. I won’t allow anyone to harm them.

[anachronistic-cat]

I’m crying. This just hit all my emotions

[modernsuperhero]

i love this so much!!!!!!

Local Ghost Adopts Children

[arahir]

really wanna live in a peaceful seaside ghibli town with ambiguous european architecture and bakeries and maybe a field right outside of town where i can have picnics with the love of my life tbh

[valarhalla]

Ok so there’s these tidal islands in Northern Germany that are connected by little tiny trains that you have to drive yourself, which is already delightfully ghibli-esque.

But then I found out UNTIL THE 196OS, THE TRAINS HAD LITTLE SAILS AND WERE WIND-POWERED?

THAT’S THE MOST GHIBLI THING TO EVER EXIST ON THIS PLANET, BRING IT BACK YOU MONSTERS.

[valarhalla]

Ok clearly, we just need a ghibli movie set in a world inspired by East Frisia, because in addition to the Sail-Wagons, they also have:

Windmills

Lighthouses

The world’s highest per capita tea consumption, with adorably ghibliesque tea ceremonies

Houses that look like this

Farms that look like this

Heart-shaped waffles (ok that’s everywhere in Northern Germany, but our adorable waffles deserve a ghibli cameo).

SEALS

[radwolf76]

[twoblokesandafuckloadofcutlery]

Visit Original Link

[sleepwalk-living]

How the fuck do you do this on accident. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU OPEN TWENTY FIVE SONGS BY MISTAKE

[danielstaniel]

I might tag this with something stupid so I can always find it..

[ghostslament-deactivated2021030]

I want this as my ringtone

[ghostslament-deactivated2021030]

What if someone to found out all of these song names

[dil-howlters-porthole]

1) “In Too Deep” - Sum 41  2) “Misery Business” - Paramore 3) “Helena” - My Chemical Romance 4) “American Idiot” - Green Day 5) “Feeling This” - Blink 182 6) “Basketcase” - Green Day 7) “Stay Together for the Kids” - Blink 182 8) “Gives You Hell” - All-American Rejects 9) “The Rock Show” - Blink 182 10) “The Middle” - Jimmy Eat World 11) “I Caught Fire” - the Used 12) “Sugar, We’re Going Down” - Fall Out Boy 13) “That’s What You Get” - Paramore 14) “Five Mintues to Midnight” - Boys Like Girls 15) “Move Along” - All-American Rejects 16) “Stacy’s Mom” - Fountains of Wayne 17) “Dear Maria, Count Me In” - All Time Low 18) “Crushcrushcrush” - Paramore 19) “Here (In Your Arms)” - Hellogoodbye 20) “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been” - Relient K 21) “Soul Meets Body” - Death Cab For Cutie 22) “The Future Freaks Me Out” - Motion City Soundtrack 23) “My Friends Over You” - New Found Glory 24) “Fat Lip” - Sum 41 25) “Teenagers” - My Chemical Romance “Perfect” - Simple Plan there you go, all the songs

[bpd-manicqueen]

This is the greatest thing I have seen in a long time.

[lucky-glitch-deactivated2016081]

best

[jameshoppy]

what happn

[arctic-song-blogs]

So.. amazing

[jaxblade]

Its like my Entire Pre-Teen-Teen years fused into one

[beautifulbizarremagazine]

The kittens or the skull: what do you like more in this painting by @caseyweldon ?⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ posted on Instagram - https://ift.tt/31FMFCz

[trovia]

“As early as the 1920s, researchers giving IQ tests to non-Westerners realized that any test of intelligence is strongly, if subtly, imbued with cultural biases… Samoans, when given a test requiring them to trace a route form point A to point B, often chose not the most direct route (the “correct” answer), but rather the most aesthetically pleasing one. Australian aborigines find it difficult to understand why a friend would ask them to solve a difficult puzzle and not help them with it. Indeed, the assumption that one must provide answers alone, without assistance from those who are older and wiser, is a statement about the culture-bound view of intelligence. Certainly the smartest thing to do, when face with a difficult problem, is to seek the advice of more experienced relatives and friends!”

— Jonathan Marks - Anthropology and the Bell Curve (via mgrable)

[i-suggest-trainsxoxoxox]

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. IQ tests measure how well someone takes IQ tests and that is it.

