I&#x27;m a Bit Lost

Anger. Such a common feeling. A sentiment like despair and even sadness. They were all mixed inside Ehecatĺ. Vardan wasn’t only stronger and bigger: he also had a gift with the words. While Ehecatl’s anger did not allow her to say anything, Vardan could easily manipulate the others with his speech. The former Beta never felt so useless.

She took a look on the others. Their faces and expressions. If she could only speak— if she could only defend herself!

However, even great speakers can make a mistake. To say something like that about Maugrim on the day she chose for his tribute? Vardan had no idea what he was dealing with. She growled, her fur trembled and the golden of her eyes seemed like fire. Anger. Despair. But not sadness anymore. Fury.

Suddenly, she hit the floor. The traitor had been faster. Ehecatl’s legs were trembling when she rose again, but no words were needed. No attack was needed, either. A Wolf smile shone on Ehecatl’s face. Her Wolves were there for her. Her pack. Her pups.

"They know your words are not true. And do you know why? Because they were loved by Maugrim, like you were, but never understood. If you speak of my Alpha like he was worth nothing, then you have no rights to be his successor. The Queen is dead and shall rise no more. This is the Wolves’s conquer! It’s our time to rule, it’s our time to spread fear! No Wolf’s blood shall ever be poured again!" Ehecatl growled and barked at Vardan. "Do you still want to fight me? Do you still want to be Alpha by strenght?"

The Beta looked at their faces again and her courage rose and filled her heart. She smiled and hoarsely laughed. “They chose me, Vardan. They trust me. Ask them, come on! Ask them if they’d chosen you. ASK THEM!”

“Onni is right. The only reason any of us stand here today is because,” Idonea paused, steeling her nerve and her grief and using them to make them all see. “Because Maugrim knew how to protect us and fight for us. Maugrim kept us alive and together for so long. Even when he left the first time, Ehecatl did the same thing. Because she learned from *him*! Don’t you get it, Vardan?! This isn’t about proving yourself, or glorifying anything. This is nowhere near the time to think of yourself. We’re all in mourning, and in danger! We have to look out for each other, we have to do what Maugrim did! If the humans should come for us again, will we survive by fighting amongst ourselves or by banding together *as a pack* and fighting for what is our most basic right; one they fought for centuries to obtain for themselves and neglect to remember we all deserve?! The right to live free in our own country?!” If they should attack her for saying his name, so be it. Idonea no longer cared. If Maugrim’s name would bond them together as the wolf himself always had in times of peace out struggle, then it was worth the risk. Unlike Vardan, or Onni, or even Ehecatl, Idonea had a pup. She had Otsoko to think of. She had much she wanted to teach her daughter, and this… This was not what she wanted Ko to learn. Family had to stick together when things got hard. They had to think of each other or everything would fall apart. No one would win anything, but they’d all lose everything.

When Vardan charged nonetheless, the huge Tawny female did as well. In the blink of an eye, she was there, cutting him off from attacking the other female again. She looked every bit as lethal as she was. Snarling and growling, with hair completely on end and all teeth bared, she waited. She was bigger than him, and he knew it. He might win against Ehecatl, but if he wanted to do that, he’d have to beat her first. “Do you really want to do this, Vardan? You might defeat Ehecatl, but are you so confident you can defeat me? You remember last time? I’m stronger than you. I’m faster, I’m smarter, and I’m bigger. Go on and try. Ehecatl, why don’t you remind us all what happened the last time Vardan tried to get the best of me!”

“You’re a damn fool!” Idonea bellowed, not relaxing her defensive stance. “The only way out is to leave, you’re right. But don’t you dare, for one moment, think I won’t hurt you if you try to harm anyone in this pack! Even if he didn’t choose Ehecatl as his successor, she was still his Beta! That makes her successor by default! Don’t be arrogant, Vardan! Do you think *you* can protect us as well as Maugrim and Ehecatl both have?! You’re stubborn and foolhardy! You have no comprehension of strategy or anything it takes to aid us in defeating the humans! *YOUR* ways are the ones that will get us all killed! You loved Maugrim once, Vardan. I know you did. How did you come to hate him so much that you seek to gain from his loss? Because he wouldn’t let you prove yourself? Can’t you see? Ehecatl has no ambition to lead; she does it because it is her duty! If she were able, she’d bring him back to us in a second! But you, you would keep him dead and take his position only to feed your narcissistic power quest.”

