And Miles To Go Before I Sleep @annaandelsaofarendelle - Tumblr Blog

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

Are you like the only guy who hasn’t been in Jerusalem this weekend? still one of the funniest beats in Scripture

mademoiseli

While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” (Luke 24:15-18)

supreme-leader-stoat

theconstitutionisgayculture

If anyone thinks Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor one of the first things he did after coming back from literal death is disguise himself as Some Guy, walk up to his traumatized followers who just watched him tortured to death, and go "Sup guys. Did something happen?"

source

#nature #table #River

thegalaxyisarainbow-blog

Tfw you go down a rabbit hole of RMS Carpathia edits and are literally crying your eyes out over 100+ year old Boats. The Indomitable Human Spirit, yes, but also the Indomitable Need To Cry Over This Amazing Ship.

The RMS Carpathia was rated for 14 Notts. She was 58 miles away, a 4 hour journey at full speed, when she received the SOS signal from the Titanic. The SS California was closer, so much closer, but ignored the Titanics frantic SOS signals and their flares. The Carpathia's radio officer ran to the captain immediately, who left out of bed and, before he was even dressed, was commanding they head north to the Titanic. The RMS Carpathia was rated for 14 Notts, but she made over 17 Notts, that night; we'll never know exactly, because her gages only went to 17. She destroyed 3 of her boilers, melting them down into useless hunks of metal, all to reach a ship from a rival company. Passangers abord the Carpathia not only helped prep food and space for the survivors, they threw their own belongings overboard, to reduce the ship's weight. The hot water and heating was turned off to divert power to moving faster. The Carpathia were rated for 14 Notts, and should have made it there in 4 hours. She made it in 3. They poured oil into the waters so they were calmer, safer to bring up lifeboats. They deployed nets, to catch boats or people in the water and haul them up faster. They mounted lights on the side of the ship, so the survivors could see her. They converted their dining halls into emergency triage and medical centers. They saved 705 people that night, giving up cabins and doubling up together to make room for the survivors. Carpathia made a miracle that night. She raced against the reaper to save hundreds of lives.

#history

greenleavesandwarmbreezes

I'd like to give a big shout-out to the other drivers on the road for encouraging me in my walk as a Christian by constantly presenting new and exciting opportunities for me to forgive and love my new-found enemies.

“This recipe is perfect for weeknights—it only takes 30 minutes!” and and the first ingredient is an entire butternut squash cut into 1-inch cubes

#true

vetchtibbles

I think I’m falling behind in pop culture can we stop writing books and making movies until I catch up. something crazy is about to happen to gilgamesh

#funny

thesaintelectric

scream 'aesthetic' parents are house of leaves-ing their kids

catgirlcowboy-deactivated202306

adding these tags bc i didnt know this but also can u imagine being stuck in blurry beige hell OPIGBFOBRTG

#my baby’s nursery is so bright green that I stand outside in the hallway wondering why the washer and dryer look green before I remember #baby

embroiderycrafts

So many French knots but worth it for those cherry blossoms by five_foot_nothing on reddit.

#embroidery

allthingseurope

Colmar, France

#colmar #france #europe

quannaix

I want everyone to see this section of a mostly unredacted judgement I’ve been reading. Mostly it’s fine, but occasionally they have to X out a word or a profit margin or something. But then I encountered paragraph of the year.

quannaix