whoops lost myself for about eight years there
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@aniseedballs
whoops lost myself for about eight years there
they should really warn you ahead of time about how much of adult life hinges on being able to navigate other Ppls childhoods. Like lot of the time in order to complete a task or even just communicate effectively you need to get a sense of ‘wtf happened to this guy in high school’
Christian Scharfetter, Ego‐fragmentation in Schizophrenia: A Severe Dissociation of Self‐experience
"It's like a hole in my life, an eight-year hole. That's what I find interesting in people's lives, the holes, the gaps, sometimes dramatic, but sometimes not dramatic at all. There are catalepsies, or a kind of sleepwalking through a number of years, in most lives. Maybe it's in these holes that movement takes place."
—Gilles Deleuze, On Philosophy
Oh, I think I'll sit this one out. I don't like to play games that involve trivia, drawing, lying, improv, rhythm, pattern recognition, random chance, making choices, competing in matters of creativity, cooperation with strangers, guessing things you aren't expected to know the answer to, losing sometimes, performing tasks that aren't obvious at first, being presented with twists, achieving goals, paying attention, reading, learning rules, looking at a screen, holding objects, hearing someone speak, acknowledging the existence of others, or playing.
Sorry for falling off. That was on purpose. I had to become something I wasn’t in order to remember what I was.
i just need to have more rules for myself. more rules and limits. surely that will help me
fyi i do not “crush” i experience violent, all-consuming devotion and yearning that leaves me physically ill
Nobody is ever ready for anything you cant prepare yourself for a relationship its so stupidddd that we get told this like “girll focus on yourselffff”. If you were smart you wouldnt be focusing on anything at all actually cuz nothing matters. But if we r gonna be sold this like true love fantasy then i guess focus on THATTT, fall sooo deep into the fantasy, let it destroy and rebuild you thats whats so good about love. This bubble wrapping urself generation like sorry but i just do not subscribe to this version of love im not happy that the options for me are guys that are “aware of dating rules”. I read GOOD books and watcj GOOD movies cunnnn I see my mum and dad i know what GOOD relationships look like its not “healthy communication “ or like “learning a love language” or “taking space” its explosion explosion explosion bomb bomb bomb holding up a mirror to eachother and hating it and seeing yourself in the things you hate about them and choosing to instead love that about them and yourself cuz yoy cannot change a person. You jhst havr to love them and its always your choice. Love and relationships is literally just destruction and unavoidable change and crisis over and over and over again its meant to obliterate your ego and your partner should every day naturally unconsciously be teaching you something new about the world. Or am i being dramatic lol. Romance exists to explode you and my confusion is this: how do you not love that??
me when someone abruptly asks me if i want to go and do something fun together but the fun thing wasn't part of my daily plan:
Does anyone else have an list of 10-15 untouchable thoughts that if you let yourself remeber or think about them for even a second it’s excruciating or is this a me thing