Idonea had never known a rage like she did now. How dare he?! This was supposed to be a day for the family to be together and realize what was important! Leave it to Vardan top screw it all up. Yet, she did not speak. Ehecatl, Alpha’s, words rang truer than any she could give. Vardan had no respect for Maugrim and his teachings. He did not deserve to lead this family. Their new Alpha’s words were so like Maugrim’s. If nothing else, those words would bond them all and make them see the truth. And if Vardan still wanted to fight, she’d stop him as she had before.

“I choose Ehecatl.” Idonea exclaimed loyally and instantly, her brown eyes challenging. “You are no leader, Vardan. You will *never* understand what it takes to be one. *I* was an Alpha. I was a leader. The pack in my charge may be gone, but I will defend this one with my life the same way my mate and I defended that one. I’ll defend this pack with my life the same as if I were Alpha. That feeling never fades. The urge to protect never goes away. It’s with you forever. There is more to being leader than power! You have to think of others, you idiot. You have to live and breathe for your family, the ones who look to you for strength and protection! And that is something you will never be capable of. Your heart beats only for itself. Tell me, if you were cornered by a human, would you sacrifice yourself for this pack, or would you save yourself only to let Bai, or Onni, or Otsoko die in your place?! I will not let you take this family to ruin.”

#Finally got to typing this all down. I had the scene replaying in my head so many times.#...I was just too lazy to type. I'm sorry.#tribute

A harsh bark of laughter tore tension in two, and Vardan sneered at Idonea and Ehecatl. "You two don't get it. I'm not here to glorify, disgrace, or prove anything except for the truth that I'm the better choice. A beta is a beta. Nothing more. Being a beta does not make you the next alpha. Isn't that right?"

The Wolf locked eyes with the veterans of the Secret Police, settling on Onni in the end. "Isn't. That. Right?" He once considered the black Wolf as a comrade; though apart, they struggled in similar ways, always needing to improve and prove his place in the Pack. But that was past. He knew now the black Wolf was never a friend. "Did you choose this beta as the next alpha? Did you choose this Wolf as the next alpha without thinking of her position? Who did that? M--he is... not here. He is--he is--"

Dead. It was a word the Wolf couldn't say, for it was the word's absence that locked his knees and kept his voice even, and if he were to utter it now, the spell upon him would dissolve. Die. As such was the Wolf's predicament which spurned into rage. His plan lay at his paws, torn, abandoned. The spring breeze stroked the Wolf's fur as he made a lunge for Ehecatl, circling first to the right as before.

The Wolf called Vardan once had the notion to speak to the Pack and convince them that he should be alpha. He knew how the entire Pack can survive. He knew what his alpha wanted, and he knew what his alpha lacked. Refusing to glorify someone, Vardan quickly feinted left with the belief that the Pack has grown blind. They follow his alpha mindlessly. It was disgusting to watch. He attacked with fangs aimed for Ehecatl's throat.

Relief was experienced for the first time in days. While the Wolf would never admit it to anyone, he felt at ease to know that his alpha was gone, for would he not disappoint him now?

No. It wasn't just him. It was the Pack, too. So weak, so trifling. They were a disgrace.

It was not for Vardan to know, but Otsoko shared the same thoughts. She found it consoling to know Maugrim was absent. Like her, surely he would suffocate under words dripping red, their existence only valued in their ability to tear, pierce, sully. Truly, they had a heavy stench to them.

The Wolf pup witnessed her world unravel, destroyed, from Bai's mouth, who, with a muffled voice, ordered the other pups to follow him inside the den. As if to ease their minds, the white Wolf bombarded the tiny ears with halfhearted retorts that he, too, wanted to compete for the position of alpha. Much to his disappointment, only a few Wolf pups giggled at the image, and none of them made a stinging comment. Imagine, Bai wanted to hear, imagine! We'd be forced to talk in pun-language. The laughter the white Wolf prepared for the occasion died in his knotted stomach.