[erinlace-deactivated20200503]

[bone-and-brawn]

[lawofcollage]

Happy Black History Month, here’s an amazing resource that I’m going to pour over later

[falsephilosopher]

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you need to laugh childishly today, it has been 6969 days since the year 2000 ended.

[just-shower-responses]

i’m putting a date on this, 1/30/20 it’s fucking real

[andsemicolon]

Visit Original Link

Hey y'all, I turned this one into a ringtone. I guess I’ll have my phone on not-vibrate for a while.

[sharkodactyl]

do you want to see a movie where you have no idea what is going on for the first forty-five minutes? jupiter ascending is the film for you! other highlights include:

a ten minute long spaceship fight with no context or purpose, which destroys a city. “no one will remember” channing tatum growls as they leave the city, as if youtube does not exist

“here’s a latke for you, bitch”

someone using a menstrual pad as a bandage by slapping the sticky part onto the wound, leaving the actual blood-absorbing part just kind of…waving around

actors chewing the scenery so hard i’m surprised beautifully over-constructed bits of space metal aren’t just falling out of their mouths

a man trying to shoot thousands of bees in the middle of a cornfield

a gun that makes dog noises. it barks. the gun barks. 

oedipus complexes so beautifully twisted and terrible that you will spend half the movie mouthing “oh my god” to yourself

related to that, the climactic line of the movie is “i’m not your damn mother,” so take that as you will

a breathtakingly gorgeous and complex universe used as a background for a romance between woman and a man. granted, the man is a wolf angel. but still.

I CREATE LIVES……………….

[whispers] and destroy them

[sharkodactyl]

no i’m sorry i have to keep going

“bees can sense royalty”

mila kunis having the powerful realization partway through that she is a furry, an epiphany that changes her life

“i love dogs” she whispers, eyes wide

SPACE BUREAUCRACY. A MONTAGE THAT IS JUST SPACE BUREAUCRACY. THEY FILL OUT SPACE FORMS. IN SPACE.

“bees can sense royalty”

channing tatum, shirtless in the void of space

a room FILLED WITH CANDLES

soylent green nectar…….is…………….peeeeoplllle

“bees can sense royalty”

sean bean’s apparent daughter, who shows up onscreen for a minute and a half, leaves to get supplies for dinner, and never comes back

yeah sean bean is in this too i didn’t believe it either

“bees can sense royalty”

a space wedding. it’s just like an earth wedding. BUT IN SPACE

mila kunis’ character’s name is jupiter

yes i am dead serious about this

she spends most of the movie falling

they really should have called it “jupiter descending” because that’s all she does

  “bees can sense royalty”

[velocigrey-deactivated20160825]

All that repetition of how bees can sense royalty, and you leave out the fact that the bees were an alarm system set up by Sean Bean, who is part bee.

[boogerwookiesugarcookie]

Did you seriously leave out Channing Tatum’s flying rollerskates?

[sevenpoints]

[tricksterity-deactivated2017112]

ok but you left out the fact that when sean bean’s part bee character swears he says “beeswax!” in the same tone someone would say “fuck!”

[spacerollerblades]

a cinematic masterpiece

[systlin]

This movie is so ridiculous it’s fantastic

[guilty-as-battery-charged-deact]

The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.

The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit. 

[guilty-as-battery-charged-deact]

One of the tenants is a creative writing major and Gomez and Morticia house them up in the tower because of the quiet and the inspiring view

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

They go to their room after classes one day and find Thing correcting the grammar errors in the manuscript with a red pen 

[specialstarfish]

and yeah, the students pay roughly market value for their rooms, but that doesn’t stop gomez from shouting “capital idea!” and handing them wads of cash when they tell him about their weekend plans or what they’re researching, so they basically end up living there for free

[gholateg]

In the same vein, half the them have to turn into exceptional fencers, because Gomez just doesn’t give a shit, and if he sees you in the library, its fucking Sword Fighting Time. 

Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history. 

Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom. 

Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud. 

And the spookiest thing of all

Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable. 

There is no escape. 

[aardvarkingmad]

I especially love the idea of Gomez spotting a student in the library, throwing a sword at a startled student, shouting, “En garde!” and lunging at him/her with a sword of his own.

Student (later in life), when asked how she jumps from quietly doing research to handling a sudden influx of ER cases so quickly and easily, says, “When you have to snap out of deep concentration on biochem to fight for your life then get back to biochem without losing your train of thought…you learn or you die.”

[soap-stains]

This has made me laugh so hard-

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[shencomix]