side blog

schizophrenia, generalized anxiety, PTSD, borderline personality. safe place for fellow psychotics:)

[cptsdbaby]

[potatogorl-deactivated20160408]

I never said that anxiety and unipolar depression aren’t stigmatized. I never said they were easy to deal with. I never said any mental illness is more/less important than another. I ? !?? Every mental illness is stigmatized. Every mental illness is hard to deal with. EVERY MENTAL ILLNESS IS IMPORTANT, but anxiety and unipolar depression literally aren’t demonized?? !

People with only unipolar depression or anxiety aren’t demonized BECAUSE they have unipolar depression or anxiety, while people with bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders and personality disorders are. Demonization is, and I quote, “Characterization of individuals, groups, or political bodies as evil.” and literally no one thinks people with anxiety or unipolar depression are evil.

You won’t find articles on top of articles on top of forums about how you should stay away from people with unipolar depression or anxiety because *lists a bunch of uncontrollable symptoms and misconceptions" + evil evil evil manipulative lying abusers.

When you Google “how to deal with anxiety” or “how to deal with unipolar depression” There are sources to help the people with these mental illnesses deal with their illnesses, versus Googling “how to deal with borderline personality disorder” Where the first page is filled with sources to help OTHER PEOPLE “DEAL WITH” US.

In movies and tv shows people with anxiety or unipolar depression aren’t depicted as crazy, scary, conniving MURDERERS.

Mental health professionals aren’t going to refuse to work with you because you have anxiety or unipolar depression.

All of this because we are seen as evil. We are seen as evil people BECAUSE of our illnesses, BECAUSE of the symptoms that we can’t fucking control.

That’s what demonization is. People like me are demonized for just existing.

[artsybpd]

preach!!

[itastemetal-deactivated20200404]

SAY IT AGAIN

[schizoidprince]

when youre trying to talk but you got disordered thoughts:

[psychoticsuggestion]

i have to quiet my thoughts, or they will hear them.

[angelic-schizo]

Me: wow I've been dealing with all this stress really well

Reality: dissociating

[actualbpd]

idek what to do when people bring up shit ive said in the past like i am literally not the same person i was a few days ago let alone a year ago

[gillandy]

does anyone else ever feel guilty for not being mentally ill enough? like your anxiety or depression fucks you up but then you have good days and you’re productive and it’s like, wow clearly I was faking it bc look at me! I’m fine! and then you feel guilty for wasting everyone’s time 

[angelic-schizo]

FUCK YOU TOPAMAX

this shit is ruining my life. Forgot to mention it in my med review, but it’s an anti-convulsant that I’m prescribed for sleep and mood stabilization. All I do during the day is nap and it’s as if I’m back on seroquel minus the mania.

[angelic-schizo]

Psych Med Reviews

I’ve been tried on a shit ton of meds so I figured I’d give my experience on them. My diagnoses are: schizophrenia, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

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Sleep Meds:

Trazadone- WORST. SLEEP. MEDICATION. That I have EVER taken. Sent me into a psychotic break (thankfully I was inpatient at the time) and was overall a bad time. Made my psychosis horrible.

Vistaril- Same experience as Trazadone except a little less severe and made me a tiny bit less drowsy than trazadone did.

Remeron- It was most likely just my body, but I had a dystonic reaction to it and had hella leg jerks so I can’t take it.

Atarax- Was just like taking 50 mg of Benadryl. Made me drowsy but didn’t help my sleep at all.

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Anti-depressants:

Zoloft- This is the only antidepressant I’ve been prescribed for depression/anxiety and it really mainly helps my anxiety but at least it helps right? Dont cold turkey it if you don’t want to end up inpatient.

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Antipsychotics:

Abilify- Weight gain. Twitches. Sleep. One of the worst I was prescribed for my schizophrenia/psychosis. Even months after I’ve been off it I still have minor twitches in my neck/head area and put on 20 pounds I probably won’t lose. Helped my hallucinations the most but the side effects outweighed the benefits.

Risperdal: WEIGHT GAIN. Once again made me put on even more weight (about 10 pounds, so not as much as abilify). Made my brain foggy and I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Slightly toned down the voices, increased my paranoia.

Seroquel: Actual hell. I’m not bipolar but it ended me up in the hospital as my psychiatrist was worried it had made me severely manic. Constantly sleeping. Not much difference with psychotic symptoms.

Geodon: I wasn’t on this long, it just gave me severe anxiety. As for helping my symptoms, quieted voices a little bit, increased paranoia.

Latuda: made me VERY angry after only two days of being on it. Didn’t notice any difference in helping my psychosis.

Vraylar: This is what I’m currently on and have been on for about three weeks. It works almost as well as the abilify did as for psychotic symptoms but the twitches are worse than on the abilify. Still hearing and seeing things but not as severely. No weight gain so that is a plus!

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Benzodiazepines:

Ativan- I’ve only ever taken Ativan as needed and it works wonders. Helps me sleep, calms me down, and helps the twitches from side effects of antipsychotics.

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I hope this was helpful in some form in helping you chose and understand how meds might affect you!

[sweetschizo-deactivated20190808]

We’re always being told that we we’re “more than our diagnoses” but here’s a reminder that if you feel that your mental illness are all that you are at the moment, if you feel that your diagnosis affects every aspect of who you are, you’re still just as worthy of love, respect and support as everyone else. You don’t have to be more than your diagnosis or to be able to separate yourself from your illness to be real and human and worthy of everything good.