Otsoko was taken away, the swinging motion unlatching a whimper as she caught one last glimpse of Vardan's challenge. She hung there, powerless. So weak, so trifling. She was a disgrace.

((Ehecatl, Onni, Idonea, or any of the other Wolves can land a hit on Vardan~))

wolveswolves

By National Geographic

#The Pack

yo, chill. humans are cool, dawg. lolgetit we like invented opera music and crap.

EWW. Humans invented poop? Ewwwww.

#That backfired. Gotta like one-tracked mind children.#nrpwinnie #ask

Are you the youngest Wolf in the pack? -Matty

Not even close! We get new pups every year because everyone loves pups. I get to take care of them too! I’m called a big sister!

…

… … …

…I-I mean-ed to say, “Leave, h-h-human.”

#nrpmatty #ask

onlyhatredleft

H-hel--h-hi.

…You are far from home.

#Hah. ''less dangerous''#onlyhatredleft #far

Ears leaned forward to catch the words of ripples. Almost instantly, Otsoko found herself stumbling closer to the stranger that looked human but was not. Her nose informed her the stranger was something more than mud. He was cleaner, less dangerous. The smell was trustworthy.

"Umm." Otsoko spoke, her words a restless wag of the tail. "I don't want to go home yet. ...is this your home?"

Idonea’s breath came heavily and sharply. Every question her daughter asked sent the tawny female further into a dark abyss of grief and pain. How could she make Otsoko understand that the word death was so final? That the ones she loved so dearly were never coming back? That the only way she’d ever see them again, besides in dreams, was that she herself would have to die?

“No, darling. They aren’t coming back.” Idonea admitted in a choked voice.

“But I know that they are watching over us. They are with us even if we can’t see them. You know how I know that? Because there will be times you’ll smell them as if they were sitting right next to you. Or you’ll hear their howls on the wind. Listen…”

Sitting up straighter and moving her ears around, Idonea listened to the wind blowing through the forest. “Do you hear them?” She asked. “Listen, Otsoko. Can you hear them?”

#selfless secrets #selflesssecrets #goodnight

Otsoko didn't stir. She already knew the answer. They weren't coming back. But words spilled nonetheless, for they wouldn't listen. They refused, pushing the Wolf pup down, telling her to be quiet and always hope. Always, always.

"But... Mommy. You said if I be good, I get to see them again. So how come they aren't coming back?"

Because they're dead.

The young, young Wolf pup clambered out of the tawny solace and bade farewell, for now, to the lost scents which captured her so. Still, remnants managed to cling to her thick fur. If she were to inhale, she'd find them again, there under the forest floor where neither treetops nor sprinting prey held the same importance as they did if she merely breathed like usual. To find those scents, she must inhale and hold it for as long as she can. She collapsed into that intoxicating, captivating desire. Her chest rising, Otsoko mirrored her mother and sat up.

Blowing against the Wolf pup's snout, the spring breeze was cruel. It wrenched the gossamer memories from Otsoko's pelt and replaced them, burying the replacements into her skin and ears, with the images of swaying leaves, sleeping rabbits, bright sun rays scattering about. She was immured in the familiar scent of the pack's territory, but she could not find the dead.

"I don't hear them, Mommy. I don't smell them. Don't they want me to hear and smell them?"

Otsoko couldn't understand. The comfort of "always" wavered as she bowed her head, utterly defeated, disappointed.

the-shattered-shield found you

the-shattered-shield

I’m walking alone today, out gathering firewood for where I’ve set up camp for the night. When I come back to my camp, I get a nice fire going and settle in to cook up the bird that I’d caught earlier and gotten ready.

Off a bit in the distance, maybe a few feet away, I could just barely make out a snout sticking out of the shrubs. It makes me laugh, it does. I toss a piece of quail over towards the wolf, if only to see if she’ll take my offering. I’ve always been an animal person. In fact, I prefer them to humans and elves and any other races I’ve met.

