[pr3ttypunisherrr]

What is one thing that is an absolute need in your future relationship?

feeling seen.

i mean really seen.

not just the easy parts. not just the version of me that shows up when everything is going well and i'm at my best and i'm funny and warm and giving. anyone can love that version. that version is easy.

i want someone who sees the rest of it too. the messy parts. the parts that are harder to be around. the parts i've spent years learning to hide because i learned early that showing them made people uncomfortable or made them leave or made them look at me differently. i want someone who sees all of that and doesn't flinch. doesn't try to fix it. doesn't make me feel like i need to manage their reaction to my own trauma/pain.

i don't want to perform okayness anymore. i don't want to smile through something hard because i can feel the other person getting uncomfortable with my struggle. i don't want to shrink my needs down to a size that feels more palatable. i don't want to be what i think someone wants me to be instead of just what i actually am.

i want someone who loves me on the days i'm difficult. on the days i'm overwhelmed and withdrawn and not giving very much back. on the days the weight of everything i carry shows on my face and i can't hide it no matter how hard i try. i want someone who reaches for me on those days instead of pulling back.

i want to be loved in all my parts. the parts i'm proud of and the parts i'm still working on and the parts i might always be working on. the full picture. not a curated version of it.

that's the one thing i actually need.

everything else i can figure out.

[dexi-draws]

Suitlyn

[butchfagminotaur]

i hope every lesbian gets to feel how it feels to have another woman be just as crazy about you as you are about them…. not having doubts or confusion.. I wish this with all my heart, for every lesbian, especially trans lesbians.

[butchfagminotaur]

every so often i see reblogs of this with tags like “yeah it’s amazing” and “i know what this is like now” and it just makes my heart go all warm and fuzzy 🥰

[feralkitten420]

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

[lizardho]

I’m reading a book on biofeedback trainings right now and they talk about this. The words “try” or “need” add pressure to stuff. Sometimes switching from “I need to calm down” or “I’m trying to slow my breathing” to “I’m allowing myself to calm down a little more with each exhale” or “I’m giving myself permission to slow my breathing” can be more helpful. There’s a difference between “try to relax the muscle” and “allow the muscle to soften” that is significant enough that for some people it can totally change the outcome of a relaxation exercise.

For other tips and tricks, instead of asking “why” you can’t change a thought/feeling (why being an offensive question, meaning it forces you to respond defensively - in this case defending the emotion you don’t like) you can ask “is there any leeway or wiggle room with this feeling/thought/belief for something else?” Oftentimes we know multiple things at once, and by allowing for a small amount of ambiguity we can start to accept the situation more fully.

[eugieart]

i love when vi yearns

[knightingaale]

extravagant romance is beautiful but nothing beats the peace and solace found in a mundane date together. sitting on the couch and simply talking for hours, reading in each others arms, baking while we watch a show we've seen a thousand times over. domestic life will always be so precious to me.

[glorkums]

The soul of a skittish animal trapped in the body of a faggy lesbian who has to labor under capitalism

[draculings]

Does tumblr still hate tits... well, anyway, New butch pinups are live on my patreon, happy pride fellow butch lovers

[wrenchesabound]

Unfortunately a not insignificant number of people on this site, including people in the butch-femme community, would look a femme with closely cropped hair or a shaved head dead in the face and call them a butch or a masc.

Femmes with short hair: you look incredible. I love how you do femme. Please don’t change because some jerks think your hair length determines what you are; there are so many ways to be a femme dyke.

[ghoostiks]

i cant believe i forgot to repost butch twilight here

[forestgreenlesbian]

Queer Dyke Cruising, Del LaGrace Volcano

[hotnvrybothered]

Jessica Tanzer, from “Bear and Aphra,” 1989.

[autism-freaks]

I would like to remind people that masculinity and gentleness are not opposites. They are not mutually exclusive. You can be very masculine and gentle at the same time. No one is more or less masculine for exhibiting kind, gentle behavior.

[hellsofhearts02]

I loveee consent

"May I?"

"Is this okay?"

"Is that good?"

And uuugghh when they aren't satisfied with a nod

"Words baby"

"I need to hear you say it."

[mermaidsbiann]

butch4butch & butch4femme :3

[crimsonbutch]

butch is an extremely diverse identity that intersects lesbianism and strives for a masculinity that is not rooted in the patriarchy. butch is a gender identity that means many things to many different people, not just cis white lesbians. that includes lesbians of color, butches on t, butches on e, butches who are trans, butches who transitioned, butches who use he/him, butches who have a weird gender, boydykes, lesboys, and especially butches of the working class. if you don't support them then you don't actually support butches.

[butch-ramblings]

(flirting) I could worship you in ways that would make churches look useless.