Hey we don't know one another but I came across this blog in the depths of my own traumatic misery looking for my own validation and I related to a lot of the things you said. I just wanted to tell you that you are right when you feel that you didn't deserve any of what happened to you. You were right to think that it was fucked up. Your anger and grief is not undeserved and your emotions did not deserve to go unheard. I hope you get the love that you should have had as a child at the mercy of those who could not or would not meet your needs. I hope that you find peace away from all that happened to you, a life in which you are appreciated, and a life in which you live for the joy, your friends, and above all, yourself - a life that belongs to you. I may be a stranger and therefore know that my sentiments don't hold much value, but I hope you know I'm rooting for you. May we both have a kinder future.
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