#Sorry for the late reply!#theshatteredshield #scent

One scent pushed her further inside the bush while another propelled her forward, nudging her to take a step. Then two. Then three, four. Listening to the scent, she took a small leap. Her stomach growled its approval when paws and earth met once more.

She was out in the open, a scrap of quail in front of her--her reward and snack. A giggle in her throat, the Wolf pup pranced closer. She and meat. Meat and she.

And human.

The familiar stench of human, now more potent due to the lack of leaves, froze the stout limbs and flattened the ears. Otsoko scampered to the shrubs until her hind legs were covered.

"Is this... i-is it poisoned? This--" A small tongue hung out, enticed. "--meat is good? I-is it mine?"

Wary eyes were stuck to the stranger as Otsoko bowed, consuming the meat's scent.

wolveswolves

Source

#fc

-giggles- My dear wolf friend, good morning~ -kneels down- Remember me? We shared a sandwich together! (Yes Ruanne I plan to make this very very very very hard for you.)

-tail starts wagging- I reme— -stops and sits on her tail before looking away; shakes head though it looks like it’s more for herself than for Mabel- I don’t. I don’t remember you. I don’t share food with a Daughter of—h-human.

silver-apple

…-heart brakes silently-…did they?

-sighs and looks behind her and then looks at Otsoko- Can you keep a secret?

-slowly starts unbuttoning down the front of her dress, only to expose the better part of her lower neck and shoulder—which is still marked by wolf teeth- -she shows the injury to Otsoko and quickly buttons her dress up again-

A wolf did that. But you don’t smell at all bad to me. I wonder why that is.

#I like how confused my characters get when it comes to Mabel. First Irm then Otsoko.#silver apple #silverapple #rememberme

-stares, frightened- A-A Wolf did that? But why? Who was the Wolf? Was it--

No! You're still alive. S-See? A Wolf didn't kill you, but a human killed a Wolf. Only humans are... -looks down- bad. And that's that.

*Out for a walk in the woods to clear her head, Elizabeth stops short when she spots a small wolf cub. She stands very still as she listens for any sounds around them that might indicate other wolves, and is careful not to look the wee one in the eye* You're very young to be traveling alone. Are you all right?

-jumps at the voice and turns around too quickly that she almost trips before regaining balance- I’m looking for—

-realizes she’s speaking to a human- W-what do you want? I’m s-stronger than I l-look, you know. I’m… -shaking, she takes a step back while whispering- Are you going to kidnap me?

yarncrafterliz

*Liz shrugs, trying to appear as casual and non-threatening as possible* Well, certainly. But I’ve only ever used it to peel apples. I just have it in case something bigger than I am comes along and wants to hurt me.

*She looks at the little wolf’s bared teeth, and nods to show that she understands.* I can see that you’re well prepared for the same thing. I may be bigger than you, but you don’t have to be afraid of me. I would never hurt a cub, and I’m ready to go home. I just worry that you might need some help finding your home. I cannot help you with that, because I don’t know where it is, and even if you trusted me to help you, your family would probably attack me.

#yarncrafterliz #listentome

H-Hah! -relaxes a little- Sons and Daughters of A--humans don't know how to smell. Don't know how to look too. T-That's-- -scoots back, enough, in her opinion, to avoid attacks- --weak. H-Humans are weak and.... d-deaf and blind. And dumb. The pack is always here. They can smell me and can kill you when they want to and they're very, very, very strong and...

-reassured, she glares- Where did you find the tracks?

Tribute for Maugrim || Ehecatl, Idonea, Vardan, Otsoko, Onni (if anybody else wants to roleplay as a wolf, feel free to join)

inflammableprince-blog

If he was tempted to wag his tail in elation at the sign of Ehecatl—tall and proud, grave and confident, mist and wind—Onni knew that another wolf would bite it off. No matter. The grief would have broken the action otherwise. He wanted to howl until his voice became hoarse, the sound stolen from his throat like the golden eyes that were stolen from the pack. But this time, Onni could not mount a rescue mission and save anyone. None of his good intentions counted for anything, and he felt more useless than ever in his whole life. If he had been stronger, perhaps, then there would be no need for mourning. If he had followed just a little closer, then the blade would have found him instead.

