Aaaaaw right La Diva has b*tchslapped Anon and I’m just coming here to pee on their freshly-dug grave, ignore me if you want… But NO, Ron did not date Lavender to “get back at Hermione for kissing Krum”.
He dated Lavender because she liked him. Plain and simple. Because she gave him encouragement and praise, which was what he needed, because he’s so very insecure.
I’m gonna copy-paste one of my old essays because I have other matters to attend to:
Why would Ron date Lavender while it’s clear he wanted Hermione?
JKR said it was to make him “worthy” of Hermione and that makes me want to strangle puppies buuuuuut let’s pretend she never said this for a minute.
Looking at fifth year, it can already be foreseen that there’s disaster boiling ahead for their relationship if Hermione doesn’t work on her method of “flirting” with Ron.
This disaster comes up in the form of Lavender. And it should have been a major wake-up call for miss Granger, but as usual the Author’s Darling can do no wrong so Ron has to suffer little miss perfect’s wrath and be the emotionally mature one and do all the goddamn work as usual –
Sorry sorry I’m salty, let’s get this analysis rowling! HAHA GET IT?
In Order of the Phoenix, Hermione only expresses shock and disbelief at Ron making prefect. She doesn’t offer him the slightest compliment - hell, she can’t even REMEMBER any of Ron’s most impressive accomplishments!! And believe me he’s got a whole lot of those compared to what several people want you to think!
“I knew it!” she said excitedly, brandishing her letter. “Me too, Harry, me too!”
“No,” said Harry quickly, pushing the badge back into Ron’s hand. “It’s Ron, not me.”
“It - what?”
“Ron’s prefect, no me,” Harry said.
“Ron?” said Hermione, her jaw dropping. “But… are you sure? I mean -”
She turned red as Ron looked around at her with a defiant expression on his face.
“It’s my name on the letter,” he said.
“I…” said Hermione, looking thoroughly bewildered. “I… well… wow! Well done, Ron! That’s really -”
“Unexpected,” said George, nodding.
“No,” said Hermione, blushing harder than ever, “no, it’s not… Ron’s done loads of… he’s really…” -Chapter 9, U.S. 162
Knocked out a troll with its own club? Provided you with a solution for a little “dragon problem”? Reminded your useless panicking arse that you were a witch even while the Devil’s Snare was attempting to kill Harry and he? Sacrificed himself in a chess match so Harry could get the Philosopher’s Stone? Defended your honour - and Muggleborns as a whole - when Malfoy was being the bigot he is? Faced his worse phobia JUST FOR YOUR SAKE when you were Petrified?! Gotten a bloody Award For Services To The School by following Harry into the Chamber of Secrets?!! STOOD UP TO WHAT WAS THOUGHT TO BE A MASS MURDERER, ON A BROKEN LEG NO LESS, AND THEN WRESTLED SAME PRESUMED MASS MURDERER TO THE GROUND, STILL ON A BROKEN LEG MIND YOU???!!!! Oh and also admitted to his mistake in not believing Harry which shows a lot of maturity for most teenagers? Was Harry’s “thing he would miss the most”? Let Harry practice spells on him to help him prepare in the Third Task?! Basically, has been an amazing friend through and through and FINALLY gets a little bit of recognition for it… AND YOU’RE RUINING IT!!!
God, but I’ll forever want to slap Hermione in this scene.
Then there’s this other thing, after Harry kissed Cho:
“Oh,” said Ron, his smile fading slightly. “Are you that bad at kissing?”
“Dunno,” said Harry, who hadn’t considered this, and immediately felt rather worried. “Maybe I am.”
“Of course you’re not,” said Hermione absently, still scribbling away at her letter.
“How do you know?” said Ron in a sharp voice. -Chapter 21, U.S. 458
Suuuuuure, Hermione, imply you’re familiar with Harry’s kisses right in front of your crush, that’s certainly gonna go well…
“Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have,” said Hermione nastily, picking up her quill again. -Chapter 21, U.S. 459
SURE HERMIONE TELL THE GUY YOU’RE CRUSHING ON THAT HE’S INCAPABLE OF FEELING LOVE I’M SURE THIS’LL GO WELL
(And she’s saying it “nastily”. Don’t ever argue with me again about how Ron is “rude” or “insensitive” after this. My god what a little b-)
“Who’re you writing the novel to anyway?” Ron asked Hermione, trying to read the bit of parchment now trailing on the floor. Hermione hitched it up out of sight.
