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if i look back, i am lost
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@angelshitposting
cordy sketch
I've gone. Not one for goodbyes, I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to you all, Giles.
Rest in peace, Anthony Stewart Head (1954 – 2026)
it’s still kind of crazy to me that angel complimented spike’s poetry. bc before he was spike, he was william — a gentle soul who loved his mother dearly and wrote poetry. people called him ‘william the bloody’ because of his bloody awful poetry. “spike” came from people saying that his poetry made them want to drive a railroad spike thru their head. and his “softness” followed him into his undeath. he was still a romantic, he still cared deeply for the people he loved, and angelus couldn’t stand it so he made it his goal to turn spike into a monster like him. and spike, only wanting acceptance and validation from the man, changed. he became the most violent hardened version of himself but it was never enough for angelus. so for angel to say he liked spike’s poetry? aka, the core of who spike had originally been (the part angelus tried so hard to destroy)? hm
hrmmrnnmnnrr the way cordelia is angel's first true friend in probably his entire. existence. feeling super normal about this rn
I looooove giant broody vampire boys who are also pathetic sopping wet stray dogs
I’m on my 5th full chronological rewatch of Buffy and Angel, and I just watched Spin the Bottle and was thinking about how awful little Liam’s dad was to him. The word “deviant” gets used more than once in the context of Liam and I know it’s how his dad talked to him.
Then I thought… what if the reason angel is so reluctant to trust spike or even consider that spike might have feelings for him in ATS S5 is because a part of angel is still battling his own internalised homophobia (created by a 1700s Irish catholic upbringing and abusive father) and hasn’t considered before that spike without a soul might have sex with him *ahem* be intimate, but maybe ensouled spike might not feel that way because maybe being gay is “deviant” and something only someone soulless could enjoy without guilt.
I think S5 has angel come to terms with his own sexuality a lot, in very subtle ways, but I think he is forced to, because until that point he’s never had to consider the fact that having feelings for Spike is even a possibility because until then, Spike couldn’t love him back.
I have more to say about his implied childhood but that’s for another post when I have the energy/concentration to get my thoughts in order
Angel: If Cordelia thinks she can just bat her pretty little eyes at me and get whatever she wants… she is absolutely right.
people who say you have to just “get through” s1 of buffy pmo that shit is sooo charming and fun sorry some of you don’t get it
BtVS 7.22 - “Chosen” • AtS 5.04 - “Hellbound” • BtVS 2.22 - “Becoming Part 2” • AtS 5.02 - “Just Rewards” • AtS 5.21 - “Powerplay”
The angel theme song really does slap.
S5 ATS Spike is EXACTLY the same to Angel as he is to Buffy when he has his dream about her and wakes up realising he’s in love… acting out and being a Brat because he’s deflecting and hiding his feelings and this can only imply he had a similar dream about Angel, case closed.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997 - 2003). coffy moments — requested by @whatisyourchildhoodtrauma
based on ref
its that time again. its angel yap time :)
okay perhaps this may be projection okay but who cares. i think angel could be nonbinary, or genderqueer, or whatever. if youve watched angel the series you might remember the episode in season 3 (i think) called billy. well the ending of that episode is often used to be like "angel's a trans woman! hell yeah!" and listen. i love trans women, theyre great. but what about nonbinary angel. surely after 300 years on earth and then like 500 years in hell your experience of gender is just gonna kinda fade. like bro surely would not give a shit about gender. also in that way you can make vampirism an allegory for transgenderism. like the transformation into something different, something new to you, and for most vampires theyre happier after (for angel this is more angelus but whatever we're not having that conversation today). and also the thing that we've seen several vampires do once theyre sired which is choose a new name (darla, angelus/angel, spike) its seemingly common enough between them that its likely common vampire practice (at least for older vampires).
so yeah. angels nonbinary sometimes because i said so <3