There would be no more ancient chuckles, no gentle but assertive paw pressing down on the black wolf’s chest. What was a shadow without someone to follow? He felt only small, lost.

It was a blow to his heart that the gathering was so abruptly redirected, that his fellow wolves would so soon utter “Alpha” when their true Alpha was gone. No one, not even Ehecatl, could be the alpha that Maugrim was. He questioned Ehecatl silently with his eyes. She wanted this to be a tribute, right, and not a battlefield for dominance? She would not let dispute trample on the memory of their Alpha? But he knew that she was right, as always. Now was not the time to sit around and lick their wounds. Maugrim would bite him if the black wolf let grief become a stumbling block. The pack needed, always needed an Alpha. And Onni’s support lay behind Ehecatl, Maugrim’s beta.

His fur bristled, his lips curled back, and he nearly tripped over his own legs as he whirled to face Vardan. “We’re family,” Onni snapped before realizing that he had started talking in the middle of his train of thought. “I mean, Al—Maugrim wouldn’t want us to fight. Didn’t he call all of us his pups? We’re Al—Maugrim’s family.” Self-consciousness pulled his tail between his legs. “I know I just joined the Secret Police, but I know the Maugrim that I saw. He was the kindest, the wisest, the…best. I trust him. He chose Ehecatl. So stop this, Vardan.”

He growled in punctuation for good measure. He knew he was weaker, but he would attack Vardan and any other wolf if they continued to oppose Ehe—Alpha.

He chose Ehecatl.

Onni’s voice haunted Ehecatl like a phantom hidden in the dark corners of her mind. Were those words true? Was it fair to make them rely on something that might not even be true? Maugrim wasn’t there anymore to comprove that he actually had chosen her. The echoes of the black wolf’s voice finally came to an end when the gray wolf saw a relapse of light on the horizon. She hadn’t realized it was already morning. The sun was playing hide and seek with the mountains and trees with their Dryads asleep.

"Onni. Idonea. Move."

Ehecatl raised her muzzle proudly and licked her lips quickly. Huh. So Vardan declared himself as Alpha? Why was she not surprised? Again, like a phantom, memories of Maugrim’s first death came to her mind perfectly detailed. That time Vardan had done the exact same. Couldn’t he understand that this was not about power? Ehecatl would give everything, her own life if she had to, to bring Maugrim back. For Vardan, it really was a celebration, wasn’t it? And Maugrim wasn’t coming back this time.

He finally had a chance. Well, except he didn’t.

"Idonea even gave you a nickname, Var? You must be feeling special, mm? A great day for you! Maugrim is dead, the Alpha position is open and we can actually say you’re stronger than me, so you have a great chance of winning! Indeed a great day!”

While she said that, Ehecatl smiled and vooosh! She was gone. Like the wind, she was nowhere to be seen. Hiding behind a tree, the gray wolf smiled once more and jumped over Vardan, making no sound. His expression of surprise caused Ehecatl to laugh when she was on top of him with her paw on his back.

"Except you can’t even catch me, can ya? How are you going to defend these wolves with your life if you can’t even see what’s behind you?"

"No." The huge tawny female retorted, still focused on the grey male. "I won't. I will not let him cause more deaths, Ehecatl. We've all lost enough. No one else is dying. I won't let it happen."

Before she could blink, before she could breathe, her sister was gone. Idonea was ready to attack anything that moved when Ehecatl suddenly appeared on top of Vardan. A hoarse laugh escaped her throat as Ehecatl taunted Vardan.

And yet, the larger female was prepared. She knew that this could escalate very quickly, and she wanted to be ready. "Bai, watch Otsoko." Idonea called to the aged white Wolf. "Otsoko, mind Bai!" with that, she pushed herself forward with force, jumping to aid her Alpha.