“Viktor.”
“Krum?”
“How many other Viktors do we know?”
Ron said nothing, but looked disgruntled. -Chapter 21, U.S. 460
Notice. Notice that Hermione’s been writing during all this scene - from the “that bad at kissing” to the comment about the teaspoon (I’m still seething over this), she was writing. Ron was sprawled on the floor doing his Transfiguration homework.
She’s been writing in the exact same room as Ron is - instead of, say, the dormitory - she puts so much in her letter it reaches the ground, coincidentally ending up right under Ron’s nose, and just as he finally gains interest in what she’s written, she takes it away because, just like a fisherman, her target took the bait.
She’s doing it. On. Purpose.
Don’t even try to sell me “poor widdle Hewmione bullied by jealous mean Ron” after this. She WANTS him to be jealous. She WANTS him to be angry. But since he’s much more mature than the little brat thought he was, he doesn’t get angry and just suffers in silence.
“Thanks for the book, Harry!” she said happily. “I’ve been wanting that New Theory of Numerology for ages! And that perfume is really unusual, Ron.”
“No problem,” said Ron. -Chapter 23, U.S. 503
PERFUME!
He gifted her perfume. I’ve never had a romantic relationship with anyone and even I know that perfume isn’t something you give to someone you just consider a friend. That’s a romantic gift! He’s trying, he’s bloody trying, he’s doing his best, damnit!
And she - and she - the utter, mind-numbingly insensitive prat - not even a single encouragement - nothing - “unusual” - do you want him to be in love with you or are you trying to put him off girls forever, you fool?!
Okay, so that was from Order of the Phoenix. See how dismissive Hermione is of Ron, how she is utterly blind to his attempts at getting her attention -
“Harry, you’re worse than Ron… Well, no, you’re not,” she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy. -Chapter 26, U.S. 572
… I will not start screaming profanity at my computer screen, I will NOT start screaming profanity at my computer screen…
Now, we’ll enter the Lav-Lav zone, Half-Blood Prince, where the proverb “You reap what you sow” storms in and gives Hermione a massive kick in her royal, romantically lazy rear.
When talking about Fleur Delacour (WHO IS A HALF-VEELA AND AS SUCH HAS AN EFFECT ON ALL BOYS, NOT JUST RON, THANK YOU (not Harry because he’s Mr Point Of View and we need him intact to describe things)):
“Don’t you get used to her if she’s staying in the same house?” Harry asked.
“Well, you do,” said Ron, “but if she jumps out at you unexpectedly, like then…”
“It’s pathetic,” said Hermione furiously, striding away from Ron as far as she could go and turning to face him her arms folded once she had reached the wall. -Chapter 5, U.S. 93
My god but what a little -
He. Can’t. Help. It. He literally CAN’T help it. He’s trying, but suggestion magic has an extremely strong impact on Ron - remember how in GoF, he’s still skipping steps twenty minutes after Moody freed him from the Imperius Curse?
That’s potentially foreshadowing for how the Locket will be able to take such a hold on him, but we’re focusing on Lav-Lav at the moment so -
If I were you, Hermione, I wouldn’t say to my crush that he’s “pathetic”. But then again, you clearly took flirting lessons from Snape, sooo…
And THEN. The doozy. The thing that will remind Ron of the conversation about “the way Harry kisses”, the thing that will start making him truly consider - because he probably feared it deep down but thought it was unfounded - the possibility that Hermione could fancy Harry.
‘I dunno why the team’s this popular all of a sudden.’
‘Oh, come on, Harry,’ said Hermione, suddenly impatient. ‘It’s not Quidditch that’s popular, it’s you! You’ve never been more interesting and, frankly, never more fanciable.’
Ron gagged on a large piece of kipper. Hermione spared him one look of disdain before turning back to Harry.
‘And you’ve been through all the persecution from the Ministry when they were trying to make out you were unstable and a liar. You can still see the marks where that evil woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your story anyway…’
‘You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry, look,’ said Ron, shaking back his sleeves.
