vent blog idk

just block and move on

[anhedonic-anorgasmic]

"Some people die before they're dead."

- Leanna Firestone, Tourniquet

[anhedonic-anorgasmic]

People will tell you it gets better and so you try to believe them and wait it out and then it doesn't get even a little better and now you can't kill yourself because you'd feel guilty about hurting the few people in your life you have left

[kumkaniudaku]

And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???

[anhedonic-anorgasmic]

I'd really like to see less media where bullies/abusers get redemption arcs, especially when their actions get forgiven by the narrative because they've got some sad backstory

We need more shows and movies where abusers are punished for their actions and their victims not only get them out of their life for good, but also don't forgive them even if they apologize

[thelizerdwizerd]

Skin picking disorder is kind of funny because no this ripping into my skin isn't technically self harm because the mentality is different. And that mentality is I rip myself apart for fun and satisfaction and the part where I hate myself is there but unrelated

[anhedonic-anorgasmic]

Thinking about that time a week before my birthday, I had not one but two grown men comment on my dermatillomania scars within hours of eachother

At my job no less!

Just completely unprompted.

"what happened to your face?"

"y'know if you run some arm & hammer toothpaste on your face it'll help"

Let's just say I can't leave the house without a layer of foundation and a face mask now

[newyearpositive]

having a lot of skin imperfections like acne and scabs and scars all over my whole body is honestly a huge morality hurt. I don't hate my body but I hate the idea of undressing for someone beautiful and myself being... disappointing to them

how could anyone look past what covers my whole body

[dasadder]

"Just stop picking"

Yeah you see that's the fucken problem Sherlock Holmes

[jamesblackpotter]

Today I was reminded that bfrbs are genetic because my mom was talking about how she will feel her skin and pick at any imperfections and I’m like mom that’s a disorder and then my sister said that she does that too and I was like yes I do it too it’s a disorder it’s called Dermatillomania. And then I was like hmm maybe everyone picks at their skin a little bit and I asked if they ever get stuck doing it and my mom says oh yeah and my sister said that she sometimes spends like an hour in the bathroom doing it and yeah they both definitely have Dermatillomania

[anhedonic-anorgasmic]

Y'know in retrospect I probably should not have been trying to kill myself at 10 years old.

Like. That's not normal or good.

[zeta-finnish]

Straight up killing it. And by killing it? Well, let's just say... myself.

[failureboylikestocvt]

[anhedonic-anorgasmic]

Kinda fucked up that I've never known what being happy or normal is like

Like not even once

It's all just been experiencing fucked up shit since birth and the consequences thereof

I never even got a chance at being normal. So now I genuinely have no idea what I need to cope and be better because i have zero fucking idea what that looks like

[foxlungz]

When being made fun of for your looks and weight as a kid actually permanently damages the way you see yourself and it’s not just silly lil childhood lore

[maladapt3d]

What doesn't kill you leaves you bleeding for the rest of your life wishing it did

[maladapt3d]

they say time heals wounds, but mine only rotted deeper

[anhedonic-anorgasmic]

It's actually wild how long I've been pretending to be more mentally well than I actually am