#inflammableprince #cursedtoremember #selfless secrets #selflesssecrets #tribute

A white Wolf dislodged himself from a dozen of compacted furballs he was assigned to. After ordering the Wolf pups to stay, he sauntered to Idonea, his tongue lagging from one corner of his mouth. "I heard you the first time," said Bai. "But why me? What if I wanted to challenge Ehecatl, huh? Did anybody think of that, huh? Hello? Talking here. I--hello, Ko. Don't run off, okay? I already owe your mom an elk."

Otsoko vehemently shook her head and cried, "Mommy, don't go." She scrambled for the tawny fur. "Var isn't bad. He's--"

"Oh, no you don't," Bai said.

The Wolf pup felt the earth give way as Bai carried her by the scruff. She lost her bearings. Legs were useless, limp and unable to carry her to the crowd encircling the match for alpha. Her nose felt gorged, and the scent of the pack came in fragments, shattered and cleaved by the spring sun. The world was gray, shunned. Otsoko felt smaller than before.

She couldn't understand yet, but what Otsoko felt had a similar companion inside Vardan. The gray Wolf was pinned down beside a throbbing surprise in his eyes that reflected the squeezing of his heart. It was a moment of weakness, one that was not welcomed. "Don't patronize me!"

He snapped the air, though hammered restraint kept his bite short of contact. Using his hind legs, he pushed Ehecatl off him and he stood, crouching, his veteran muscles lying in wait for another attack. His breathing steadied. A fight, like always. A fight he could handle, but grieving he could not.

"You know as well as others that is a lie," Vardan said, his upper lip curling back. His hackles rose. "It's not a great day and I can win, if not by speed then by endurance. You know. Mau--" The name refused to be uttered. The gray Wolf obliged lest he collapse from the effort. "He knew what I can do."

Wild eyes were thrown to Idonea. He snapped again. "Don't come any closer. You can't kill me. You're not allowed to. Did you forget the only way out of this pack is to leave voluntarily? He said so. You can't kill me. Never. And it's because we're--"

"--family," whispered Otsoko in unison. Still in between Bai's jaws, she had a clear view of Vardan stretching his neck upward. While he tried to look bigger, she heard him address the pack.

"We're family, but we're dying. We need a change. Mau--his ways are killing us. We need our freedom back--we'll kill any opposition and live." The gray Wolf looked at Onni. "You agree, don't you? We're dying! How many of us are left? The humans will hunt us down like last time during their so-called Golden Age! You want that to happen?"

He didn't wait for a response. Vardan launched for Ehecatl's right side.

the-shattered-shield found you

A new scent shoved the Wolf pup back into the bushes, leaving only her snout, trembling terribly, for the newcomer to see. Fear became her new scent that hung from her pelt. She breathed in this feeling as much as she was drowning in it.

The stranger was human.

#Hello~ Thank you for the follow~#theshatteredshield #scent

(Headcanon) Mother/Idonea {{Curious to see some of your headcanons, cause I know I have plenty. XD}}

ooc: Because you said “some,” I’ll put in more than one headcanon~

Idonea has the greatest influence over Otsoko, but even that is not enough to stop Otsoko from hating Aslan

Whenever she’s scared, she runs first to Idonea

Otsoko is really chatty around Idonea, and sometimes she obliviously says something hurtful (e.g. “I’m going to defeat the scary Lion one day”)

As a full grown Wolf, Otsoko will have a tawny pelt, much like her mother, though she would always be smaller than the rest

#selfless secrets #selflesssecrets #headcanon #headcanon:relationship #headcanon:habit #headcanon:physical

If you’re scared of Aslan, why do you have a Lion friend? –Matty

Because my friend isn’t scary and she don't eat Wolves!

#nrpmatty #ask

Did the Scary Lion Eat You? | Cari and Otsoko

freewaterspirit

The Wolf was so little that no one could be afraid of her. Cari jumped out of the water and sat on a rock, inhaling and exhaling. She then looked at the Wolf and bit her bottom lip. A Wolf pup was not scary at all, but a grown up could be a very dangerous foe.

