Returned from the dead kiss + bucktommy pleeeease
hiiii! sorry this one took a bit. you'll never believe it but it went a little long. hope you like it! (and congrats again on finishing like a detuned radio! it's so good!) <3!
It was only the fourth time they’d worked the same scene since… everything. And the other three times, Tommy had been in a helicopter. They’d had almost no interaction. Two of those times, Buck had barely even seen him, the third, he’d just been one of the people helping load the patient.
This was different. Tommy was there on ground crew. In his turnouts, looking like the beast Buck wished he could forget about kissing.
The 217 was leading the scene, the 118 and 122 supporting. Buck had helped secure the scene but for now it seemed they weren’t needed.
So he stood near the 118’s engine and watched, his eyes able to instantly locate Tommy no matter how much he tried to lose track.
And then, as was so often the case when something went wrong, things changed in an instant.
Tommy was taking down a section of fencing with a halligan when an electric line fell.
The sparks and noise instantly etched themselves into Buck’s deepest nightmares.
Buck was up and moving in an instant, his entire awareness on Tommy jerking upright as the line hit the fence. Before he got more than five steps, he was on the ground, Ravi on top of him.
“Let me go!”
Ravi didn’t even try to argue, he was too busy looking around for others to help hold him down. He got his wish and Buck was plastered to the pavement with the weight of half his team pinning him in place.
He couldn’t hear what was going on over the sound of his own protesting howls but he could see the 217 swarming, knew they were handling it. But he couldn’t see Tommy anymore, couldn’t tell what was going on.
Shaking off Harry, Buck got one knee under him and pushed himself half up before Hen got a better hold on him. “I have to help! I need to be there!”
“Not letting you get yourself killed trying,” Hen answered. “Let his people do their jobs.”
It felt like forever, laying on the asphalt with dirt and soot, damp with overspray biting into his cheek with freezing teeth. He heard calls between the 217 now, not that he could make out the words over the echoing thud of his heartbeat.
Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. He had to be okay. He had to survive. Buck needed to apologize, needed to thank him, needed to yell at him for a thousand years. Needed to look at Tommy’s face with his too blue eyes and his perfect eye scrunch when he smiled.
He hadn’t told Bobby and now he hadn’t told Tommy. He kept making the same mistake, thinking there was time.
Finally, they must have gotten the power out or the line cleared. Tommy was on a board, being carried to the closest RA.
Buck kicked free of Harry again and wrenched himself from below Ravi. They let him up. He was at the back of the ambulance by the time they got Tommy there.
Lucy caught his arm. “He’s alive,” she told him.
“Tommy…” Buck gasped. They were bagging him so Buck could barely see Tommy’s face. He managed to touch his leg as they loaded him. “Please… I need you.”
Then all he could do was watch as the RA left with him.
---
He’d crashed again on the way to the hospital. It was a miracle he wasn’t on a vent but his breathing was pretty good now. They were going to have to keep monitoring him, concerned about the damage to his heart.
Right now, though, Buck just wanted him to wake up. He’d been holding his hand since the moment he’d been let in to sit with him. Talking to him. Cajoling and bribing and threatening him. Anything he could think of to get him to wake up.
“If you can hear me at all, don’t… don’t take any deals or… fall for some life where everything seems perfect. I… I can guess maybe you’d have… have something like me and get a family where everyone cared and… and maybe your dad was someone who cared about you and… and just wanted you to be happy. And, fuck… I can understand why that would s-sound really good and maybe… maybe better than coming back here where things are so… so…” Buck’s breath hitched and he stroked his thumb along the heel of Tommy’s hand. “We’ve both messed up so much but… but I think maybe… I hope maybe… we both still… still want to try.
“I do, Tommy. I really do. I don’t want to… fuck, we have to stop wasting so much. Seeing you…” Squeezing his eyes closed did nothing to erase the image of Tommy, electricity surging through him.
“Wake up. Please wake up and fix this with me. I’m… god, I’m so tired of missing you and being scared and… you have to be too, right? You… you wanted to try that morning and I fucked it up. But you came when… I’m sorry I let my anger and… and fuck, I’ve just been so sad, Tommy. I thought I was sad before but then… then…”
With his free hand, Buck scrubbed at his face. “We don’t have to be sad anymore, though. Or… or miss each other. If… Tommy… Tommy, please wake up and tell me you want that, too.”
In Buck’s hand, Tommy’s fingers twitched. It was like Buck was the one with too many volts running through him, then. For a moment, his whole brain staticked out, too shocked, too hopeful to find words to speak.
But he didn’t need words. He stood and leaned over Tommy, brushing his lips over Tommy’s forehead. “You can do it,” he whispered. And then he kissed him, his lips on Tommy’s for the first time in over a year. He held Tommy’s hand and kissed his mouth, his cheek, that perfect fucking cleft on his chin. “You can do it, Tommy.”
His lips found Tommy’s again and then Tommy’s hand was squeezing his and Tommy was kissing him and the heart monitor was beeping and Buck was laughing, laughing into a kiss he’d worried he’d never have again.
“That’s it,” he murmured right into Tommy’s mouth. “Just like that, Tommy.”
Tommy’s eyes fluttered open. “Just like that.”