‘And it doesn’t hurt that you’ve grown about a foot over the summer, either,’ Hermione finished, ignoring Ron.
‘I’m tall,’ said Ron inconsequentially.
What did surprise him was that when Ron drew level with them, Parvati suddenly nudged Lavender, who looked round and gave Ron a wide smile. Ron blinked at her, then returned the smile uncertainly. His walk instantly became something more like a strut. Harry resisted the temptation to laugh, remembering that Ron had refrained from doing so after Malfoy had broken Harry’s nose. Hermione, however, looked cold and distant all the way down to the stadium through the cool, misty drizzle, and departed to find a place in the stands without wishing Ron luck.
Bless his heart, he’s trying. He’s really, really trying.
But Hermione is “too scared” that Ron might not like her back - “brightest witch of her age” my ass, seriously this girl is DAFT - and so she’s not, ever, absolutely not going to take any chance…
Ron has been bitter ever since the Slug Club has appeared and for good reason. Slughorn’s slightly elitist group of prime students probably broke many a friendship in Hogwarts.
Harry, hating fame and attention, prefers to keep Ron company, something Ron is really grateful for; but Hermione loves the attention, she likes being praised and being remarked for her intelligence, she loves showing off. She’ll even try to convince Harry to come with her at the gatherings - and proving once more how she has no idea what Harry needs emotionally (take that, Harmione shippers…).
Plus, even Ginny, Ron’s little sister, is a member of the Club. Ron really is the odd man out, and even though he can usually handle being cast aside in favour of Harry - this time both his friends and his already-favoured-at-home-little sister are in the spotlight while he’s still pushed in the shadows. For someone with so little self-esteem and such a desperate need to be noticed by the people he likes, can you really blame him for being bitter over this?
But luckily Hermione finally decides to pull her fingers out and do something proactive in her quest for Ron’s boxers… I mean his heart…
“We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, who for some reason had turned a bright, boiling scarlet, “and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it’s that stupid then I won’t bother.”
[Harry being a dork in the background]
“You were going to ask me?” asked Ron, in a completely different voice.
“Yes,” said Hermione angrily. “But obviously if you’d rather I hooked up with McLaggen…”
[Harry still being a dork]
“No, I wouldn’t,” said Ron, in a very quiet voice. -Chapter 14, U.S. 282
Aaaaaaaaaand… I’m trying to judge whether or not Ron’s invitation to the Yule Ball was lamer or not.
Because admit it, this is NOT an invitation:
“We’re allowed to bring guests”
We’re = a plural, refers to all the Slug Club’s members, which distances Hermione from the intimacy of asking Ron out
allowed = implies that hadn’t Slughorn told her so, she’d have gone solo
to bring = you bring a bottle of wine at a wedding, you bring a friend over, you don’t “bring” your date somewhere! Way to make it sound like a chore!
guests = the biggest offender; suggests Hermione could literally bring Ron AND Dean AND Seamus AND Neville AND however many other people she’d like, and outright destroys the “date” aspect of her question. To Ron, it’d sound more like something done out of pity than an actual date.
“and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it’s that stupid then I won’t bother.”
She’s not asking him out.
She NEVER asks him out.
She even recognizes it herself: she’s not asked him yet, and she won’t.
“You were going to ask me?” asked Ron, in a completely different voice.
THE VOICE OF HOPE AND LONGING OBVIOUSLY
“Yes,” said Hermione angrily. “But obviously if you’d rather I hooked up with McLaggen…”
Aaaaaaand she answers sarcastically and so completely screws over her ‘invitation’ in the process.
Most people wouldn’t consider this a date, but just an invitation made out of pity.
But being a trusting sweetheart, Ron gives Hermione the benefit of the doubt, and they act politely to each other for a whole three weeks. Even Harry is impressed… terrified… and giddy with anticipation.
“Harry’s snogged Cho Chang! And Hermione snogged Viktor Krum, it’s only you who acts like it’s something disgusting, Ron, and that’s because you’ve got about as much experience as a twelve-year-old!”
Right, now I want to strangle kittens along with the puppies.