Cari chuckled. Was that Wolf really scared of her? She raised an eyebrow. “Funny how you say ‘Lion’ as if there was only one out there. I’m in my side, little Wolf, but no one is in mine.”

#freewaterspirit #scarylion

"There's only one who's really, really, really scary," whispered Otsoko, "and he's really, really big too."

The Wolf pup stayed where she was, though her rigid limbs were laced with the urge to run. Ears twitched when Otsoko tilted her head. "Did the scary Lion eat your pack?" She whimpered. "He ate mine."

Idonea remained still as Otsoko buried her small body closer to her own. She let her pup seek all the comfort she needed. And Otsoko had true need of it. She had seen things that one so young never should. It was a miracle she lived, even if she lived in fear. Yet, if she could, the mother would go back in time in an instant to prevent it all from happening in order to shield and protect her baby. Idonea treasured every moment with Otsoko all the more now, knowing that Shura's mother, and Fillin's, would never have moments like these with their pups again.

"If they're watching over us, why can't they come back? Can't they come back here? I don't want them watching over us. I want to see them. I want to play with them. I promise I'll be the goodest Wolf forever and ever and ever. So can't they come back now? Can't they, Mommy? Can't you tell them to come back like you always do?"

Idonea's heart broke irreparably. Turning her tearing eyes to the sky, she prayed for strength. Taking a shaky breath before she licked the pup, Idonea wished she could do what her daughter asked. "I wish I could, darling, truly. I know you miss them and want them back. I do too. But this, it's out of my paws. I can't make them come how this time. But perhaps, if you stay true to your word, and be a good Wolf as long as you live, you can see and play wirh them again someday. And when you do, nothing can take them from you."

Her pup's next question only furthered Idonea's sadness and determination. Licking and rubbing and holding her close, Idonea's heart raced. Like her pup, mother too picked up scents in her tiny pelt. Along with those recenty lost, she also could distinguish the scents of those the pup had never met. Father, sister, grandparents, an entire family lost...

'Please, Aslan... Let her live a long and happy life. Let her know no more pain and death. Do not take her from me, she is all I have. And I am all she has. Do not ever let her know a day without me.'

"I'm not going anywhere, Otsoko. I promise. I will always be with you. *Always*."

#...well that was shorter than I expected. Sorry.#selfless secrets #selflesssecrets #goodnight

It was promised. Always. Taking that word into her pelt, brushing it across her body, the pain slightly buried now, Otsoko curled against her mother's chest. No space was allowed to breathe as gray wisps were entangled in the united scent of the pack. She embraced Fillin, begging him not to disappear anymore than he did now. She rolled with Janan, chasing the tail she knew so well to brush her nose, tickling her. Always. The six letters unraveled itself and wound around the Wolf pup's ears. Always, always.

It was like how Maugrim promised her with only one difference.

Nestling inside the word, Otsoko nursed the aching sensation inside her. It ebbed then surged without sympathy. Always. She couldn't know for certain just then, but she would learn how that word consistently scare her. It was fragile, too much for her. It was easily thrown and more easily broken.

"Mommy?" she said, trying to ignore the twinge of pain whenever she tried to remember. "When can I play with them again? How can I do that? Are they coming back?"

Tribute for Maugrim || Ehecatl, Idonea, Vardan, Otsoko, Onni (if anybody else wants to roleplay as a wolf, feel free to join)

cursedtoremember:

A deep silence followed as Ehecatl walked with her tail down. She had her wolf lips half-opened and it was heavy to breathe. She could smell her brothers and sisters— yet no longer they were. Her pups. She could smell her pups perfectly and individually each one of them. Otsoko was the sweetest and Onni always reminded her of a forest. Idonea smelled also sweet, like honey and fruits. They all smelled like Wolves. The Wolves of Narnia.

They now were incomplete. And there was one smell missing.

The Alpha turned to face her pack, but now with confidence. Her tail started to wag to finally rest around her hind legs when she sat and raised her muzzle proudly. Maugrim’s Beta opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She knew that if she spoke too soon, her voice would break and she would cry, showing her weakness. She should prove that she was strong enough.