Ginny is publically humiliating Ron in front of his best friend which is already bad in itself, but here, she is outright out of line; she betrays one of Hermione’s secrets for the sole purpose of hurting Ron and she puts in her brother’s head the idea that being mature means having experience on the romantic scene.
Which, as we all know, is bullcrap. (all of us know, but JKR doesn’t, apparently… *eye roll*)
Imagine just how this can snowball in Ron’s mind. An insecure teenage boy, who’s been forced his whole life to believe that everyone is better than him, how everyone succeeds but him, how even when he accomplishes something (the prefect’s badge…) it’s just not enough.
Ron, up to this point, had accepted Hermione’s “just a pen-pal” explanation for Viktor. He still felt jealous, but he did his best to accept that Hermione had a ‘suitor’ who was rich, talented and famous (yeah, I think he’s allowed to feel jealous there).
But now? Hermione’s betrayed his trust; Krum was obviously more than a simple pen-pal, and she’s been writing to him often in Order Of The Phoenix; where those love letters, all this time? She snogged Krum and… and…
… wait a minute… didn’t she say something about the way Harry kisses?
And she said Harry had never been more fanciable! And - and she wants him to go to the Slug Club with her, too! She’s ALWAYS telling Harry to come to Slug’s gatherings! Why’d she invite Ron, then?
What if she invited him just to shut him up or worse, because she pities him, because he’s the dimwit, the load, the tag-along - after all she’s always saying he’s stupid, or pathetic, or ignoring him -
“She snogged Krum. She wants Harry. She thinks I’m nothing but an immature idiot. She doesn’t love me. I was deluding myself.”
There you have it. The heartbreak. Followed by Ron icing Hermione out (which, obviously, is wrong of him, I won’t deny it), Hermione having no idea why, Harry doing his best impression of a coat-hanger and not telling her anything, which could have saved us from what’s to come -
The Quidditch match where Harry pretends to put Felix Felicis in Ron’s goblet, so his confidence shots up and he can be King once more.
And indeed, Ron does play brilliantly, and I’m certain that Harry was counting on the euphoria of victory to mellow Ron out so he could make amends with Hermione.
But of course, Hermione, as usual, sets herself up for heartbreak all on her own by saying to Ron’s face that it’s only because of the Felix Felicis he saved all the goals.
Harry reveals his stratagem to make Hermione shut up and to make Ron even happier.
Hermione doesn’t shut up.
And so Ron’s belief that Hermione thinks he’s an immature idiot is confirmed. His worst fears are confirmed. Hermione thinks he can’t do anything right without the use of a goddamn Luck Potion.
Is it such a wonder that he decides to give up on her?
She clearly fancies famous, rich Quidditch players; she’s told Harry he was fanciable which can be interpreted as “I find you fanciable”; her compliments to Ron are so few and far between they’re practically nonexistent.
Ron thought no girl would ever love him, and the girl he’s in love with has just shown she believes him to be nothing but an incompetent idiot.
But there is a girl who’s been interested in him. Who’s shown repeatedly that she had a thing for him. Who’s been proactive in her courting of him.
Ron is too shy and insecure to make the first move; Hermione never understood that, she simply assumed he knew she had a crush on him. News flash, idiot: Ron’s not a telepath!
Ron did not date Lavender to make Hermione jealous; he didn’t even know she’d get jealous. To him, she’s never been interested.
Ron, whose hands and forearms still bore scratches and cuts from Hermione’s bird attack, was taking a defensive and resentful tone.
“She can’t complain,” he told Harry. “She snogged Krum. So she’s found out someone wants to snog me too. Well, it’s a free country. I haven’t done anything wrong.”-Chapter 15, U.S. 304
Those who say the canaries “haven’t hurt Ron”? Can put a sock in it. He has scratches and cuts. He WAS hurt. Hermione inflicted bodily harm on him and still thinks of herself as a victim while it’s her fault for acting the Tsundere towards him.
Ron is not a telepath. He is in love with Hermione, but she acts like a prissy Ice Queen with him and shows very often that she doesn’t hold him in high esteem (AND THAT’S A HUGE CHARACTER FLAW DAMNIT). Dating Lavender was his attempt to “get over” Hermione.
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