Taking a deep breath after a while, Ehecatl looked up at the sky. It was night, a cool breeze danced with the tree tops; a sound of applauses was heard as the world shook with her mourning inside. “Tonight,” she started with a loud and clear voice, “is the night when all changes. I know that some of you will not agree— and I know some of you still care about them— about the humans. I know that some of you trust and I know that some of you do not wish to fight. I know that all of you will never love me as you loved him—” and there her voice cracked. The She Wolf quickly looked down and walked closer to the other Wolves.

"But Maugrim is dead. It is not a celebration. It is not a happy ending for the Wolves," she looked up and looked each one for a few seconds. Bai, Onni, Otsoko, Idonea… each one of them. Even Vardan. She feared for them. Her heart broke just to think that anything could happen to them. "They killed our Alpha and they killed one of our pups," she looked deeply to Otsoko and frowned.

"But we will not stay here and watch this happening age by age. We’re strong enough to defeat them and we will not sit and wait! I declare myself your new Alpha and if anyone wants to challenge to take my place, I am more ready than never!”

"Tonight is the night when all changes."

How true those words were. How sickeningly true... As the vast pack of Wolves gathered in the clearing, she knew. Everything, from this moment on, had changed. Maugrim was gone, just like Gilthanas and her old pack. This time, there was no Witch to bring him back. Maugrim was gone and was not coming back.

"I know that some of you will not agree- and I know some of you still care about them- about the humans."

The great brown eyes of the largest female of the group narrowed and gazed at every face gathered. Which of them still cared about the humans? Who would dare betray their family like that? After all that the humans had done and taken from them?

"I know that some of you trust and I knw that some of you do not wish to fight. I know that all of you will never love me as you loved him-"

Turning her gaze to her sister, Idonea looked stunned. How could the great grey wolf think that? They all loved her, and they all loved Maugrim, but that didn't mean the love for one was than the other. "Otsoko, come." She whispered to her grieving pup as she moved slightly closer to Ehecatl, showing her support of her, even as Ehecatl moved closer to them.

"But Maugrim is dead. It is not a celebration. It is not a happy ending for the Wolves."

Struggling to keep her tears at bay, Idonea looked at every one of her family members. Bai, wth his white coat and endless puns, Onni clumsy klutzy Onni, her dearest Otsoko, and every single one of them. Idonea loved them all. She would lay down her life for any of them. They were her family, her pack. They belonged to her just as she belonged to them.

"They killed our Alpha and they killed one of our pups."

Drawing a shaky breath, Idonea lifted her paw and pulled her daughter closer. She had come so close to losing Otsoko the way Fillin's mother lost him, or the way Shura's mother lost her when she ran away. As Idonea cradled her pup, her eyes traveled to both females; the mother of the dead pup resting her head against her mate, and the mother of the missing pup struggling to appear strong. She had nearly joined them in their grief, but Otsoko had returned when their babies had not. Licking the top of her daughter's head, Idonea closed her eyes for a moment and a single tear fell down her face.

"But we will not stay here and watch this happening age after age. We're strong enough to defeat them and we will not sit and wait! I declare myself your new Alpha and if anyone wants to challenge to take my place, I am ready more than never!"

Eyelids snapping open, Idonea allowed a small snarl to escape her lips. Turning slowly, her eyes pointedly finding Vardan and locking on him accusingly, she rose from her sitting position and angled her body between him and Ehecatl. Vardan, power hungry Vardan, was going to challenge her, she knew. Well let him try. They had lost enough, and Idonea refused to allow him to cause anymore deaths by becoming Alpha. If he wanted to challenge Ehecatl, he'd have to go through her first.

Idonea had led a pack. She had been Alpha. She knew what it took to be a leader, and the desire to lead was not the biggest part. There was so much more to being Alpha than that. Vardan was not ready, nor would he ever be. He was not meant to be Alpha. With her knowledge, and her experience, she was certain of that fact.

Many pairs of eyes glinted in the moonlight, and just as many scents filled her nose. Idonea knew what she always had. She would put her family before herself, and she would do whatever she had to in order to prevent more deaths.